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I Called In Sick Today


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I constantly look like I'm not doing work but that's because my computer is useless while I run queries and macros. If I was a useful person I would rig up some usb powered light that would turn on whenever I was maxing out my processors to let people around me know that I am, in fact, working.

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Like, yesterday, my boss gave me a break even analysis project that requires putting everyone of our 1,000+ customers through a pricing model of someone else's design. She told me to ask him for help. So I did and he got super panicky about how long that would take him and that he wouldn't help me until I had my manager clear it with his manager. Partly because it was going to be a lot of work for him and he probably didn't want to do it and also his manager is super anal about having her reports track all their time during the week and discusses it in weekly one on ones.

 

It's not uncommon for me to go weeks without talking to my manager.

 

Anyways, I tell him that's fine. My manager is in meetings all day so I don't see her until the afternoon and I let her know what's what. She fires off an email to all parties and that's that. But I start asking her for some clarifications on the project and she opens up the flipping pricing model and all it is a plug and chug excel sheet. It'll take me an hour or two to figure out exactly what info I need to feed into it but after that it's just a simple macro loop to run all the customers through. I can't imagine how long it would take him to do it on his own whereas I'll be done in less than a day. Not to mention I was looking over all the formulas and there's soooo many crazy long if formulas that would easily be accomplished with a vlookup. It's like people don't understand the difference between true and false. He even uses vlookups elsewhere.

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I constantly look like I'm not doing work but that's because my computer is useless while I run queries and macros. If I was a useful person I would rig up some usb powered light that would turn on whenever I was maxing out my processors to let people around me know that I am, in fact, working.

 

That would use cpu cycles, though. Stop wasting cycles, Napa.

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This is why I'm not a useful person.

 

 

 

Did I tell you guys I was riding my motorcycle this weekend and some jackass in a minivan legit almost ran me off the road/hit me? Just out of nowhere he started swerving in and out of my lane as he was coming towards me. It was a country highway so I was doing 60 and him at least that. We were the only two people on the road and I legit thought he might be actively trying to kill me. It happened so fast but I was able to get as far right as possible while still on the road and he was definitely in my lane as he passed by me. I would have been a goner for sure. But at least I would have been reunited with our dear friend Tilty.

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This is why I'm not a useful person.

 

 

 

Did I tell you guys I was riding my motorcycle this weekend and some jackass in a minivan legit almost ran me off the road/hit me? Just out of nowhere he started swerving in and out of my lane as he was coming towards me. It was a country highway so I was doing 60 and him at least that. We were the only two people on the road and I legit thought he might be actively trying to kill me. It happened so fast but I was able to get as far right as possible while still on the road and he was definitely in my lane as he passed by me. I would have been a goner for sure. But at least I would have been reunited with our dear friend Tilty.

 

People are the worst. If it was intentional, they were an ahole

 

If they weren't paying attention, also an ahole.

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He almost surely was texting. It was like 4 in the afternoon so I hope he wasn't drunk, but ya never now. I briefly considered turning around and chasing after him to give him a piece of my mind but common sense prevailed. Shitty thing was is 2 miles prior I had stopped at a gas station to fill up but they only had corn gas so I kept on going. If they would have had normal gas I would have never crossed his path.

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Almost all of iowa gas contains some amount of ethanol thanks to BIG CORN. most gas stations have 87 w/ ethanol and 87 w/o ethanol. Some places will have 91 w/o ethanol and some have E85. This gas station only had 87 w/ethanol. It's cheaper but you get less mileage and it's a little harder on your engine. Ok for cars but with motorcycles you want to put in as high octane non-corn gas as possible.

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basically, yes there's a story.

 

my girlfriend habitually opens her passenger side door into the open space without looking, and maybe 10% of the time, someone has to brake to avoid crushing my door. she did it again today, and someone had to stop quickly, and it didn't even register with her that something bad nearly happened. I asked her, "would you please start looking before you open your door?" I don't know of a nicer way to say it, maybe there is some phrasing work to be done there. anyway, she snapped at me about not needing another parent.

 

you look before you cross the street, you slow down a little when coming around corners, but no, I'm an ******* for suggesting that you don't blindly and aggressively open your door into a place where someone may be pulling in.

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So, I was right in that a recent quitter here was tapped to be our new "big data" employee. They just listed the job and I saw the position reports to the one manager I'm cool with and I asked him to confirm my suspicions and he really wants me to apply for it. I think I would really like the work other than the fact that id be terrified I wouldn't know what I was doing and was messing everything up and would be fired any day.

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So, I was right in that a recent quitter here was tapped to be our new "big data" employee. They just listed the job and I saw the position reports to the one manager I'm cool with and I asked him to confirm my suspicions and he really wants me to apply for it. I think I would really like the work other than the fact that id be terrified I wouldn't know what I was doing and was messing everything up and would be fired any day.

you better not apply for it, then

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quick poll. you have parked your car in a spot next to an empty one. do you check before opening your door?

 

You are going to need to actively start giving your current and future girlfriends a little more grace. Let her learn on her own when a car smashes into her hand. You have insurance. It would almost certainly be the fault of the car pulling in if they hit you... even if everyone knows it's really her fault. So you don't need to worry about your car.

 

I know your GF annoys you... but dude, you have to have a little more grace and understanding with someone you might live with for 50 years. Some people are absentminded and just don't think logically. That doesn't mean they're broken. They just don't have the same strengths.

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My partner annoys the shit out of me too. The trick is, I learned to fetishize xer acting like an awful nut all the time, and xe fetishizes being talked down to and treated like a child. Instead of always being angry at one another, I'm mostly just rock-hard 24/7.

 

People stigmatize ageplay and assume it's all adult babies, but it's more about women being freed from the burdens of adulthood by becoming a Little and submitting to their Big. Your whole problem would be avoided if she had in a giant car seat in the back and waited for you to come around and unbuckle her.

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You are going to need to actively start giving your current and future girlfriends a little more grace. Let her learn on her own when a car smashes into her hand. You have insurance. It would almost certainly be the fault of the car pulling in if they hit you... even if everyone knows it's really her fault. So you don't need to worry about your car.

 

I know your GF annoys you... but dude, you have to have a little more grace and understanding with someone you might live with for 50 years. Some people are absentminded and just don't think logically. That doesn't mean they're broken. They just don't have the same strengths.

I am not worried about my car, I just don't want to date some disfigured monster, and I told her as much. Did I not include that part of the story or something?

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that's why Sklansky is aroused by you.

 

Good to see you around, Frau. Hope everything is well.

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