I Called In Sick Today

[speedz99 145]

I guess this is as good of time as any to ask a question I have always wondered. When something like this happens in a young Jews life, do you know get access to the gold and if so are you sworn in to some kind of ceremony that forbids you from telling the secret location.I just realized, that even if his answer is no, we still won't know the true answer because he would not be allowed to tell us.Pretty clever, those Jews are.

I'm not allowed to explain exactly how, when, or why we access the gold, but I'll let you in on one secret...jew gold mostly consists of savings bonds. Annoying to get for Hanukkah and birthdays as a 7 year old, but great to cash in as a 27 year old. Wait...but you were kidding. So...so was I. There's no such thing as jew gold.

[CindyLou 11]

"Beans, quit scaring people"

I love beans.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

additional congratulatory post, speedz! knew i'd be way too late to make an andy joke.

Feel free to fire away. I think I'm the new Jeepster.

[speedz99 145]

Feel free to fire away. I think I'm the new Jeepster.

You know, I actually tried to respond to your last few posts, but had some difficulty. Just consider this a quick e-slap on the ass.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

You know, I actually tried to respond to your last few posts, but had some difficulty. Just consider this a quick e-slap on the ass.

Oh, I post nothing worthwhile anymore. At all. I get it, I really do. I completely suck as a poster now.I think I'll go workout now. And by workout, I actually mean workout. I already beat off today. Ashlynn Brooke. She's delightful

[Painter567 0]

Oh, I post nothing worthwhile anymore. At all. I get it, I really do. I completely suck as a poster now.I think I'll go workout now. And by workout, I actually mean workout. I already beat off today. Ashlynn Brooke. She's delightful

I love her soooo much

[ajs510 122]

I love her soooo much

She really is the perfect pornstar.

[Sal Paradise 57]

speedz wins, sal loses, the sun rises, etc.

[brvheart 1,752]

A mistake he's unlikely to repeat.Yeah, add this to the fact that we drive identical Xterras (or did before he sold his), and it's a recipe for success. My dad just sent me the US News rankings that put the Cornell vet school at #1 in the country. As if my head wasn't already blowing up enough...it's pretty surreal.I think I have to post

link...I'm not quite at the yelling stage, but more the blubbering that starts about 27 seconds in.

amazing. Nice work.

[brvheart 1,752]

A mistake he's unlikely to repeat.Yeah, add this to the fact that we drive identical Xterras (or did before he sold his), and it's a recipe for success. My dad just sent me the US News rankings that put the Cornell vet school at #1 in the country. As if my head wasn't already blowing up enough...it's pretty surreal.I think I have to post

link...I'm not quite at the yelling stage, but more the blubbering that starts about 27 seconds in.

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandrevi...grad/vet/searchAt least Iowa State made the list... #24! woo!I was at ISU from 92-97 and I once worked with a vet student at Applebees. Now mind you, since this is Iowa, many of the vet students are going for large animal training (cow, pig, horse, etc). This guy and I were the prep cooks, so we would both get there at like 6am even though the store doesn't open until noon, so we had plenty of time to talk. He was much older than the normal student, I would peg him at probably around 40 at the time. He was super fat and he was super gay. (like for real... I know, eeeewww) Anyway, he was totally awesome, I wish I still knew him. He was really loud and boisterous and told hilarious stories. He told me one morning, that the day before they were having finals... which in his case, meant preforming some kind of surgery on a horse. Each group had like 5 students and there were two different groups. Well the prof was with the other surgery room when one of the people in his group was performing his surgery, and something started to go wrong (I believe the horse started bleeding profusely). The kid was sweating like crazy and getting very nervous. So this gay guy is like, "Dude, you are in serious trouble, call the prof." Well the kid didn't want a bad grade, since this final was like 50% of their grade, so he was desperately trying to get things fixed. Well sure enough, pretty soon the EKG or whatever starts flatlining that this kid starts weeping, like literally crying during his final. He then grabs the defibrillator and starts going to town. The gay dude said he must have hit the horse 5 times, by the time the professor started running in. At this point the kid is almost in complete breakdown, just continually shocking the horse. The professor walks over and says, "Kid, unless your Jesus Christ, wheel this fucking horse outta here."Anyway, don't kill any animals at your final and you should be fine. The next 2 to 4 years will be fun.

[IQCrash 1]

Speedz, congrats, man. That's huge.You now have 40 years of cutting off balls to look forward to.

[ajs510 122]

I got into Cornell......GONNA BE A VET, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...you're moving an hour and a half away from me?Congrats!

[mln_falcon 0]

these guys are nuts: http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=177...mp;fullscreen=1

Wow that's awesome, I want to do it.

I got into Cornell......GONNA BE A VET, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always wanted to be a vet but then realised how hard it would be. So then I wanted to marry a vet. You just moved to the top of the list.

[dms26 3]

I'm not allowed to explain exactly how, when, or why we access the gold, but I'll let you in on one secret...jew gold mostly consists of savings bonds. Annoying to get for Hanukkah and birthdays as a 7 year old, but great to cash in as a 27 year old. Wait...but you were kidding. So...so was I. There's no such thing as jew gold.

uh oh, I might be Jewish. Last year my mom gave me 2 savings bonds that my grandma bought when I was about 10.congrats on Cornell

[Randy Reed 0]

Is Cornwell a school? Isn't it cereal? Ivy League, meh. Why couldn't you be a respectable and make your parents proud and go to Harvard? What's wrong with Harvard? Joel Spilstien went to Harvard and he married that wonderful girl, what's her name Harvey? Weiss, yes that was her name, Weiss is nice. So where is this place Cornwell? It isn't a southern school is it? If it's in Texas may I have a heart attack and die right here. What will all the ladies from the center say? I can I tell them little matty is going to Cornwell, he'll probably be the only Hebrew in the school. And animals, yech, what's with the cats, why can't you be a surgeon like a good boy, now the Eckstiens, they have 2 surgeons...In case you didn't talk to grandma yet.Congrats!!!!!!!!

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

So, as I stated, I'm back in the diet/workout mode, and I went all 5 days last week. I lost 10lbs for my first 5 days of the diet, M-F, weigh in Saturday morning, so I took Saturday and Sunday off from the gym. Not from the diet, just from the gym. Woke up this morning, threw up, had the squirts, so I called in to work. Well, needless to say, I didn't work out all day. Fortunately, when I'm in workout/diet mode, I feel pretty guilty if I don't workout every day that I'm supposed to. Feeling better, I headed over to the gym. I never really go this late, but screw it. So, I get there, and mind you, there is very rarely any hot P at my gym, especially if I go in the AM, but even from 5-7, not much to gawk at. Well, tonight, I'm finishing up, and this smoking hot girl walks in, thick, the right kind of thick, half shirt and those short cloth shorts. Good lord, I couldn't stop looking. Now, problem is, she had to be in high school. HAD TO BE. So, I did what any decent 36 year old man would do, I pulled my hat brim down lower and stared at her while I did my preacher curls. I knew there were some hot girls when I was in high school but I certainly don't remember them wearing so little clothes. I'd be a walking hard on if I was in high school today. Hell, I'm not in high school and I am.Ok, back to ignoring me, and after this post, I don't blame you.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Is Cornwell a school? Isn't it cereal? Ivy League, meh. Why couldn't you be a respectable and make your parents proud and go to Harvard? What's wrong with Harvard? Joel Spilstien went to Harvard and he married that wonderful girl, what's her name Harvey? Weiss, yes that was her name, Weiss is nice. So where is this place Cornwell? It isn't a southern school is it? If it's in Texas may I have a heart attack and die right here. What will all the ladies from the center say? I can I tell them little matty is going to Cornwell, he'll probably be the only Hebrew in the school. And animals, yech, what's with the cats, why can't you be a surgeon like a good boy, now the Eckstiens, they have 2 surgeons...In case you didn't talk to grandma yet.

Uncle Randy is back on the sauceI turned down some frosty Yuenglings yesterday Randy, in honor of you.

[renaedawn 1]

I got into Cornell......GONNA BE A VET, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Matt. :insertjewmomcheekpinchhere:

[beans-n-icewater 18]

A mistake he's unlikely to repeat.

Hopefully he never gets a job as a pizza delivery guy....

I love beans.

:big toothy grin face:

speedz wins, sal loses, the sun rises, etc.

Yeah, but Ill bet speedy dont have a guy working on a clone of an AR15 golf ball launcher for him....I saw one at the Tulsa gun show a while back, and from eye witness reports the thing will launch one five to six hundred yards with a standard blank roundI finished mine last night but for the life of me I cant find any blanks around hereFull report to follow when I dig some up and if youre interested Ill make another

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

So, as I stated, I'm back in the diet/workout mode, and I went all 5 days last week. I lost 10lbs for my first 5 days of the diet, M-F, weigh in Saturday morning, so I took Saturday and Sunday off from the gym. Not from the diet, just from the gym. Woke up this morning, threw up, had the squirts, so I called in to work. Well, needless to say, I didn't work out all day. Fortunately, when I'm in workout/diet mode, I feel pretty guilty if I don't workout every day that I'm supposed to. Feeling better, I headed over to the gym. I never really go this late, but screw it. So, I get there, and mind you, there is very rarely any hot P at my gym, especially if I go in the AM, but even from 5-7, not much to gawk at. Well, tonight, I'm finishing up, and this smoking hot girl walks in, thick, the right kind of thick, half shirt and those short cloth shorts. Good lord, I couldn't stop looking. Now, problem is, she had to be in high school. HAD TO BE. So, I did what any decent 36 year old man would do, I pulled my hat brim down lower and stared at her while I did my preacher curls. I knew there were some hot girls when I was in high school but I certainly don't remember them wearing so little clothes. I'd be a walking hard on if I was in high school today. Hell, I'm not in high school and I am.Ok, back to ignoring me, and after this post, I don't blame you.

thats what us guys love about those high school chicks, we get older, they stay the same age.but yeah, by the time i'm your age the local schools will probably be on the lookout for my car.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

thats what us guys love about those high school chicks, we get older, they stay the same age.but yeah, by the time i'm your age the local schools will probably be on the lookout for my car.

pre-schools already have your pic up. That's something, I think.

[beans-n-icewater 18]

Woke up this morning, threw up, had the squirts

Welcome to my life....

Uncle Randy is back on the sauce

It got boring yelling at the computer while sober....

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

It got boring yelling at the 'puter while sober....

FYP

[beans-n-icewater 18]

It kills me when he goes "WOOOOOOOOOOW!"

[Randy Reed 0]

Uncle Randy is back on the sauceI turned down some frosty Yuenglings yesterday Randy, in honor of you.

Ahh, it's a good thing they don't sell Yuengling here or i'd be off the wagon faster than Kit Carson with beans modified automatic at a buffalo shoot.My doctor must know beans also. I got some kind of bite a few days ago in the groin area that has been really bothering me. Starting Saturday I started getting a lump in my balls sack which kept growing to golf ball size today. It hurts like hell and I went to the doctor this evening who looked and said, "He's got big balls". Well, not really but it would have been funny in an AC/DC voice if he had.I just read the meds and apparently driving is the least of my worries. The list of fatal side effects is a page long. Oh well, at least I didn't get a cathater like zimmy. Oh it's an infecton of some sort, and I get to call in sick tommorow and soak balls all day so that's a plus!Oh and dad got the second biopsy this afternoon and I talked with the doctor who informed me that it isn't cancer at all, just a pre-cancerous polyp which he can remove with a minor surgery as long as the rest of the doctors think he is healthy enough for surgery. In any case great news after the other fiasco.