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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I have 370hp and I use all of them. Sometimes i'm very conscious of being the guy in the Orange car making moves, but I see driving like a video game. I look for the smart moves and scan the landscape for danger. I'm pretty good at it. I'm not a maniac or anything, but I will be aggressive before passive.

 

But I never do pointedly dick moves. I merge very early at all times, even though I LOATHE aholes that speed all they way up to the front of the closing lane and try to squeeze in. I don't do stuff like that.

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See, if people were more aware and cooperative they would realize that zipper merging is much more efficient and would eliminate people like you having to merge super early needlessly congesting the lane making it more attractive for people to zoom up and try to cut in at the last moment causing a ripple effect of braking which just exacerbates the problem because Brvy forbid somebody gets to turn right before you because your time is so much more valuable than anybody else's.

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I'm sure they've been flipped off and honked at millions, if not thousands, of times but they're to oblivious to realize it.

 

Unlike us, who have perfect situational awareness.

 

Child please.

 

Essay is probably in the fast lane doing the exact speed limit, never more. You both probably always defer to others, even to the detriment of other drivers.

 

You don't know where I been or what I drive through. SoFL is a war zone of every third world Latin American driver in the world, not to mention Haitians, which are the stone cold worst. If I was half the driver I was five years ago, I would take a FLAME THROWER to you two

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See, if people were more aware and cooperative they would realize that zipper merging is much more efficient and would eliminate people like you having to merge super early needlessly congesting the lane making it more attractive for people to zoom up and try to cut in at the last moment causing a ripple effect of braking which just exacerbates the problem because Brvy forbid somebody gets to turn right before you because your time is so much more valuable than anybody else's.

 

Now we're gonna fight, munchkin. I'm very courteous. I will always wave someone to go at a 4way stop or something similar. I just like making moves when I drive, but I'm not dangerous. (That's right, Iceman, I am dangerous) I'm like a computer out there.

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I absolutely do not automatically defer to others to the detriment of other drivers. I'm out there making moves while not being a dick to other drivers unless they deserve it. Passing people on the right because they're going to slow in the fast lane and then hitting them with windshield wiper fluid is my jam. I have outstanding reflexes and put them to use every day. I'm a great driver and am constantly scanning ahead, behind, and my blind spots for potential situations.

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Christ, waving people through a 4 way when you have the right of way is the worst. Especially if you get in "wave through" pissing matches with someone. If everyone was as aware as I am there would be no question as to has the right of way because you know exactly who got to the intersection in what order and/or are able to determine right from left instantly and we would all inderstand these rules and there would be no time wasted for anybody.

 

Edit: an earlier draft of this post accidentally refered to a poster by name when it was simply a typo and just coincidence a poster shares the first five letters of the word I meant to type. NDT apologizes for this error.

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The Isle only has poker, correct? Or do they offer other games?

Harness racing, remote horse racing, slots, and some other electronic games.

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I will grant Ronny that SoFl driving is crazy. Having just seen that highway situation in amazed there aren't double digit fatalities daily. But the rest of his contentions are patently false, latenly ridiculous and quite frankly seriously unacceptable.

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Harness racing, remote horse racing, slots, and some other electronic games.

 

Yep, figured. I remember when the card rooms went Wild West for a bit and offered BJ and 3 card poker, but that didn't last long.

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I will grant Ronny that SoFl driving is crazy. Having just seen that highway situation in amazed there aren't double digit fatalities daily. But the rest of his contentions are patently false, latenly ridiculous and quite frankly seriously unacceptable.

 

Nicely done. You see a Jackie Chiles episode this weekend?

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You are right Napster, the waving pissing contest is the worst, and a lol'd at the wiper fluid spray. That shit will get you shot by a crazy here in FL. I like it though. Makes me want to soup up my sprayer. Thanks for the reminder, I need wiper blades

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Euphemism or no?

 

Not a euphemism. Our company provides fruit Monday's and Wednesday's and my cube row has a loose affiliation amongst ourselves called the "banana brigade" where whoever is first into the breakroom on M/W grabs enough bananas for everybody. Today that was me and as I reached the end of the row our CFO was talking to my coworker and I had extra so I offered him one.

 

He laughed and declined.

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Oh, I'm definitely going to die in a road rage related incident. No doubt. And you'd be surprised how far fluid will travel when you're going 80 on the interstate. I think it's a nice compromise of letting someone know they're being a shitty driver while not being near as dangerous as brake checking someone at 80 mph.

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Nicely done. You see a Jackie Chiles episode this weekend?

 

Thanks Ron. But no, didn't see that episode this weekend. It's probably such a part of my psyche I used it without even realizing.

 

I did watch THE JUDGE with Robert Downey Jr. this weekend. What a good movie. Made me wish I was a trial lawyer. Pulled at the heart strings too.

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Yeah, that movie was ok. Rob Lowe was great in it.

 

 

This weekend, we watched The Martian, Ex Machina and that last Christmas movie with Seth Rogan, JGL and the black guy (Anthony Mackie, but "the black guy" is funnier)

 

In order, good, decent, meh. The comedy was way too druggy for me. They made it for stoned people, it seems.

 

Here is a win, I called up and turned HBO, and they gave me all the other pay movie channels for $10 extra, for 3 months. I asked about the Playboy channels, and they gave it to me for free for 3 months. Yippee. Gonna be a busy quarter of wanking

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