turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I think it's a good day for sharing stories about fights that we have been in. I'm sure some of you guys have been in some kick ass fights. Let's hear about them. I've never been in a real fight so I'm anxious to hear about some good ass kickings. P.S. The story is always better if you lost the fight. Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I think it's a good day for sharing stories about fights that we have been in. I'm sure some of you guys have been in some kick ass fights. Let's hear about them. I've never been in a real fight so I'm anxious to hear about some good ass kickings. P.S. The story is always better if you lost the fight.One time in fourth grade, some guy knocked my hat off my head. That hat just happened to be autographed by ace middle-reliever Jeff Nelson. So I open-hand slapped him in the mouth.Yeah, I was a pimp like that even back in the day. Strangely, I'm not any more. But I was, and that's what matters most. Link to post Share on other sites
ramalamadingdong 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I think it's a good day for sharing stories about fights that we have been in. I'm sure some of you guys have been in some kick ass fights. Let's hear about them. I've never been in a real fight so I'm anxious to hear about some good ass kickings. P.S. The story is always better if you lost the fight.Last fight I got in was a barfight. Dad was a teammate! We were riding motorcycles w/ the owner of the restauraunt, he left 10 minutes before the fight.Motorcycle fans might find it funny that Arlen Ness was with us. He did not participate in the fun though. Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 One time in fourth grade, some guy knocked my hat off my head. That hat just happened to be autographed by ace middle-reliever Jeff Nelson. So I open-hand slapped him in the mouth.Yeah, I was a pimp like that even back in the day. Strangely, I'm not any more. But I was, and that's what matters most.There's a difference between being a pimp and being effeminate. A punch was clearly in order here. Besides, that's not really a fight. I punched a kid once in seventh grade and he ran away crying, but it wasn't a fight. I want to hear about brawls. Link to post Share on other sites
ramalamadingdong 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 There's a difference between being a pimp and being effeminate. A punch was clearly in order here. Besides, that's not really a fight. I punched a kid once in seventh grade and he ran away crying, but it wasn't a fight. I want to hear about brawls.pimp slaps are a GREAT enrager. That's how my last one started. I'm tapping the guy on the cheek, "c'mon you pussy" that kind of shit.God I used to think I was bulletproof in college. Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 There's a difference between being a pimp and being effeminate. A punch was clearly in order here. Besides, that's not really a fight. I punched a kid once in seventh grade and he ran away crying, but it wasn't a fight. I want to hear about brawls.An open-hand slap in the mouth is a gangster move (mafia-style gangster, not hip-hop style gangster). I agree though, a punch was in order. I had just never thrown a punch, and wasn't entirely sure how to do it. And it wasn't a fight, you're right.I've been shamed.One time in 5th grade, we were playing catch, and this kid Caleb kept bugging me, so I punched him in the gut. He went down, and I pummeled him relentlessly. No teachers ever found out.Then one time my cousin and I got in a scuffle. He shoved me, so I took him down and punched him in the face. He laughed, and then proceeded to kick the shit out of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Don Giovanni 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 ive never been in a real fight but once in 5th grade i was making fun of some loser that annoyed everyone and he started charging at me. i prepare for battle but the idiot trips on something and now hes flying through the air at me, i stick out my knee for him to land on and it hits him right in the stomach and he was on the ground crying. i just kinda walked away wondering what just happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Hobbes 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 There's a difference between being a pimp and being effeminate. A punch was clearly in order here. Besides, that's not really a fight. I punched a kid once in seventh grade and he ran away crying, but it wasn't a fight. I want to hear about brawls.I was at my high school football game and things got a little chippy, so the referees just decided to call the game with about 3 minutes left (we were getting blown out anyway). So, because they aren't very intelligent, they still had the teams do the line up handshake thing and a full brawl broke out. A bunch of my friends that I was with on the sidelines ran in there to get involved, but this really hot chick that I was trying to get with grabbed onto my arm and got really in tight against me because she was scared. So I stayed there. Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 pimp slaps are a GREAT enrager. That's how my last one started. I'm tapping the guy on the cheek, "c'mon you pussy" that kind of shit.God I used to think I was bulletproof in college.Yeah they are. I saw so many fights in school start that way. Usually the pimp slapper got his ass handed to him though. The quiet guys always surprise you. Anyway, what happened with the fight, and why did you edit your other post? Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 ive never been in a real fight but once in 5th grade i was making fun of some loser that annoyed everyone and he started charging at me. i prepare for battle but the idiot trips on something and now hes flying through the air at me, i stick out my knee for him to land on and it hits him right in the stomach and he was on the ground crying. i just kinda walked away wondering what just happened.All the best fights happen on the elementary school playground. Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 An open-hand slap in the mouth is a gangster move (mafia-style gangster, not hip-hop style gangster). I agree though, a punch was in order. I had just never thrown a punch, and wasn't entirely sure how to do it. And it wasn't a fight, you're right.I've been shamed.One time in 5th grade, we were playing catch, and this kid Caleb kept bugging me, so I punched him in the gut. He went down, and I pummeled him relentlessly. No teachers ever found out.Then one time my cousin and I got in a scuffle. He shoved me, so I took him down and punched him in the face. He laughed, and then proceeded to kick the shit out of me. BAHAHA! That's good shit. My name is Caleb, by the way. Maybe you kicked my ass. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I'm a lover not a fighterlover = pussy Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 BAHAHA! That's good shit. My name is Caleb, by the way. Maybe you kicked my ass.I suppose it's possible, though not likely.Were you a really skinny douche with a bowl haircut, who wore sweatpants a lot? Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 I suppose it's possible, though not likely.Were you a really skinny douche with a bowl haircut, who wore sweatpants a lot?Yes. Go on... Link to post Share on other sites
kers2 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 BAHAHA! That's good shit. My name is Caleb, by the way. Maybe you kicked my ass.I suppose it's possible, though not likely.Were you a really skinny douche with a bowl haircut, who wore sweatpants a lot?Absolutely Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Yes. Go on...Shit...Sorry for the ass whupping, man. Next time I see you, you'll get a free shot. Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Shit...Sorry for the ass whupping, man. Next time I see you, you'll get a free shot. I wasn't joking about being a skinnly little douchebag with a bowl cut. I match the description perfectly so far. Where did you grow up? Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I wasn't joking about being a skinnly little douchebag with a bowl cut. I match the description perfectly so far. Where did you grow up?North of Seattle, Washington. Link to post Share on other sites
ol'number7 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 The best fights involve nerds. When a nerd gets mad, that super-human nerd strength comes out, and all hell breaks loose -- saw lots of that back in high school. Link to post Share on other sites
NortonFan 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 It's not really a fight but in like 4th grade we were standing in line to come in from recess and this kid pushed me to the ground. As I was getting back up I went to hit him in the gut but I aimed to low and caught him in the nuts. I was suspended for 3 days even though he started it. Link to post Share on other sites
ajs510 122 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 My last fight took place in my living room during a party about 4 years ago. I was 25 or so, and pretty much everyone in my house was ridiculous drunk. No one more so than this kid Mike, my best friends little brother. He had been drinking straight tequila for about 3 hours, and decided it would be a fantastic idea to grapple with my roommate. My roommate is well versed in MMA, having trained in a local Brazilian Jiu Jitsu dojo for a couple of years. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this wasn't going to go well, so I spent at least 5 minutes going over the rules of "house-grappling" before they started the match (no punching, kicking, biting, if he taps let go immediately, if you want the fight to be over, tap out, etc). I knew things weren't sinking in with the kid regarding the rules, but **** it, I was drunk as hell too so I decided to let it go. The match lasted all of 20 seconds or so when Mike reared back and delivered a haymaker to my roommates jaw (by "haymaker", I mean "piss-drunk sissy punch that caused no damage whatsoever"). That was the end of "house-grappling" and there was now a full blown fight in my living room (by "fight", I of course mean "pummeling with the occasional wet bleeding cry of pain from Mike"). My roommate locked up both of the kids arms and went to town on his face, landing one punch for each word in the sentence "You<punch>will<punch>never<punch>ever<punch>hit<punch>me<punch>in<punch>my<punch>****ing<punch>house<punch>again<punch>bitch."Most people would simply bleed on the carpet for a while, then get up and leave the party to lick their wounds at home. Not Mike. Not on half a bottle of cheap tequila. While my roommate was dragged into the kitchen to cool off, I stayed in the living room to make sure nothing else happened as Mike was escorted from the party. After about 45 seconds of bleeding and crying, the kid got up and stumbled towards the kitchen. I headed him off and tried to talk a little sense into him, but he kept trying to push his way past me. I heard my roommate making his way back into the living room for round two, pushed Mike backwards and turned my head to have someone else grab my roommate. I turned my head back to Mike, only to feel an explosion in my temple. The little ********** sucker punched me in my own living room! Most of what happened after that is a total blur (I'm kind of a bull in a fight, once I see red, I kinda blank out and just live in the moment). I'm told that I pinned the kid to the ground, balled up my fist, and delivered 7 solid punches to his face. Each punch riccocheted his head off the floor, so he was really getting hit twice for every shot I threw. Someone dragged me off (most likely due to my roommates yell from the kitchen "pull him off before he kills him!!!") and Mike was unceremoniously deposited on my front porch. You would think that that would be quite enough punishment for one night, but the kid managed to fall through the porch railing on his way down the steps, landing squarely on his head and finally...finally...knocking himself out. He was dumped in the passenger seat of his friends car and taken home. He came back the next day, apologizing profusely for how he had acted. The funniest part was that he was still mostly drunk, and kept finding new spots on his head and body that hurt. "Ow...this hurts, how did this happen?" "You hit Andy, Andy hit you harder". "Ouch...this one really hurts, how did it happen?" "You hit AJ, AJ hit you harder, and your skull bounced off the floor". Haven't been in a fight since. Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 "You<punch>will<punch>never<punch>ever<punch>hit<punch>me<punch>in<punch>my<punch>****ing<punch>house<punch>again<punch>bitch."that is beyond hilarious.great story. Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Haven't been in a fight since. Great story! Link to post Share on other sites
turd ferguson 1 Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Nice. That's the kind of story I was looking for! Good job. Now, if we can only get Wang to get in on this. Link to post Share on other sites
ajs510 122 Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Nice. That's the kind of story I was looking for! Good job. Now, if we can only get Wang to get in on this.Wang's "Angry Biker in the Casino" story was great, he should repost that one. Link to post Share on other sites
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