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I Called In Sick Today

turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
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strategy

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LOTS of nudity herethis quote from a review of another piece from her tells you everything you need to know about the director:"This reached a nadir when Ms. Young, some 85 minutes into the show, failed to defecate on cue, despite having given an advance interview advertising her ability to do so. "
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strategy

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Cute sloth:Also, since when did youtube allow such flagrant boobs?
he looks very savvyit's ART. boobs are fine as long as it's ART. actually they also allowed total nudity for an instructional CPR video. and probably lots of other stuff that I don't know about yet.
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timwakefield

timwakefield 68

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Even though she's completely naked and not horrifically ugly, I can only watch for about 20 seconds before I have to turn it off out of empathetic humiliation.
it's ART.
Is it possible for a work of art to be so objectively poor that it's not even art, it actually just falls in the category of "shit?"Also I can't believe how many people there are at the performances.
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strategy

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Even though she's completely naked and not horrifically ugly, I can only watch for about 20 seconds before I have to turn it off out of empathetic humiliation.
that video made me briefly consider the possibility that my life is not on the right track.
Is it possible for a work of art to be so objectively poor that it's not even art, it actually just falls in the category of "shit?"Also I can't believe how many people there are at the performances.
so you watched the spaghettios video as well?the best part about the audiences this nutjob gets? they CLAP as if they've just witnessed something other than total nonsense.
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Sickinfo2

Sickinfo2 291

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Just a word or two of advice for those of you considering attending a "naughty schoolgirl" or "girls gone wild" event in the state of Arkansas...Prepare yourself beforehand by reviewing the people of WalMart website. If you still intend to go after that, make sure that your blood alcohol level is in the low to mid teensStop by the nearest toy store and purchase a farmer says see-n-say... you will still have your voice the next day from all the mooing at the contestants...Plan to witness two styles of breasts.... fried egg or jersey heifer varieties. No in between...Interestingly enough, womens asses in Arkansas are somehow or another all hail damaged much like the hood of an automobile after a bad storm. Shane and I are now involved in developing a flexible Bondo for human use. We figure that we can get a humanitarian grant with no problem Ever wonder why those girls are so wild? Meth is what we figureOverall, it was a good time.... I havent laughed that hard in months. Shane was absolutely on fire with the jokes....an absolute nonstop stream of short bus and special olympic style comments from beginning to endOnly one minor altercation with one of the contestants boyfriends occurred but it was quickly diffused by an even uglier girl appearing right after. Shane donned his shades and did a perfect Ray Charles impression....(head swaying side to side)"TAT DA MOST BEAUTIMEST GAL I EVA DONE SEED!"Next trip report....homemade bathing suit contest in a week or two

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ShakeZuma

ShakeZuma 585

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Just a word or two of advice for those of you considering attending a "naughty schoolgirl" or "girls gone wild" event in the state of Arkansas...
what's got two thumbs, posts in this thread, and would have probably gone home with one of them?but yeah, my favorite two famous females right now are kim kardashian and lindsey lohan. something happened to me along the way I have to assume.and strat, I'd be all for a massive socialist government takeover if they promised to get rid of shit like that. where's a khmer rouge when you need one?
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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I'm so fucking stressed out I have no idea what to do with myself. I have a that neuro exam on monday and am nowhere near ready enough for this point in the week, plus we've had four lecture hours in the past two days that have piled up even more shit for me to learn. I should be studying noon-midnight friday and 10-12 hours on both saturday and sunday, but instead I have to spend friday afternoon driving 3 hours to a wedding to get there just in time for the rehearsal, which will be followed by the rehearsal dinner and then a bonfire. Saturday we have wedding activities starting at noon, with only a few hours off before the ceremony and reception. Sunday we have the brunch and then another 3 hour drive. I can't skip any of this shit because he's one of my closest friends and I'm in the wedding, plus this isn't really a group of friends that would understand the fact that I'm legitimately in danger of bombing the test and putting myself in position to fail the course, which would be horrible on many levels, the worst being that I could have to repeat the year. Plus the general obnoxiousness of the fact that at the moment that whole group of friends has significant others, so all I'll be hearing is about what girl at the wedding I should try to bang, while I try to hide the fact that I'm not drinking and can't wait to slip away so I can get some work done. Oh, also I'm dirt poor, especially after the fact that this guy's bachelor party ended up costing $500 instead of the promised $200, so I pretty much have to crash on someone's floor, so it'll be that much harder to get work done in a room full of 5 people and I'll get very little, shitty sleep.Good times.

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Roll the Bones

Roll the Bones 74

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I'm so fucking stressed out I have no idea what to do with myself. I have a that neuro exam on monday and am nowhere near ready enough for this point in the week, plus we've had four lecture hours in the past two days that have piled up even more shit for me to learn. I should be studying noon-midnight friday and 10-12 hours on both saturday and sunday, but instead I have to spend friday afternoon driving 3 hours to a wedding to get there just in time for the rehearsal, which will be followed by the rehearsal dinner and then a bonfire. Saturday we have wedding activities starting at noon, with only a few hours off before the ceremony and reception. Sunday we have the brunch and then another 3 hour drive. I can't skip any of this shit because he's one of my closest friends and I'm in the wedding, plus this isn't really a group of friends that would understand the fact that I'm legitimately in danger of bombing the test and putting myself in position to fail the course, which would be horrible on many levels, the worst being that I could have to repeat the year. Plus the general obnoxiousness of the fact that at the moment that whole group of friends has significant others, so all I'll be hearing is about what girl at the wedding I should try to bang, while I try to hide the fact that I'm not drinking and can't wait to slip away so I can get some work done. Oh, also I'm dirt poor, especially after the fact that this guy's bachelor party ended up costing $500 instead of the promised $200, so I pretty much have to crash on someone's floor, so it'll be that much harder to get work done in a room full of 5 people and I'll get very little, shitty sleep.Good times.
Sucks, but take solace in the fact you aren't the girl/man/bear in Mojo's video.
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mk

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Good times.
Some of this is humiliating, but here's what I'd do:1.) Suck it up and ask parents for money for a hotel room. Explain the situation and that you need to study, hopefully they're understanding. Surely your parents would rather pay $200 for a weekend of hotel stays rather than have you on the hook for an entire year of tuition and room and board.2.) Fake an illness early Friday night after arriving for the rehearsal. This will exempt you from a lot of Friday night and early Saturday activities and making excuses for not drinking. You could really make this run through the wedding and try to bail early Saturday night as well.3.) Remember, it's all about the voltage-gated calcium ion channels.
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JoeyJoJo

JoeyJoJo 18

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Some of this is humiliating, but here's what I'd do:1.) Suck it up and ask parents for money for a hotel room. Explain the situation and that you need to study, hopefully they're understanding. Surely your parents would rather pay $200 for a weekend of hotel stays rather than have you on the hook for an entire year of tuition and room and board.2.) Fake an illness early Friday night after arriving for the rehearsal. This will exempt you from a lot of Friday night and early Saturday activities and making excuses for not drinking. You could really make this run through the wedding and try to bail early Saturday night as well.3.) Remember, it's all about the voltage-gated calcium ion channels.
1.) I think it would be tough to ask for money when you spent it on bachelor party stuff.2.) Sounds good to me.3.) I think you stole that from Star Wars.
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JubilantLankyLad

JubilantLankyLad 1,957

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I'm not going to lie. That last video was really disappointing. I wanted to watch that chick shit all over the stage but instead the camera kept showing people watching her and pretending to be moved. I might as well be watching 2 Girls 1 Cup reaction videos. Two Thumbs down.

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speedz99

speedz99 145

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Some of this is humiliating, but here's what I'd do:1.) Suck it up and ask parents for money for a hotel room. Explain the situation and that you need to study, hopefully they're understanding. Surely your parents would rather pay $200 for a weekend of hotel stays rather than have you on the hook for an entire year of tuition and room and board.2.) Fake an illness early Friday night after arriving for the rehearsal. This will exempt you from a lot of Friday night and early Saturday activities and making excuses for not drinking. You could really make this run through the wedding and try to bail early Saturday night as well.3.) Remember, it's all about the voltage-gated calcium ion channels.
I appreciate the thoughts.1. I was thinking about this...it's actually more like $450 for the weekend to get a room. They already help me out, I don't think I can feel ok about asking them for that much when I should just suck it up and find a quiet spot somewhere in the hotel to study.2. They won't buy it. Being sick as an excuse would be even less acceptable to them, plus they know me well enough to know I'm lying.3. Heh...yeah, there's a bit of that on this exam, like 1/500th of the material, just as review from last year.
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strategy

strategy 4

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I'm not going to lie. That last video was really disappointing. I wanted to watch that chick shit all over the stage but instead the camera kept showing people watching her and pretending to be moved. I might as well be watching 2 Girls 1 Cup reaction videos. Two Thumbs down.
yeah I mean, if it's not all zoom-ins on naked hand-stand splits, it's just not ouch8s material
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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OR YOU COULD STUDY INSTEAD OF POSTING IN THE SICK THREAD
You know what makes me a little sad? That nobody's been like, "Hey speedz, what's with the fact that you haven't been posting much for the past few weeks? IS EVERYTHING OK?"
I shouldn't have yelled (yelt? LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN) at speedz. I used the sick thread for pre-exam stress relief about a billion times over the years.
It happens.
Yeah, that should do the trick in driving speedz away.
Hey.
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