Whiskey16 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Tucker Max's definition of a 1-star:1-star (aka, Common-stock pig): No redeeming qualities. This girl is ugly, usually fat, boring and sucks in just about everyway possible. If you don't know a common-stock pig when you see one, you are destined to spend the rest of your life with one.at least she wasn't a zero star, aka "Wildebeest"I guess I forgot to add the .5 for big tits, but you get the point. Link to post Share on other sites
renaedawn 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Tucker Max's definition of a 1-star:1-star (aka, Common-stock pig): No redeeming qualities. This girl is ugly, usually fat, boring and sucks in just about everyway possible. If you don't know a common-stock pig when you see one, you are destined to spend the rest of your life with one.at least she wasn't a zero star, aka "Wildebeest"What are the other definitions? And give me some examples from people we all know, not celebrities though. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 You confuse me.It's part of my charm. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 What are the other definitions? And give me some examples from people we all know, not celebrities though.This sounds like a really unfun game. Link to post Share on other sites
lvpro 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 What are the other definitions? And give me some examples from people we all know, not celebrities though.Here's the whole scale. I removed some parts for brevity's sake.Be warned, misogyny (albeit it funny misogyny), ho.For the sake of myself and everyone else, I'll refrain from examples.The Tucker Max Female Rating SystemThe scale:1-star (aka, Common-stock pig): No redeeming qualities. This girl is ugly, usually fat, boring and sucks in just about everyway possible. If you don't know a common-stock pig when you see one, you are destined to spend the rest of your life with one.2-star (aka, Respectable pig): One redeeming quality, like large breasts, nice ***, cute face, great dick-sucking lips, etc. If you concentrate on that one redeeming physical quality, and you get shit-housed, you're not too upset with yourself waking up next to a respectable pig. Of course, you still make her crawl out the window when she leaves, because you don't want your friends to see her, but at least you don't want to gargle bleach and scrub yourself like a rape victim after she leaves.3-star (aka Decent or attractive): Acceptable to be seen with in public. She is average when sober, but looks MUCH better after only about three beers. You'll admit to your friends that you're fucking her, but you still make fun of her behind her back, and tell them lies about her sexual prowess and bi-sexual tendencies to justify your dealings with her. She's not bad overall, and will do if nothing better comes along, but could be left in a heartbeat if the opportunity for a hot chick comes along. Sadly, most guys end up having to settle for a 3-star, as these are the most prevalent type of women.4-star (aka Girlfriend material): This is the girl that is very attractive, but not super hot. You will be seen with her in public at any point in the day, even before drinking. You think twice before ditching this girl for a hot chick, especially if she has special powers (tongue ring, double jointed, etc.). Ascension to the 4-star level can only be attained through use of a petition. The candidate must secure 75% of the vote from those polled. (NOTE: Bonus points only make a candidate petition eligible. She still must garner 75% of the vote.)5-star (aka Super hottie): This is the hot chick. Hopefully no further explanation is necessary. It's kind of like the Hall of Fame. VERY FEW WOMEN ARE 5-STARS, about 5-10% of the population. A declaration that someone is hot is assumed to be true, but can be rebuked if 25% of those polled vote against her 5-star placement.Other category:0-star (aka, Wildebeast): The lowest of the low. A 1-star (common-stock pig) with a terrible personality qualifies as a Wildebeast. They should all be put to sleep. This is that loud, disgusting fat girl in the bar that smokes, orders complicated drinks and then spills them on everyone, and is generally just so annoying that you have to actively restrain yourself from kicking her in the crotch and stomping on her throat until she drowns on her own blood. There is no insult too mean or crude for her, and basic human rights do not apply to her. Link to post Share on other sites
dna4ever 2 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 What are the other definitions? And give me some examples from people we all know, not celebrities though.Knock KnockWhose There?Bad Idea Link to post Share on other sites
jeff_536 3 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Knock KnockWhose There?Bad Ideareally? whose? really? Link to post Share on other sites
jhnyblz 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Name an animal whose name has 3 letters in it ... First guy says Frog, 2nd guy says Alligator roflTechnically, those are both correct answers according to the question you have written above.Take your time.... I typically just don't hit into the sand.Open your stance. Open your club face. Put the ball in the middle of your stance. Pick a spot 1" behind the ball, steepen your backswing, no matter how far you take your backswing, swing full through the spot 1" behing the ball and all the way through your follow through.Text book right there. Damn these guys are good. Tucker Max's definition of a 1-star:1-star (aka, Common-stock pig): No redeeming qualities. This girl is ugly, usually fat, boring and sucks in just about everyway possible. If you don't know a common-stock pig when you see one, you are destined to spend the rest of your life with one.at least she wasn't a zero star, aka "Wildebeest"I must read this book. I've made fun of girls before by callling them a WildeBeast. Funny stuff right there. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Knock KnockWhose There?Bad IdeaAhhh. I always enjoy that one time a month when Alan makes me laugh. It's like a period without the water retention or bleeding. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Sweet, Sucky, Unexpected?, Elaborate? Eh, Variance.1. Sweet - yes2. Sucky - yes, I didn't know the lady but I was friends with her daughters so it's a bummer.3. Unexpected - yes, sort of. I knew he was engaged and planned a ceremony for December with her family in Vietnam (yes I know where that is) and had given thought to doing a small courthouse wedding first for greencard-type purposes. I just didn't know when or if it would happen. Hearing from my mom after the fact was a bit unexpected. But my buddy is just like me, so just doing something like this and then be like, "Oh yeah, I got married last month" would be typical.4. Elaborate - Not much to elaborate on, honestly. She called while I was on the phone with my 7-year-old nephew who was educating me about how companies get oil out of the earth. About to get off-topic - he amazes me. He's barely 7 and has enough courtesy to ask me how I like my new job in California. I mention something as simple as I can about how we make equipment that helps people drill for oil and he tells me that his class is reading a book about the earth and natural resources. He tells me that on page 24 (kid has an unbelievable memory) they tell you how oil is sucked out of the earth. In the past, he's also told me how to defend yourself in the event of a shark attack. He's my hero and pretty much rules. Anyway, I was engrossed in his 7-year-old mind having the capacity to discuss oil drilling on his way to a friend's birthday pool party (I would have already had my water wings on bugging my mom about how much longer until I got to swim). Anyway, I got an incoming call, noticed with a little surprise that it was Jess, and kept going with my conversation. After I got off the phone I decided not to listen to the voicemail and headed to the casino...5. Eh, Variance - yeah, pretty much. At least I got to witness an intense argument between a young kid who's "played in at least 50 casinos in this country" and an old guy who was being a dick for no other apparent reason than to be a dick about whether the kid had to show his hand after his opponent had been put all in. The kid waited until the cards had been run and his opponent showed a winning hand and then mucked. The old guy asked what hand he mucked (something he had done numerous times when the kid mucked losing hands) and the kid got all pissed. The floor came over and everything. It was funny. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 It's all in the bounce!For me, it's all in getting the ball anywhere on the green and being happy with that. Link to post Share on other sites
dms26 3 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 what rate did you get?$59 on Wed, Thu and Sun. $79 on Fri and Sat. Not sure what the poker rate is, I've heard a few people say to not ask about it until you already have your room or they will give you a room in the old section Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I typically just don't hit into the sand.Open your stance. Open your club face. Put the ball in the middle of your stance. Pick a spot 1" behind the ball, steepen your backswing, no matter how far you take your backswing, swing full through the spot 1" behing the ball and all the way through your follow through.Not hitting into the sand is the strategy I usually employ. And I know all of that other stuff. Knowing does not = executing, though. Link to post Share on other sites
renaedawn 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 This sounds like a really unfun game. For the sake of myself and everyone else, I'll refrain from examples. Knock KnockWhose There?Bad Idea really? whose? really?You guys are on to my clever ruse. Damn. I need to change up my game I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
dms26 3 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy b-day Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I must read this book. I've made fun of girls before by callling them a WildeBeast. Funny stuff right there.Here's my two cents on the book:It's defintiely funny, he's definitely a horrible person, it's somewhat sad, and I don't believe all of it is true. You'll definitely laugh in a "going to Hell" sort of way many times. Link to post Share on other sites
jhnyblz 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Dustin - Definitely some nice shooting there. Wish I could get out enough to get my score down there. I'm outtie fockers. Yeah, throw that in your pipes and smoke it!!!! Wish I was going to play golf, alas I am not though. Thanks for the info on the book Brett.... Link to post Share on other sites
dms26 3 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 That's awesome. I bought a new sand wedge this weekend. And by new, I mean the first sand wedge I've ever purchased. I'm looking forward to the first time I use it and realize that a new club won't change the fact that I might be the worst bunker player in the history of the world.yeah I'm not great out of the sand either, but the course I usually play doesn't have many traps. I need to buy a 3 wood, haven't had one for a couple years now.I'm still in need of a room. Left-handed pitchers gotta stick together.But what if I bat righty? Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Thanks for the info on the book Brett....It's worth the read. Link to post Share on other sites
dna4ever 2 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 But what if I bat righty?I would take a gander to say that as long as you are a good catcher he could truely give a fuk about your batting Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 But what if I bat righty?No way, me too! Link to post Share on other sites
SAM_Hard8 50 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 For me, it's all in getting the ball anywhere on the green and being happy with that.so how did you choose this club? Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskey16 1 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Dustin - Definitely some nice shooting there. Wish I could get out enough to get my score down there. I'm outtie fockers. Yeah, throw that in your pipes and smoke it!!!! Wish I was going to play golf, alas I am not though. Thanks for the info on the book Brett....www.tuckermax.comSave the $12, all the stories are on the website, as far as I could tell. Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I would take a gander to say that as long as you are a good catcher he could truely give a fuk about your battingDamnit you fixed it. I was like, "What the fuck is a ganderto?" Link to post Share on other sites
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