I Called In Sick Today

[silkyjonson 1]

Then I don't wanna be straight, because I eat 2-3 Clementine oranges a day.

I said nothing about the sweet fruit that is the clementine.They are glorious and I enjoy them often.

[kers2 0]

I want to have Stephen Curry's babies

[BooBoo 0]

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[Ouch-8s 4]

I think if your wife won't bang you (for no good reason e.g. illness) the relationship is over and you should get a divorce. Then you can enjoy the single life and bang limitless girls, guiltfree.

oh, there's a limit...

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

oh, there's a limit...

do tell sexlessman

[Ouch-8s 4]

do tell sexlessman

well come on, it's not like there were some girls I wouldn't bang when i was single, and some that (shocking, I know) I couldn't.

[strategy 4]

Hmm...I shall try this. I usually just put a slice in the beer, if I do that. Do you take a bite and then drink to wash it down or take a bite, take a drink, take a bite, etc.

there's no real process. I guess it's kind of like that? I just like oranges as a snack. It's healthier than my normal snacks... buttered bacon-wrapped sausage.

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:jingles keys:

[Randy Reed 0]

checked back to see the new responses, chuckled some more about shake's misfortune. it makes me laugh, thinking about some woman lying in the hopes that shake would show up and feel guilted into spending the night cuddling. it's like the overweight people of either sex posting myspace angle photos online and arranging to meet up, expecting some kind of positive outcome.I don't hate fatties, but if someone lied to me like that, I'd not hesitate to ditch them wherever we met up.

My first internet date is in here somewhere, Heavy Duty Judy (where's Hobbes)

you must be rich

Yeah, daughter just got sold a BB plan that i'm paying for that has a 30/month internet charge they neglected to spell out. Cell phone companies suck.

so even women I've never even met or conversated with think I'm a loser? I truly am moving on up.

Shake, you're funny and cool, and there is my daughter in law, and my adopted daughter, and a future in selling cars........

Booboo says hi. I think he's angling for a spot in next year's bracket.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WINNNER!!!!

I am just imagining how things could have gone when I arrived in Kansas for the first time back in January last year: I'm waiting nervously in the baggage claim area, scanning the crowds for Jeffrey. Finally I spot him across the room. Our eyes meet and I smile: his jaw drops, his eyes widen... he yells "OH HELLS NO". He turns on his heel and sprints back to his car, then hastily surges away, abandoning a bewildered Mojo at the airport.Good thing I'm average looking.

Nope little child of mine, you're cute and smart and funny. The perfect combo. He's a lucky guy and his heart flittered when he saw you. I know, because I am that lucky. I mean, Jesus doesn't visit Kansas very often and he's usually dodging Dorothy.

Did anyone else just giggle at the thought of strat and mojo in bed, her yelling that out and him not knowing how to respond?

I think in Austin Powers sayings with this, OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH BBBAAAABBBBBYYYYYY

I think if your wife won't bang you (for no good reason e.g. illness) the relationship is over and you should get a divorce. Then you can enjoy the single life and bang limitless girls, guiltfree.

Ugh, there's a day that happens that the woman lays over, looks you in the eyes (sincerely) and says that she's thankful you're not trying to hump her every night, j/s

I want to have Stephen Curry's babies

bitch, i miss you you hockey nut

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I seriously love kids, coaching little league was the most rewading thing I ever did. I'm totally messed up now cause I said, rewading. I have no idea what I was talking about but now OUch has to get to work on rewadding his wife so we can have Bam Bam to go with Boo Boo.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

well come on, it's not like there were some girls I wouldn't bang when i was single, and some that (shocking, I know) I couldn't.

trust me, I'm not selling being single as a glorious thing and that women are just lining up waiting to bang, all I'm saying is if you (not you specifically) are in a sexless marriage for no other reason than your wife is tired or just not into it mentally, you should have recourse. I'm not talking about not getting it three times a week or anything, I'm talking about only getting it once every two months or something close to that. Again, no extenuating circumstances can be at play. We all have our moments, but if it's a regular thing with the Mrs., then the leash should be off.That being said, sex is relatively easy to get, it just takes persistance, effort, money (not whores, just drinks, dinner, etc) and if you're really eager, a lack of high standards. I'd much rather be in a healthy relationship, but then again, don't most of us?This statement has no fluidity I'm sure. I'm trying to play two turbo sngs, one shorthanded, and type this garbage at the same time.Bottom line, for the second consecutive post, I have no idea what Ouch is talking about and to men, sex is more important, by a lot.

[speedz99 145]

You know I didn't comment on it earlier because I was little dumfounded by it, but who eats fruit and drinks a beer?

Strat's right, this is the exception.

I think if your wife won't bang you (for no good reason e.g. illness) the relationship is over and you should get a divorce. Then you can enjoy the single life and bang limitless girls, guiltfree.

Kids make this a little more complicated.

Everyone who has orange slices who is over the age of 14 and outside of the timeframe of halftime of a soccer game is gay anyways.

I miss the halftime orange slices. But then, who doesn't?

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Shut up, baby.

there's no real process. I guess it's kind of like that? I just like oranges as a snack. It's healthier than my normal snacks... buttered bacon-wrapped sausage.:jingles keys:

Mmm...butter. Mmm...bacon. Mmm...sausage.

Shake, you're funny and cool, and there is my daughter in law, and my adopted daughter, and a future in selling cars........

Obviously the daughter in law is too heavy for me, but what's the deal with the adopted daughter? Is she into Jesus-killers?

[speedz99 145]

trust me, I'm not selling being single as a glorious thing and that women are just lining up waiting to bang, all I'm saying is if you (not you specifically) are in a sexless marriage for no other reason than your wife is tired or just not into it mentally, you should have recourse. I'm not talking about not getting it three times a week or anything, I'm talking about only getting it once every two months or something close to that. Again, no extenuating circumstances can be at play.

Although you have to be wary of women that seem to constantly have extenuating circumstances.

I'd much rather be in a healthy relationship, but then again, don't most of us?

I guess I'm part of the minority here. I still really have no interest in being part of a serious relationship (healthy or not). That's probably why I have yet to cross the 6 week barrier with anyone since the breakup last year. TA made it two dates, Thin-Lips two weeks, and No-Ass pushed it to 5.9 weeks. Curry's done. That's about 5 horrible shots from him in a row.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

You're still young, so it's acceptable. and weird. and jewish, but yeah, you have a legitimate reason for not wanting to settle down.

[strategy 4]

Curry's done. That's about 5 horrible shots from him in a row.

apparently. I lose all my virtual moneys if KU wins.

[strategy 4]

oof, not over yet

[speedz99 145]

and jewish.

No, jewish would be to accept one of the dozens of dates that my parents' friends have been trying to throw at me with their daughters, their cousins' daughters, their friends' daughters, their mah-jong (sp) teamates' daughters, etc. It's disturbing.

[speedz99 145]

oof, not over yet

There's no way...is there?

[GrinderMJ 0]

Randy Reed you are one girly drunk

[strategy 4]

There's no way...is there?

are you kidding me? 16 seconds left, I feel a chuck coming

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

No, jewish would be to accept one of the dozens of dates that my parents' friends have been trying to throw at me with their daughters, their cousins' daughters, their friends' daughters, their mah-jong (sp) teamates' daughters, etc. It's disturbing.

can't you tell your mother that these girls just wont be kinky enough for you in the sack and tell her she needs to start asking the hard hitting questions before she tries to set you up?Or at the very least, tell your mother, "mom, if you set me up with this girl, I'm going to try and do things to her that most people wouldn't do to a farm animal, then she'll tell her mom and her mom will blame you because her daughter won't be able to sit straight for a week or will have to go into intensive pschyotherapy after a date with me."Just a thought. I could say those things to my mother, but then again, she has never once tried to set me up. Hey, wait a minute, maybe she thinks I'm a loser. Nah, she's just not pushy like that.

[speedz99 145]

can't you tell your mother that these girls just wont be kinky enough for you in the sack and tell her she needs to start asking the hard hitting questions before she tries to set you up?Or at the very least, tell your mother, "mom, if you set me up with this girl, I'm going to try and do things to her that most people wouldn't do to a farm animal, then she'll tell her mom and her mom will blame you because her daughter won't be able to sit straight for a week or will have to go into intensive pschyotherapy after a date with me."

...no. I couldn't say those things. My parents aren't that cool, but then again neither am I.

Just a thought. I could say those things to my mother, but then again, she has never once tried to set me up. Hey, wait a minute, maybe she thinks I'm a loser. Nah, she's just not pushy like that.

They aren't pushy about it, they just let me know that the offer is on the table. An offer that we all know I'll never take them up on. Ever. For-e-ver.

[Painter567 0]

I looked it up. apparently, its a town in georgia.

Nice work. Back in Tampa....at the crib.

[Painter567 0]

you really haven't ever heard of having a slice of orange with blue moon? I suggest you try it... it is one of the few exceptions to the rule.

QFT

[Painter567 0]

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:Schutebuck:

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I figure if I write it down, I'll be more likely to stick to it and feel responsibility, so here goes.I will be doing a bit of a crash diet between now and April 29th, my surgery date. The less weight I have on my knee, ultimately, the better. The only day I will be cheating is April 20th. I have a wedding that I'm in and I will be drinking. So, yeah. Nobody cares. Hell, I barely care, but now maybe I'll feel a sense of responsibility to stick with it a little more.Side note, I don't intend to break the diet on April 30th, but it's my first target date. After that, I'll be on crutches and bed rest for basically 6 weeks, so getting up and going out to eat and walking to the fridge won't be so much of an option. /fatrantJoke thought: I just want to get down to my Myspace pic size again, so as not to fool any unsuspecting doubleteamers.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

I figure if I write it down, I'll be more likely to stick to it and feel responsibility, so here goes.I will be doing a bit of a crash diet between now and April 29th, my surgery date. The less weight I have on my knee, ultimately, the better. The only day I will be cheating is April 20th. I have a wedding that I'm in and I will be drinking. So, yeah. Nobody cares. Hell, I barely care, but now maybe I'll feel a sense of responsibility to stick with it a little more.Side note, I don't intend to break the diet on April 30th, but it's my first target date. After that, I'll be on crutches and bed rest for basically 6 weeks, so getting up and going out to eat and walking to the fridge won't be so much of an option. /fatrantJoke thought: I just want to get down to my Myspace pic size again, so as not to fool any unsuspecting doubleteamers.

My turn. I'm on a speedzgirl like diet for my wedding may 3rd. I leave may 1st so the diet pauses then, but I have been jogging 4-5 miles a day and cut out the booze, so hopefully one of my chins will be gone in the pictures.