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I Called In Sick Today


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Welp, I just tried to make a smoothie and my blender doesn't work. So I don't have a blender. Down to like 9 total possessions.

 

It's kind of the right way to live. We don't need a ton of shit.

 

Although, I do enjoy stuff, mostly because I'm a homebody

 

 

I only enjoy drinking when out though.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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too bad there aren't any other social networking sites out there where one can share pictures

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Classic ol/dr

 

haha

 

Holy shit Shake's girl is not unattractive

 

uh oh. worlds beginning to collide...

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too bad there aren't any other social networking sites out there where one can share pictures

 

Did I ask where to find them? NO, didnt think so Muthafcka. I assumed as much, but my shirt was over

 

 

Plus I don't care that much. Now I'm gonna find that pic napa was talking about and jerk off to it

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shake pls PM me the pic people are talking about, the one of your girlfriend that is supposedly not unattractive.

 

At least I offered something in return.

 

You got anything worth trading?

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HEY SHAKE PLEASE PM ME ALL THE PICTURES I PROMISE TO INSTANTLY DELETE IT I AM JUST REALLY CURIOUS YOU GUYS

 

Best Buy sells blenders.

 

I went there fully intending to buy a new blender, but instead spent the whole wad on Microsoft Points so I can buy games for my XBOX. My ex uses that blender every day (all she eats is smoothies because she's trying to lose five pounds so all the guys will want to chop her down or whatever), so I figure she'll replace it when she finds out it doesn't work. Win/Win. Win. (The first two wins are me, and the last win is whatever guy hits it five pounds lighter.)

 

It's kind of the right way to live. We don't need a ton of shit.

 

Although, I do enjoy stuff, mostly because I'm a homebody

 

 

I only enjoy drinking when out though.

 

I've never needed much stuff. As long as I have internet, internet devices, and access to a place that shows sporting events on TV I'm fine. I would rather be able to buy my friends drinks than have some kind of totally rad electric razor. Whatever manscaping I do, I do with a pair of scissors and a Mach 3

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And now it's time to drink one thousand beers and spend the next four hours browsing XBOX titles, paralyzed with indecision.

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I've never needed much stuff. As long as I have internet, internet devices, and access to a place that shows sporting events on TV I'm fine. I would rather be able to buy my friends drinks than have some kind of totally rad electric razor. Whatever manscaping I do, I do with a pair of scissors and a Mach 3

 

Answer please:

 

c23ytru.jpg

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Important Question

 

Are we allowed to sacrifice 5 million extra once we get down there for 5 bonus points to spend? Or are we locked in from the very beginning?

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No word on the job and I don't want to bother my contact about it. Figure he'll let me know one way or another. Be it via text or just removing me from Facebook.

 

Strat, I might or I might not. I don't need you to be go all you and criticize her even though she's way more than acceptable and bring down our Shakey. I'm happy one of us broke though.

 

I'm drinking and smoking black and milds because I'm black.

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Dear Mr. The Mover

I will be in San Diego July 19th. We will likely stay in the Gaslamp Quarter and just want to see some "quick" sites around town, meaning no trip to the zoo or sea world.

 

I have received and read your request and will get back to you next week.

 

 

don't read this http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Stabbing-Market-Street-San-Diego-CVS-Alta-Condo-Gaslamp-211584331.html

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Whatever manscaping I do, I do with a pair of scissors on March 3

 

Corrected to show how I read your post

 

Felt you shoulda trimmed up more often

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A few more things that need clarification from Whiskers.

 

1. Is the 18 year old ONLY a willing sex partner? Or does she spend the time with me down there as well? Basically, will it be like I have a random person down there whenever I want? Or is her ONLY function sex?

 

2. What kind of medical care am I getting from the Mayo Clinic? Basic stuff (regular checkups, emergency care)? Or the expensive stuff (surgery, transplants if needed, potentially psychiatric care, full access to advice medical advice)? Do I have to pay for it out of my loot?

 

Depending on the answers to those questions, I think I've got a pretty solid plan in place.

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Corrected to show how I read your post

 

Felt you shoulda trimmed up more often

 

I don't go too crazy. Shave my balls every Sunday (Sunday is ball shavin' day), keep my dong lettuce trimmed every few weeks.

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