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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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who are we paying to verify the authenticity of this supposed antique? the risk is beyond measure, i mean the losses could stretch into the billions. we invest that money with my guy strat and compounding interest plus inflation means that $5500 is worth 12 million by 2080. it's a no brainer here.

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A spreadsheet containing the entire firm’s 2016 comp totals by employee was sent out to a decent number of people today. I saw it within 10 minutes, tipped off the person, got IT to clean it up.

 

I have always known that I’m not actually valued at this firm, but seeing it very clearly outlined was really something. It doesn’t change the score at all, just makes the annual review dynamic interesting. It’s your classic “they know that I know” situation.

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I didn't go looking for her line in the spreadsheet (lol), but she is nominally on my level. Basically, our external valuation company made a big mistake in sending the data to her, and she made an even bigger mistake in forwarding it on without scrutinizing it at all. The way the company is organized, she is in an area that is blissfully unaware of the unbelievable comp struggle going on in the advising group, so even if she had looked at the data, she may have forwarded the info along anyway.

 

I don't think her career is over or anything, but can't imagine she'll be allowed to be involved in something so sensitive going forward. We are not the type of company to rip someone apart over a mistake like this, careless though it was.

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I saw it as a chance to show that I can be trusted despite the backstabbing bullshit my former boss pulled in my last annual review. Plus, it's definitely not a faceless/victimless situation. I actually like almost all of the people that would experience blowback from the release of that data.

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I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Stratty. You're a bad man, bad man.

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Last I knew they hadn't figured out how to turn off my access to salaries without removing the other access I need. I've never cared enough to look though as i feel fairly compensated and don't care to know what other people make.

 

The other analyst is a big fan of telling me that his wife makes a lot more than he does and that he could be making a lot more had he stayed in tax, which is, you know, good for them and stuff.

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If it were possible, I would happily go back to not knowing that I’m basically getting screwed. It’s extremely demoralizing to know that I put everything into fixing that department, and the people who got all of the reward did so based on their “leadership contributions” and their years of service.

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Wouldn’t it be nice to be happy with what you have. I know, deep down inside, that I’ll never be happy with what I have. If I make 100,000 I’ll butch about not making 125,000. I’ll never be satisfied. The only thing I want is more. Always more.

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I’ve been running the conversation through my head since last night—what I will have to say if someone asks what I think about what I saw. I have said this before: these are advisors, so you can expect them to create and leverage doubt, and they will immediately call bullshit if you try to bullshit them.

 

I think the best response is simply to say, “It doesn’t change anything for me. I have aspirations to make $x within the next five years. I will do what I can, either with this firm or at another one, to keep making progress toward that goal.”

 

Trying to avoid references to other people, and trying not to say “I am entitled to my number.”

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I remember when I saw the recruiter ad for a position on the team I was just promoted to and the salary range was about 10k/yr more than the raise I had to fight and claw and get executive board approval to obtain. I flipped my shit at my boss. I asked them why they valued certs and other, largely unnecessary, technical experience that can be learned anywhere over company specific knowledge that gets used daily to cut ticket resolution times by up to 70%? Then I went on to ask what kind of talent retention strategy was not competitively compensating internal promotions with outside hires and did they really expect to retain "go getters" with that kind of approach? Finally, I showed them salary increase projections of my salary vs. the advertised salary and how long it would take to "catch up" even if I beat the new hire by a 2-3% difference in performance increase every year. Not long after that I got a "salary adjustment" to put me slightly over the advertised listing and over a 5% raise the next 2 years.

 

My point here Strat is that if you are waiting for them to recognize your value and compensate you for it you're going to die underpaid. Sometimes you gotta make a business case and demand what's yours. The worst they will do is say no and you haven't really lost anything. As I type this, I'm pretty sure I've advised similarly before so I'll try to remember to shut up about it in the future so as not to beat the dead horse into paste.

 

 

**disclaimer**

My advice presumes you create efficiencies, add value, and generally get shit done. Anyone else reading this advice that, say for example, got a job because of family connections probably won't like the result as it will most likely be getting laughed out of the room and/or being the butt of numerous jokes at the office christmas party and the like.

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A spreadsheet containing the entire firm's 2016 comp totals by employee was sent out to a decent number of people today. I saw it within 10 minutes, tipped off the person, got IT to clean it up.

 

I have always known that I'm not actually valued at this firm, but seeing it very clearly outlined was really something. It doesn't change the score at all, just makes the annual review dynamic interesting. It's your classic "they know that I know" situation.

 

That would be insta-firing at most places I have worked.

 

Ronnie, a lot of projections have ISU going to Orlando for a bowl game. Can't wait to go and not meet up.

 

You really should though. Ronnie is a precious gem.

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We are on the same page re: putting your nuts on the table. My case is harder now that I’ve switched to a different department. I no longer have any apples to apples comparables, and work in a role with no concrete way to calculate value added. In my mind, the only surefire way to keep them honest is to just keep improving the way I look on paper.

 

I am starting to look pretty sexy as potentially something like the COO for a smaller advising firm.

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