I Called In Sick Today

[CobaltBlue 662]

Bought more individual items at Lowe's today than I ever recall before. I actually only went for 3 items, but ended up getting...

 

Super glue, caulk, caulk gun, all-purpose outdoor foam sealer, nails, 7-1 painter's tool, painter's crowbar, batteries, silicone WD-40, sand paper, goo gone, pivot ball kit (for sink drain plug)

 

Super glue is to fix my keyboard (musical) - one of the keys snapped. I hate handling the stuff and mulled for a very long time on which one to get.

 

Pivot ball is to fix the plug thing that rusted through.

 

Batteries were to fix my daughter's toy...but they didn't work. So I guess it's randomly defective. Going to call the company tomorrow.

 

Silicone WD-40 was recommended for our accordion hurricane shutters.

 

Goo gone to get some sticker junk off a garbage can.

 

The rest of the stuff is to attempt to fix the issue in my daughter's room where there seems to be a leak near the window in preparation for the potential storm. Like, it doesn't ever appear that there's actual water in the window, and I haven't examined it closely from the outside, but water has to be getting into the wall there because the wood floor is "bubbling"/warping near it. The baseboard is also separating from the wall. Additionally, there have been a bunch of tiny little ants along there. I've never really done a project like this, so it has me a little concerned. I watched a video on getting the baseboard off cleanly, and I'm not too worried about that part. I think I can also likely seal everything. What I'm concerned about is getting the baseboard back on. I saw most people recommend a nail gun, but I couldn't justify getting one for just this one thing. I also didn't get wood filler or paint, so it may not look entirely pretty when it's done.

 

Oh, and I couldn't pull the trigger on the drill. I can't decide if I need one of the kits with both a drill and impact driver. I also felt like I could probably get a better deal online.

[AmScray 355]

I bought this Miller plasma cutter off Craigslist for $200.

 

 

Its been very lightly used. This is what they sell for.

 

http://www.weldingsu...FdgLgQodf9cGeQ#

 

Apparently the 16-21 year old Hispanic gentleman selling it decided he didn't want the "welding muh-cheene that his grandmother got him for his birthday".

[Napa Lite 3,278]

What a shitty grandson.

 

That makes me think of Florence Henderson. But if that's what you're going for...

 

I bet you had a problem with Randall Raines calling his '67 Mustang Elenanor, too.

[brvheart 1,752]

Scram, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news. But I think that thing may have been stolen. You might want to report it to the police.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I need a new series to watch. Any suggestions?

 

Really enjoying Fargo right now

Just knocked out HBO's The Brink

White Collar

Ray Donovan, although someone said this season is meh

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

 

Your whiskey dick lingers in your blood stream, and good for you fighting meh storytelling. Can we get an update on lesbian #2? You should be able to find her with some FB stalking.

 

I can't remember her name but she's a family friend of my best buddy's sister, so it shouldn't be that hard (heh)

 

The actual story, which I typed out in detail after it happened, was funnier, because of her father making a comment. Wonder if I can find it. If so, I'll spoiler it for you

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I need Frau to sign off on "Florence" before I officially decide. Keep in mind my bike is burgundy/red and made in '82.

 

Just listen to her purr

 

https://vid.me/kFHG

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

Florence, the Machine

 

a little on the nose i think. maybe something like Betty. what are you doing this weekend? me? i'm gonna ride betty. hard.

 

i like that.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

For Frau only. The rest of you probably read this. Plus, I did not use my usual poetic flare

 

 

 

So yeah, as some of you that actually read my posts may have seen, I went to Tampa (St Petersburg, but its only 20 minutes away and it's easier to type Tampa) for my best friend's sister's wedding this weekend. His wife didn't want to go and I figured we could do some drinking and have some fun on the west coast of FL. We leave Friday morning and take the 4 hour drive, get there, get a cooler and an 18pk of beer for starters. Check the surroundings, start drinking, then make our way down to a Tiki bar on the deck of the hotel looking over the Gulf. I have a couple of Daquiri's and a nice chicken sandwich. Delightful.

 

So, he has to partake in the rehearsal, I sit there and drink, listening to some Asian looking dude playing the guitar, working his way through the Eagles catalog. Afterwards, there was a rehearsal dinner, on the deck, all the free beer I could drink. And boy did I drink. What was better was the guy I was sitting next to had his daughter there, and she was laughing at all my jokes, etc. So, when people laugh at my jokes, what do I do? Tell more. I was keeping it relatively clean because I had the bride at my table and I got a bit of a religious vibe from the dad, mom and daughter. Turns out, she just turned 15. Woops. I was pulling for college freshman, but to no avail. Oh well, moving along.

 

My buddy likes to play bad cop to my good cop. He's more of the dry humor and silent type where I'm more the "look at me" sense of humor. So I'm doing my routine, commenting and wise cracking about everything and people would laugh, and he'd come back with the comment "That gets a laugh?" in disgust. It's a pretty amusing dynamic. So, after that party breaks up, we take a cab to a local bar and continue drinking. For some reason, I order us two rounds of Jaeger Bombs. Ughh. Actually, I know the reason. We kept saying "Jaegah Bahmbs" all weekend, copying the guy doing a Boston thing from YouTube. It's amusing. Ok, maybe no, be we got a kick out of it. Finally, we get back to the room at 2am'ish after drinking for about 6 hours or so.

 

Not to backtrack, but I left out something rather important. Bridesmaids. Nothing too promising from what I can see. One or two cute girls, but as I'm introduced to them, one is married and her sister is a lesbian. Yes, full fledged 25 year old lesbian with a live in girlfriend. Too bad because she was cute. Besides a witty comment or two, I don't talk to many besides my buddy and his 60 year old aunt and the guy at my table with the daughter.

 

Moving on to Saturday, we get up at 10am, decide to hit the beach. Water is too cold to go into, so we hit the pool after a bit of laying on the beach. Then, after an hour at the pool, it's tiki bar time. We're drinking by 11:30, frozen drinks all around. We have some lunch and drinks, head to the room, watch some football, realize that we are out of beer. I go get another 12pk. We start that up around 3pm. Now, we have to drink that fast b/c the wedding starts at 4:30pm. We drink most of em up and a few more when we go to the groom's room where they have more beer. Now, they go down and start the ceremony while I'm talking to some british concierce that we were bothering the night before. He ended up loving me, obviously. Maybe b/c I kept calling him a wanker and a tosser.

 

Anyway, ceremony, blah blah blah. Now it's cocktail hour. I start with the Jack and Ginger and immediately switch up to Vodka and sprite. Now, I turn it into overdrive. I don't really drink that slow so I take in a good amount. For the record, the whole drinking history I'm giving will come into play in this story, sadly. I'm drinking so much that I decided to take my sunglasses back to my room so I don't lose them after the sun went down. I took a drink up to drink in the elevator, and finished it, then grabbed a beer for the ride back down until I made it to the bar again. I may have a problem. So, dinner is served, I have a little beef and chicken. I thought you'd be wondering. So, the bar is on the deck and after the meal, I spend the majority of my time out there. I don't remember dancing to one song or anything. Then, I meet some Ben Stiller lookalike who was killing me with his ability to quote movies better than I, which very rarely happens. Him and his girl kept me entertained for quite a while. Eventually, they closed the bar and we took the party to the hotel bar and a few of us were drinking over there. So, the groom's brother and the lesbo come by, and I order them each one of the shots that I'm ordering for my and my buddy and Ben Stiller. They of course do it and we all start to wonder what's going on after. There is a dive bar across the street so we all go up to my room, grab a beer, then walk over to the bar. It never really dawned on us that walking into a bar with beers was inappropriate. Oh well, we pounded them and ordered new ones from the bartender. There were dart boards and the lesbo challenged me to a game, or maybe I challenged her. I can't remember. Either way. So, I ask her is she wants to bet. My proposition was I get to kiss her and see if I can have an effect on her. She declines. Dike, whatever. So, it's a back and forth battle and of course I win. At this point, my buddy takes off, his usual move when he hits the wall. The grooms brother is intrigued by the whole lesbo thing and wants to take her to a strip club. Personally, I think its an amatuer move.

 

So, we get a cab and hit THE most disgusting tit bar in all of St Pete. 4 dancers, not one of them bangable. And they wear pasties, and the chubby brunette that danced from we just wasn't "sexy". So, I get the lesbo a dance and her response is just as lukewarm as mine. It's around 1:30am or so so we call for a cab to come get us. As we're waiting outside for the cab, the lesbo and I get into some discussion about why those girls weren't sexy and how easy it is to get a girls "number" or into her head. So, I decide to show her, and say that if I was trying to turn her on, here is what I would do. She played along. I lean her up against the wall, brush her hair back behind her ears, lightly drag my fingers down her cheeks, do the same on her arms, then back up the inside of her forearms, then lean in and give her the softest little kiss on the neck. I lean back and say "so, how was that" and she just shrugged and said, "It was ok" in a "not a big deal" kind of way. I reeled a bit, but recovered.

 

So, the cab gets there, and the grooms brother is passed out in the backseat with me and she's in the front. So, being playful, about every 3 minutes, I kept leaning up and saying "so, that did nothing for you?" and she'd say "not really". Now, being the egomaniac I am, I refused to believe her. So, we get back to the hotel and decide to go to the groom's brother's room, where the beer is. We go in, he lays on the bed and all but passes out. She and I crack a beer and before long, he starts heading to the bathroom and puking. We leave him and my room was 3 doors down. We grab the cooler and some beers. We get to my room, where my roomie is sleeping and I try my card key exactly 114 times. It never worked. Finally, she says, lets just go to my room. She was on the 5th floor, I was on the 6th. Ok, let's go.

 

We get to her room, she closes the adjoining door to her parents room (their side was closed) and I crack a beer and sit in the chair. Two minutes later, she gets off the bed and straddles my lap and says, "so, we can maybe call each other when we get back to West Palm (she lives near me) or we can just **** right now." Needless to say, I was a little stunned. I stammer for a bit and say something along the lines of "As nice as option one sounds, I think I'm gonna go with option 2".

 

So we start kissing for a bit, make our way to the bed, I'm doing what it is I do, then I go for the neck. She stops for a sec and says "don't leave any marks" and I pull back and say, for some odd reason "What am I, a friggin amateur?" then continue what I was doing. After about 5 minutes, it hits me and I stop what I was doing and say "See, I knew I had you when I seduced you before" and she agreed. I knew I was the man. Anyway, I make my way south, lift up the bridesmaid gown, no panties. Nice. Start with...well, you know. she lays me on my back, hops right into 69. I guess old habits die hard. At some point, she mentions that it was her first dick in 4 1/2 years. Nice. So, I'm still on my back, she's on top of me and asks if I have a condom. Of course I do, but she doesn't let me up. She backs up on it and puts me in her and starts to ride a bit. It feels nice but I have to do the right thing. I get up and get the condom, put it on, she gets back on top for about a minute and a half. That was the last minute that my dick was even close to being hard. The delay of getting the rubber on and the huge amounts of booze finally came back to bite me in the ass. I couldn't get it back and finally I just gave up. This poor girl. Nevermind my oral didn't get her off, nor the fingerbangin, and I had putty ****, whiskey dick. Gummy worm style. She ain't never trying dick again. I ruined it for everyone. Oh well. I left, she said that we both drank and it happens. She was cool, and ultimately, I wasn't that pissed, but I was a little. Life goes on.

 

Next morning, me and my boy are taking the elevator down to check out, and when it opens in the lobby, there is her dad. He doesn't say a word to either of us. Weird. So, we're milling about in the lobby and he comes up to ask my buddy and I if we want our cooler back. We said no, then when he walked away, we wondered how in the hell he knew it was our cooler. He was never in our room, and I brought that thing to her room at 2:30am. Uh oh. It also dawned on me that I left my condom wrapper on the table and when I gave up, I ripped the condom off and just threw it in the air. Hey, the way I look at it, he should be happy I tried to bring her back. No number exchange, although I think she has mine. The whole ride back, about every 5 miles, my buddy would grunt "You guys want your cooler back?" Well, that and Jaeger bombs. Good weekend, I never want to drink again. Sorry if this was boring.

 

 

 

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Napa, I like Florence. And you can go with "the flo"

 

 

[Theraflu 1,035]

Is this a good deal on a dremel?

 

I don't think I need a dremel though.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Dremel-8220-1-28-12-Volt-Cordless/dp/B008DRY5AI/ref=sr_1_1?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1440599880&sr=1-1&keywords=dremel+8220

[Napa Lite 3,278]

It's the lowest price that amazons ever had for that model. High of $120.

[The Ocho 970]

In my experience dremels are pieces of shit. I've had two and both motors have burned up. That being said they are very handy for small jobs that need precision. It's a decent price. Attachments are expensive and do not last.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I didn't even realize Thera was Jewish

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Napa, I like Florence. And you can go with "the flo"

 

My only concern is people thinking I mean "Flo" from the terrible commercials.

[Tiltinagain 973]

They will definitely think that.

 

I enjoyed that story again Ron. Curious if she was good at oral? I had forgotten about her dad at the end of the story. Hilarious.

[Essay21 2,385]

I withdraw Betty, you cant use it.

 

Flo is not a good name for a bike.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

They will definitely think that.

 

I enjoyed that story again Ron. Curious if she was good at oral? I had forgotten about her dad at the end of the story. Hilarious.

 

I think you'll agree with me here tilt, if a girl makes the kind gesture of putting my P in her mouth and doesn't scuff it all up with jagged teeth, it's pretty much a win. But yeah, from what I remember, it was like riding a bike for her, she did alright. No complaints from my drunk self

 

Man, that was a fun night. Still mad my key card didn't work. Probably could've got interesting with my roomie right there. Then again, he was clearly passed out. Dick

 

Did I mention that the next morning, when I was showering, he texted most all of my contacts "I slept with a lesbian last night"

[Tiltinagain 973]

What are friends for?

[Essay21 2,385]

I wouldnt know.

 

Gonna activate my old iphone 5s. This galaxy is a lemon, and the screen keeps flickering and sometimes wont turn on. I figure i can go back to the 5s for a month before i get the 6s.

[AmScray 355]

In my experience dremels are pieces of shit. I've had two and both motors have burned up. That being said they are very handy for small jobs that need precision. It's a decent price. Attachments are expensive and do not last.

 

They are irreplaceable and if you keep burning them up, you're over-using them on heavy jobs.

Attachments are CHEAP if you're smart enough to realize you can buy them for $5 a piece in "Dremel" packages at Home Depot or huge sets of them for $15 or $20 total from the import sources that literally come from the same places.

 

Far and away the most indispensable tool I ever use for fine work is the Dremel. I've had one for well over 10 years and another I bought 'broken' for the attachments and it wound up being a dirty switch on the unit that has been going strong for about 5.

 

Have one for grunt work and another for flex shaft work.

[AmScray 355]

Scram, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news. But I think that thing may have been stolen. You might want to report it to the police.

 

I live in a city where home burglaries are instructed to call the non-emergency number and might get dispatch days later (but about half the time, nothing)

 

You try calling the CPD about a stolen plasma cutter. Care to wager if anyone cares?

[AmScray 355]

Those reporters must've really pissed that guy off.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Shit, now I want a dremel.

 

I've been throwing around an idea for a kitchen knife holder using bent wood. Not that that has anything to do with a dremel.

[Essay21 2,385]

Whiteys who try to use Spanish with the chipotle workers should br sterilized. This kind of person is no good for society.