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I Called In Sick Today


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oh I think she's absolutely gorgeous. in a "I may have feelings for asian boys" kind of way. and I'd probably do her, but I wouldn't be very proud of it. of course I'm used to that.and I've been up since 6:30 myself. can't sleep late anymore. so terrible. I'm gonna eat something. yeah, that sounds like a plan.going to mr. and mrs. mexico's today ron?
nah, I'm just messing with FG. She's got an appeal, great body, good hair, decent looking skin, but the face isn't that great for me. I'd bring her around, try to get her to take a gang bang, etc. Sure, I'd date her a little, unless she had a filipino accent. That might throw me. I only like asian women that sound american. I at least need the appearance of someone getting my stupid jokes, and women with accents just don't get me.I'm not proud of a lot of my conquests, as they aren't proud of me.Hitting the 'rents later. Mom don't mess around with the cooking. It's no accident that I'm bigger than the average bear.TurkeyHam outside cooking on the grill, rotisserie styleall the other stuffdesserts all homemadeapple turnoverscream puffspumpkin piemince pie (which I wont eat)one other I think. Oh by the way, only myself and step dad's mom are coming over. She overdoes it. Go me. I can just feel me getting fatter.
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PILGRIM: Happy First Thanksgiving. Thank you for having us to your tepee. INDIAN: How! (The INDIAN holds his hand in the air with his palm facing out.) INDIAN: That means "Hello" in Indian. PILGRIM: We came here on the Mayflower. It is that big ship over there. It has nothing to do with the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. That is something else completely. INDIAN: We are having a powwow; it is like a meeting. (PILGRIM takes a bite of food.) PILGRIM: This is good. What is it? INDIAN: That is corn. It is also called maize. PILGRIM: Yes, like a labyrinth. INDIAN: (Mumbles something inaudible about David Bowie.) PILGRIM: Thank you for introducing corn to me. This turkey is good, too. INDIAN: We hunted it. We are hunters and gatherers. PILGRIM: Excuse me one second; the buckle to my shoe has come undone. (PILGRIM bends down and buckles his shoe.) PILGRIM: This is a nice neighborhood. INDIAN: It is called Plymouth Rock. It does not refer to one single rock. We are not eating dinner on some large rock sitting by the water, even though people might one day think that. We just moved here. We used to own Manhattan, but sold it for $24. They paid us in buttons and arrowheads. PILGRIM: (Sarcastically.) Wow, $24! That, uh ... sounds like a good deal. INDIAN: We have casinos and sell cheap cigarettes. (INDIAN lights a peace pipe, adjusts his feather headdress.) PILGRIM: I have a buckle on my hat, I think for no reason.

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PILGRIM: Happy First Thanksgiving. Thank you for having us to your tepee. INDIAN: How! (The INDIAN holds his hand in the air with his palm facing out.) INDIAN: That means "Hello" in Indian. PILGRIM: We came here on the Mayflower. It is that big ship over there. It has nothing to do with the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. That is something else completely. INDIAN: We are having a powwow; it is like a meeting. (PILGRIM takes a bite of food.) PILGRIM: This is good. What is it? INDIAN: That is corn. It is also called maize. PILGRIM: Yes, like a labyrinth. INDIAN: (Mumbles something inaudible about David Bowie.) PILGRIM: Thank you for introducing corn to me. This turkey is good, too. INDIAN: We hunted it. We are hunters and gatherers. PILGRIM: Excuse me one second; the buckle to my shoe has come undone. (PILGRIM bends down and buckles his shoe.) PILGRIM: This is a nice neighborhood. INDIAN: It is called Plymouth Rock. It does not refer to one single rock. We are not eating dinner on some large rock sitting by the water, even though people might one day think that. We just moved here. We used to own Manhattan, but sold it for $24. They paid us in buttons and arrowheads. PILGRIM: (Sarcastically.) Wow, $24! That, uh ... sounds like a good deal. INDIAN: We have casinos and sell cheap cigarettes. (INDIAN lights a peace pipe, adjusts his feather headdress.) PILGRIM: I have a buckle on my hat, I think for no reason.
lol, excellent stuff shimmeringicebear(that should be your next sn, JS). reading this makes a good start to my dayhappy thanksgiving everyone
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I think they do. They did last time we were there anyway.We're mostly going for the Chiefs game and just thought getting really tanked and going to the casino and being totally stupid at the penny slots might be fun. Wanna come with?
Id really like to, but Im stuck here wading around in turkey smoke until Saturday...Then Im taking the little lady to see Eddie Money in Tunica so the disaster restoration company can have the kitchen to themselvesHave fun and happy Thanksgiving to all....
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oh I think she's absolutely gorgeous. in a "I may have feelings for asian boys" kind of way.
Hey, while you're out shopping tomorrow, feel free to get me a new keyboard; this one's full of coffee now. Thanks for that.
INDIAN: That is corn. It is also called maize. PILGRIM: Yes, like a labyrinth. INDIAN: (Mumbles something inaudible about David Bowie.)
Hahahhaha, very funny.Happy Thanksgiving, faggots.
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Hey, while you're out shopping tomorrow, feel free to get me a new keyboard; this one's full of coffee now. Thanks for that.
you sure you wouldn't rather have a coffee cup? thats where its supposed to go.
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Happy Thanksgiving everybody.I'm getting drunk with my family this year, mostly to erase the pain of the Lions getting killed here.I also am trying to plan a trip to Mexico for Spring Break. Thinking about either Cancun or Puerto Vallarta. Any reccomendations?

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Happy Thanksgiving everybody.I'm getting drunk with my family this year, mostly to erase the pain of the Lions getting killed here.I also am trying to plan a trip to Mexico for Spring Break. Thinking about either Cancun or Puerto Vallarta. Any reccomendations?
Nuevo LaredoCross border and get cab to Boys Town....First bar on the left, Papa Guyos
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you sure you wouldn't rather have a coffee cup? thats where its supposed to go.
Jesus christ that was funny. Luckily, I pursed my lips really tight at the first realization that I was about to spit pop all over my laptop.Im back from dinner at moms. I decided to eat and run so I could have my house to myself for the rest of the day until the chitlets get home tonight.Now what to do?
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Got drunk and final table'd the NegO last night. Pretty hungover today and back from the trip to moms. In a little bit we have to go to beotch, I mean sister in laws house. I am fully prepared to fight over some dish and then yell, "TAKE IT, IT'S YOURS!'Be back later. Have fun faggots.

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Jesus christ that was funny. Luckily, I pursed my lips really tight at the first realization that I was about to spit pop all over my laptop.Im back from dinner at moms. I decided to eat and run so I could have my house to myself for the rest of the day until the chitlets get home tonight.Now what to do?
Masturbate?
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I am fully prepared to fight over some dish and then yell, "TAKE IT, IT'S YOURS!'
It has my name written right on the side there, mister. And for the love of DOG, wash it out for me once in a while!
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so it turns out my family has become religious nutjobs. who knew? the prayer before the meal lasted approximately 5 minutes.march of the penguins is on animal planet. over/under on the number of "aaaAAAWWW?!'s" I'll make during?

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Well Thankshitting 07 is in the books....My mom was the highlight with the stories of my youthSome of the favorites subjects were:"And Ill never forget the day my driveway was full of cops....""I was in the middle of telling the neighbors that he hadnt left his room all night when I noticed his window was open...""Somehow he figured out a way to hotwire the car...""To this day I still wont have bleach and ammonia in the house at the same time....""We never saw that cat again...""The mailman refused to leave any more until we took the lid off the mailbox...""He could sign my name on report cards so well that even I couldnt tell the difference....""That manager at Showbiz pizza almost made us pay for it....""I didnt sleep from the time he was born until the day he left home....""We never saw that dog again...""Thank God he got married and took some of the burden of raising him off me..."It was a hoot

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