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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Half day. I have to work Saturday. Not allowed to get overtime. Company be cheap.

 

I work as little as possible. Doesn't everyone?

 

 

You know what's a great twitter account? Motorboat my tits.

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Since I dont go back for doc for three months for routine blood work, I decided last week to use up some of my surplus inventory between now and then. Dont wanna stroll in there with readings off the chart and raise a bunch of eyebrows... although Im sure when I accidentally rip the door off its hinges entering the building like the Hulk Ill get another stern talkin to for not following directions...

 

 

 

Stuff is amazing. Just ask the wife. Has to jump up from the couch and run whenever an Adam and Eve commercial comes on. Cant imagine why those pro baseball players bothered with wooden bats... eventually they have to soften up

 

 

 

In other not so disturbing news, all this tweeter talk reminds me I have a backlog of unpublished material clogging up the ole telephone. Well, tweeter triggered another thought so I have to hunt the wife down first, but after that prepare for a barrage of random boring stuff that would force Ray Charles to stop following...

 

 

 

Click that unfollow tab now. Youve been warned

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follow request? shit I already sent her strat's dick pics

 

First I don't get Shake's girl's pics and now I don't even get Strat's dick pics. What the hell is going on around here?

 

 

do you guys consider male porn stars dick models?

 

I'm not sure I've ever contemplated it.

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Oh, shake, important question: Did she make you a sammich after?

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My first thought was to expel him from the premises. Instead gave the chap a walk down ancient history... roll up windows, no A/C, lap belts, pulling out the choke and pumping the throttle a dozen times before the engine would cough and sputter to life, etc

 

Nick recently realized that my car has roll-up windows - he was flabbergasted! "Dad what is that thing? What does it do? Why does it work like that? You mean you can roll the window down with the car turned off? So in this car you can't lock it so that I can't change my window? THAT'S SO AWE-SOMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

"Why do the windows in the back of this car not go down?" <frowny face>

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anybody ever taken an amtrak anywhere? going to DC in a couple of weeks and thinking that might be better than driving. plus I've always wanted to take a train somewhere.

 

Philly to D.C. was OK. I brought a book but ended up just looking outside the window the whole time. I didn't go over to the dining car (I was by myself. the trip was shortish and I didn't feel like chatting with randoms). The great convenience part about going to D.C. is the metro connection inside the station.

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Guys having a big problem over here. My sister bought me two pairs of new boat shoes because I told her I needed a new pair. Now can't decide which of the pairs to keep or maybe both? Ones the standard boat shoe with laces. The others a slightly lighter brown just slip on.

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Philly to D.C. was OK. I brought a book but ended up just looking outside the window the whole time. I didn't go over to the dining car (I was by myself. the trip was shortish and I didn't feel like chatting with randoms). The great convenience part about going to D.C. is the metro connection inside the station.

 

Bar car?

 

Guys having a big problem over here. My sister bought me two pairs of new boat shoes because I told her I needed a new pair. Now can't decide which of the pairs to keep or maybe both? Ones the standard boat shoe with laces. The others a slightly lighter brown just slip on.

 

Your sister? So, she bought you shoes with your own money?

 

I have no input on the shoes

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I have no input on the shoes

 

That's ok, Essay and I took care of it.

 

People are always telling me how much of an expert on boat shoes I am, so it's good to be useful here.

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Philly to D.C. was OK. I brought a book but ended up just looking outside the window the whole time. I didn't go over to the dining car (I was by myself. the trip was shortish and I didn't feel like chatting with randoms). The great convenience part about going to D.C. is the metro connection inside the station.

 

hmm, ok. doesn't sound too bad then. only problem is that she said she wanted to stay in arlington. actually that's not really a problem. since there's the metro. so whatever. I just know my friend just went up there and said the next time he goes he isn't driving but taking a train since parking up there is such a bastard. I checked today and tickets were only 29 bucks. it'd cost that much in gas. I don't know. we'll see.

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I don't know. we'll see.

 

Oh, I know. You'll do whatever the hell the wife wants you to do. And you'll like it.

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UNTRUE. I am the planner of the relationship. we have already decided this. so THERE.

 

 

yet another thing I'm more of a man than mexico about.

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