I Called In Sick Today

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I'm wearing the slip ons. I texted my friend Whos a girl and she said laces. Chilling at the pool with my friend and her hot married friend and a hot single? Friend of my friends. I might actually talk to one of them.

 

Also, beans, how much for like 20 canos? This pool doesn't allow alcohol and I'm not always going to have Gatorade and vodka to mix to bring.

[ShakeZuma 585]

Speaking of Mexico, what the hell is a chainsaw attachment for a lawn mower?

 

hahahaha you know this popped into my head today. forgot to ask. thanks for bringing it up. good ole' mexico. least he's tryin I suppose.

 

 

 

 

napa, you can make canos really easily. scissors and a hand held can opener. look up youtube videos on it. it's not as fun as beans' way but they work.

[ShakeZuma 585]

seriously I see him walking around with a push mower with a chainsaw sticking out the front. just picks up the mower and starts sawing. good ole' mexico.

[Tiltinagain 973]

I thought Ron was talking about a chainsaw attachment to a weed wacker?

 

UNTRUE. I am the planner of the relationship. we have already decided this. so THERE.

 

 

yet another thing I'm more of a man than mexico about.

 

Heh, this is so cute.

[Whiskers 680]

Ron pruning the hedges:

 

 

 

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I saw my idiot friend on the elevator one morning. I was practicing proper etiquette and trying not to look anywhere anyone else was looking, which happened to be down. I noticed his laces weren't tied, and planned on making fun of him after we had exited. then I looked closer and noticed: they WERE tied, just actually knotted without a bow, with a ton of loose shoestring laying around.

 

I was too baffled to remember to insult him after we exited.

[ShakeZuma 585]

computer guy? had to have been a computer guy.

 

 

 

oh and hey beans, been meaning to run this by you: got a few stumps in my yard now (YEAH STIHL POWER) so I'd like to try to get rid of them eventually. I say eventually because I don't want to put much effort into it. heard a guy say this weekend that you could drill holes in stumps to speed up the rotting process. this true? full disclosure: I've already drilled a bunch of holes in one of them. anything else you can do to speed up the process so it's easier to dig them out?

[The Ocho 970]

We tried it and put this stuff in those holes to speed up the process. It doesn't work very well. Practically burnt up the drill trying to get holes in the stumps. For that effort rent a grinder for half a day. It'll probably be $60, and take 15-30 minutes per stump depending on size.

 

Edit: if you can get some he's in them and can fill the holes with diesel, they will burn down. That's more fun.

[runthemover 39]

Bar car?

 

yea. coulda. woulda. shoulda? I was going out that night and didn't want to start too early. skinnier guy so I slow down quicker and I was in-between meals.

 

that's perfect for Shake though. Kids n wife are in the regular seats. he goes over the dining car/bar car for one drink. orders another and brings back stuff for everyone and complains about the long line and slow service.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

yet another thing I'm more of a man than mexico about.

 

Wait a second, hold on a cotton pickin minute. I'm a man in my relationship. Mostly. I was cooking dinner while she was putting together the mount for the wall mounting of the tv. That's our roles.

 

Speaking of Mexico, what the hell is a chainsaw attachment for a lawn mower?

 

I thought Ron was talking about a chainsaw attachment to a weed wacker?

 

Titly gets me. It's a hand held motor thing that has attachments. A weed wacker, an edger, hedge trimmer, blower and a chainsaw attachment.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

that's perfect for Shake though. Kids n wife are in the regular seats. he goes over the dining car/bar car for one drink. orders another and brings back stuff for everyone and complains about the long line and slow service.

 

Classic move. Last year a friend and I pulled that move, but the 50 wings we ordered never came. It was odd. We just kept drinking, keep waiting, finally complained after 4 drinks. Showed up to our destination 45 minutes later.

[Sickinfo2 291]

First off, canos for sickies are free. Just gimme a place to send them...

 

 

 

I also figured mexi had one of those super weedeaters that had an attachment. One of my neighbors has one. Laugh my ass off when he's out there in the yard....

 

 

 

 

Gotta go. Fast n loud is on. I'll respond to the other points after a few more mixers

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Laugh? I mean, I would love a full on commercial edger, but its a pretty small lawn. Would be a waste. And I'd probably cut my foot off

 

I'll give you slugs and even better laugh. The old one was gas powered but it was kind of falling apart so we got an electric one.

[Tiltinagain 973]

Wait a second, hold on a cotton pickin minute. I'm a man in my relationship. Mostly. I was cooking dinner while she was putting together the mount for the wall mounting of the tv. That's our roles.

 

 

 

 

 

Titly gets me. It's a hand held motor thing that has attachments. A weed wacker, an edger, hedge trimmer, blower and a chainsaw attachment.

 

I also figured mexi had one of those super weedeaters that had an attachment. One of my neighbors has one. Laugh my ass off when he's out there in the yard....

 

 

 

 

Gotta go. Fast n loud is on. I'll respond to the other points after a few more mixers

 

Beans and I win! That was fun.

 

Fast n loud comes on at 8 PT. Have the DVR set up already. Interested to see what happens with the F 40.

[funyet 53]

I just sat through all of This Means War only to find out that she picks the wrong guy at the end. What is life all about anyway?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I go with the rugged, handsome foreigner as well

 

If I'd seen the movie, I mean

[hank213 1,823]

sa, this whole sad sack no sex thing is just a gimmick right? i mean as many hoops as you jump through for this girl and shit you gotta be getting some crazy ass right? it's just a easier to say you're not getting laid than it is trying to describe the depraved shit you two do together right? it's joke right? tell me IT'S A FUCKING JOKE. RIGHT?

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

he is worried his worlds have collided and will not be addressing anything on the topic

 

I just want to point out that it's highly unlikely (and probably more wishful thinking than anything) that she'd take the time to thoroughly snoop on someone she ignores for weeks at a time. again, I am only able to make this observation because I've been there...

[Theraflu 1,035]

Says the guy with Chelsea poster in his room.

 

 

 

 

(I don't think that makes any sense, but I haven't been able to fit it into anything else, and it surprised me that it was there, but the statute of memories for my poor, abused brain is just about gone on that image, so I had to fit it in.)

[Essay21 2,385]

sa, this whole sad sack no sex thing is just a gimmick right? i mean as many hoops as you jump through for this girl and shit you gotta be getting some crazy ass right? it's just a easier to say you're not getting laid than it is trying to describe the depraved shit you two do together right? it's joke right? tell me IT'S A FUCKING JOKE. RIGHT?

 

[Sickinfo2 291]

oh and hey beans, been meaning to run this by you: got a few stumps in my yard now (YEAH STIHL POWER) so I'd like to try to get rid of them eventually. I say eventually because I don't want to put much effort into it. heard a guy say this weekend that you could drill holes in stumps to speed up the rotting process. this true? full disclosure: I've already drilled a bunch of holes in one of them. anything else you can do to speed up the process so it's easier to dig them out?

 

 

 

Fist off, if the stumps are maples...like the one to the right of your driveway... they will rot away in a short amount of time by themselves. Soft wood...rots fast. Im leaving the rest in guapos hands since he has the following two correct answers. In the future, though, if a tree dies and you want to get rid of the stump using a backhoe, make sure and cut it about four feet above the ground. That way the operator can dig around the root ball a couple feet deep and hook the bucket on the top of the stump for leverage to pull it out. A good, drunken operator like me can pull it like a rotten tooth and shake the dirt from the roots and put it back in the hole. Ive removed stumps/root balls so large I had to steer it using differential braking to the flatbed because the front tires were off the ground....

 

 

 

We tried it and put this stuff in those holes to speed up the process. It doesn't work very well. Practically burnt up the drill trying to get holes in the stumps. For that effort rent a grinder for half a day. It'll probably be $60, and take 15-30 minutes per stump depending on size.

 

Edit: if you can get some he's in them and can fill the holes with diesel, they will burn down. That's more fun.

 

 

 

I have a stump grinder guy that charges a benjamin each and it takes minutes to grind down to ground level....

 

 

 

I also stumbled across another method that works just as well...just takes more time. Buy a fifty five gallon barrel for about ten bucks. Cut out the solid end with your fancy cordless sawzall. Place it over the stump. If its too big use some rusty discarded roofing tin. Place some seasoned/green wood inside and soak with diesel and light it off. Keep the fire going for a few days and remove the tin/barrel after a week. The hot coals at the bottom will continue to burn the stump using the ashes as an insulator

 

 

 

 

Laugh? I mean, I would love a full on commercial edger, but its a pretty small lawn. Would be a waste. And I'd probably cut my foot off

 

I'll give you slugs and even better laugh. The old one was gas powered but it was kind of falling apart so we got an electric one.

 

 

 

I was drunk and in a hurry when I posted last. I meant to add that the guy was using a tiller attachment on the weedeater and was using it to make a garden. He spent several days out there holding that thing that was bouncing around like a jackhammer on a giant rubber ball. Dirt and rock flying everywhere. Since the guys wife is cute and jogs by the gates most mornings and gives me a slight thrill, I stopped one day and offered to till it up with my five foot three point tiller behind the tractor. He politely declined and stated he did it for exercise. After I pointed out he was making a garden over his septic system lateral lines he abandoned the project. I get a bigger grin and a sexy wave from his wife ever since

 

 

 

Beans and I win! That was fun.

 

Fast n loud comes on at 8 PT. Have the DVR set up already. Interested to see what happens with the F 40.

 

 

 

Yeah, but we both probably assumed he at least had a gas powered unit... at least I did

 

 

 

Next time lets not give so much manly credit...

 

 

 

Even though I knew the outcome I was curious how they would spin Dennis "buying out" Richards investment

 

 

 

I point blank accused Richard of falsifying the figures on what he bought the cars for and had into them before they were sold. He sucked down a twelve pack of miller lites denying it until he offered to show the books to me and the kid. I went as far as sitting down in the "world headquarters" with him and Cristi until I was drawn in to her sexy good looks. Flirty little personality as well. I have a standing demand that if he ever stumbles across another big block sixty seven with matching numbers Im first in line....

 

 

 

Bastard also has a BDfive prototype that I hound him about almost weekly. Bare aluminum shell with most of the important mechanicals still intact built by Jims hands. Hanging from the ceiling. I offered to buy it and get the thing flying within a year. Even went as far as including him as a partner that had to nothing more than hand it over and Id do the rest. Play with it for a while and make ten fold what the bare airframe itself is worth. Maybe twofold. Id have to keep it of course. Other than not relinquishing that treasure the guy is stand up in every way. One of the few Ive staggered across that would be a major player in any drinking contest with me. The wife and kid claims the empty cans were hitting the floor so often it sounded like large hail coming down

 

 

 

 

Well, its midnight and I still have some skim coats to do on the jeep. Told you guys the tweets would get annoying. Ill just update the major happenings from now on. Unless I get really hammered then all bets are off...

 

 

 

And shakey, after the kid sideswiped a bluff and a few surrounding trees in my absence, he took off the bigfoot tires, jacked down the torsion bars, removed the blocks from the rear axles, and put a set of normal sized tires on it. He sold the factory aluminum wheels a while back and used the steel chrome ones sourced from an electrician friend of ours. Its now his "cowboy Cadillac" as he puts it. Cruiser. Hes in the process of destroying my frontier which goes between obstacles much better than the full sized model

 

 

 

I did notice that somehow a nitrous setup had been installed at some point while beating the side back to life. Plus the same sized tubing dies were still in the bender that matched the new dual exhaust less converters that now run from headers to the rear bumper...

 

 

 

Im not even asking why my vintage drag racing christmas tree has a hundred foot extension cord grafted to it and a series of black marks now decorate my driveway. Im just proud no stumps appeared where trees used to line it. Kids. Youll see. Purty, purty, soon by the looks of it

[ShakeZuma 585]

that's perfect for Shake though. Kids n wife are in the regular seats. he goes over the dining car/bar car for one drink. orders another and brings back stuff for everyone and complains about the long line and slow service.

 

yeah this is the kind of stuff I need to be taking notes on. good idea.

 

Laugh? I mean, I would love a full on commercial edger, but its a pretty small lawn. Would be a waste. And I'd probably cut my foot off

I'll give you slugs and even better laugh. The old one was gas powered but it was kind of falling apart so we got an electric one.

 

oh it's ok, we're all just funnin'. it would be pretty stupid for you to have industrial sized stihl trimmers edgers chainsaws and a zero turn mower of some sort for the size yard you have. wouldn't make any sense. I mean of course we would all have that stuff even for that sized yard. but you, no, you're sensible.

 

I also stumbled across another method that works just as well...just takes more time. Buy a fifty five gallon barrel for about ten bucks. Cut out the solid end with your fancy cordless sawzall. Place it over the stump. If its too big use some rusty discarded roofing tin. Place some seasoned/green wood inside and soak with diesel and light it off. Keep the fire going for a few days and remove the tin/barrel after a week. The hot coals at the bottom will continue to burn the stump using the ashes as an insulator.

 

 

After I pointed out he was making a garden over his septic system lateral lines he abandoned the project.

 

but where in the world am I going to find old discarded roofing tin??? oh, wait.

 

 

that does sound like a good idea. only problem is that the tree is like 2 feet from the road/sidewalk. I know, I know, that's not a problem, that's part of the fun. I'll look into it. I'm pretty sure the stumps too big for a barrel so I'll have to figure out the roofing tin thing. I'm assuming you mean bend it to size then bolt it or something? I do have power tools drill in tin now! oh I wonder about one of those metal cow feeder things? or maybe some other type of farm barrel thing? I'll ask around. this sounds like a fun project: fire and destruction.

 

 

and wouldn't that make the garden even better? maybe not quite as appetizing but still...

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh also, going to see daniel tosh tonight. should be pretty cool. screw you if you don't think he's funny. just means you're a homophobic faggot is all.

 

my buddy wants to hit up the strip club afterwards. of course this is virginia, and we hate erections, so it's either no nudity and alcohol allowed, or no alcohol and nudity allowed. either way, what fun is that? oh well

[Sickinfo2 291]

only problem is that the tree is like 2 feet from the road/sidewalk. I know, I know, that's not a problem, that's part of the fun. I'll look into it. I'm pretty sure the stumps too big for a barrel so I'll have to figure out the roofing tin thing. I'm assuming you mean bend it to size then bolt it or something?

 

 

and wouldn't that make the garden even better? maybe not quite as appetizing but still...

 

 

 

All you need is something to contain the fire in... hell, build a fire ring around it out of river rocks or concrete blocks

 

 

 

Ive had some fires over the years that a week after torching them there was still hot coals at the bottom of the ashes. Granted, there was shingles and other materials involved that got so hot it was near radioactive. Point being you can do the same thing with natural resources. Elm, ash, or locust burns hot...especially when half green

 

 

 

I have heard that the same thing is possible using plain ole charcoal. Im sure it does just as good or better. I like the pyromania of a full fledged roaster, though. Since the area is under power and telephone wires you may want to go that route, anyway. The next time you have a few days to hang around the house buy up a few bags of the cheapo sams choice stuff from the new walmart... make a little fire ring around the stump, stack the bags inside, and torch them off with diesel or lighter fluid. The flames will die down quickly but they will continue to burn almost smokeless for quite a while. Try to keep it burning for a day or two at least...

 

 

 

Probably take about fifteen bags at least. Start with half that and add in a bag or so an hour. Im just guessing here. Never tried that method. Wood is free and easily accessible. So is pvc pipe and other long lasting flammable products I dont have to worry about the authorities seeing. Old tires make too much smoke even at my place

 

 

 

Just be sure and take a pick and dig back the dirt from around the stump to the grade you wish to remove it to. Dirt is an excellent insulator and will hinder the complete burning of the roots surrounding it...

 

 

 

As always, I expect twit pics of the procedure. That goes for almost anything in the thread but strats dick pics for me

 

 

 

Im not sure my screen resolution could handle that many pixels...

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh man this sounds like it could be fun... probably ought to fix my garden hose first though. I never freaking remember to unhook the damn thing in the winter. every god damn year.