gobears 0 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Farting = Assault. Let's be careful out there.DUI suspect who farted at police officer charged with batterySOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. — A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer."The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station."I couldn't hold it no more," he said.He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him."This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time." Link to post Share on other sites
Randy Reed 0 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Farting = Assault. Let's be careful out there.DUI suspect who farted at police officer charged with batterySOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. — A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer."The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station."I couldn't hold it no more," he said.He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him."This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."I bet he gets the gas chamber.Ha, FIRST! Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 oh randy Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I bet he gets the gas chamber.Ha, FIRST!BINK! Link to post Share on other sites
Bizzle 0 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 great bday evening. saw sigur ros, and it was amazing to the point where i was like fighting back tears, but that's standard for me whenever i see them because i'm a huge fgt and music overwhelms me sometimes.Take it easy champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
renaedawn 1 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 re: farting is battery. my blaw prof liked to talk about the case where an anti-smoking advocate won a case alleging battery against a radio host who repeatedly blew smoke in his face while he was on-air. fun legal system we have. Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,219 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Zimmer, please tell me that you attend the girl's volleyball matches.I was watching them vs Ohio State on the Big Ten Network the other day. Lots of cuties. If I had it to do over again, I'd work my way in to the volleyball crowd. Tall chicks sometimes don't like short dudes, so at 6'3", its an inherent advantage to start. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I am drinking wine, watching Chef Ramsey berate people and getting my taxes together. MOTHER FUCKING FUN!Ain't no party like a....... ah fuck it, this sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 The more I am drinking the more I am trying to deduct.Do you think I can write off Veterinarian bills as medical expenses.DAWSON? Link to post Share on other sites
BooBoo 0 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Happy Birthday Boo BooHappy Birthday to youHappy Birthday dear Boo BooHappy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu tsdfssdfhsdfssdfasdfssdfnsdfssdfksdfssdfs! Link to post Share on other sites
strategy 4 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 tsdfssdfhsdfssdfasdfssdfnsdfssdfksdfssdfs!hope the cake was good! Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 The more I am drinking the more I am trying to deduct.Do you think I can write off Veterinarian bills as medical expenses.DAWSON?yeah, maybe I'm stupid, but isn't it september? are these business taxes or something and they're due on a different date? or are you just a huge nerd that likes to play with taxes? I need to learn how to do my own taxes.tsdfssdfhsdfssdfasdfssdfnsdfssdfksdfssdfs!mighty salty language for a one year old I must say. Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin81 0 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 she dumped her boyfriend, you grabbed your testes, asked her out, and now she's yours? Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin81 0 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 she dumped her boyfriend, you grabbed your testes, asked her out, and now she's yours?You. You're good.The red print symbolizes the blood from her ass after I anally penetrate her. I think I may have gone too far there. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I'm a very observant fellow.congratulations on the penetration. Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin81 0 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 I'm a very observant fellow.congratulations on the penetration.I have yet to complete the penetration but we'll call it preemptive congrats for now. I will post video when it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 YOU WILL DO WELL.they have these bear claws in the vending machine here at work and they are absolutely to die for. I've had three this week with coffee, and I tell you, they're gonna be hard to give up next week. Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin81 0 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 YOU WILL DO WELL.they have these bear claws in the vending machine here at work and they are absolutely to die for. I've had three this week with coffee, and I tell you, they're gonna be hard to give up next week.Good God, this was a gay post, top to bottom. Nice chest though. Off to ace my final or at least not bomb it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Good God, this was a gay post, top to bottom. Nice chest though. Off to ace my final or at least not bomb it.oh stooooooop... :wrist flapping: Link to post Share on other sites
leftygolfer 7 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 LOL at the Trojans losing to the Beavers Link to post Share on other sites
Dawson Leery 12 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Fuck I'm hungover and now I have to go to work I can't fuckign just sleep through shit anymore I hate the real world Link to post Share on other sites
dms26 3 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 The more I am drinking the more I am trying to deduct.Do you think I can write off Veterinarian bills as medical expenses.DAWSON?Get it an SSN and you're golden. Link to post Share on other sites
leftygolfer 7 Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think Snotnose Tommy may be referring to the Spewers win. I am actually hoping they win the wild card. A Cubs/Brewers pennant series would be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
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