I Called In Sick Today

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

so..... not blowjobs?

You obviously skipped the part where we have make up sex.

George: I didn't have any sex.Jerry: You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex? I mean that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.George: I didn't have make-up sex.Jerry: In your situation the only sex you're going to have better than make-up sex is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.George: Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening!

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

Failing to quote my post proves that.

Hey, are you watching baseball right now?Edit: Let's pretend I asked that question while he was still online.

[El Guapo 8]

Hey, are you watching baseball right now?

Holy shit, I had to check that you were probably asking that for a reason.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

Holy shit, I had to check that you were probably asking that for a reason.

Wow, he did it.Roy Halladay pitches no-hitter in his first playoff game. (Sorry Rando.)

[ShakeZuma 585]

so the most exciting possibility in baseball is when absolutely nothing happens. cool sport.

[Skeleton Jelly 2]

so the most exciting possibility in baseball is when absolutely nothing happens. cool sport.

Well the most exciting possibility in YOUR FACE is when...SHUT UP!

[Theraflu 1,035]

so the most exciting possibility in baseball is when absolutely nothing happens. cool sport.

Just because you're too simple to understand the art of pitching doesn't mean its not awesome.

[ShakeZuma 585]

you'd think I'd told speedz that kittens are ugly

[Shimmering Wang 1]

I as the girl? First I may try to test boyfriend by asking in a casual way if he has ever kept stuff from a previous relationship. This gives an opportunity to raise the subject without drawing criticism for snooping, and even if he guesses what my inspiration was he is likely too busy defending himself to scold me. Now either he lies - go to step 2 -,  evades the question - go to step 2 -, or tells the truth - go to step 3Step 2: rather than ask directly i might concoct a lie. I was looking for something reasonable and happened to look in the drawer. I saw the ex junk. If he previously lied he may lie again (forgot it was there) - bad idea. I will persist until it becomes an argument  If he evaded he should now realise the jig is up and commence with damage control since evading is no longer an option, and lying will be handled as above. Step 3: communication/the argument. Either we have a relatively rational yet rather fraught discussion about why he keeps the stuff there - or we have a big fight about it where everything is conflated. In the former case, we may come to a compromise - he apologises and promises to get rid of the stuff etc, make up sex commences, we both make an effort for a few days. In the latter case he probably ends up making me feel guilty for snooping. I cry a lot and end up apologising to him, but later feel bitter about letting him switch things around. Unlikely scenario unless the hypothetical story is really about Wang, Jenny and maggie: the boyfriend is honest and says he still has feelings for the ex but knows it can never work. I am terribly hurt and we break up. Unless he makes a huge effort we do not get back together. 

Except for the last bit, there, I am sending this to Maggs. Very well elucidated, and I'm pretty sure when she calls me upset I will be able to continue the thread of your logic. Thanks.This really has nothing to do with me. I have all sorts of stuff from my ex-girlfriends -- letters, cards, pictures -- but it's all box clearly labeled "SLUTS." A girl asked me why I kept it, once, and I explained to her that my past is a crucial part of my present, blah blah blah. She was unhappy with that answer, which is why there are 3 pictures and two cards from her in the "SLUTS" box. Jenny actually saw the box, and didn't give a fat fuck. She asked if there were naked pictures, and when I said, "What no," we had some pizza. Jenny is awesome. I should break up with her.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Jenny and I had this conversation earlier:Jenny: "Anyway, so what did you do last night?"Wang: "Ah, Maggs was pretty upset so I took her to Mike's, got her lit, and spent 30 bucks on the jukebox."Jenny: "Oh..."Wang: "Uh-oh. What does that Oh mean?"Jenny: "Look, if I tell you something, can you not accuse me of being irrational?"Wang: "That depends on the rationality content."Jenny: "Wang..."Wang: "Fine, fine. I'll be serious."Jenny: "So, look, one of the reasons I wanted to hang out with Maggie is that I know you guys are close. I saw you together all the time on campus, and I remember when you were dating she was really into you."Wang: "What? How did you know that?"Jenny: "Oh, I was in the computer lab one day and she was sitting next to me and talking to my friend Sandy. She was gushing."Wang: "...okay."Jenny: "You guys were always together, even when you weren't dating, and I know I can trust you, but I just wanted to know if this girl was going to be a threat, okay?"Wang: "So you pretended to be friends with my ex-girlfriend so you could see if she was going to try to, like, spite bang me?"Jenny: "I didn't pretend. I like her."Wang: "...okay."Jenny: "It's just that... I get the feeling she might still be into you. When she talks about you, she tells me you're one of her favorite people and that she loves you as a friend and that you're really important to her, and it seems like maybe... am I being weird?"Wang: "No, not really, but you're wrong. We're not like that. Even if she did have feelings for me, just trust me. Nothing will ever happen."Jenny: "I do trust you, it's just that... it makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel like, you know, if you had to choose between us...."Wang: [incredibly frustrated, annoyed, tired] "Well don't ask me to choose, then."[silence]Wang: "I... what I meant to say was that I would never ask you to not be friends with..."[silence]Wang: "I love you."Jenny: "Did you really just say that?"Wang: "Yeah, I'm making it worse, aren't I?"[silence]Wang: "Hey, I gotta run. Maggie's on the other line."Jenny: "You have to be fucking kidding me."Wang: "Of course I'm kidding. Dinner tonight?"No dinner, but drinks in about an hour. How do you guys feel about the "back-against-the-wall, knee-jerk 'I LOVE YOU'" I just dropped in there? First time.

[El Guapo 8]

It would have been better if you said you less than three her.

[Theraflu 1,035]

Was it LG who called that she was befriending her for that very reason? I know someone had it pretty much on the button. Also, the "Well, don't ask me to choose, then." was way, way worse than the "I love you."

[Tiltinagain 973]

What I find almost as interesting as Wang's dialogue stories is that he actually pays enough attention to what the GF is sayingthat he can remember it well enough to recount it here, for our ammusement.

[Theraflu 1,035]

What I find almost as interesting as Wang's dialogue stories is that he actually pays enough attention to what the GF is sayingthat he can remember it well enough to recount it here, for our ammusement.

He takes liberties.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

What I find almost as interesting as Wang's dialogue stories is that he actually pays enough attention to what the GF is sayingthat he can remember it well enough to recount it here, for our ammusement.

I take liberties. I clean up the language and condense everything, and sometimes I'll just straight invent a transition or something. The lines I remember get repeated word-for-word, as do the important bits. The closer something is to the denouement/climax, the more likely it is to be a literal transcription.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Ya know, I honestly believe our friend Wang puts more thought into relationships in one day that I have my entire life...Well...that might be fibbing a little, but an hour just seemed wrong no matter how much closer to the truth it actually isNot that there is anything wrong with it.... Im all for someone other than myself dealing with stuff like that. It makes for some damn fine entertainment, especially when youre fortunate enough to witness it in a public setting. The blacks do it better than anyone else, though... some of the best "spats" ever came from the place Im headed to this Friday.(Beans and wife pulls up and parks at a Fitzgeralds twenty one table being dealt by large black woman in her mid thirties)"So how yous alla doin this evnin?""Not bad...yet""Well hon....lemme tell ya...changin fo hunnad wifha playas card....you dont wanna be in my shoes this evenin thats fo damn shore"(Beans dismisses any hope for a trip to the cage after session)Wife: "Im sorry to hear that....what happened?"(Beans observes entire pit crew drop their heads and groan at the same exact moment)"I need a waitress""Jus likea man...changin fee hunnad wift a card....alwaysa lookin fo a woman thats got sometin theys a wantin...wanna cut hon....but juz letum get ax ta talk bout how wez a feelin an they runs out lika banny roosta wift his heads cut off....inshorance?""Dont got it....my man Russ done done me wrong fo the last tine tonite....fifteeen....sixteeen.....sorry....I beena watchin that boy fer quite some time now an....twelve....sorry....he done got caught red handed....eleven....ouch....wift that priss down there at Hollowood....fifteen.....too many....that been afta him since dat ca show they had back in Febwary""WAITRESS!""He drank like this all da time hon?""Yeah""I coudnt deal wift dat....did fer fo and a half year....doublin soft sebenteen....ooo dat ugly.....dumped his ass fo a so-call preacha man....forteen....too many....dat bum was....shuffa!.... worst than da last...""Maybe you should consider taking your mind off men and start playing this game professionally....on this side of the table""Dont get me started on da gamblin.....cut?.....I done been thar done dat ya hear....inshorance?....I hooks up wift this one ole boy....got it dis tine....he hada foo poof sistin that...."Of course we both lost our buy ins....I hadnt thought about Cynthia or that session for many years for some reason until now. Maybe Wang and her have figured out something the rest of us havent yet...Relationship problems=unheard of luck at gambling/sportsbetting?Just to test the theory Im going to get into a big fight with the wife right before heading to the tables Friday eveningIll keep you all posted...

[AmScray 355]

Know what's good?8X5 index cards. One can pretty much accomplish anything with them.We live our entire lives dealing with 3X5 cards, then one day, we learn of 8X5 and it's like "Jesus Christ! Why in gods name have we been wasting our time with that other bullshit?"

[speedz99 145]

How do you guys feel about the "back-against-the-wall, knee-jerk 'I LOVE YOU'" I just dropped in there?

Pretty good.

Know what's good?8X5 index cards. One can pretty much accomplish anything with them.We live our entire lives dealing with 3X5 cards, then one day, we learn of 8X5 and it's like "Jesus Christ! Why in gods name have we been wasting our time with that other bullshit?"

I spent most of my higher education working with 3X5 cards, but about a month ago I discovered the larger cards and fell in love. Then, last week, I decided to just go all the way, and instead of flashcards made study sheets on computer paper, and it was amazing. Worked like a charm.

[loogie 115]

Wang needs to really up the masturbation.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Wang needs to really up the masturbation.

Way ahead of you there, pardner. I'm already at two, and I haven't even pulled the ol' pre-bed pull, yet. Waaaaay ahead of you.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Know what's good?8X5 index cards. One can pretty much accomplish anything with them.We live our entire lives dealing with 3X5 cards, then one day, we learn of 8X5 and it's like "Jesus Christ! Why in gods name have we been wasting our time with that other bullshit?"

I spent most of my higher education working with 3X5 cards, but about a month ago I discovered the larger cards and fell in love. Then, last week, I decided to just go all the way, and instead of flashcards made study sheets on computer paper, and it was amazing. Worked like a charm.

What the fuck do you guys use notecards for? I mean, seriously, I've never used a notecard in my life. I think I tried to write a speech on them, once, but then I realized: hey, regular paper just works so much better. Index cards are just... are you guys leaving yourselves little notes? Or marking pages? You know who uses notecards? Fucking bitches. I'm sorry. I don't... know why I have reacted so strongly. (Perhaps because: you're such fucking bitches?)

[El Guapo 8]

Recipes, Wang. Recipes.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Recipes, Wang. Recipes.

Paper, Guapo. Fucking normal-sized fucking paper.

[AmScray 355]

What the fuck do you guys use notecards for? I mean, seriously, I've never used a notecard in my life. I think I tried to write a speech on them, once, but then I realized: hey, regular paper just works so much better. Index cards are just... are you guys leaving yourselves little notes? Or marking pages? You know who uses notecards? Fucking bitches. I'm sorry. I don't... know why I have reacted so strongly. (Perhaps because: you're such fucking bitches?)

At last count, I own 1,3xx domain names. Most are very solid .com generics (bought back in 'the olden days' when such things were affordable), with a smattering of premium .net, .org, .us, one or two .tv's, a lone .info, a couple .co.uk's... you get the idea. Associated with each domain name is a goodly bit of relevant information.When it was registered, its registration history, how long my renewal fees are paid up for... How did I acquire it? Some, I hand-registered back when good names were available. Others, I bought on the aftermarket via sodomizing clueless sellers. Others, I found 'just sitting there', usually as old drops while yet others, I engaged in what's called 'dropcatching' with my desktop API program. Others, I paid professional dropcatching services to acquire for me. Some came in prerelease auctions, some in drop auctions, some in open market auctions, some came in closeout sales, etc, etc, etc... Each has a cost basis (as far as what I initially paid), a running investment baseline (how much I've paid to renew it over the years) and a cost to carry (how much I must pay each year to renew it)Most all of these domains receive type-in traffic, from which a nigga get pait when those direct-navigators click on my ads. I have cost per click, overall traffic volume, the source of my traffic (what countries its coming from) and how much the name is earning, relative to its upkeep.Some of this traffic I sell directly to relevant parties. I have to keep track of end-users who contact me direct, in addition to all data associated with them so I can be sure to torque their balls for the most possible money. I have my assessments and appraisals of each name, which is a whole thing unto itself. It's very qualitative, sometimes, with hastily drawn diagrams. ... and those are just the ones that are undeveloped. Several are developed- some lightly with minisites, some with midscale affiliate stores, some are balls-out full scale. From that, I have the entire world of real-time internet data to keep watch over. The analytics here are intense.Then, there's the 'money' aspect. Since the digital breadcrumbs aren't exactly simple to leave behind, I have to pay taxes on every time that comes in and hopefully, write off as much as possible (my tax forms are a joke. On any given day, I'm counting out pennies to buy smokes or barely making rent, yet I have passive income that goes out as fast or faster than it comes in. My bootstrapping ethic borders on outright mental illness. My children will thank me. I'll be the old man who dies in a roach infested clapboard shack, with three tons of gold buried in the back yard) There is a shitload of data to manage in what I do and if I weren't blessed with such a superhuman intellect, it would all be overwhelming, since I'm engaged in almost every facet of these names and their development, unlike a pure-play domain investor who only concerns himself with cost, parking and end-user sales. 100% of this data is coordinated digitally, some with a few programs I designed (and paid gooks to build, per the natural order of the races. We think of up, they deal with the details, we profit most). All the relevant metricities are quite tidy... and with all that said, I still get the most use out of free-forming my thoughts onto index cards. Prior to my discovering 8X5 cards, I used 3X5 cards, in some cases, multiple cards stapled together to represent one single name. Now? It's ridiculous. It's like a whole new world of empty space, upon which I can write things that make my life easier.I reference things faster, the 'big picture' is clearer. Maybe it's a tactile issue, I don't know, but they work. They go in little wooden boxes with tabs that help me find shit quickly and since my interpretation of data flows from my brain as a confluence of images, numbers and words, being able to write it down is far more efficient than using a computer. Faggot.

[vbnautilus 48]

Scram probably uses them to practice his penmanship.