I Called In Sick Today

[Quacktastic 106]

Seriously, what is with these fathers? Your ONLY JOB IN LIFE at which you should try really, really, really hard to NOT fail is keeping your fucking daughter off the fucking pole. You can be a total fuckup at everything else, but ffs keep your daughter off the pole. FUCK

Do you realize what would happen if all fathers did that?No fucking pole that's what.

[El Guapo 8]

me too

Yup.The other day I was driving around in the car with the family and there is someone on the side of the road doing something and my son goes, "hey look at that frickin guy". Then yesterday, again driving we are talking about him learning to swim and he says "Daddy, the other day when I was swimming, I went all the fricking way down to the other end of the pool..."I was laughing so hard I almost got into an accident. Not only is it hilarious to hear a 4 year old say "fricking", but for him to use it in the correct context is amazing. Now, unfortunately, I have to get him to stop saying it.We were on our way to this pizza place that has bounce houses, and games and such. Sorta of like a Chuckee Cheese but with lots of bounce houses and slides. Those things are tiring. I actually thought I really hurt my son bad last night. I had my daughter in my arms and we had climbed to the top of one of the slides and he wanted us to all slide down at the same time. I was going to go down back wards holding my daughter because I thought it would be safer (no chance at her legs getting caught under mine). It was about a 5-6 slide, not a huge one. Well as I was getting in position to slide he jumps on my shoulders and we topple down together and my shoulder lands right on his hip/side, like the front part of where your kidneys would be. He was screaming in pain and his side was all red and inflamed. Luckily he was fine and back at it a couple minutes later, but scary nonetheless. It was also pretty funny when he did steamrollers down the big slide. We spent $10 on tokens for ski ball and other crappy games to get $.07 worth of prizes from the won tickets. This may be where the Charter Membership idea was spawned.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I take some offense at...

No you don't.

I want to meet Mrs. Icewater.

Ackbar!

[vbnautilus 48]

We spent $10 on tokens for ski ball and other crappy games to get $.07 worth of prizes from the won tickets. This may be where the Charter Membership idea was spawned.

I love skiball. I also love how those prize centers all have a few really nice prizes -- probably like an ipod nowadays but in my day it was walkman or boombox -- but the number of tickets required for this thing was like four orders of magnitude greater than any amount of tickets anyone had ever accumulated.

[CaneBrain 95]

I love skiball. I also love how those prize centers all have a few really nice prizes -- probably like an ipod nowadays but in my day it was walkman or boombox -- but the number of tickets required for this thing was like four orders of magnitude greater than any amount of tickets anyone had ever accumulated.

Thats why I stuck to pop-a-shot. Score 100 pts in 4 quarters, win a mini-basketball. Boom. Also, you have not lived until you have gambled seriously on a game of Golden Tee golf.

[Nikki_N 17]

Thats why I stuck to pop-a-shot. Score 100 pts in 4 quarters, win a mini-basketball. Boom. Also, you have not lived until you have gambled seriously on a game of Golden Tee golf.

Okay, Mr. Negreanu.

[jeff_536 3]

Seriously, what is with these fathers? Your ONLY JOB IN LIFE at which you should try really, really, really hard to NOT fail is keeping your fucking daughter off the fucking pole. You can be a total fuckup at everything else, but ffs keep your daughter off the pole. FUCK

Thank god for single moms, then.

[hank213 1,823]

Thank god for single moms, then.

you said it, brother.--Sal

[CaneBrain 95]

Okay, Mr. Negreanu.

Come on, we started doing that back in high school before I even knew what texas hold em was. I don't steal everything from DN. Tips on masculinity? maybe.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

still cheaper to pay for the couple hundred bucks of water than to get a real plumber out though. you know that though. rich bastard.

Hi! We're having a little trouble with our pipes, and I was - uh, Fielding, Walter Fielding... Well, there's no reason why you should have heard of me... no, that's not a Jewish name... how much do I make a year? Well, how much do you make a year? Really?!... Yale, I went to Yale... [gets angry] Look, get out of my life, would ya!

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Hi! We're having a little trouble with our pipes, and I was - uh, Fielding, Walter Fielding... Well, there's no reason why you should have heard of me... no, that's not a Jewish name... how much do I make a year? Well, how much do you make a year? Really?!... Yale, I went to Yale... [gets angry] Look, get out of my life, would ya!

such a great movie

[JoeyJoJo 18]

AVE / OBP / SLG

Bizzle -

.200 / .385 / .200

brvheart -

.348 / .506 / .348

CaneBrain -

.167 / .394 / .167

Dawson Leery -

.750 / .750 / .875

dna4ever -

.000 / .000 / .000

DrawingDeadInDM -

.000 / .250 / .000

El Guapo -

.397 / .598 / .431

gobears -

.200 / .400 / .200

Governator -

.000 / .000 / .000

GrinderMJ -

.200 / .200 / .200

hank213 -

.455 / .500 / .455

IQCrash -

.333 / .333 / .333

jeff_536 -

.292 / .452 / .292

JoeyJoJo -

.544 / .679 / .595

JubilantLankyLad -

.524 / .600 / .540

king tanner -

.000 / .000 / .000

LadyGrey -

.588 / .696 / .647

loogie -

.538 / .581 / .564

lvpro -

.000 / .000 / .000

mk -

.333 / .467 / .333

mrdannyg -

.091 / .231 / .091

Naked Cowboy -

.000 / .000 / .000

Napa Don -

.206 / .400 / .206

Nikki N -

.095 / .240 / .095

nutzbuster -

.000 / .000 / .000

Poker Addict -

.000 / .333 / .000

Poppy Hillis -

.000 / .000 / .000

Quacktastic -

.462 / .500 / .462

Randy Reed -

.333 / .509 / .333

renaedawn -

.000 / .333 / .000

Ron Mexico -

.467 / .564 / .556

runthemover -

.667 / .667 / 1.083

Sal Paradise -

.491 / .534 / .509

SBriand -

.167 / .286 / .167

Sickinfo2 -

.737 / .756 / .947

silkyjonson -

.500 / .500 / .500

speedz99 -

.445 / .610 / .469

strategy -

.321 / .491 / .346

SuitedAces21 -

.407 / .515 / .407

Tactical Bear -

.667 / .755 / .797

tell all the truth -

.000 / .000 / .000

Theraflu -

.150 / .393 / .150

timwakefield -

.000 / .333 / .000

vbnautilus -

.313 / .389 / .313

Voldemort -

.000 / .045 / .000

zimmer4141 -

.000 / .250 / .000

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

AVE / OBP / SLG

JubilantLankyLad -

.524 / .600 / .540

i don't understand what that means, but i'm going to go ahead and assume my numbers are optimal. feel free to work towards being me, everyone.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

i don't understand what that means, but i'm going to go ahead and assume my numbers are optimal. feel free to work towards being me, everyone.

Entire Sick Thread - 0.409 / 0.536 / 0.443

[Sal Paradise 57]

who the fuck does math anymore?

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Entire Sick Thread - 0.409 / 0.536 / 0.443

looks like everyone has some work to do

[brvheart 1,752]

I'm very disappointed in my all-star type line. I mean, I'm an all-star, but I'm no Dawson... that's for sure.

[SBriand 4]

I am the Esteban Germán of the sickie thread.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Dawson

He only has eight posts since I started keeping track.

I am the Esteban Germán of the sickie thread.

You only had seven.

[lvpro 0]

I am the Esteban Germán of the sickie thread.

At least you put the bat on the ball. I think I'm pressing. Need to work on my mechanics.

[Theraflu 1,035]

I am the Esteban Germán of the sickie thread.

We've been pretty similar across the board lately, it seems.

[Bizzle 0]

I like how almost all of the slugging percentages are lower than the on base percentages. We'd be an SP's nightmare.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

I'm very disappointed in my all-star type line. I mean, I'm an all-star, but I'm no Dawson... that's for sure.

You hitting over .075 has me questioning the entire process.

[brvheart 1,752]

I like how almost all of the slugging percentages are lower than the on base percentages. We'd be an SP's nightmare.

I see you conveniently glossed over runthemover yet again.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I see you conveniently glossed over runthemover yet again.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to give you a strikeout on that one.He said "almost" and you glossed over beans, wang, and Dawson.