Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

FWIW, I retract my comment from the laid off thread considering it was made with the other CW in mind.
you didn't think it was obviously turd when we all know that cw isn't unemployed, he's busy delivering pizzas and scooping ice cream?
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

FWIW, I retract my comment from the laid off thread considering it was made with the other CW in mind.
you didn't think it was obviously turd when we all know that cw isn't unemployed, he's busy delivering pizzas and scooping ice cream?
Ya, it didn't read like one of CW's posts at all. We all know the asians are motivated and industrious and shit.
Link to post
Share on other sites
you didn't think it was obviously turd when we all know that cw isn't unemployed, he's busy delivering pizzas and scooping ice cream?
I thought it was cw at first too, but I did at least wonder why he said he'd been unemployed when I remembered he delivered pizzas. I'm not smart.also, figured I might as well post my glorious beer acquisitions from the holiday (also photographed in my super manly workout room, as many of you have already commented on):first, pretty much the most awesome thing I have ever seen (first witnessed from canebrain's avatar):Speedzbeer.jpgand now, the whole score in all its glory:AllBeer.jpg
Link to post
Share on other sites
you didn't think it was obviously turd when we all know that cw isn't unemployed, he's busy delivering pizzas and scooping ice cream?
The dead giveaway was the blanket partially covering his nose so the farts could be smelled....I had a flashback to his story about running down the hallway at work to fart so his cute co worker wouldnt smell them
also, figured I might as well post my glorious beer acquisitions from the holiday
Im impressed....I did something similar once. Got bored and bought a sixer of almost every beer Id never tried before....Drank one of each all afternoon and that night I shit like a tied up coonTry it.....most enjoyable
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ah.... I amended my post just in case Give us a story or something, please
Ok. Gotta think about it. Right now I'm being distracted by that pool game somebody posted. That and a mean case of egg farts. Rotten egg farts.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Remember Turd is pre my time. And I didn't know if CW was perpetually unemployed prior to shucking pizzas.I am sure I have told this somewhere before, but when I was 21 I moved in with my best friend in his Grandmothers old house that he inherited. 1900 sq foot house with two guys in college for like $250 a month was pretty sweet. His mom gave us her fridge, so the fridge that was already in the house went on the back patio and we created the glorious beer fridge. Now we had debated on turning the Fridge into a kegerator, which would have been easy because his family owns a HVAC company. But we decided against it, because then we would only have one kind of beer, and I mean, c'mon, how boring is that?So we headed out one day on an alcohol mission. We went to Costco, BevMo, Trader Joes, Safeway, etc. We bought pretty much every 6 pack we could think of that we had not tried, that we wanted to try. I don't remember the final count, but it was over 50. We spent over $500 that day (remember this is 10 years ago, so a 6 pack was between 3.99 and 5.99 then) and decide that how we would pay for this was to put a sign on the fridge. $1 for imports/micro brews .50 for domestics. And have a jar for the money next to it.We collected less than $10, the beer was gone in 2 months, except for the few that were absolutely disgusting, and Beer fridge never relived its glory.One night we headed out to a college friend of mine's apartment to hang out, and they were drinking and smoking, and told us to come down and bring some beer. So we loaded up all our shitty beer, put in her fridge, drank all the good beer her friends brought. Now some people frown on me for discarding alcohol in this manner, but you wouldn't if you had tasted it. I know its bad when my roommate, who is pretty much an alcoholic and will drink anything, won't drink it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I started a story about my first acid trip/date with a stripper, but I got bored of it. It didn't have a great ending anyway, although I did blow a chance to get laid spectacularly. I just don't have the patience for this place anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Well I started a story about my first acid trip/date with a stripper, but I got bored of it. It didn't have a great ending anyway, although I did blow a chance to get laid spectacularly. I just don't have the patience for this place anymore.
Go on...Or don't. Did I ever tell the story I had 10k hits of acid at one time? Scared shitless for a day as I sold it. I did use the proceeds to buy my 2nd car. The last time I did acid most of you guys weren't born. Lots of good times though.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Did I ever tell the story I had 10k hits of acid at one time?
10,000 hits of acid at one time?! That's too much!I....I don't know anything about acid.
Link to post
Share on other sites
well it is quite the hell hole.
Only when you aren't here schnookems.
Go on...Or don't. Did I ever tell the story I had 10k hits of acid at one time? Scared shitless for a day as I sold it. I did use the proceeds to buy my 2nd car. The last time I did acid most of you guys weren't born. Lots of good times though.
It sounds like a pretty funny story, but when I started writing it down I realized it wasn't.
Randy do you get acid flashbacks at all?I can get pretty paranoid on the sticky icky, don't think acid would mix that well.
My first bad trip happened when I tried to mix the two. It was horrible, and now I sometimes get flashbacks when I smoke. Either way pot makes me really paranoid now.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Well speaking of sex and missed opportunties since this is my second or third or fourth post in here (I can't really remember), I should probably post my Screwed Up Sex Opportunity Story.I was at some party smoking a stog and talking to this chick. She lived a few doors down from me in Newport. Anyway somehow her dog got out and was on the street. It was close to a car which was parallel parking. A little too close. That probably wasn't a good area to use the "a litte too" phrase since an animal close to a moving car is always too close. Anyway I had to take action.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Well speaking of sex and missed opportunties since this is my second or third or fourth post in here (I can't really remember), I should probably post my Screwed Up Sex Opportunity Story.I was at some party smoking a stog and talking to this chick. She lived a few doors down from me in Newport. Anyway somehow her dog got out and was on the street. It was close to a car which was parallel parking. A little too close. That probably wasn't a good area to use the "a litte too" phrase since an animal close to a moving car is always too close. Anyway I had to take action.
It was about a 15 foot drop. Nothing I hadn't done before but she didn't know that. Today I was wearing two sandals. A little too sandals. I put my cigarrette in my mouth and swing-jumped the balcony fence. You'll have to ignore the 10 pounds I gained and the wig which became apparent as you saw the back of my head. I landed crouched on the ground.
Link to post
Share on other sites

I grabbed the dog which was never in any real danger since this is a fake story. I strutted back to the party ready to trade the dog for a better prize. After she rushed everyone out of the house so we could get some alone time (with each other), she took a closer look at me and caught me in a big lie.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was just browsing around on the canoflage website and found something for Randy, Wang, or anyone else that quit drinking but still wants to appear "cool" around people that do...budcano.jpgAlso it looks like someone stole a road sign in the middle of the night and dumped it next to the shop.... damn kids anyway101_1800.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...