I Called In Sick Today

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Yeah this was a friend of a friend. She said we should meet up before she leaves. I kinda knew her from college. She put up on Facebook a few pictures of us from my friends wedding earlier this year, so I wouldn't think she's entirely disgusted by the thought of me.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

Can't divide by zero though.

 

I logged in to demonstrate what this meant graphically before you posted this, but it seems like the most interesting way to plot this would be in 3 dimensions, and the (effort/fun) ratio is off the charts in situations where someone else already made the joke I'm working on.

[The Machine 210]

Sorry.

 

I actually fired up a spreadsheet to make the joke and after entering the names (Napa, IE, Essay, Shake, and Ron, if anyone is wondering) decided that it wasn't worth the hassle.

 

There was a time when I would've made the effort, but it is not this day. This day we slack!

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Dreary bagel birthday breakfast? You were turning 30? 40? You were simply eating a dreary bagel and my reading comprehension is bad?

[The Machine 210]

I read it as having a bagel for your birthday breakfast is dreary in and of itself.

[ShakeZuma 585]

but wait, was it blueberry??

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

A perfectly toasted rye bagel with butter is the tits. Where my Jews at? Cane? A little support here?

[CaneBrain 95]

A perfectly toasted rye bagel with butter is the tits. Where my Jews at? Cane? A little support here?

 

I'm a sesame seed bagel guy but your main point stands.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

You would if you knew how to search the database.

 

jesus christ man, have you no respect for the protocol? you never mention the database. never!

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

well, I can't search the database, because I'm an hourly employee and they don't let me use OT to be better at my job. so we are at an impasse here.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

strat i'll work on your security clearance. the council will need to vote on it later.

[The Machine 210]

He can have my chair.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

if he makes jacob's list then who are we to argue?

[frautotenkinder 1,025]

No, I got busy at the christmas party last night and next thing I knew it was like 9:30 and I didn't want to send it that late. I'm a failure.

 

9:30 is not too late for a friendly back and forth. Texting after 11:00 is either drunk, drunk and sexy, or pathetic.

I have been perma-tilting since I sent that bridge-burning text to Amanda.

 

Does it count as perma-tilting if it only occurs within your mind? I'm really asking, if yes, I'm effed.

Yeah this was a friend of a friend. She said we should meet up before she leaves. I kinda knew her from college. She put up on Facebook a few pictures of us from my friends wedding earlier this year, so I wouldn't think she's entirely disgusted by the thought of me.

 

Napa, text her. After your done texting her make an excuse to see her. When you see her manufacture a reason to be in a room with a bed in it.

Dreary bagel birthday breakfast? You were turning 30? 40? You were simply eating a dreary bagel and my reading comprehension is bad?

I read it as having a bagel for your birthday breakfast is dreary in and of itself.

 

The Machine gets me. Office celebrations are just terrible.

A perfectly toasted rye bagel with butter is the tits. Where my Jews at? Cane? A little support here?

 

Poppyseed with a modicum of cream cheese. Good food is about proportions, I don't like too much cream cheese.

[Napa_Don 688]

I did text her again...no response, again. I basically used Mexi's script. I'm now downloading a bunch of books about Theodore Roosevelt to read while I get drunk with my roommate tonight while he admonishes for some of my recent decisions. So much for not drinking out of boredom.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Good,luck nappy. I feel we gotta draw the line at 3 unanswered texts.

 

Frau, should we start our text romance now, in the New Year or right before the VM premier? Just wondering

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I'm calling it at two. Tonight/tomorrow night are only options since I'll be out of town the weekend for the holidays.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Does it count as perma-tilting if it only occurs within your mind? I'm really asking, if yes, I'm effed.

how do you know it's only in your mind? I try very hard not to express it or talk to anyone when it's going on, but I know that I won't be able to hold back if someone's going out of their way to needle me. I definitely wear it on my face in the mornings. I'm just an emotionally unstable wreck right now, what's your excuse?

 

today was incredibly slow due to most of our work still being off for the holidays. I had been spite-holding back on a bunch of ideas. I kind of impromptu unloaded them on a like-minded officer, asked him where he thought the priority should be. he just kind of stares at me for a second, says, "that's a pretty good wishlist you have there."

[Tiltinagain 973]

Sorry Napa/Strat. Girls are awful. Frau excepted of course.

 

I have never liked rye bread. I've tried a couple of times to like it but it just didn't take.

 

I was hoping there were enough people with real office jobs that had the post Christmas days off so traffic would be light today. Didn't work out so well.

 

My boss is on vacation too. Only she's still sending e-mails throughout the day. Bosses suck at vacation.

 

Oh, Happy Boxing Day.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Rye bread is real situational. You don't want a mild meat on it, because the rye will overpower it. It's great for like a Reuben because the corned beef and kraut have strong enough flavors they can't be drowned out by the rye.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

A Rye bagel can **** straight off though, get serious with your bagels, ron.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

Sorry Napa/Strat. Girls are awful. Frau excepted of course.

I appreciate the sentiment, but in reality I am to blame for not wanting to give up earlier. she's a really nice girl, and fun to talk to. I'm not deleting the number, maybe someday I'll randomly say hello again.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

What do you know from bagels, son? I ran across more New York Jews in a week than you have in your life. Worked 5 doors down from a deli/bakery called Flakowitz and had a ton of Jewish bakeries around town. I think it's common knowledge that the New York bagel is the best. South FL ain't bad either.

 

Now, I will concede that my love of a rye is not common or acceptedbecause I can't find any up here in Orlando. A good everything bagel is nice

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

What do you know from bagels, son? I ran across more New York Jews in a week than you have in your life. Worked 5 doors down from a deli/bakery called Flakowitz and had a ton of Jewish bakeries around town. I think it's common knowledge that the New York bagel is the best. South FL ain't bad either.

 

Now, I will concede that my love of a rye is not common because I can't find any up here in Orlando

 

Dawg, I lived on the Northshore of Chicago for 4 years, and my jr year roommate couldn't turn the lights off friday night to saturday night, I know jews and I know bagels. I'm a purest when it comes to them. I don't want pumpernickel, I don't want sourdough, And I sure as **** don't want wheat. Give me that pure, yeasted wheat.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Olympia had a lot of hippie bagels too, which I can't abide by. I might get a little crazy with the flavored cream cheese, but the bagel itself must be pure.