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I Called In Sick Today

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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hey shake.


so i reported for jury duty and an hour into voir dire i had a bad feeling. it's a civil case and the collective stupidity of the pool made it real clear to me i was gonna be chosen. and i was. we began the trial 30 minutes later and now i'm doing my civic duty. and I'm damn proud to be an american.

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oh i told them i'm a licensed attorney. i thought for sure that would get me dismissed, but as time went on i started to wish i hadn't said anything because it seemed like half the pool said they wouldn't be able to remain unbiased for one reason or another. a black lady said she didn't believe in having a judicial system. smart move on her part.

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Well, you can't really pull off jury nullification in a civil case.


Well you could, when asked, claim that no business is ever at fault for an accident on its property and therefore you don't believe in negligence. Which some people did agree, that "accidents happen" and it isn't the places fault. Thy were all dismissed. But yeah, technically.

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I liked being chosen for jury duty. I hope I am again someday. Thankfully I made it in the actual trial. I would have been really disappointed if I hadn't.


I also had a civil trial.


The dude was suing State Farm for not paying enough for a car accident that one of their clients had. I was really surprised at how bad both lawyers were. (I figured State Farm had only good ones)



Everyone on our jury wanted to give the guy millions of dollars except for myself and the jury foreman. We both felt like the dude was lying about his various back & neck issues.



We ended up giving him $290k, which I thought was horrible, but we were able to tie almost all of it to post-operation on his neck and back. So if he wanted to get a back surgery to release another 50k, go for it. Neck surgery also? Ok, another 50k.


It's was pretty cool.


(I might be remembering some details wrongly)

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I was called twice. First time I went and was there for 7 hours before being excused. 2nd time I just threw the notice away and they haven't bothered me since.


It's complete waste of time for busy and important people like myself. Jury duty is for old people and weirdos.

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I keep getting pulled back into this stupid f'n project for my old boss because parameters keep changing and of course everything is mission critical and I won't even get credit for doing this bullshit because he'll just pass it all on as his own work. Luckily for him I've got nothing else going on so I can work on it immediately I just don't want to.

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I just threw the notice away and they haven't bothered me since.


Are you sure you don't have a warrant out for your arrest?

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