I Called In Sick Today

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

Not for long.

Hurry up!

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Not for long.

Hurry up!

That's what she said!

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

That's what she said!

Not any she's I know.?

[Roll the Bones 74]

Well I really appreciate Facebook. It's nice to see all them girls I banged being all old and fat while I still look so good.

[Tactical Bear 3]

I did the "we're alone in the car together I better sack up and do this now" asking out thing once. She...politely declined.

One of my most embarrassing moments for me asking a girl out was in college. I was sitting at a table in the cafeteria (one of those 6 foot folding round tables) and suddenly I found myself alone with an extremely attractive girl. We struck up a very good conversation, she moved closer to me. I think I even missed a class to continue talking to her. After about 30 minutes (the whole time sitting there thinking how do I ask this girl out) I think I asked her very nonchalantly "would you like to go out sometime?" Her face turned instantly to this disgusted face and said "I have a boyfriend" to which I replied. "Ummm, uh blah, ya, um I know. OK. Bye." I immediately got up and left. I half turned around to see her watching me awkwardly scurry off with a complete look of amazement and disbelief as to what happened. I don't think I even asked a random girl out again after that.

How can you guys only have a single "I got rejected by some random chick" story? When I was in college, there was this incredibly sexy girl my buddy Milton had a class with. Now, I rarely use the word "sexy" to describe a person, but it's really the only appropriate word, here. She was very pretty, but in and of itself, her looks weren't really noteworthy; the only reason we noticed her was the raw, unbridled sexuality she exuded non-stop. So Milty and I decided, hell, we've got to sit next to this girl, see if we can get to know her a little. We went to class really hungover one random Thursday morning, and there was a quiz, so the classroom was packed. We took two seats, and by the time Ellen showed up, the only seat left was right next to me. After the quiz, Milty and I, in the foulest of moods, full of misery and misanthropy, reeking of last night's booze and tomorrow's disappointment, started passing mean-spirited notes back and forth. Eventually, Ellen -- an afterthought at this point, really -- passed me a note:"Can I play too?"So we included her, and the three of us became inseparable. Now, for some reason, I really thought she had a thing for me. I rarely do that. If I get to know somebody, I'm way more likely to assume a girl's not interested in me when she is than vice-versa, but with Ellen... One Thursday about 3 weeks later, we were walking back from class, trying to figure out what our plans were for that night, and Milty peeled off so I could get her alone. Wang: "Hey, I... don't do this very often, but do you want to go out sometime?"Ellen: "Uh, sure. We're going out tonight, right? I mean, I've been wanting to meet your friends for awhile, so I'm coming to your dorm and we're hitting the town."Wang: "No, I meant... like, OUT out."Ellen: "Well, I'd be disappointed if we stayed indoors all night."Wang: "No, I meant... like do you wa-"Ellen: "I know what you meant..."Wang: "Oh. Oh! Oh goodness... this is..."Ellen: "Awkward?"Wang: "And embarrassing."Ellen: "Are you going to be weird about this?"Wang: "I don't think so. Well, okay, I'll be... I'll be weird for a bit. I mean, I'm kind of..." [vague hand gesture] "...you know?"Ellen: "Uh, sure. It's cool."Wang: [has no idea what to say, but is hyper-aware of the lengthening pause and the accompanying awkwardness] "Cool beans."Ellen: "..."Wang: [must fill silence] "What do you think the coolest bean is?"She came out with us that night, and eventually became one of my best friends. it took all of one night for the awkwardness to pass completely, and I started telling the story of Ellen and Wang in front of people (including her) the next week. She hooked me up with a ton of her friends, many of which were sisters at Delta Delta Delta, a few of which were her hall-mates in Betsy Barbour (an all girls dorm in Ann Arbor), and eventually Katydid, one of her best friends from home who went to Indiana University, with whom I fell madly in love (and who eventually broke things off with me because she thought I banged one of Ellen and Katydid's other friends from home).

Well, this guy decided that he was so afraid of asking girls out that he was just going to give himself major exposure. Kind of a dorky, tall gangly guy. He started just walking around campus, striking up conversations with random girls, and then asking them out. He got rejected over and over again day in and day out, but several of them actually said yes. Granted it was a low percentage, but he got some dates and was totally fearless after this experience.

One thing I am kinda good at is teaching people how to be fearless in front of women. The key: "I don't give a fuck about nothin'." A friend of mine from college -- kind of a cool guy, but not that good looking or fascinating or rich or suave -- taught me this trick freshman year: the easiest way to get over your self-consciousness is to partner up with a friend, go to a few bars or parties, and try to get straight-up rejected by as many women as possible. When rejection is the goal, it doesn't bother you as much and you're not worried about it. It's that fear of rejection that subtly influences how we behave, that gets us all tightened-up and tizzied. Remove that fear, and it's way less likely that you'll get rejected, oddly enough, even if you're hoping to get rejected.

I am Skelton Belly?

God I miss this place so much. That "no laptop until Christmas" prop-bet was the worst decision I've ever made.

This is kinda like what "The Game" says I think. Guys use the 'techniques' to practice approaching girls and get comfortable with it, makes them more confident. Friend of mine has read the Game and was talking to me about it the other day. Apparently it works for him. Personally I can smell the Game on a guy a mile off, but sometimes it still works just because confidence is attractive.

I've never read The Game, but I've skimmed a few passages. Is that the book about "negging" and "peacocking" and "kiss-closing" and shit?

So, medium length story short, I got a facebook message from a girl I have no interest in that I happened to see briefly on Saturday night. She seems to be fishing for a conversation. What's the least dickish way to avoid that. Ignore the message? Write back a very short one that's almost bordering on rude*? Write back a nice one and then find awkward ways to reject her advances if they start to occur?LG? Help?*I just don't know if I can do that. I take pride in being better than the average bear at written correspondance, which may be the nerdiest thing of all time.

1) I am also exceptionally proud of my written correspondence skillz. I put an absurd amount of effort responding to work-related emails and the like. When I respond to PMs (shall not apply until Christmas, assuming I win this prop), I usually just go off. (sigh) I thought I was the only one, Speedzie.2) This situation is probably already remedied, but here's what I would do:Wait a decent amount of time -- long enough such that it's pretty clear you read the message and decided not to reply immediately -- then get back to her with something simple and obviously polite. "Hey, good seeing you, too. Enjoy the holidays." Actually, no. That just seems... no. Just ignore her. Ignoring her is probably better.

You've never had to experience what it's like to have people think you're older than you are. I haven't either, but it's something that those people hate, especially women.

Everyone thinks I am in my mid-thirties. It's... just awful. I gotta stop smoking or something.

SPORTS! GAMBLING!I am in a suicide pool (pick a team to win, can only pick once/year) and I am torn on who to take this week. For the rest of the year I have the following good teams left:JetsRavensBears (meh)EaglesFalconsIf I can get through this week without using one of those teams I can play each of them the final 5 weeks assuming I make it that far. Should I go with Cleveland at home against Carolina or take the Jets against Cincy?

I'm on it. I'll have an answer for you in 30 minutes.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

How can you guys only have a single "I got rejected by some random chick" story?

Why would some chick ever reject me?

Ellen: "Well, I'd be disappointed if we stayed indoors all night."Wang: "No, I meant... like do you wa-"Ellen: "I know what you meant..."

Haha.

Wang: [must fill silence] "What do you think the coolest bean is?"

Well?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Quack:What teams have you used?How many people are left in the league?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Well?

I've thought about this for at least 100 hours since I first posed that question, and I am not even close to answering it. I eventually settled on the Velvet Bean -- or as I call it, the Namath Bean -- but I've never really been happy with that answer.

[mk 11]

This MARKET is making me THIRSTY

[mk 11]

Sorry. All my kids are good.

harts

You can act like a man?

feel like this could be an appropriate response to everything speedz/wangs write in the thread these daysno offense

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I don't have any good rejection stories but mainly cause I never talk to girls.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I don't have any good rejection stories but mainly cause I never talk to girls.

It sounds like vb's "friend" should have hundreds.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

Is JLL talking about Jeter? I have no idea what that means. Also, if the Yankees don't take care of Jeter and let him go, my short career of rooting for them would be over and I will start rooting 100% twins.Edit: nvm. I forgot about his earlier story.

[Tactical Bear 3]

hartsfeel like this could be an appropriate response to everything speedz/wangs write in the thread these daysno offense

I've been ignoring you for a while, but come on, man. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't care that you're being a dick; I care that you're doing it just to be a dick. You're not being entertaining. You're not being funny. You're just... being a dick. For some reason, you have decided that I MUST BE STOPPED, and, to that end, you are acting like a total fucking asshole. If you want to be a dick, go ahead, just please -- for the love of God, man, please! -- step your game up a little. "Wang is a bitch" is probably the most tired "joke" in the thread, so can you just try to be more original in the future? Tampons? Be a man? Come on. You're so much better than that. What's really going on here, Mike? Because I refuse to believe that's the best you can do.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

Is JLL talking about Jeter? I have no idea what that means. Also, if the Yankees don't take care of Jeter and let him go, my short career of rooting for them would be over and I will start rooting 100% twins.Edit: nvm. I forgot about his earlier story.

Heh. That was a weird place you just went to.Funny line I heard about the Jeter contract situation: "They should pay him in intangibles."

[speedz99 145]

Wang: [must fill silence] "What do you think the coolest bean is?"

Yikes.

It's that fear of rejection that subtly influences how we behave, that gets us all tightened-up and tizzied. Remove that fear, and it's way less likely that you'll get rejected, oddly enough, even if you're hoping to get rejected.

My problem isn't typically fear of rejection, it's fear of acceptance followed by a fairly quick realization that I've made a huge mistake followed by weeks of faking it followed by a painful breakup.

God I miss this place so much. That "no laptop until Christmas" prop-bet was the worst decision I've ever made.

Yes it was. And a selfish one at that.

1) I am also exceptionally proud of my written correspondence skillz. I put an absurd amount of effort responding to work-related emails and the like. When I respond to PMs (shall not apply until Christmas, assuming I win this prop), I usually just go off. (sigh) I thought I was the only one, Speedzie.

It's a blessing and a curse, but mostly a blessing. And it's why I'm going with the advice to just not respond to the girl.

Why would some chick ever reject me?

Well done.

[CaneBrain 95]

Heh. That was a weird place you just went to.Funny line I heard about the Jeter contract situation: "They should pay him in intangibles."

awesome.btw, don't dislocate anything patting yourself on the shoulder for making great baseball awards predictions in mid-september.gah, that seems unnecessary; I'm so bitter about the Heat it's affecting my mood.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

btw, don't dislocate anything patting yourself on the shoulder for making great baseball awards predictions in mid-september.

But, but this was the post I was replying to when I made my predictions and nailed every single one:

Secondofalso, I think all the awards this year are extremely contested. Can you say with any certainty who is going to win what?

[CaneBrain 95]

But, but this was the post I was replying to when I made my predictions and nailed every single one:

like I said it was unnecessary and just me being in a foul mood because the Heat suck, my back hurts, and I have to fly to New Jersey tonight which should be a delight.nailing every one (especially knowing baseball writers would not be stupid per usual and give the AL Cy Young to CC) was pretty good. I couldn't name a rookie from the AL that matters either.

[Lolli 0]

Hmmm, I forget how this link thing works again. I wonder if I did this right.Edit- nope that didn't work.Hmmm, let's try this:http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,...2032684,00.html

[strategy 4]

so anyway, as I was saying, I'm really goddamn cool and not too many people get to talk to me.last night, I played a few super high elo league of legends matches with this group of asians. they can't speak english worth a damn and communicate by pinging certain areas of the map. apparently these people have a modicum of respect for me, but wow are they just a superior race in general when it comes to gaming. I'd go to ping something to raise attention to it and be the third person to do it with what I thought was pretty good response time.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

so anyway, as I was saying, I'm really goddamn cool and not too many people get to talk to me.last night, I played a few super high elo league of legends matches with this group of asians. they can't speak english worth a damn and communicate by pinging certain areas of the map. apparently these people have a modicum of respect for me, but wow are they just a superior race in general when it comes to gaming. I'd go to ping something to raise attention to it and be the third person to do it with what I thought was pretty good response time.

is this a test? because I already have your email address.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

I've been ignoring you for a while, but come on, man. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't care that you're being a dick; I care that you're doing it just to be a dick. You're not being entertaining. You're not being funny. You're just... being a dick. For some reason, you have decided that I MUST BE STOPPED, and, to that end, you are acting like a total fucking asshole. If you want to be a dick, go ahead, just please -- for the love of God, man, please! -- step your game up a little. "Wang is a bitch" is probably the most tired "joke" in the thread, so can you just try to be more original in the future? Tampons? Be a man? Come on. You're so much better than that. What's really going on here, Mike? Because I refuse to believe that's the best you can do.

Drama!

[vbnautilus 48]

Hmmm, I forget how this link thing works again. I wonder if I did this right.Edit- nope that didn't work.Hmmm, let's try this:http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,...2032684,00.html

I could imagine these audio tracks being interesting, but after listening to a couple of them, I have determined that this guy is just horrible at this and should stop doing it.

[Tactical Bear 3]

You know what makes me sad? That actress chick isn't even that hot. I wanted to post a picture of her, but her head is simply too big. Seriously, it dwarfs the rest of her being entirely.