SuperJon 175 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 So I turned 30 last week, and I weighed myself on the scale at home. 235 pounds (I'm about 5'6"), and it was really depressing to me. Knowing that I've spent the first 1/4 of my life being such a fat ass. It was a real wake up call to me, and so I took it upon myself to really go after getting in shape. Since Monday I have had a diet consisting of 75% veggies, 15% meat/fish/poultry, and a 10% combination of fruits and nuts. No processed foods and no grains. Down 6 pounds, but I know the first bit of weight I lose is going to be a lot of water weight. I am confident that if I maintain this dietary lifestyle with a combination of exercise that I can get to my goal weight of 160 by my 31st birthday. After which I plan on writing a self help/inspriational book for all the other fat asses in the world. I think it'll talk about the issues I had being so overweight. How all the kids would pick on me, and try to ti&&ty f&*# me on the playground. It'll be a bestseller, and I'll be one of those rich guys with a six pack. But seriously, I want to do this for two main reasons 1. Become healthier 2. Look good Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 way to go man. good luck with all the losing of the fat. i'm not sure if i'd throw the playground titty fvcking into the book though. save that for the movie. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 you and shake should hang out Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 "what'd you do yesterday?" "short person stuff. you?" "same " 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 i'm a little nervous to be honest. if my penis fails me today, he and i will have to part ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 When did life expectancy increase to 120 years old? Hi. My name is Tilty and I wear cargo shorts. You got this SA. The girl is into you. Now you have to keep your brain under control so you can get into her. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 well if you pm'd me your address i would've sent you a blue bomb. it's like you want to fail so you can finally starting sucking those sweet, sweet dicks. anywho, it's amazingly easy to get. found at least one site that has "referring physicians" so they will write the script for the site to send you the meds. you can get all kinds of shit that way if you know what answers to supply for the medical questionnaire. seriously what did degenerates do before the internet? Link to post Share on other sites
mrfritz 885 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Ditto on the cargo shorts. Plenty of space to hold my otter boxed iPhone in. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I'm short, I wear cargo shorts, and I have sex twice a day on average. stick that in your pipe and shove it up your ass. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 The sex will slow down. Age will make you fatter, you'll be short, and you, forever 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Essay, tell her that you don't want to wear condoms. You're dick still has the price tag on it. Tell her she's safe As for her having something, who cares? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 In my experience young women get incredibly aroused when I tell them I'm going to "fill them full of babies." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Just promise to pull out. That always works. Can't decide what to do with my 4 wheeler. I haven't used it since we moved here but I really like the bike and don't want to get rid of it because....maybe someday I'll use it again. Just pulled it out, washed it, checked all the fluids, aired up the tires and rode it around the block a couple of times and it reminded me how much I like the thing. Thought about just hanging onto it "just in case". Thought about taking it up to my in laws since they have 70 acres of property and my father in law could use it. Thought about selling it. Just don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 if only you were in mississippi. i never enjoyed quads as much as three wheelers. also prefer the old school standing jet skis over the new fangled water bike thingies. do they still make the standing ones? Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I think only pro riders and stunt trick riders use the stand up ones. I can't say I've ever ridden a quad or a three wheeler. The 3 wheel ATV always seemed super dangerous. Tilt, can I borrow it for a couple of weeks? My two experiences on wave runners was fun as all get out. Oddly, our close friends have two and we never go out. No urge to use in Central FL lakes. Chock full o gators. I'd feel safer in the ocean, although there are a ton of shark bites up here. Shark bite capital of the world. That's our closest beach. Plus, when the water is like glass, it's fun. I'm too large to be jumping waves in the ocean. I devised a meal and workout plan that the wife and I are starting Monday. I'm cooking a bunch of healthy food tomorrow, portioning it out and calculating the calories. We will only be eating what I make, fresh fruit and a protein bar here or there. It will be strict and regimented. Also planning on an hour morning workout and 90 minutes in the evening. Should be good. Looking forward to it. I find dieting is easier if you can just grab and go with the food. We shall see. Also gonna keep a food and workout log 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,609 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 asking me to do something you can and have done a bunch of times previously, because you would rather cut out at noon on Friday to go golfing, doesn't go over better if you preface it with "I really couldn't get this done without your expertise." I actually find that more irritating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 asking me to do something you can and have done a bunch of times previously, because you would rather cut out at noon on Friday to go golfing, doesn't go over better if you preface it with "I really couldn't get this done without your expertise." I actually find that more irritating. i absolutely loathe that kind of false praise. what it says to me is "I don't think you're intelligent or perceptive enough to realize that I'm flattering you. NOW DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,752 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Reason #300 I would never make it in the corporate world. I would just laugh in the face of a boss that told me that, and then follow it up with, "You don't need to lie to me to get me to do your work. I have no problem doing it if you just tell me the truth. Have fun golfing." Link to post Share on other sites
Iphonenkinder 558 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Okay. My coworker is talking about her blind date coffee date tomorrow morning. It goes Coffee Church Church school She's teaching church school for 8 hours--so I asked, "8 hours for church school? Are they retarded?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 if only you were in mississippi. i never enjoyed quads as much as three wheelers. also prefer the old school standing jet skis over the new fangled water bike thingies. do they still make the standing ones? Dick. I never road a 3 wheeler I don't think. The 4 wheeler is really fun. Especially in mud or snow/icy conditions. I never road a stand up jet ski either but road a wave runner a lot. The wave runners were a tun of fun but I wish I had the opportunity to try the stand up kind. Have any of you water skied? That was fun, as were knee boards. Okay. My coworker is talking about her blind date coffee date tomorrow morning. It goes Coffee Church Church school She's teaching church school for 8 hours--so I asked, "8 hours for church school? Are they retarded?" Really. That sounds like just about the worst way I can think of to spend 8 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 973 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Oh yeah, went and played poker (couldn't get anything going and had a small loss) and was looking forward to coming home and reading SA's trip report. Is no news good news or nah? Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Link to post Share on other sites
Napa_Don 688 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 BRUH I've checked on my computer and phone and the picture isn't loading. I assume it's Johnny Drama victory!?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,823 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 is it a metaphor that your dick is still broke? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 it's a classic victory cigar photo featuring the most legendary legend of all time, adam brody. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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