I Called In Sick Today

[Sal Paradise 57]

Well, in fairness ive been working on it for it bit and saving it to wordpad until today. I was thinking it had been forever since I told a good story and that's kinda out there for me. Not some of you obviously.I also tried a narrative style which I was thinking would add to it but again flopped.

wait, so you really saved a bunch of bags of your own splooge and then got caught by the cops trying to dispose of it? holy hell man. I didn't really pay much attention to it because it looked formatted like an email forward, but that was you? randy I gotta tell ya, that's good (disturbing) stuff.

Being a huge geek with a meager sex life and a 7" vertical, the only story I have that relates to this is the fact that I took the SAT totally hung over and killed it, after two times taking it sober and just doing ok.

whoa me too. I only took it one time before, but the time after I was hungover as balls on like 4 hours of sleep and I did a lot better. helped that one of the essay questions was analyzing an excerpt from On The Road, but still.

I had a similar situation without Your friends girl had a train run on her. He needs to accept this or move on.

yeah, rappers tend to call girls that they've met previously when they come into town because they want to relive the pleasant conversation they had the last time.oh, and napa, pray tell what area code does this girl live in?

[LadyGrey 6]

I didn't give the most understandable version here, but I think it's the best way to handle these situations. I hate when people say stuff like, "She has NO RIGHT to be mad." Well, sure. But you knew she was going to be mad -- she TOLD you she was going to be mad -- and you did it anyway, which means you understood the consequences of your actions beforehand, and chose to do something that would make her mad for whatever reason. You have every right to do that, but turning around and pretending you don't bear some of the culpability is flat ridiculous. If you hate it that much, why are you with her? Relationships have all sorts of irrational elements. Deal with them however you want, but if you have all the information and can see the endgame, you'd better be prepared to live with the consequences.

I think this is a great way to look at it. It's a shame most guys don't and are unwilling to look at it in this way. It's funny how guys love to agree that all girls are crazy and irrational, but when it comes to something like this they are unwilling to be reasonable. Personally I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with a boyfriend going to a strip club. It will always make me feel upset, insecure, suspicious, etc. It doesn't seem like a big sacrifice to me, especially when they know how much pain it will save their girlfriend, but I think most guys would go anyway and then get angry at the girlfriend when she is upset about it. I see that despite understanding this rationale you put going to the strip club as an exception, but I get the impression you go pretty regularly so it's more of a sacrifice to you. How often do you go to a strip club, out of curiosity?

[Napa_Don 688]

Are you drunk? This is near incoherent.

Um, well, I edited my part of the conversation out of that chat, so it was just him. And the first line he sent me was "Herman...I got McDrunk tonight." So, yeah, he was drunk which is why it's near incoherent.

[speedz99 145]

I didn't give the most understandable version here, but I think it's the best way to handle these situations. I hate when people say stuff like, "She has NO RIGHT to be mad." Well, sure. But you knew she was going to be mad -- she TOLD you she was going to be mad -- and you did it anyway, which means you understood the consequences of your actions beforehand, and chose to do something that would make her mad for whatever reason. You have every right to do that, but turning around and pretending you don't bear some of the culpability is flat ridiculous. If you hate it that much, why are you with her? Relationships have all sorts of irrational elements. Deal with them however you want, but if you have all the information and can see the endgame, you'd better be prepared to live with the consequences.

I think that, with exceptions, this is a good way to look at it. In the end, you have to choose someone who doesn't do things that hurt you and who isn't hurt by your regular activities.

see, this makes a lot of sense, if both parties in the relationship are rational, but unless you're going homo, that shit ain't likely.

Very true.

I see that despite understanding this rationale you put going to the strip club as an exception, but I get the impression you go pretty regularly so it's more of a sacrifice to you. How often do you go to a strip club, out of curiosity?

Strip clubs are an exception. I wouldn't let a woman forbid me to go, even though I only do it once every few years. And there's no way to rationalize it.Although I would agree not to get any lap dances.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

I think this is a great way to look at it. It's a shame most guys don't and are unwilling to look at it in this way. It's funny how guys love to agree that all girls are crazy and irrational, but when it comes to something like this they are unwilling to be reasonable. Personally I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with a boyfriend going to a strip club. It will always make me feel upset, insecure, suspicious, etc. It doesn't seem like a big sacrifice to me, especially when they know how much pain it will save their girlfriend, but I think most guys would go anyway and then get angry at the girlfriend when she is upset about it. I see that despite understanding this rationale you put going to the strip club as an exception, but I get the impression you go pretty regularly so it's more of a sacrifice to you. How often do you go to a strip club, out of curiosity?

At least twice weekly. I usually meet up with my friends there if we're doing something, or go there later in the night to wind down.If I were with a girl and she said, "Look, can you just please not be going to the strip club?" I'd probably make an effort to cut down the amount, but I don't know if I'd be able to eliminate it entirely. It would probably depend on her reasoning and how much I liked her. I don't use the Strip Club as a way to stare at naked women. I don't get lap dances. It just happens to be the place I meet up with my friends. They feel relaxed there. I do too, I guess. (shrug) If a girl I was dating casually said "don't go to the strip club" I would conclude that she's not worth it. If a girl I'm in a serious relationship said "don't go to the strip club" I'd probably make every effort to cut it out. I'd require a certain level of patience and a longer time-frame than may be optimal from her perspective, but I'd make the effort. If she gave me some credit for at least TRYING, I'd probably be able to eventually almost totally eliminate the behavior, and strictly for her peace of mind. If it affected my friendships, I'd refuse, I think, because that's just a bad cocktail (but it's also neither here nor there).

[speedz99 145]

Me: Hello?Dad: Hey Matthew.Me: ...Dad: Did I wake you up?Me: Yeah. So did your 6:30am text. What's up?Dad: Oh, sorry. I was looking at your financials last night and me and mom got worried about how much you spent this year.Me: Oh?Dad: Well you started with X in January, then we deposited your bond in June for Y, and now you have Z*. It seems like after living expenses you spent a lot of money.Me: Ok...Dad: Well, we were wondering if you've been losing money doing online gambling.Me: I haven't logged into those accounts for two years, and either way I've only won money playing poker.Dad: Have you been spending a lot of money on pot? Or other drugs?Me: Seriously? No, just $20 here and there on weed if I feel like it.Dad: Ok. I didn't think so. But we were worried. Then the boring part of the conversation started. It was a nice way to wake up this morning. How old am I?*He knows this because we're working on financial aid stuff.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Strip clubs are an exception. I wouldn't let a woman forbid me to go, even though I only do it once every few years. And there's no way to rationalize it.Although I would agree not to get any lap dances.

Because a man's a man and that's the rules.

[speedz99 145]

If a girl I was dating casually said "don't go to the strip club" I would conclude that she's not worth it. If a girl I'm in a serious relationship said "don't go to the strip club" I'd probably make every effort to cut it out. I'd require a certain level of patience and a longer time-frame than may be optimal from her perspective, but I'd make the effort. If she gave me some credit for at least TRYING, I'd probably be able to eventually almost totally eliminate the behavior, and strictly for her peace of mind. If it affected my friendships, I'd refuse, I think, because that's just a bad cocktail (but it's also neither here nor there).

For me, it really depends on how a girl goes about saying that kind of thing. If it's an order, I run away from the relationship, since if a girl is comfortable trying to boss you around while dating, odds are she'll be one of those horrible domineering wife types. If it's a request as part of a conversation, there's nothing I won't at least give fair consideration.

[speedz99 145]

Because a man's a man and that's the rules.

Damn straight. I don't forbid her from knitting, do I?But really, I don't see myself staying with a girl long term if she's the type to try and forbid me from ever entering a strip club again. The guys I know who aren't allowed to go to strip clubs, even on special occasions, are the guys whose wives totally control their lives.

[fryer98 30]

But really, I don't see myself staying with a girl long term if she's the type to try and forbid me from ever entering a strip club again.

This is exactly my thought on the subject.On an unrelated note, I can also dunk on a 9 inch hoop.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

For me, it really depends on how a girl goes about saying that kind of thing. If it's an order, I run away from the relationship, since if a girl is comfortable trying to boss you around while dating, odds are she'll be one of those horrible domineering wife types. If it's a request as part of a conversation, there's nothing I won't at least give fair consideration.

Every once in a while I like to receive an order. Sometimes a girl will say something like "Do NOT have sex with [so and so]," and, I'm going to admit this, I get kinda excited. I've had a lot of those "Derek, do NOT have sex with [so and so]" commands given to me, now that I think about it. Don't have sex with your exgirlfriend. Don't have sex with that MILFy waitress. I mean, really? You're worried I'm just going to suddenly become attractive to women? Just because YOUR tastes are terrible doesn't mean every attractive woman's are...Anyway, in semi-seriousness, I dated a girl once who went about it just like this:"Look, I know this is silly, but will you please comply with irrational request Y? I realize I have no leg to stand on here, but that... I dunno, it just bothers me, so could you not? I know I'm asking a lot..." Wow. You're admitting it's totally a girly emotional type thing, which means you are a creature of reason, and you're ASKING me to make a choice you recognize as a SACRIFICE. I will become compliant almost instantly, even though there is a fair chance I am being manipulated.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Damn straight. I don't forbid her from knitting, do I?But really, I don't see myself staying with a girl long term if she's the type to try and forbid me from ever entering a strip club again. The guys I know who aren't allowed to go to strip clubs, even on special occasions, are the guys whose wives totally control their lives.

For some reason, my thoughts on the issue of how I deal with people's feelings are coalescing nicely now. I think it's because this was one of the last things I thought of before I went to sleep last night, in addition to: "If I could live in a house made entirely of a single food, what food would it be?"When it comes to other people's feelings -- people I care about, not constricted solely to bitches -- I've always tried to be adaptive and empathetic, regardless of my opinion as to the rationality of those feelings. This is why, if I know a guy would be upset if I fooled around with his exgirlfriend, I would never do it, even if they've been broken up for 5 years and he dumped her and doesn't even like her anymore. Is it stupid for him to feel that way? Yeah. But he feels that way and if I can't change his mind, then I have to decide what's more important and take responsibility for my choice.Example:Say a friend of mine would suffer some minor mental anguish if I wore brown shoes around him. That's retarded, but if I can avoid wearing brown shoes, I'm going to avoid wearing brown shoes, because I love him and his happiness is more important than my shoes.With women it often becomes a power struggle. She says you can't do it, and even though you could avoid doing it with little-to-no real effect on your life, you'll do it anyway because NOBODY TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO. It's about avoiding the precedent. I have never had that problem. I don't think much about power struggles, which party has the upperhand, etc. I just do what I do, and if you communicate with me, I'll do what I can to please you. If your demands are overly burdensome, I won't acquiesce, but not because I care about whether or not I'm a pushover, but rather because the costs of acquiescence are too high. If you're the kind of woman that is trying to control me simply to control me, well, we're going to have problems, whore.I guess what I'm getting at is, I've never understood that care whether people are ALLOWED to feel a certain way. People feel how they feel, and if it's stupid, I'll try to change the feeling through rational discourse. If that fails, the options left are limited, and people who shirk responsibility and refuse to admit their choices, and accept responsibility for those clearly anticipatable consequences borne of their choices, make me angry. If you see the whole board, then don't try to lie to yourself and everyone else. Don't rationalize your behavior as some chaotic, unpredictable outcome.

[ajs510 122]

With women it often becomes a power struggle. She says you can't do it, and even though you could avoid doing it with little-to-no real effect on your life, you'll do it anyway because NOBODY TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO. It's about avoiding the precedent.

Yes!!!Casey and I have never had power issues, because I don't tell her how to lead her life and she doesn't tell me how to lead mine. I made it very clear during the dating stages of our relationship that the fastest way to see me do something she doesn't want me to do is to tell me I can't or to forbid me in any way. I laid it out in simple terms years ago, I don't want to be the boss but I won't *not* be the boss either. We're equal and decisions will be made equally.

[speedz99 145]

When it comes to other people's feelings -- people I care about, not constricted solely to bitches -- I've always tried to be adaptive and empathetic, regardless of my opinion as to the rationality of those feelings. This is why, if I know a guy would be upset if I fooled around with his exgirlfriend, I would never do it, even if they've been broken up for 5 years and he dumped her and doesn't even like her anymore. Is it stupid for him to feel that way? Yeah. But he feels that way and if I can't change his mind, then I have to decide what's more important and take responsibility for my choice.

I'm the same way, to a fault. I'm way more considerate of others than they are of me. Oh well.

With women it often becomes a power struggle. She says you can't do it, and even though you could avoid doing it with little-to-no real effect on your life, you'll do it anyway because NOBODY TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO. It's about avoiding the precedent. I have never had that problem.

No matter how much you may want to deny it to yourself, or how silly it seems, it really is a power struggle. With every little thing you change without questioning it because it's really not as big a deal to you as it is to her, you increase the odds that the relationship will turn into one where she assumed that you will do everything she says, and there isn't a woman...or man...alive that won't try to take advantage of that, whether it's consciously or not. Unfortunately.If you make a sacrifice, change your routine, etc. for a girl and she isn't appropriately grateful (instead acting like it's expected), the relationship might be getting out of hand. This isn't a sexist thing, since the same exact thing is true if you switch around the pronouns.

[Painter567 0]

Me: Hello?Dad: Hey Matthew.Me: ...Dad: Did I wake you up?Me: Yeah. So did your 6:30am text. What's up?Dad: Oh, sorry. I was looking at your financials last night and me and mom got worried about how much you spent this year.Me: Oh?Dad: Well you started with X in January, then we deposited your bond in June for Y, and now you have Z*. It seems like after living expenses you spent a lot of money.Me: Ok...Dad: Well, we were wondering if you've been losing money doing online gambling.Me: I haven't logged into those accounts for two years, and either way I've only won money playing poker.Dad: Have you been spending a lot of money on pot? Or other drugs?Me: Seriously? No, just $20 here and there on weed if I feel like it.Dad: Ok. I didn't think so. But we were worried. Then the boring part of the conversation started. It was a nice way to wake up this morning. How old am I?*He knows this because we're working on financial aid stuff.

Shoulda said it was on the transsexuals you've been picking up.

[Sal Paradise 57]

so shimmeringwang is a woman? who knew.

[ajs510 122]

Shoulda said it was on the transsexuals youi've been picking up.

He definitely needed to work the term "penile implants" into the conversation somehow.

[leftygolfer 7]

Speedz and Mr. Speedz convo

Wow - Sounds like you have a pretty open realatiohship with your dad. I couldn't imagine that exchange with mine.Not looking forward to the same thing with the ss.

Because a man's a man and that's the rules.

Sounds like a winner for a t-shirt

On an unrelated note, I can also dunk on a 9 inch hoop.

White men can't jump

Every once in a while I like to receive an order. Sometimes a girl will say something like "Do NOT have sex with [so and so]," and, I'm going to admit this, I get kinda excited. I've had a lot of those "Derek, do NOT have sex with [so and so]" commands given to me, now that I think about it. Don't have sex with your exgirlfriend. Don't have sex with that MILFy waitress. I mean, really? You're worried I'm just going to suddenly become attractive to women? Just because YOUR tastes are terrible doesn't mean every attractive woman's are...

It's cause we are men. When someone tells us we can't do it, we figure out a way to do it. It's in our DNA.For you single guys:http://www.break.com/index/hot-blonde-gets...ht-stand_1.html

[LadyGrey 6]

I don't use the Strip Club as a way to stare at naked women. I don't get lap dances. It just happens to be the place I meet up with my friends. They feel relaxed there. I do too, I guess. (shrug)

See, this is the problem with America. You guys NEED pubs. Pubs are awesome. You go there, there's a wide variety of beverages and snack foods on offer, they often have pool tables, TVs or game machines for additional entertainment, and most importantly you can just hang out there. You can spend the whole day sitting in the pub with your friends and it starts to feel like a second home. It's like a strip club without all the creepy old perverts and naked ladies.

[fryer98 30]

See, this is the problem with America. You guys NEED pubs. Pubs are awesome. You go there, there's a wide variety of beverages and snack foods on offer, they often have pool tables, TVs or game machines for additional entertainment, and most importantly you can just hang out there. You can spend the whole day sitting in the pub with your friends and it starts to feel like a second home. It's like a strip club without all the creepy old perverts and naked ladies.

Since when don't we have them?I have 3 in my area that I frequent...and many more that I don't.

[IQCrash 1]

Catchup has been quite fun. A+ and a gold star to all.

[speedz99 145]

See, this is the problem with America. You guys NEED pubs. Pubs are awesome. You go there, there's a wide variety of beverages and snack foods on offer, they often have pool tables, TVs or game machines for additional entertainment, and most importantly you can just hang out there. You can spend the whole day sitting in the pub with your friends and it starts to feel like a second home. It's like a strip club without all the creepy old perverts and naked ladies.

We have those here, but we call them bars.

[ajs510 122]

Since when don't we have them?I have 3 in my area that I frequent...and many more that I don't.

I was gonna say...

[LadyGrey 6]

Since when don't we have them?I have 3 in my area that I frequent...and many more that I don't.

I don't know where you live, but the few pubs I've seen here are really uninviting. In England there are dozens of pubs to choose from in every town, and several even in small villages.

We have those here, but we call them bars.

It's not the same thing. We have many bars in England, they are completely different from pubs.

[IQCrash 1]

Since when don't we have them?I have 3 in my area that I frequent...and many more that I don't.

We have those here, but we call them bars.

I was gonna say...

I don't know why, but I started chuckling at the idea that for some nefarious reason only he knows, strat convinced LG we don't have bars in the US.EDIT: I wish LG hadn't posted while I was typing this out. The chuckling has come to a close.