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I Called In Sick Today


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I'm sure I'd top that if I watched it. After all, I watched the Kelly Clarkson thanksgiving halftime show and cranked out about 4 or 5.
wait, are you saying shake was strokin' it to the penguin movie?
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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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My family is well aware of the fact that I hate small children, so it makes it slightly awkward that at all gatherings we now have a toddler running around being obnoxious (my cousin's kid). My brother handed me the award for most awkward moment of the day due to a comment I made during the meal.Mother: He's been so good today.Me: You mean other than almost ripping your dog's ear off?(everyone ignores me)Grandmother: Does he know any words yet?Cousin: He's been pretty slow with language. He says "hi".Me: Does that count as a word?(everyone ignores me again)Cousin: He also says "woof" and "moo".Me: Onomatopoeia doesn't fucking count!!!(my brother cracks up but everone else ignores me and the subject is quickly changed)

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My family is well aware of the fact that I hate small children, so it makes it slightly awkward that at all gatherings we now have a toddler running around being obnoxious (my cousin's kid). My brother handed me the award for most awkward moment of the day due to a comment I made during the meal.Mother: He's been so good today.Me: You mean other than almost ripping your dog's ear off?(everyone ignores me)Grandmother: Does he know any words yet?Cousin: He's been pretty slow with language. He says "hi".Me: Does that count as a word?(everyone ignores me again)Cousin: He also says "woof" and "moo".Me: Onomatopoeia doesn't fucking count!!!(my brother cracks up but everone else ignores me and the subject is quickly changed)
I can't decide if I'm laughing more at this or at how pathetic I am for actually knowing what that means.
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you know what the best feeling in the world is? that feeling you have right after you've been sick for a while and you're finally better. you feel like you could climb a fucking mountain. well I'm finally better and I feel great. I wanna go running or bang a fatty or something, but I'm still at my parents house and can't do anything. this kinda sucks. thats why I'm waking up at 3 am and skeedaddling back to ole virginny.

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you know what the best feeling in the world is? that feeling you have right after you've been sick for a while and you're finally better. you feel like you could climb a fucking mountain. well I'm finally better and I feel great. I wanna go running or bang a fatty or something, but I'm still at my parents house and can't do anything. this kinda sucks. thats why I'm waking up at 3 am and skeedaddling back to ole virginny.
I've got the feeling that I don't want to go workout but I know if I don't go today then I won't be able to get in a good workout till monday again and then I might lose what little I've gained and then I'll probably stop working out again instead of keeping up with my current schedule even though I know once I get done at the gym I'll feel awesome because you always do after a good workout and maybe, just maybe, this workout might give me some noticeable change.
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you know what the best feeling in the world is? that feeling you have right after you've been sick for a while and you're finally better. you feel like you could climb a fucking mountain. well I'm finally better and I feel great. I wanna go running or bang a fatty or something, but I'm still at my parents house and can't do anything. this kinda sucks. thats why I'm waking up at 3 am and skeedaddling back to ole virginny.
Ahh a slump buster, those are always good.
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Well, had to work yesterday.Came home ready for a shower and relaxing night of beer and Deb asked politely if I would run a few errands with her. Hey, no problem.During the hour of running to Goodwill, Library, Post Office etc., she informed me that the big holiday shopping spree planned for Saturday wasn't going to happen. Even after her best effort of cleaning house all day, she never got to do the Xmas stuff and might not have time to yadda, yadda, yadda. This way she could burn up a Visa for a full Saturday with no remorse except for my thoughts on the bill. Like I said, "No remorse".So "I" convinced "Her" that when we got back I would bring up all the Xmas stuff from downstairs and put up the tree, etc..(Not decorate per se, but it's alot to bring up), which I did.Did I mention I went to the grocery store on the way home?So either i'm informing you guys on how to get man points, or i'm a goddam faggot. At least I won't have to sleep with Leaves again.

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went out drinkin'. Yeah, I'm money, I was workin' it. Got sidetracked. Yeah, I'm the manjust hit whatever.
what the hell am I talking about. Busy day todayI worked, bowled, ate dinner, now its time for a nap
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Well, had to work yesterday.Came home ready for a shower and relaxing night of beer and Deb asked politely if I would run a few errands with her. Hey, no problem.During the hour of running to Goodwill, Library, Post Office etc., she informed me that the big holiday shopping spree planned for Saturday wasn't going to happen. Even after her best effort of cleaning house all day, she never got to do the Xmas stuff and might not have time to yadda, yadda, yadda. This way she could burn up a Visa for a full Saturday with no remorse except for my thoughts on the bill. Like I said, "No remorse".So "I" convinced "Her" that when we got back I would bring up all the Xmas stuff from downstairs and put up the tree, etc..(Not decorate per se, but it's alot to bring up), which I did.Did I mention I went to the grocery store on the way home?So either i'm informing you guys on how to get man points, or i'm a goddam faggot. At least I won't have to sleep with Leaves again.
Beastiality doesn't make you gay, just a man of opportunity.
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You want lft?I finished 45th in the afternoon 55 for 250 and change.Mike finished 7th in the 100k freeroll for 2850 (I had 10%).I finished 13th in the nightly 55 for 340 and change.So all in all, between the two of us we played 3 tourneys, outlasted several thousand people and had 3 legit chances at 5 figures...and I end up less than a grand.

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