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I Called In Sick Today


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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina and that's all there is to it.

 

Strat, just give it some time. You don't need to plan the rest of our life by end of day.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I can't bring myself to sit at a $25/hand table even though I end up playing that anyways. They had 1 table of $25 and 2 tables of $10 that were full as I was walking out.

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Our "big" music festival is this weekend. Nas and the decemeberists are the headliners. I did not purchase tickets. They have a bunch of free concerts and stuff going on around the area so I'm going to go check it out. A friend of mine is involved with this

 

http://www.news.iastate.edu/news/2016/07/06/80-35pavilion

 

So I'm going to go see him and whatever this is.

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On a smoke break at the tuf finale. Have Khalil, Cooper and Joanna in a parlay and cooper straight. Shouldn't have put copper in the parlay and put all my eggs in that damn fight. Dead even about overall between gambling, eating and drinking. Need a nice couple blackjack runs today and tomorrow to go him a big winner

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Ran into a guy I played poker with last night.

 

He was super drunk to the point where he got cut off by the poker room waitress and then kicked out, or so I'm told. I left before then.

 

But he was telling a story about how him and his roommate let an acquaintance of theirs, "a really fat dude who wears a fedora a lot" stay at their place for awhile. He moved out or they kicked him out or something. Fedora left some stuff at the house and asked if he could come get it and they were out of the town so they said sure. They came back and the house smelled like gas because Fedora turned the gas stove on hoping the house would burn down in an attempt to cover his tracks because he stole "Harvest Moon" for SNES. When poker guy next saw Fedora at the bar he beat the shit out of him and that's why he's awaiting trial on assault charges. Or something. He's also fighting a second DWI charge.

 

Anyways, I ran into that guy tonight at the festival.

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Incredibly accurate.

 

I was supposed to meet my old roommate and his girlfriend downtown. He texted me they were leaving and on their way so I was just hanging out at a free concert. It'd been about an hour and I hadn't heard anything. I saw I had a snapchat from a different friend (picture of her new baby. Ugly baby. Unfortunate) and while there I saw a snap story of my old roommate from minutes earlier from the concert I was at and I could tell o was literally 10 feet in front of him but by the time I noticed they were gone. I started getting really depressed about them blowing me off and I started walking to the other side of the festival and ended up running into them. He asked me why I didn't text him back. He showed me his phone where he sent me a text saying they were there. I never got it. Whoops.

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Never bet on women, never know if they raggin or not

 

You know I've never had an interaction with a woman I attributed to aunt flow. Now it's a small sample overall but I've often thought that whole thing was overblown.

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Yeah I spent the majority of the day on the couch but I was going stir crazy so I went grocery shopping. Flipped my casino coin and got tails 2 out of 3 so I guess I'm casino'ing. Hopefully I'll actually play well for once. BBJ is over $120k. Feels irresponsible to not play.

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Saw the (black) guy next to me pull out some gum earlier and so I offered him $1 for a stick and he goes "nah, man, you're good...let me know if you need more" and the dealer goes "smells like watermelon? Is it watermelon?" And the black guy goes "why do you think that" and it got uncomfortable for a bit.

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Saw the (black) guy next to me pull out some gum earlier and so I offered him $1 for a stick and he goes "nah, man, you're good...let me know if you need more" and the dealer goes "smells like watermelon? Is it watermelon?" And the black guy goes "why do you think that" and it got uncomfortable for a bit.

 

Well it's no hood pass but free gum is still cool too.

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