I Called In Sick Today

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Yeah, they really can do whatever they want at this stage. It doesn’t feel like I’m getting 1/20th of her dating effort, which is so different from online dating. 

We texted a bunch today, and the conversation eased up in a way that I wouldn’t expect until after 2-3 dates. I don’t know how to describe it... less arms length? The nice thing is, today’s conversation makes me a whole lot less nervous about tomorrow. 

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

texting for too long before meeting up seems tough to me. i want to, but lack the confidence to actually do it, text for no more than 1 day and say lets meet. either yes or no. im not looking for a goddamn pen pal.  i have my online buddies for that. 

[Theraflu 1,035]

Good point. Wouldn't want to be with someone of the opposite sex who you can carry on a conversation with about lots of different topics. 

 

And you DEFINITELY wouldn't want to be in a long term relationship with that person. 

[Essay21 2,385]

I don’t consider texting back and forth before you meet for the first time in person to be fun. I don’t need your life story by text before we meet. 

[hank213 1,823]

They don't call him the great communicator for nothin folks

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

nobody has ever said that. i certainly never said that. i'm just telling you i dont like it. think its a waste of time. we can't just meet for a drink and see what's what? 

[Theraflu 1,035]

No, not in today's world. 

Look how hard and objective Stratty has been on himself. The man is putting in serious work to play that miserable dating game, and he's getting results. Sitting around judging women in 2020 for....wanting to text? That's not gonna get it done, pal. 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I think, unless you’re a 10, you’re going to have to do whatever the girl wants to do, at least in the early stages. I think it’s important to say you want to keep moving to the next step but be willing to wait if she’s not up for that.

The thing tonight was not stellar. I don’t think I’ve ever failed to make someone laugh in a 60 minute period before. It was just weird, we had to wear masks until seated, and were told we were on a clock before the table needed to be turned over. She showed up 10 minutes late, which is bad considering she unilaterally made the reservations. I’m still willing to give it another go, because we really did click over texts, but I doubt she goes for it.

I am mostly annoyed because I’m never going to hear the end of it from my buddy’s wife, who helped make the connection. 

[brvheart 1,752]

Bummer!

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I might have misread, I’m not sure. She did not terminate things last night / this morning, so I guess we are still on. I’m not riding a rollercoaster here or anything, probably sounds like it though.

Wearing a new slim fit lilac shirt from Tyrwhitt today. Feeling great. 

[Essay21 2,385]

Hey you had some great texts either way!

 

i went on a date last summer, I think I mentioned it here. I thought it went well. When we left she initiated a hug and said “I’ll text you when I get home.”

I took that as a good sign. She texted to say she didnt want to see me again. So you really never know with the ladies. 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

That’s just weird, man. It felt a little like that with the one I did a few video chats with. I think it’s best not to think about it more than they are. 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

So the current approach is to get business casual shirts that fit me today (to wear at work), and then transition them all to casual use when I am done losing in 1-2 months. It’s going to be like 10 total casual button down shirts when the process is done. I think the all-in cost was like $450.

There’s a guy in town that does custom fit shirts/pants that makes the process about as painless as can be, which I’m gonna do for my actual work clothes. We are talking, specialized buttons, cuffs measured to fit a watch, everything. It’s going to be expensive ($70-80 per) and I’ll have to do dry cleaning, but I think it’s worth it to have stuff that fits perfectly and looks super nice (and aggressively keeps me accountable on weight gain).

I’m in the office today. When I was running out to get lunch, I ran into the coworker I was interested in (and am no longer texting). She did a double take, we said hi. Felt good. I still kinda think we would be dating now if circumstances were different. 

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

good luck on the clothes during the down sizing stratego. i wasted a good amount of money on clothes on the way down. when i was at 200 pounds i never thought i'd go below 195 or so, and then it just kept happening. probably spent 500 to 750 bucks on clothes at that stage. lasted me a month or less. 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Inching closer to pulling the trigger on a Peloton. I’ve heard you can get 0% financing for two or three years. I just need to rearrange some stuff at my place to make it work.

I complained a little about still not getting my nice chair I bought two+ months ago. Asked for them to just cancel the order and refund since I’m done working from home for the most part. They came back with a 15% price cut, which I mean, I really still want the chair, so... I said okay.

I was a little unimpressed with the few things I got from Banana Republic. Very expensive and the quality didn’t blow me away. I kept a really nice golf polo though. 

[Napa_Don 688]

Yeah, GAP and BR are definitely not worth the sticker price. The 40% sales are the only time I’d buy them. 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

This was with the 40% sale.  Gross. The Nordstrom stuff is just so much better. 

[Napa_Don 688]

Bummer. The Nordstrom house brand is pretty solid though. I have a couple dress shirts if theirs. 

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Essay, knowledge is power.  The more you know about a girl, then you can figure out what makes her tick, what she likes, how you can make sure she likes you. 
 

I can see why you’d be against this idea. You keep doing you.  

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Also, I’m never going to church at this stage of my life, for any hot P.  Zero urge.  (Sure would like to test this theory with a concrete quid pro quo offer from a large chested cutie).  But I would never be a regular attendee.  Nope, I’ll live alone.  If she goes to church, she’s probably got other crap going on that I don’t want in my life 
 

I did go occasionally with my first wife when I was 29-32yo, but she was a holiday church goer, Easter, Christmas.  
 

 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

32 minutes ago, Ron_Mexico said:

Also, I’m never going to church at this stage of my life, for any hot P.  Zero urge.  (Sure would like to test this theory with a concrete quid pro quo offer from a large chested cutie).  But I would never be a regular attendee.  Nope, I’ll live alone.  If she goes to church, she’s probably got other crap going on that I don’t want in my life 
 

I did go occasionally with my first wife when I was 29-32yo, but she was a holiday church goer, Easter, Christmas.  
 

 

You kind of live in a different area. Around here, the ones you want to be with, in the age range I’m looking, tend to be religious at a pretty high rate. I’m not talking hot girls, just girls that have their shit together, take care of themselves, could be trusted to raise a child.

It’s easy for me to say I would do it for the right girl. I don’t know that until I am really asked to do it.

The girl from the date on Thursday has pretty much ghosted me. I’m not overly sad about it, other than I’m going to catch shit from the girls that set us up. 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

58 minutes ago, Ron_Mexico said:

Essay, knowledge is power.  The more you know about a girl, then you can figure out what makes her tick, what she likes, how you can make sure she likes you. 
 

I can see why you’d be against this idea. You keep doing you.  

No joke, I have three conversations going currently with girls I’d definitely date. I’m going to have to grind it out for at least a week to get to that point. I’m okay with it, they’re all super nice. 

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

5 hours ago, InternetExplorer said:

No joke, I have three conversations going currently with girls I’d definitely date. I’m going to have to grind it out for at least a week to get to that point. I’m okay with it, they’re all super nice. 

Just keep them talking.  Most like to talk.  Just point them in the right direction of what you want to know and can use.  Just be funny and amuse them.  On their level.  PTA jokes likely aren’t gonna fly. 
 

beware of the one word answer and close ended phrasing girl.  That shit translates to real life.  We are how we text. It extrapolates out. 
 

case in point:  essay. 

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

5 hours ago, InternetExplorer said:

You kind of live in a different area. Around here, the ones you want to be with, in the age range I’m looking, tend to be religious at a pretty high rate. I’m not talking hot girls, just girls that have their shit together, take care of themselves, could be trusted to raise a child.

It’s easy for me to say I would do it for the right girl. I don’t know that until I am really asked to do it.

The girl from the date on Thursday has pretty much ghosted me. I’m not overly sad about it, other than I’m going to catch shit from the girls that set us up. 

Your approach just strikes me as way too analytical and has no feel to it, no heart.  Just let go.  That first paragraph, that is way too big to be assessing right now.  You come off like a robot that is assessing prey in order to find the right girl to procreate with 

 

find someone that is fun, that makes you smile, that makes your pants move, and play the rest by ear.  Who cares if your first impression is that she isn’t wife material.   Maybe your read is off, maybe you just need some relationship experience, maybe you just want to have some fun, and hey, what you do you know, you end up falling in love and she became an adult. 
 

I started dating a 40 year old for fun while I was 38, and while staying true to who I am, a child, she helped make me a better, more responsible person, that cares about having great credit, a 401k, saving over spending and having no debt. 
 

That wasn’t me at 25 or 35.  People change, people grow, and a good partner can help with that.  It isn’t all in you to find this perfect mate.  
 

just my ramblings:   I could be off.  (I’m not)

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I don’t really disagree with anything you wrote. I’m trying to stay open minded and light/fun.

One of the three referenced yesterday, a bit after I posted that comment, admits she lives with her parents at age 33. Says she’s not planning to go to school or anything, just trying to find a guy to support her. Complains that guys always try to meet up and bang so early in the conversation. I mean, at least she’s honest and up front, I guess.