I Called In Sick Today

[zimmer4141 0]

Merry Christmas Faggots!

[Theraflu 1,035]

Why Doc Rivers has grown on me as a head coach (From Rotoworld):Glen Davis (broken thumb) could be activated for Friday's game against the Magic.Coach Doc Rivers said Davis "went through the whole practice [Thursday]. He sucked but he didn't injure himself, so that's good."

[speedz99 145]

My parents went from trying to do the menorah thing, to actually getting a christmas tree, to movies and chinese food. I liked the christmas tree years best.

Really? They actually went with having a fake christmas? I mean, I like spending christmas with the goys as much as the next jew, but that's weird to me.

We used to do the whole movie/chinese food thing. Then, when I got older, I started playing golf on Xmas day every year because the course was so empty. Heaven. This year we are lounging in Key West.....driving down tomorrow then relaxing and drinking all weekend. Weeeeeee.

That's pretty much perfect.On a similar note, the first time I broke 90 was when I played in Arizona on a 115 degree father's day. I played an amazing course, with a cart that has a fan blowing cold air on the back of the driver's neck, was the only one out there, and had an incredible round (at least compared to how I usually played at the time).

He'd find out faster if you made this your Facebook status.

Awesome. Just...yes.

I am roasting a turkey breast and have a pan of raisen stuffing for later along with a pumpkin spice cake dessert.

The dark meat is the best part. Just saying.

[vbnautilus 48]

Really? They actually went with having a fake christmas? I mean, I like spending christmas with the goys as much as the next jew, but that's weird to me.

I think they were probably just giving in to our demands. It went from a 7 day hannukah, to a "one-day" hannukah, to a hannukah with a fake tree in the room, which we called christmas. But if they weren't such lame jews I might never have escaped judaism.

[speedz99 145]

I think they were probably just giving in to our demands. It went from a 7 day hannukah, to a "one-day" hannukah, to a hannukah with a fake tree in the room, which we called christmas.

Yeah, this is weird. I don't care and to each his own, it's just weird to me in general.

But if they weren't such lame jews I might never have escaped judaism.

My parents were good jews and I made it out ok. I mean, not out completely, I still eat a lot of food on the holidays, but you know what I mean. All one needs to escape religion is either a strong sense of individualism or a healthy amount of apathy towards disappointing one's family.

[strategy 4]

.

[Sickinfo2 291]

My gift arrived earlier today at its designated address, which is home to a good hearted fellow named Tony. I sorta look out for the guy by hauling firewood for his heater, loan a few bucks here and there, replace toilets that falls thru the floor, and things of that nature. In return, he allows potentially explosive packages to be sent to his house intended for me. It works pretty well, as long as you disregard the incident involving the two stripper sisters and the poorly installed porch swing four years agoI hadnt seen the guy in a few days so the first thing I did this morning was head over there to check in on him. When I entered the trailer, he was sitting almost directly on top of the wood stove drinking a beer..."Mornin Tonya""Heeeeey Beans! Comon in""You cold?""Little bit...damn weathermen is callin fera biggin a comin in this evenin""Its fifty degrees out""I got chilled justa thinkin bout it....hehehe""Yeah...uh, that package is due in today sometime....you gonna be around?""Yeeeh....I wasa justa gonna call ya....it got dropped off bout n hour ago"(hands me a large, already-opened envelope from JJJ inc)"I figgered it was fer me...sorry bout that!""Was it ticking or anything?""Not thisin....some sorta book in there"(gives me funny look)"Uh.... (peeks inside)....its a movie script""LOOKS LIKA GOODIN!"After drinking a few Miller breakfast shakes with Tony, I made my way back home to investigate the contents....What I found was an almost complete documentation of my time spent here on the forum. One hundred and fifteen color pages beginning with a Foreword to the Foreword followed by the Foreword, written by our very own Shimmering Wang. I would love to repeat every word, but unfortunately time does not allow at the moment. "When JoeyJoJo asked me to write the foreword to his Beans Anthology, my first reaction was an unfamiliar one: sheer, unadulterated terror""Over the next seventy two hours, I came up with a few interesting ideas, none of which worked right""My bedroom was lined with crumpled balls of yellow legal paper, and my laptops recycle bin was peppered with Word documents"After reading the foreword to the foreword and the foreword at least ten times, I closely examined the nine chapters that followed, which contained almost every toon, caricature, and MSPaint project that I have "penned" along with JJJ's comments and the detailed history behind each one. In the epilogue, Mr. JoJo further humbled me by saying..."It's my hope that others will enjoy this collection as much as I both enjoyed it the first time around and in the revisiting of it. But more than anything, I hope beans enjoys flipping through them again along with the understanding of just how much he is appreciated"I was floored. I still am. I will be for a great long time. Not by my "works" of course, but by the time and effort expended by these two for showing appreciation for, of all people.... me. Im sure this will sound silly to some and made up to others, but so help me, I could not have asked for or received a better gift. Outstanding. I thank you from the bottom of my heartIn other news, Tonya was right.... its freezing cold with snow and ice building up fast. I just returned from racing my friend around an icy subdivision nearby. BeansCam footage to follow

[Voldemort 0]

My gift arrived earlier today at its designated address, which is home to a good hearted fellow named Tony. I sorta look out for the guy by hauling firewood for his heater, loan a few bucks here and there, replace toilets that falls thru the floor, and things of that nature. In return, he allows potentially explosive packages to be sent to his house intended for me. It works pretty well, as long as you disregard the incident involving the two stripper sisters and the poorly installed porch swing four years agoI hadnt seen the guy in a few days so the first thing I did this morning was head over there to check in on him. When I entered the trailer, he was sitting almost directly on top of the wood stove drinking a beer..."Mornin Tonya""Heeeeey Beans! Comon in""You cold?""Little bit...damn weathermen is callin fera biggin a comin in this evenin""Its fifty degrees out""I got chilled justa thinkin bout it....hehehe""Yeah...uh, that package is due in today sometime....you gonna be around?""Yeeeh....I wasa justa gonna call ya....it got dropped off bout n hour ago"(hands me a large, already-opened envelope from JJJ inc)"I figgered it was fer me...sorry bout that!""Was it ticking or anything?""Not thisin....some sorta book in there"(gives me funny look)"Uh.... (peeks inside)....its a movie script""LOOKS LIKA GOODIN!"After drinking a few Miller breakfast shakes with Tony, I made my way back home to investigate the contents....What I found was an almost complete documentation of my time spent here on the forum. One hundred and fifteen color pages beginning with a Foreword to the Foreword followed by the Foreword, written by our very own Shimmering Wang. I would love to repeat every word, but unfortunately time does not allow at the moment. "When JoeyJoJo asked me to write the foreword to his Beans Anthology, my first reaction was an unfamiliar one: sheer, unadulterated terror""Over the next seventy two hours, I came up with a few interesting ideas, none of which worked right""My bedroom was lined with crumpled balls of yellow legal paper, and my laptops recycle bin was peppered with Word documents"After reading the foreword to the foreword and the foreword at least ten times, I closely examined the nine chapters that followed, which contained almost every toon, caricature, and MSPaint project that I have "penned" along with JJJ's comments and the detailed history behind each one. In the epilogue, Mr. JoJo further humbled me by saying..."It's my hope that others will enjoy this collection as much as I both enjoyed it the first time around and in the revisiting of it. But more than anything, I hope beans enjoys flipping through them again along with the understanding of just how much he is appreciated"I was floored. I still am. I will be for a great long time. Not by my "works" of course, but by the time and effort expended by these two for showing appreciation for, of all people.... me. Im sure this will sound silly to some and made up to others, but so help me, I could not have asked for or received a better gift. Outstanding. I thank you from the bottom of my heartIn other news, Tonya was right.... its freezing cold with snow and ice building up fast. I just returned from racing my friend around an icy subdivision nearby. BeansCam footage to follow

This is fantastic!Nice job fellas!

[El Guapo 8]

If JJJ put as much effort into work as he does the internet, he could probably be CFO of a fortune 500 company.So tonight we did our big Christmas eve bang with my parents. We all went way way over board. There was no signs of a recession anywhere near the Guapo household.After we opened, literally a hundred or more presents, my parents as always bring out "the big gifts" This year "the big gifts" came in small boxes.The first was a little box of food from Harry and David, with a little card that is good for a weekend in Napa at a B&B with a 3 hour culinary class followed by a gourmet dinner.The next box included a Mickey Mouse book, video and card...and a fully paid 4 day trip to Disneyland for the entire family including my brother.These two gifts completely overshadowed the boat loads of crap my kids and us got.

[jeff_536 3]

If JJJ put as much effort into work as he does the internet, he could probably be CFO of a fortune 500 company.

What makes you think he isn't?Merry Christmas everyone. Happy Movie Day to Tribe members.

[Randy Reed 0]

Yeah, this is weird. I don't care and to each his own, it's just weird to me in general.My parents were good jews and I made it out ok. I mean, not out completely, I still eat a lot of food on the holidays, but you know what I mean. All one needs to escape religion is either a strong sense of individualism or a healthy amount of apathy towards disappointing one's family.

this line is so Speedzian and perfect.

whenever anyone mentions god in the household I like to insinuate that I haven't figured out the truth about santa yet.

I think i'm going to give that a whirl today. I just hope I can deliver it without sounding too cheesy. I think it has to come off as a dry, matter of fact comment, like "the poor elves who worked all year".

What I found was an almost complete documentation of my time spent here on the forum. One hundred and fifteen color pages beginning with a Foreword to the Foreword followed by the Foreword, written by our very own Shimmering Wang. I would love to repeat every word, but unfortunately time does not allow at the moment. "When JoeyJoJo asked me to write the foreword to his Beans Anthology, my first reaction was an unfamiliar one: sheer, unadulterated terror""Over the next seventy two hours, I came up with a few interesting ideas, none of which worked right""My bedroom was lined with crumpled balls of yellow legal paper, and my laptops recycle bin was peppered with Word documents"After reading the foreword to the foreword and the foreword at least ten times, I closely examined the nine chapters that followed, which contained almost every toon, caricature, and MSPaint project that I have "penned" along with JJJ's comments and the detailed history behind each one. In the epilogue, Mr. JoJo further humbled me by saying..."It's my hope that others will enjoy this collection as much as I both enjoyed it the first time around and in the revisiting of it. But more than anything, I hope beans enjoys flipping through them again along with the understanding of just how much he is appreciated"I was floored. I still am. I will be for a great long time. Not by my "works" of course, but by the time and effort expended by these two for showing appreciation for, of all people.... me. Im sure this will sound silly to some and made up to others, but so help me, I could not have asked for or received a better gift. Outstanding. I thank you from the bottom of my heart

Wow, that is very mpressive. I want a copy, oh hell we all do. We need a website to sell them so that we can all buy them. Hey, wait how about Joey Jo Jo? The guy the does the shirts? We could tie it in with the invite."Hey, you don't know us but we'd like to go into business. Will you sell something only we would buy back to us?"Beans, again, that gift is soo awesome and kudos to JJJ and Wang.

[CaneBrain 95]

Really? They actually went with having a fake christmas? I mean, I like spending christmas with the goys as much as the next jew, but that's weird to me.That's pretty much perfect.On a similar note, the first time I broke 90 was when I played in Arizona on a 115 degree father's day. I played an amazing course, with a cart that has a fan blowing cold air on the back of the driver's neck, was the only one out there, and had an incredible round (at least compared to how I usually played at the time).

my little sister was the one in the family who got Christmas envy so we always sent her to some friends to help decorate the tree and participate in Christmas. Now, she is dating a Southern Baptist. You HAVE to be careful.I always loved golfing on Xmas day. I even had one of my best days ever (75) on Xmas day about 5-6 years ago. But, I am much more excited to leave for Key West in t-minus two hours. The drive down is awesome and then I get to drink, eat, and nap for three days in PERFECT weather.I had some relatives in Tuscon, AZ that we used to visit when I was a kid. Arizona in the summer is awful. Once, it was 116 and you would burn your feet walking from the pool chair to the pool. So, you would have to take some water, splash it on your feet, and then run like mad to and from the pool. Not great times.My immediate family is reform Jewish so there was not much uproar when I stopped going to Temple or caring about Judiaism for a decade. However, my wife and I recently joined our old temple and go about once a month (more for networking and social stuff) and my parents are thrilled. So, maybe they were more disappointed than they let on. Now, that I am older and can daydream like a champ, temple is not so bad. And reform services are only 70-90 minutes long.

[Theraflu 1,035]

So you were really on the ball with this whole thing. I didn't mail mine out until yesterday.

You did alright yourself, sir. Great job.Mine came in the mail yesterday, although I'm not sure who it's from.Thanks, I should be able to get beer thrown on me again if I visit Yankee Stadium next year.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Happy Christmas, fag-faggots.I'm too lazy to read any of the thread, but if I know Joey, his gift has already been received by the recipient and mentioned. I was lucky enough to get an advance copy, and I've been carrying it around on my iPod and Blackberry for over a week now, reading random parts of it in my spare time. I had a (very, very, very, very) small role in the project -- I wrote about 100 words for it -- and it probably caused me more anxiety than anything I've ever done. I must have spent at least 5 hours scolding myself in the mirror, and another 5 resisting the urge to drink myself creative. My bedroom looked like an unearthed mass grave of murdered paper balls. I can't even imagine how much effort Joseph must have put in;. The final project is probably the best thing that has ever come out of FCP.

[speedz99 145]

This is fantastic!Nice job fellas!

Really? You really had to quote the entire thing? COME ON!

I had some relatives in Tuscon, AZ that we used to visit when I was a kid. Arizona in the summer is awful. Once, it was 116 and you would burn your feet walking from the pool chair to the pool. So, you would have to take some water, splash it on your feet, and then run like mad to and from the pool. Not great times.

Pussy.

The final project is probably the best thing that has ever come out of FCP.

I think we can take 90% of the credit for MDG's marriage...and I agree with you.

[speedz99 145]

Oh, yeah, Merry Christmas, Christians.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all made out like bandits. Or, in the case of El Guapo, like banditos. Or, in the case of the chosen people, like Brvheart. Or, in the case of you - that guy with no family and no friends, yes you, you know I'm talking to you - hope you survive until January.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I'm sure I'll make it; january's only a week away.

[CaneBrain 95]

Hey Speedz.....shut up.In key west. 79 and sunny. Having myself a daiquiri at the pool. Figuredout how to post by iPhone. Hopeall you suckers in the cold are surviving somehow. Randy, I would make sure to get down hereeventually for Xmas/new years. Justamazing.Heading to Mallory square in an hourto watch the sunset then gettingwasted at capt. Tony's. Then, friedshrimp and crab legs on the water.Wang...change your kicker. I want tothump you fair and square.

[hank213 1,823]

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all made out like bandits. Or, in the case of El Guapo, like banditos. Or, in the case of the chosen people, like Brvheart. Or, in the case of you - that guy with no family and no friends, yes you, you know I'm talking to you - hope you survive until January.

Aw thanks. It's nice to know someone out there cares enough to type.

I'm sure I'll make it; january's only a week away.

Shit. I should've known it wasn't for me. Think I'll go for a walk in the snow through the big maze out back.

[vbnautilus 48]

I just survived Christmas at the in-laws for the first time. Got some stories, but this is probably the best one: The wife's family is south Indian and they speak with heavy accents, when they do speak English. I was looking forward to the annual game of irivuda-ette (twenty-eight) which I have heard is a raucous time. Not long after coming in one of the Indian adults pulls me aside and asks me what I think is "are you going to play on the <unintelligible>?", to which I answer enthusiastically, "I SURE AM!!!". After these words come out of my mouth I realize what he really said, which was "are you going to pray on the food?". Ooooops. Soon the whole family gathers around the food in the dining room and when things get silent, this guys announces that I am going to do the prayer. What a terrible moment. I hem and haw, and eventually my wife steps in and saves me. I had warned her that I think I accidentally agreed to do some public praying. After some protesting, the guy gave the prayer instead of me. I have no idea what he said, it wasn't in English, but when he was done he decided that since I hadn't given the prayer, I should sing. Jesus F. Christ. I had to refuse again, extending the juicy awkwardness even longer. I do get a kick out of how psyched I must have seemed to want to pray.

[silkyjonson 1]

Happy holidays sickies!Religion!

[speedz99 145]

I didn't realize that southern india had a christian population.

[vbnautilus 48]

I didn't realize that southern india had a christian population.

it does.

[speedz99 145]

it does.

What flavor?