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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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not familiar enough with that stuff while sober so it has very little relevance to me in terms of relationships.

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But, like, I don't love him. The letter is more about me respecting and believing in him. I have no idea what he would think of it... I'm a little nervous about it. Today he said something about me "not being nice" to him sometimes and admitted that he focuses on the negative stuff I do. He said he didn't know what I thought of him so I told him some nice stuff (most of which is repeated in the letter). I thought it would be good to entrench the sentiment that I do like him and never intend to "not be nice" to him.
I didn't mean "lovey dovey" as in love, literally, but just being kind of sentimental.
Are relationships always this complicated? I think he and I are both really sensitive and we get into a critical-defensive pattern with each other a lot. We're definitely improving but it's still an issue. Other peoples relationships look so easy.
Short answer: No, but that doesn't necessarily mean you should break up with him quite yet.
But Shake: sex.
Heh.
not familiar enough with that stuff
We know.
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We know.
not done blaming you for stuff.maybe I should just blame you for women hating me. yeah, I like the sound of that.
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maybe I should just blame you for women hating me. yeah, I like the sound of that.
If you ever decide to actually try to get a girlfriend it won't take long. But I'll deny ever having said that.
You must have some issues with your girlfriend.... right?
Five months in and the closest thing we've had to an argument was when I was lazy, slept in, and had to run out the door even though she wanted el sexo, so she got annoyed. It lasted about three comments and twenty seconds before we were both just laughing about it. It sounds ridiculous, but there's nothing I don't really like about this girl, although that's not to say I love absolutely every word that comes out of her mouth. That'd just be weird. But we do get along insanely well and everything flows very naturally (and easily, I suppose).But I'm honestly not sure that's normal. I've been in two long term (>1yr) and a handful of short term (1-6mo) relationships, and this is the first time I've ever really hit on every possible level with someone like this. But we'll see how things progress in a few months when we have the "what would our plans be post-graduation if we were still together" conversation, which will include the fact that she probably wants to live in NYC and I...don't. Do you two have serious issues, or is it closer to a series of miscommunications and/or nitpicky small disagreements that seem to be adding up?
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Do you two have serious issues, or is it closer to a series of miscommunications and/or nitpicky small disagreements that seem to be adding up?
The latter I guess. For example, I find it annoying when he always gets his phone out every few minutes to check his emails even when we are talking. He thinks it is reasonable it's his right to do it so I should just accept that it's his lifestyle. This has caused several rows, and once the row starts we add things on, criticising each other in a sort of rational, logical way and then we both get defensive.
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The latter I guess. For example, I find it annoying when he always gets his phone out every few minutes to check his emails even when we are talking. He thinks it is reasonable it's his right to do it so I should just accept that it's his lifestyle. This has caused several rows, and once the row starts we add things on, criticising each other in a sort of rational, logical way and then we both get defensive.
It's his lifestyle? Like, it's somehow related to him being a med student or something?I know this is cliche, but the relationships that work long term are the ones in which each person's foibles are easily tolerated, if not actively enjoyed, by the other. In my experience, anyway.
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It's his lifestyle? Like, it's somehow related to him being a med student or something?I know this is cliche, but the relationships that work long term are the ones in which each person's foibles are easily tolerated, if not actively enjoyed, by the other. In my experience, anyway.
I don't know, how do you "enjoy" someone always looking at their phone when you're in the middle of a conversation?
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I don't know, how do you "enjoy" someone always looking at their phone when you're in the middle of a conversation?
Oh, you don't. Although maybe at some point you won't really care either way. Or he'll stop...or you'll break up.But really, what's his excuse? That he wants to and it's a free country, or does he have a legitimate reason to need to constantly stay on top of email? Or are you exaggerating about the "every few minutes" thing because you just hate smartphones?
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every time he's talking about something important to him you need to pull out your phone and ignore him. see how that sonofabitch likes it. maybe cheat on him with me. i dont know, we're just spit balling here.

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maybe it's a cyrano de bergerac type of thing. when he stops checking his email does he say something really witty/romantic?no?then he's a douche.

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Are relationships always this complicated? I think he and I are both really sensitive and we get into a critical-defensive pattern with each other a lot. We're definitely improving but it's still an issue. Other peoples relationships look so easy.
I think the ones worth having always involve some degree of negotiation... and also stimulate personal growth which can be uncomfortable at times.
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Thanks for the input guys. There is no urgent/important reason why his email checking can't wait until I have left or am in the bathroom etc. He is just used to checking his email all the time when he is alone and doesn't think he should change his behaviour when I'm around. Same goes for checking various forums/websites he's into, putting on videos about authors on youtube, and playing podcasts of author interviews when we're going to sleep. These are all behaviours that he sees as part of who he is, and he thinks that if I want to be with him I need to accept them and integrate with them. I do think he is cutting back on all this now and doing it a bit less but there are still times when he is really inconsiderate and I struggle to tolerate it.

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I think the ones worth having always involve some degree of negotiation... and also stimulate personal growth which can be uncomfortable at times.
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These are all behaviours that he sees as part of who he is, and he thinks that if I want to be with him I need to accept them and integrate with them. I do think he is cutting back on all this now and doing it a bit less but there are still times when he is really inconsiderate and I struggle to tolerate it.
VB's right, some negotiation like this is healthy. Some.You should whip out your phone to check email during sex.
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Yes, also this.
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VB's right, some negotiation like this is healthy. Some.
Yeah we have compromised a bit I think. I have stuff I need to work on too. I can't imagine ever being in a relationship where I didn't feel like we both needed to make an effort.
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i'm so glad i have finals next week. they allow me a perfect excuse to skip easter dinners. i hate family dinners anyways; you throw in a ridiculous zombie story and i'm in for a real annoying time.

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I bet brvheart did all KINDS of jesusy stuff today
Hey, you know what I found out today? Apparently all of JC's lectures and miracles and crap were done before he died, and when he (allegedly) came back to life he was only seen by his inner circle and maybe a few stragglers before heading up into heaven. I guess I always assumed that he was all over the map after he was resurrected, because, I mean, who would believe the story beyond a shadow of a doubt if it was only coming from his best friends, who clearly had the most to gain from him being considered a god. And yet, this seems to be the case. It's only a step away from the Joseph Smith thing. Faith is funny.
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