Roll the Bones 74 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Turkey-- Deep Fry--- 40 minutes hey worked out pretty well for me.YOUR MOM PUTS HER FACE IN THE TURKEY OVEN SHUT UPyepMy mother in law has Parkinsons and after whining about my dad for so long I haven't been boring you with the details of this fiasco. She needs to be in a nursing home and has fallen and gotten hurt about a dozen times the last 6 months. To me it's cruel to leave her at home, but in fairness she has her faculties if not her body use and refuses so it's a tough call. Last week she suffered a subdural hematoma and went blind for a day, then spent the week in the hospital. She got out Saturday so I stopped to check on her last night and she had just torn the skin off her arm on the walker and I was at the hospital with her till 1 AM. Oh yeah forgot what started this, about a month ago I stopped by and she was stuck with her head in the oven, not on luckily. TuckerMaxTucker MaxAn older woman chasing a younger guy is called a cougar. Does this mean an older guy chasing a young boy called a Nittany Lion?Regardless of Tucker, that is pretty likely to be a new meme and pretty funny. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Reminds me of a great scene from West Wing: That was excellent. Someone should post a scene from WW every week. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 about a month ago I stopped by and she was stuck with her head in the oven, not on luckily.Yes...luckily...I went back and checked about five times to make sure this was mother-in-law, not mother. Link to post Share on other sites
CaneBrain 95 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Overheard at my work yesterday: "Is Penn State a Catholic school?"I didn't know speedz had a brother.Yeah, I heard that one from a couple of people last night.Speedz has a lawyer brother who works 80-90 hours per week or some lunacy like that. Edit: should always read the last few posts, oops. Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Turkey-- Deep Fry--- 40 minutesMy mother in law has Parkinsons and after whining about my dad for so long I haven't been boring you with the details of this fiasco. She needs to be in a nursing home and has fallen and gotten hurt about a dozen times the last 6 months. To me it's cruel to leave her at home, but in fairness she has her faculties if not her body use and refuses so it's a tough call. Last week she suffered a subdural hematoma and went blind for a day, then spent the week in the hospital. She got out Saturday so I stopped to check on her last night and she had just torn the skin off her arm on the walker and I was at the hospital with her till 1 AM. Oh yeah forgot what started this, about a month ago I stopped by and she was stuck with her head in the oven, not on luckily.Was it on broil? Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Awesome Link to post Share on other sites
Roll the Bones 74 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Was it on broil?Don't think it didn't cross my mind....The problem is her brain thinks she is fine but her body doesn't cooperate and she is in total denail that she is that bad.. You know, kind of like MY PENIS. Link to post Share on other sites
The Ocho 970 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Found speedz dream girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 The problem is her brain thinks she is fine but her body doesn't cooperate and she is total denail that she is as bad as she is. You know, like of like Shake in bed.This post needs an editor; there's a really funny joke in there if you'd clean it up a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 has speedz ever verbalized why he prefers his women beyond skinny? or is it just a joke taken to the extreme? Link to post Share on other sites
Roll the Bones 74 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Don't think it didn't cross my mind....The problem is her brain thinks she is fine but her body doesn't cooperate and she is in total denail that she is that bad.. You know, kind of like MY PENIS.better?Found speedz dream girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 better?I don't really know if your penis is better than Shake in bed.But I would assume so. Link to post Share on other sites
turd_ferguson 0 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Found speedz dream girl.He's already got his dream girl, remember? She emails him funny articles and brings him special coffee. If only he could be that thoughtful; then she might really feel appreciated on her birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 has speedz ever verbalized why he prefers his women beyond skinny? or is it just a joke taken to the extreme?I like thin women, not anorexic women. The joke has been taken to the extreme. I laughed.He's already got his dream girl, remember? She emails him funny articles and brings him special coffee. If only he could be that thoughtful; then she might really feel appreciated on her birthday.Goddamnit.I just gave up after two days of torturing myself (including another trip to a bunch of stores) and purchased a night at a decent hotel in Boston for the Saturday night of Thanksgiving weekend. She's always saying that she'd like to get into the city more often and we also say that we wish we could go on vacation together (impossible due to time/cash constraints at the moment), so I feel like this could act as a mini-mini-vacation. Plus I'm bringing champagne and a mini strawberry cheesecake (with candles) over to her place at midnight (she'll be too busy studying tomorrow to enjoy even a minute of her birthday after she wakes up) for our standard latenight "two nights before an exam" studying extravaganza.So, I mean, I'm no slouch. I just didn't kill it like I wanted to. I'm way better at buying random presents for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Also, I'm weirded out by the fact that JJJ seems to remember the least about me these days. What happened to the steel trap mind I've come to know and love? Or, at least, appreciate. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Plus I'm bringing champagne and a mini strawberry cheesecake (with candles) over to her place at midnight...You should show up in your Halloween costume.I mean, I can't figure out a reason why, but still...Also, I'm weirded out by the fact that JJJ seems to remember the least about me these days. What happened to the steel trap mind I've come to know and love? Or, at least, appreciate.Was there something else besides the long-lost brother?Shit, I can't even remember what I've forgotten.Pre-post edit: There is nothing about this post that makes sense. Speedz is right; I'm losing my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 He's already got his dream girl, remember? She emails him funny articles and brings him special coffee. If only he could be that thoughtful; then she might really feel appreciated on her birthday.Happy birthday! Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 You should show up in your Halloween costume.I mean, I can't figure out a reason why, but still...I don't know why I'd need a reason to do that.Was there something else besides the long-lost brother?I don't know...you didn't post a long explanation about my preferences for the female body, complete with multiple quotes that would seem so obscure that you almost had to have them ready in case the subject was brought up. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Aidan 8 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I don't know...you didn't post a long explanation about my preferences for the female body, complete with multiple quotes that would seem so obscure that you almost had to have them ready in case the subject was brought up.That's like somebody asking what the deal is with Shake and: job/money/roof/spiders/single moms/BEACH. You don't need me for that, just pick a page and you'll get there soon enough.But this one works well:How many times must I explain that I like a woman to be skinny, but not looking like Skeletor. I don't like to see bones (ribs, spine, shoulder blades, etc) sticking out all over the place. All I ask for is perfection, it's not that hard. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Well said, speedz. Well said.But seriously, I don't know how you manage to find the perfect quote that quickly. And I don't want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Dawson Leery 12 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Just found out my office is closing at the end of the year. So I either have to move to NY or SF, or find another job (which I've already somewhat started). So this is what it feels like to be Napa and/or Shake. Link to post Share on other sites
The Ocho 970 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Just found out my office is closing at the end of the year. So I either have to move to NY or SF, or find another job (which I've already somewhat started). So this is what it feels like to be Napa and/or Shake.Come to SF, and I will pretend to go around and bang bitches with you. Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 randy planking now I've seen it all They started selling the Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat at my local store, but not in 6-packs or anything. Just single bottles. 12 oz. Is this like a trial run or something?those aluminum yellow things? yeah I mean, they're beer purists and said they'd never put it in a can, so I think that was their way of squirming out of that promise. give it a shot, I bet you can't stop at just one bite.Also, I'm weirded out by the fact that JJJ seems to remember the least about me these days. What happened to the steel trap mind I've come to know and love? Or, at least, appreciate.he has a lot on his plate right now. bit off more than he could chew.Just found out my office is closing at the end of the year. So I either have to move to NY or SF, or find another job (which I've already somewhat started). So this is what it feels like to be Napa and/or Shake.hey, keep me in mind. seriously. I'd be cheap. Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Plus I'm bringing champagne and a mini strawberry cheesecake (with candles)Seriously what would we do without hackneyed clichés? The pressure of creativity would kill us. Link to post Share on other sites
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