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I Called In Sick Today


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I know I say it all the time, but low key Uncle Randy is one of my favorite posters.

 

Lost $50 on the Heat losing on a bet I made to appease my boss. Oh, well.

 

Had a calm weekend. Went out and had a few drinks Friday night. Haircut Saturday morning. Hit a few golfballs Saturday. Went to the casino Saturday night with some old work friends. Made exactly $0. Lost like $70 in craps right away. Then made like $120 playing blackjack. And then lost $40 playing blackjack switch. I know those numbers aren't exact but I bought in for $200 and cashed out exactly two black chips. The dealer did compliment my watch though.

 

Yesterday I went through old files and organized some things and threw out others. Met up with my siblings and father for dinner.

 

Friday an old friend from college called and asked if he could stay at my place Saturday for our friends wedding. I agreed thinking my roommate would be home and I wouldn't have the place to myself anyways (BC is going as my date and we'll probably end up back at my place). Immediately afterwards my roommate tells me he's going to be out of town and so I would be home alone and not that my chances of going to Pound Town are more than >5%, it'd be nice to not have my friend there. Thinking about buying him a hotel room as consolation.

But most importantly my flip hole is out for delivery today!!! I might just go home over noon and try it out if it's delivered by then.

 

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Wait, a flip hole isn't when you turn her around for doggy?

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just ordered the white one myself. first time I've opted for overnight delivery from amazon. I'm off till thursday. I'm not waiting for two day shipping with that kind of free time.

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Hilarious.

 

 

What if Dutch is just a crazy person that is trolling you all with the flip hole?

 

 

What's wrong with the hand? C'mon man.

 

Awesome that you guys bought one thought. Too funny

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I don't know what your hands are made out of but mine don't feel much like a vagina at all

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Crock pot meatballs. I prefer to make my meatballs from scratch but I can see why you wouldn't. I'm a weirdo like that.

 

Meatballs

 

Mix them with one bottle of Heinz chili sauce and one bottle of currant jelly. Some use grape but it think that makes it a hair too sweet.

 

Combine those two over a crock pot full of meatballs, bring some toothpicks, maybe a loaf of bread. BOOM. Easy, and tasty and fck

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Hilarious.  

 

 

What if Dutch is just a crazy person that is trolling you all with the flip hole?  

 

 

What's wrong with the hand?  C'mon man.  

 

Awesome that you guys bought one thought.  Too funny

 

If?Napa, maybe a good breakfast casserole? Easy to put together and easy to reheat in the microwave.Such as this,http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Ultimate-Breakfast-Casserole/Detail.aspx?evt19=1

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I have no idea what's going on with my posting (in)ability. I'm thinking maybe something changed with firefox? It won't let me quote or quick reply and the formatting sucks when I use the full reply option.

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Crock pot meatballs. I prefer to make my meatballs from scratch but I can see why you wouldn't. I'm a weirdo like that.

 

Meatballs

 

Mix them with one bottle of Heinz chili sauce and one bottle of currant jelly. Some use grape but it think that makes it a hair too sweet.

 

Combine those two over a crock pot full of meatballs, bring some toothpicks, maybe a loaf of bread. BOOM. Easy, and tasty and fck

 

Dumb question: what kind(s) of meat are you using for those 'balls?

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I don't know what your hands are made out of but mine don't feel much like a vagina at all

 

The flip hole doesn't feel like a vagina at all. Fleshlight offers models that are supposed to simulate vaginas, anuses, mouths/throats. Not sure if they do so accurately or not, and I'm not sure why I'd want them to do so.

 

Human genitals have failed us. Science has brought us materials and shapes and suction control beyond the abilities of what god herself gave us. You ever try an app where like the clock is analog, a calendar makes you switch pages between months or weeks, or a file system has to look like a physical bookshelf or something? There is no reason to put false limitations on a new technology just because we fear the pleasure it might bring.

 

Let's face it, vaginas feel like trash. You know it, I know it...gay people figured it out years ago. I mean, the Flip Hole has a button that works as a donkey punch, but where no one gets hurt. At least I hope no one gets hurt. I haven't tried applying maximum pressure.

 

Sex acts are fun with other people, and preferable overall IMO, but as far as what hole physically feels better on your dick...vaginas are kind of old school.

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Dumb question: what kind(s) of meat are you using for those 'balls?

 

Traditional balls are one part beef, one part ground pork and one part veal, but I won't do veal so I'll just do 3/5 beef, 2/5 pork.

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Traditional balls are one part beef, one part ground pork and one part veal, but I won't do veal so I'll just do 3/5 beef, 2/5 pork.

 

That's the exact situation in the Sklansky household as well, oddly (not sure of those exact ratios, though). My friend is about to give me 30lb of wild hog meat, and I'm wondering if it needs to find its way into some 'balls.

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The flip hole doesn't feel like a vagina at all. Fleshlight offers models that are supposed to simulate vaginas, anuses, mouths/throats. Not sure if they do so accurately or not, and I'm not sure why I'd want them to do so.

 

Human genitals have failed us. Science has brought us materials and shapes and suction control beyond the abilities of what god herself gave us. You ever try an app where like the clock is analog, a calendar makes you switch pages between months or weeks, or a file system has to look like a physical bookshelf or something? There is no reason to put false limitations on a new technology just because we fear the pleasure it might bring.

 

Let's face it, vaginas feel like trash. You know it, I know it...gay people figured it out years ago. I mean, the Flip Hole has a button that works as a donkey punch, but where no one gets hurt. At least I hope no one gets hurt. I haven't tried applying maximum pressure.

 

Sex acts are fun with other people, and preferable overall IMO, but as far as what hole physically feels better on your dick...vaginas are kind of old school.

 

Dude

 

i wish i could dispute this, but really i have no idea.

 

Neither, apparently, does he. Totally lost me with that post. Maybe he's just been so desensitized with all his role playing and freaky shit? Sad really.

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Oh. Apparently my posting issue was something to do with Firefox because my new, non apple, tablet has no problem at all.

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I'm not even kidding when I respond with basically the same thing you said as a joke, which is that anyone who has claimed to have tried both and prefer a vagina is lying about something.

 

I mean, granted, the last vagina you've have has seen several sets of shoulders pass through it, so maybe it does all sorts of weird shit that a normal one doesn't, but I'm still calling bullshit.

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