I Called In Sick Today

[Lolli 0]

i think caleb is going to have a bit of a hangover tomorrow; I hear too many tequila shots can do that to a person. He is one funny mother fucker when hes been drinking. He even made me blush, and thats not an easy thing to do.

[Lolli 0]

I know napa is going to kill me for posting this but its too damn funny to resist. (im not posting the pic he sent me because thats not what I actually found to be the funniest part..)Napa Don Poker (1:00:00 AM): shes the one in tealLolli535 (1:00:59 AM): hahahahaNapa Don Poker (1:01:22 AM): i told him no f'n way but i'm not putting it past him to send her down to my roomNapa Don Poker (1:02:01 AM): cause she really wants to make out with some random dude and her and her friend are going to leave if she doesn'tNapa Don Poker (1:03:34 AM): sighNapa Don Poker went away at 1:05:25 AM

[Napa_Don 688]

I know napa is going to kill me for posting this but its too damn funny to resist. (im not posting the pic he sent me because thats not what I actually found to be the funniest part..)Napa Don Poker (1:00:00 AM): shes the one in tealLolli535 (1:00:59 AM): hahahahaNapa Don Poker (1:01:22 AM): i told him no f'n way but i'm not putting it past him to send her down to my roomNapa Don Poker (1:02:01 AM): cause she really wants to make out with some random dude and her and her friend are going to leave if she doesn'tNapa Don Poker (1:03:34 AM): sighNapa Don Poker went away at 1:05:25 AM

In my defense, she was pretty fat and my friend will still get to bang her friend. Also, I am incredibly way to vain for my own good.

[mln_falcon 0]

THIS was the sick thread I fell in love with.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I woke up this morning after a night of drinking at 6 am feeling great. I couldn't go back to sleep so I've wasted my entire day on the couch in front of the tv on my computer. Starting at 4 I started to feel really nauseous. Now two hours ago I start getting diarrhea. I still don't know whether I'm hungover or caught a bug. Should be a fun Saturday night. Is anyone else being boring tonight?

cha cha cha

I've had such a long day today, and now my 400 pound co-worker who sweated about 40 gallons of putrid B.O. sweat, decided it was time to go with the sweatpants and sit next to me on the couch. LOSING MY MIND

sexytime I believe.

I have to eat $100 in tickets that I already bought back in the spring (1 to the PBR, the other to Rascall Flatts/Taylor Swift). Although I do feel for you.

whats the reason for dude canceling? pretty asshole thing to do without good reason.

This is not Caleb. Feel free to stop reading at this point.I haven't been here much lately, but I got a tingle in my spine taint when I came here and realized that I wasn't auto logged in like usual. Whenever that used to happen back in the day, it meant that my name was used by the one and only dinosaur man. I went to my recent posts like a kid on Christmas morning running to open his presents. I reviewed, I laughed, I was warmed from the inside out. I'm now fully aroused.

so why'd you stop posting anyways? I'm personally offended. OFFENDED.

Almost got into a fistfight at Office Max today.Been a while since I've gotten myself 'ready to go'. The adrenaline was good.

I would like to hear this story.speaking of assholes, mythbusters is on and I would totally do dirty things to that chick's rear end. and everything else.oh, and I went to a big party last and didn't get laid! score!

[Quacktastic 106]

at this point I feel obligated to tell you that caleb and cw share an account. blue moon's seasonal honeymoon is really really good

I'm a big fan of the Sam Adams summer ale. Haven't tried the honeymoon.

i think caleb is going to have a bit of a hangover tomorrow; I hear too many tequila shots can do that to a person. He is one funny mother fucker when hes been drinking. He even made me blush, and thats not an easy thing to do.

So....did he cum or what?

[Napa_Don 688]

whats the reason for dude canceling? pretty asshole thing to do without good reason.

He said because he couldn't get time off of work which is weird because we got these tickets back in the spring and we've gone on this trip the past 3 years so he's had time to ask about getting work off. Whatever, it was kind of funny because 10 minutes before he called me I was at the casino with a buddy and said that I don't even know if I still feel like going to Wyoming. Whatever I guess. I'll just use this week to chill at home, maybe go visit some friends.

[MisterB 2]

So Im bored and was about to log into my photobucket acount and lo and behold, my little sister never logged out of hers so it brought it right up. There are some, uhhh... interesting pictures in here. I could be the evil sister and post some pics of her that im sure she wouldnt like to be shared, so instead ill just post this cute one i found.

Is this a set-up? And as far as the FFL thing goes, ship me the addy and I will make good. Done and Done.

[Lolli 0]

THIS was the sick thread I fell in love with.

Its a phase, it'll pass.

oh, and I went to a big party last and didn't get laid! score!

Do you EVER get laid?

I'm a big fan of the Sam Adams summer ale. Haven't tried the honeymoon.So....did he cum or what?

Yes. I gave him the best beej of his life and he came so hard he shot all over my face. Happy?For gods sake, how the hell would I know if he came?!?! I wasnt out with him last night.

[Lolli 0]

Is this a set-up?

Step away from the computer. Far away.

[Sal Paradise 57]

Do you EVER get laid?

no. you seem to have forgotten that I am HORRIBLY UGLY.

Yes. I gave him the best beej of his life and he came so hard he shot all over my face. Happy?For gods sake, how the hell would I know if he came?!?! I wasnt out with him last night.

the way you phrased it, it did sound like you hung out with him in person.so did he cum?

[HollywoodAFD 0]

speaking of assholes, mythbusters is on and I would totally do dirty things to Jamie Hyneman's rear end. and everything else.

FYP

[Lolli 0]

no. you seem to have forgotten that I am HORRIBLY UGLY.the way you phrased it, it did sound like you hung out with him in person.so did he cum?

I wouldnt say horribly.. thats too stong of a word. Mildy ugly perhaps.Yeah, i can see now how that could be misleading...I called him last night around 10:30 but he didnt hear his phone so when he finally called me back it was after midnight and he was drunk and funny as hell. He wanted me to come pick him up but i couldnt so he puked and slept in his car. He finally made it home safely around 5 this morning. We're going to meet up one night this week before he leaves for chicago.

[Lolli 0]

So Im curious Sal and Strat, why do you guys post as anonymous? Are you guys in hiding from someone or what?

[Sal Paradise 57]

I wouldnt say horribly.. thats too stong of a word. Mildy ugly perhaps.

you haven't seen me in person. its much worse.

So Im curious Sal and Strat, why do you guys post as anonymous? Are you guys in hiding from someone or what?

god.

[Lolli 0]

you haven't seen me in person. its much worse.god.

You cant hide from god, he is EVERYwhere.

[Sal Paradise 57]

You cant hide from god, he is EVERYwhere.

no no, you're thinking of santa clause.

[Lolli 0]

no no, you're thinking of santa clause.

When I was old enough, they told me God is everywhere. "He sees all your sins and keeps track." My CCD instructor informed me."Like Santa?" I asked."Uh, like Santa," she replied. "Except if you're bad, instead of getting coal, you'll go to hell."That afternoon, I found an empty mason jar, took a hammer and one nail and went out into the back yard.Pounding the nail through the lid, I punctured several holes. My parents must have thought I was preparing for one of my great insect hunting expeditions. Instead, I screwed the cap on tight and tucked the empty jar under my arm.no secret that I was an odd child, creating my own set of cursive numbers and possessing an odd form of dyslexia that forced my parents to read my compositions by mirror image. .I took that jar with me to school the next day for show and tell. My parents asked nothing of me as I sat eating my sugar soaked Kix. On the playground, my peers approched me with inquiries pertaining to the contents of this mysterious jar. My teacher wondered if my subject had escaped. I only showed my pursed smile to hide my silver capped front tooth and waited patiently for my turn.I set the jar under my chair. Paper of color spilled forth from the pelican metal desk and I watched the morning sun paint the shadow of the weeping willow in the parking lot onto the linolium floor. Faded construction paper flowers were taped to the window to symbolize spring and their shadows streatched out beyond size, throughout the room.These were the days of headache and psychological tests for me. I had migraines induced by violent television shows and my hyperactivity combined with eccentricities made me a target for study. I was asked by school officials and my parents to "Cooperate with the school social workers". Tests were administered and concluded nothing except I was like any other seven year old.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------When my turn came and I brought that jar up to the front of the class, my leather and metal leg braces clunking. I held The Jar high above my head. My peers chuckled. I was absurd. I was an attention getter. I began to blush. "For show and tell today, I brought in GOD." more laughs"God is everywhere. I learned this in Church yesterday and he is in this jar and I brought him in for show and tell.silence... Then..."How come we can't see him?" Erin S. asked. She was way out of my league and still is. I hadn't the slightest idea why you couldn't see God. I was stumped and uttered the only logical solution."Because God is invisible." Oohs and Ahhs followed and I stretched my lips to my glowing, oversized red ears and sat down. Hoping I had impressed Erin.My parents received a call that evening and I had to meet with the counselor later in the week. I was forced to keep God under my bed. I don't know how long I kept that jar under my twin bed, but I remember praying to it. I needed a symbol, something tangible to hold when I prayed. As time progressed, I lost thought of the jar, I lost thought of prayer. For most of my life I only prayed under and within circumstances of helplessness or great need. Apparently, God was there.

[strategy's_touch 0]

oh, ok

[Lolli 0]

oh, ok

God is trapped in a mason jar under some kids bed probably sweltering from the summer heat with only tiny air holes in which to breath and all you can say is "oh, ok"?Oh, ok

[strategy's_touch 0]

my gf was always a curious cat when it came to knowing when I was awake on fcp. the invisibility was the next step in the arms race.

[Lolli 0]

my gf was always a curious cat when it came to knowing when I was awake on fcp. the invisibility was the next step in the arms race.

ahhhh, ok.

[hank213 1,823]

You cant hide from god, he is EVERYwhere.

Cheeky bumlooker.

[Quacktastic 106]

Cheeky bumlooker.

awesome

[TommyGavin81 0]

So Im bored and was about to log into my photobucket acount and lo and behold, my little sister never logged out of hers so it brought it right up. There are some, uhhh... interesting pictures in here. I could be the evil sister and post some pics of her that im sure she wouldnt like to be shared, so instead ill just post this cute one i found.

That dog is SO cute.Your sister seems like a VERY NICE YOUNG LADY

tommy is my new boyfriend so BACK THE FUCK OFF OK.

I got you some chocolates. I ATE SOME.

I'm gonna eat a cookie!

How was it?

Please dont go girlYou would ruin my whole worldTell me youll stayNever ever go away

I love New Kids. I STILL own a VHS chronicling one of their MANY world tours.