fessing up to the significant other - updated

[tskillz187 0]

523 posts later I get a Ron compliment. I'm going to be okay after all.

[Scanner313 0]

in truth, what alternative is there really?  you keep playing, and drive off anyone you care about, and then when you go broke, you have no one there to pick you up off the ground.you keep playing, and you obtain the success you desire, but you have no one to share it with.

Dude, I know you made your decision, but now it's time to UNDO that decision. The way you're talking above makes it out like if you keep playing you're heding either for superstardom or skid row. Are you a degenerate or aspiring pro right now? If not, neither of those are a legitimate excuse.Trust me man, I'm in the process of getting a divorce right now because my wife didn't want me doing all kinds of things that many guys take for granted. I lasted almost 4 years of marriage with this woman and finally I couldn't take it anymore. YOU will be here too. Take it from me and from others who have already had to experience this for themselves. If a woman asks/demands that you give up things that you really enjoy then they aren't worth being with!While there are girls who allow guys to do anything they want (as it should be, and vice versa obvisouly), unfortunately, I believe that there aren't that many to go around. But, I can tell you that settling for the alternative isn't a good way to go.I got nearly 4 years, 2 kids, and a couple of pets out of my marriage and right now I don't care if I spend the rest of my life alone. Why? Because I feel great being free again. And if you think that poker is the only freedom you're going to lose with this girl then you're dreaming.The free sex (which doesn't last long and really isn't free) is not, I repeat NOT worth the deprivation of the things you like/love to do.That's all I will say about this. Do as you see fit but don't say we didn't try to warn you when you come back to the forum in about a year or 2. and you will be back unless you're one of those truly spineless guys who never demand their life back. I know a few of those types of guys, I hope for your sake you're not one of them.Good luck buddy!

[tskillz187 0]

Dude, I know you made your decision, but now it's time to UNDO that decision. Agree.Trust me man, I'm in the process of getting a divorce right now because my wife didn't want me doing all kinds of things that many guys take for granted. I lasted almost 4 years of marriage with this woman and finally I couldn't take it anymore. YOU will be here too.Kind of scared. I got nearly 4 years, 2 kids, and a couple of pets out of my marriage and right now I don't care if I spend the rest of my life alone. Great Dad.Do as you see fit but don't say we didn't try to warn you when you come back to the forum in about a year or 2. and you will be back unless you're one of those truly spineless guys who never demand their life back. I know a few of those types of guys, I hope for your sake you're not one of them.You showed her.In all seriousness I think you were trying to help. but your post freaked me out. Hope things go well for you, Scanner.

[Rags4Me 0]

I have to agree with almost everyone else. It's not really about poker, but instead it's about having someone dictate to you that you can no longer do something that you obviously enjoy (evidenced by your participation here).You mention that you will either end up broke or as a superstar with no friends. The bad outcome that you mention is probably only going to happen as the result of an addiction. Since I don't know you, I'll have to take you at your word that this is not the case for you.If you don't have an addiction, than the logic behind the reason to quit is gone and only rationalization in your mind to make quitting poker the 'right thing to do.' In that case, the only real reason you're quitting is because she doesn't like it, even though it has had no negative impact on her.Relationships need to be built on a give and take, with each person equally involved in decisions, or they will be destined to unhappiness. I do wish you good luck though, and I hope that this is not just the beginning of a large set of demands that are made to make you change to her liking.

[Suited_Up 2]

How bout that update OP.

we had a long talk about it.it's ending in me quitting for now.for now as in, if this doesn't work out...i'm back.but if this does, i may never play for real money again.i was deadset in not budging on the game. maybe about the hours i play, but not about leaving the game altogether. i don't know what happened, but i just feel compelled to leave the game right now.yeah, so call me dickless, spineless, a pussy, whatever. but i'm doing what i think is right for now.

Not a fan of healthy relationships are we?It's more than being a pussy! You think she's worth changing your life over? I highly doubt that. If she can't even accept you the way you are... what exactly is so great about her?Terrible decision.

[pokerplayer24 0]

How bout that update OP.

we had a long talk about it.it's ending in me quitting for now.for now as in, if this doesn't work out...i'm back.but if this does, i may never play for real money again.i was deadset in not budging on the game. maybe about the hours i play, but not about leaving the game altogether. i don't know what happened, but i just feel compelled to leave the game right now.yeah, so call me dickless, spineless, a pussy, whatever. but i'm doing what i think is right for now.

I mean you do realize that this shows that their is already a major major rift in your relationship. You barely even know her and shes already trying to control you. First its poker, then its going out with friends, then its calling her every few hours to check in.In a healthy relationship you need to compromise. I think everyone realizes this. But what you did here wasn't a compromise what so ever. Not gonna call you spineless or anything like that, but I just hope you realize what a bad decision you made and how unhealthy a relationship you seemingly have.

[MAXIMA 0]

You f..ked up bad.My best friend use to fish with us on weekends after putting in a 45-50hr work week. Because the fish we go after are only around for about 12 good weeks there is not a lot of time to do this. This is a passion that my buddy had for 20+ years and something that we (a group of five) had been doing yearly for at least 15 of those years. The memories that were created are some of the best in our short lives.Then came along THE WOMAN, because my buddy had met her during the summer months when the fishing wasn't happening things were great between them. As fall came along the fish started to run and my buddy wanted to go. This was quicky put to an end by THE WOMAN. We saw my buddy twice over the fishing season. His excuse was he was tring to make the realtionship amazing. It was five year since we heard from him again, and he was a changed man when he came back into our lives.What happened? To make the most amazing realtionship he had too.Give up fishing.give up campingGive up his friendsGive up his jobSell his car (that he built over 5 years)Get his hair cut the way she wanted itDress the way she wantedWhat did he get in return?No friendsA job that he hatesNo fun at allYard and house work weeklySex free for months at a time(9 months no sex)Lost his hairA drinking problemAnger and resentmentA divorce.Great realtionship EH?I am not going to try and talk you out of this but you better think long and hard about your decision.I also would suggest that you TELL HER to read this thread. It may just open her eyes, she may realize what a controling persons she is and actually come to her senses when she becomes aware of how passionate poker is to you.Best of luck man, I know that your intensions are good, but really, and I mean really think about this.Maxima

[Jeff 0]

How bout that update OP.

we had a long talk about it.it's ending in me quitting for now.for now as in, if this doesn't work out...i'm back.but if this does, i may never play for real money again.i was deadset in not budging on the game. maybe about the hours i play, but not about leaving the game altogether. i don't know what happened, but i just feel compelled to leave the game right now.yeah, so call me dickless, spineless, a pussy, whatever. but i'm doing what i think is right for now.

I have not read the entire thread, so I am not clear on what the issues were around you playing. Were they the worry about the money, too many hours away, a gambling thing, or something else? Seems like the hours would be a easy compromise. The money is an easy fix to my using my suggestion of telling her about your bankroll. Why on earth would you have to give up playing poker entirely? For ever?Doesn't make the slightest bit of sense.

[Vidgames 0]

i'm not asking for people to change my mind here. i listened to everyone's advice, and i went with what felt i was supposed to do.i like i said, this may just be temporary. and if it is, you'll see me back.in truth, what alternative is there really? you keep playing, and drive off anyone you care about, and then when you go broke, you have no one there to pick you up off the ground.you keep playing, and you obtain the success you desire, but you have no one to share it with.i'm not talking about just this girl, i'm talking about friends/family as well.

Without knowing all the circumstances (are you profitable as a poker player? why does she want you to quit poker? are your family/friends also down on you about poker, and why?), it seems to me that you're making a sacrifice instead of a compromise. Sacrifice can be for the best (if you're a losing poker player and everyone sees you continuing as self-destructive), but I can't tell if that's the case here.The concern to me is the part "...and then when you go broke, you have no one there to pick you up off the ground." Again, without knowing all the facts, it's hard to give advice, but this sounds ominous. You didn't even say "...if you go broke..." "When" sounds so definite.If you're a good player and you're quitting to make others happy, it's a mistake. If you're just doing it to make your girlfriend happy, you have to consider her personality...will she then ask you to give up seeing your friends or playing basketball on weekends? Is it a big sacrifice for you to give up poker? To give it up for her? Of course, if you're a bad and/or reckless player, consider it a blessing that others are looking out for you.Good luck... A E

[GWCGWC 83]

How bout that update OP.

we had a long talk about it.it's ending in me quitting for now.for now as in, if this doesn't work out...i'm back.but if this does, i may never play for real money again.i was deadset in not budging on the game. maybe about the hours i play, but not about leaving the game altogether. i don't know what happened, but i just feel compelled to leave the game right now.yeah, so call me dickless, spineless, a pussy, whatever. but i'm doing what i think is right for now.

This is the most telling explaination.

[tskillz187 0]

HangukMiguk wanted me to tell you guys not too look for a response from him. He and his girlfriend had yet another talk and they decided that him posting on here would also be a problem. Everyone have a great day.

[MAXIMA 0]

HangukMiguk wanted me to tell you guys not too look for a response from him. He and his girlfriend had yet another talk and they decided that him posting on here would also be a problem. Everyone have a great day.

Very sad day for all men everywhere.....GOD HELP US!!!!!

[tskillz187 0]

I was being sarcastic, sadly as I read it over I realized that this would not be easily identified, not because that the average poster is an idiot (not that you aren't either) but because the OP is such a girl. So to clear things up, I was joking, I have had no communication with the OP nor do I know him personally. But from what I do know, this conversation will be had no later than 1 week from today.

[MikeJohnson724 0]

I was being sarcastic, sadly as I read it over I realized that this would not be easily identified, not because that the average poster is an idiot (not that you aren't either) but because the OP is such a girl.  So to clear things up, I was joking, I have had no communication with the OP nor do I know him personally.  But from what I do know, this conversation will be had no later than 1 week from today.

Great post, had me wondering about the guy. haha. I am sure that will be the next step, NO more internet because he might look at other girls?

[finztotheleft 0]

You got pwned by a woman.That's weak.

D......It's really, really weak. Less than 2 months ago he got his heart broken. This is a brand new relationship. I think Hanguk is trying too hard.Hanguk......I really do wish you luck. Maybe my read is way off here, but girls/women can get turned off if you act too crazy in love too soon.

[Vidgames 0]

I was being sarcastic, sadly as I read it over I realized that this would not be easily identified

It's important when posting to a message board to use tags, such as [sarcasm]"Doyle Brunson got lucky playing 10-2 off, but when you play it, I'm in awe."[/sarcasm]:wink: A E

[tskillz187 0]

I was being sarcastic, sadly as I read it over I realized that this would not be easily identified

It's important when posting to a message board to use tags, such as [sarcasm]"Doyle Brunson got lucky playing 10-2 off, but when you play it, I'm in awe."[/sarcasm]:wink: A E

Meh, I prefer to watch people not see the sarcasm. I was once a SW user, but that takes the fun away from being sarcastic. If you told people everytime you were being sarcastic, there would be no use for sarcasm. I have however gathered that you are most likely being sarcastic in your response as well, which is brilliant.

[Suited_Up 2]

I was being sarcastic, sadly as I read it over I realized that this would not be easily identified

It's important when posting to a message board to use tags, such as [sarcasm]"Doyle Brunson got lucky playing 10-2 off, but when you play it, I'm in awe."[/sarcasm]:wink: A E

Meh, I prefer to watch people not see the sarcasm. I was once a SW user, but that takes the fun away from being sarcastic. If you told people everytime you were being sarcastic, there would be no use for sarcasm. I have however gathered that you are most likely being sarcastic in your response as well, which is brilliant.

Agreed, same for me.and I got the joke the first time around.

[tskillz187 0]

If only you could figure out when to push with J10 when you flop the nuts, then you'd be one of my favorite posters :wink: But obviously you got it the first time though, there are tiers of pple in FCP and in the world, we are top tier.

[Suited_Up 2]

If only you could figure out when to push with J10 when you flop the nuts, then you'd be one of my favorite posters :wink:  But obviously you got it the first time though, there are tiers of pple in FCP and in the world, we are top tier.

Yeah, If i'm not a fan of value... I will go ahead and start pushing the nuts every time I have them. Noted.

[arerad 0]

Please Please Please be careful.I WAS married to someone very controlling and manipulating. After many unhappy years I decided that it was enough.Recently on a trip to Vegas I was staying at the Wynn hotel. The poker rate is $129/night if you play minimum 6 hours per day. I thought that was a lot, but I would make it. On the second day my girlfriend asked if she joined in to play would those hours count with mine(they do), since we were together. I then realized how much better my life is now and how happy I am. My girlfriend is not a poker player, but she is a great companion. Don't sacrifice the things you enjoy doing. There is someone out there that will understand and want to share everything with you. Find HER ! !gl

[stealfromblind 0]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  Worst. Story. Ever.  .

[KingAustin 0]

OK, seriously.......we need to see how the conversation went down. I'm really curious why she despises poker so much.

[HangukMiguk 8]

Ok, so yeah, everyone was right.I pretty much wound up getting reamed in the end. Long story, and very stupid, but yeah, I got out of it pretty quick after it all started sliding downhillCome my next paycheck from my 9-5...making a deposit again.Just thought I'd go ahead and open my mouth and insert my foot.

[Tiltinagain 973]

Please Please Please be careful.I WAS married to someone very controlling and manipulating. After many unhappy years I decided that it was enough.Recently on a trip to Vegas I was staying at the Wynn hotel. The poker rate is $129/night if you play minimum 6 hours per day. I thought that was a lot, but I would make it. On the second day my girlfriend asked if she joined in to play would those hours count with mine(they do), since we were together. I then realized how much better my life is now and how happy I am. My girlfriend is not a poker player, but she is a great companion. Don't sacrifice the things you enjoy doing. There is someone out there that will understand and want to share everything with you. Find HER ! !gl

Best advice I've read on here in a long time. period.