the sexy woman on this forum

[mrdannyg 274]

I have a question.Why do 30 something married chicks get off on attention from 19 year old boys on internet poker forums ladies?Why??

Me too.Why do 30 something romance novel writers date (or what have you) 19 year old canadians they met via poker forums?Oh wait...damnit.. :wink: - Jordan

Smash is a romance novel now? That's a new one.I'm confused.And the answer to Smash's question is obvious (and yes I realize it was rhetorical) - where else are 30-something married women going to get attention from 19-year old boys? At least 30-something married guys can maybe buy a cool car or hang out pervertedly at bars and get attention of younger women, but older women can't do that.Odd though, since many younger men (myself not included however) are interested in older women and much more rarely vice versa. But I digress. Meh this whole paragraph is stupid, but I'm too tired to reread it to decide whether to just delete it. I hope you didn't suffer through it. And are continuing to suffer through it...Bloink.

[Jelly-Filled Ace 1]

We all crash and burn. It happens.Not even the best laid pick-up line is a lock.If you find yourself saying something like this during a pick-up conversation, hit the ejector seat button and parachute to safety."No really, I understand why you tattooed your lips black, I didn't think the Goth look would fade away either.""Sure, I think most men know one boob is bigger than the other, but one whole cup size? really ??""Sorry, I guess I shoulda told you I lost "it" in a hunting accident.""You're the first woman I ever met that knew the firing order on a 350 chevy small block.""Your daughter dates 45 year old men too?""Ooooh, so the chlorine turned your hair green. Yes I agree, it will probably wash out in a few weeks.""I suppose it's possible 'with a womens touch' to make your 10 x 50 trailer cozy.""*nsync this."

[Diabolical 0]

Did I Ever tell you how I became Diabolical?

[loogie 115]

Wait a second. I thought it was some funny, elaborate joke before, but now I'm not sure. Are Smash and the Sauce really going at it?'Cause if they are, then maybe Smash is right.There is no god.

[Diabolical 0]

Commerce was my "home base" back then. When I learned to meet chicks, have a good time with them and,very possibly, get them in the sack, it was at commerce. That bar was cool because the bar stools were high. So when your sitting down, you are at "eye-level". This made it real easy to talk to everyone around the bar.Ok, so I met this waitress cause she was being rude to me when I gave her money for my beer. She wasn't actually saying anything rude, she was just being very cold and I don't like that when i'm tipping someone.So i'm on this stud table, and she does it again and I tell everyone that i'm goin to tell her something when she comes back. She comes back and I give her the chips but I don't let go of the chips. and she just swoops by commencing to hit and run with my chips as her target. But she is pulled backward because I didn't let go of the chips.She turns around, as if ready to talk som shhiaat, and I tell her "you have to smile more often" She doesn't know what to say...............so she smiles and says "i'm tired." From then on I had that running line with her. Everytime I saw her I would tell her to smile.We ended up hooking up for a while and..................... let me tell you. This waitress,we"ll call her Gina.(names will be changed to protect the innoce- ............. girls in the story) She had the most........................BEAUTIFUL ......... holy of holy areas i've ever seen. God Bless all you women!! So, needless to say, she got me very big. and after alot of 4 play, She tells me, "Make love to me." And I look her in her eyes and say "I'm not going to make love to you,.........I'm goin to f you. We make out alittle more and she asks again" Make love to me." and I look at her again. And with a more convincing look I say" No.................... I'm goin to F you. That got her goin to the point where when we had our loving moment, She kept moaning F me, F me, F me........................ And it made me think that I really love women. I love them sooooooooooo much.Ok, there's a point to this. I have some questions for the Sexy women after I finish(no pun intended)I was like a dog.........I would go to her and do my thing,.............walk away for while. Walk in a circle a couple times, then go for some more. Oh yea,.....I forgot to mention.................when i'm with a women for the first time I either; last a very long time,........or I don't unload at all. Sometimes it frustrates the chick cause she gets her ego hurt and thinks that she's not turning me on. So she tries even harder. God Bless Women........... Man was I wearing her out. I was in heaven when I used my mouth on her most secret of places. It was just a Beautiful site........... you had to have been there. She told me , near the end of our session that her breasts were sore from me licking them so much.Needles to say, I had alot of fun with Gina. ..........................................hmm..........................yea, she's a memory alright.

[Diabolical 0]

Man,........I don't think that I would have been in the position(s) I was in with Gina if I didn't have the CONFIDENCE to get her to talk to me.

[bleacherbum3 9]

Commerce was my "home base" back then. When I learned to meet chicks, have a good time with them and,very possibly, get them in the sack, it was at commerce. That bar was cool because the bar stools were high. So when your sitting down, you are at "eye-level". This made it real easy to talk to everyone around the bar.Ok, so I met this waitress cause she was being rude to me when I gave her money for my beer. She wasn't actually saying anything rude, she was just being very cold and I don't like that when i'm tipping someone.So i'm on this stud table, and she does it again and I tell everyone that i'm goin to tell her something when she comes back. She comes back and I give her the chips but I don't let go of the chips. and she just swoops by commencing to hit and run with my chips as her target. But she is pulled backward because I didn't let go of the chips.She turns around, as if ready to talk som shhiaat, and I tell her "you have to smile more often" She doesn't know what to say...............so she smiles and says "i'm tired." From then on I had that running line with her. Everytime I saw her I would tell her to smile.We ended up hooking up for a while and..................... let me tell you. This waitress,we"ll call her Gina.(names will be changed to protect the innoce- ............. girls in the story) She had the most........................BEAUTIFUL ......... holy of holy areas i've ever seen. God Bless all you women!! So, needless to say, she got me very big. and after alot of 4 play, She tells me, "Make love to me." And I look her in her eyes and say "I'm not going to make love to you,.........I'm goin to f you. We make out alittle more and she asks again" Make love to me." and I look at her again. And with a more convincing look I say" No.................... I'm goin to F you. That got her goin to the point where when we had our loving moment, She kept moaning F me, F me, F me........................ And it made me think that I really love women. I love them sooooooooooo much.Ok, there's a point to this. I have some questions for the Sexy women after I finish(no pun intended)I was like a dog.........I would go to her and do my thing,.............walk away for while. Walk in a circle a couple times, then go for some more. Oh yea,.....I forgot to mention.................when i'm with a women for the first time I either; last a very long time,........or I don't unload at all. Sometimes it frustrates the chick cause she gets her ego hurt and thinks that she's not turning me on. So she tries even harder. God Bless Women........... Man was I wearing her out. I was in heaven when I used my mouth on her most secret of places. It was just a Beautiful site........... you had to have been there. She told me , near the end of our session that her breasts were sore from me licking them so much.Needles to say, I had alot of fun with Gina. ..........................................hmm..........................yea, she's a memory alright.

How the hell is this thread STILL in general?

[Diabolical 0]

Ok, so that was a time, when I went on a big run of woman comin from................everywhere. My question to the Sexy Women on this forum are;-Do you guys compete with each other so much that you try and "steal" a guy away from another girl just to see if you can?-I was talking about the Beautiful thing I saw on Gina. She was shaved.Question; unshaved shaved or neatly trimmed-would you guys ever consider having sex in a place or situation that upped the odds that you would get caught. Does it turn you on that you "might" get caught-When you talk amongst yourselves, Do you guys talk about who your with and what it's like to have sex with him, measurments, stamina and such.Need to know the Info.Looking for the female responses please$1 tips on pokerstars under the name : Diabolical greatly appreciated

[Diabolical 0]

We can use some sexy pics while we wait. Bring in the appropiate people to handle that job

[Diabolical 0]

fred Durst said Britney Spears was "unshaved" when he was with her

[Petoria 0]

Commerce was my "home base" back then. When I learned to meet chicks, have a good time with them and,very possibly, get them in the sack, it was at commerce. That bar was cool because the bar stools were high. So when your sitting down, you are at "eye-level". This made it real easy to talk to everyone around the bar.Ok, so I met this waitress cause she was being rude to me when I gave her money for my beer. She wasn't actually saying anything rude, she was just being very cold and I don't like that when i'm tipping someone.So i'm on this stud table, and she does it again and I tell everyone that i'm goin to tell her something when she comes back. She comes back and I give her the chips but I don't let go of the chips. and she just swoops by commencing to hit and run with my chips as her target. But she is pulled backward because I didn't let go of the chips.She turns around, as if ready to talk som shhiaat, and I tell her "you have to smile more often" She doesn't know what to say...............so she smiles and says "i'm tired." From then on I had that running line with her. Everytime I saw her I would tell her to smile.We ended up hooking up for a while and..................... let me tell you. This waitress,we"ll call her Gina.(names will be changed to protect the innoce- ............. girls in the story) She had the most........................BEAUTIFUL ......... holy of holy areas i've ever seen. God Bless all you women!! So, needless to say, she got me very big. and after alot of 4 play, She tells me, "Make love to me." And I look her in her eyes and say "I'm not going to make love to you,.........I'm goin to f you. We make out alittle more and she asks again" Make love to me." and I look at her again. And with a more convincing look I say" No.................... I'm goin to F you. That got her goin to the point where when we had our loving moment, She kept moaning F me, F me, F me........................ And it made me think that I really love women. I love them sooooooooooo much.Ok, there's a point to this. I have some questions for the Sexy women after I finish(no pun intended)I was like a dog.........I would go to her and do my thing,.............walk away for while. Walk in a circle a couple times, then go for some more. Oh yea,.....I forgot to mention.................when i'm with a women for the first time I either; last a very long time,........or I don't unload at all. Sometimes it frustrates the chick cause she gets her ego hurt and thinks that she's not turning me on. So she tries even harder. God Bless Women........... Man was I wearing her out. I was in heaven when I used my mouth on her most secret of places. It was just a Beautiful site........... you had to have been there. She told me , near the end of our session that her breasts were sore from me licking them so much.Needles to say, I had alot of fun with Gina. ..........................................hmm..........................yea, she's a memory alright.

I almost woke up my roommate when I read this, bc I was laughing so hard. D you are a crazy bastard. You might've scared everyone away with, "She told me , near the end of our session that her breasts were sore from me licking them so much." That's something that we just didnt need to know.

[cdt002 0]

There have been some threads on FCP that have made me, let's say curious, about the general sanity of the forum. This Diabolical character is tipping the scales well into the insane. Aren't there Dear Abby columns and Dr. Laura for crazy ass shit like this? I love this random stuff.

[Rebecca 0]

Does anyone on the internet understand the phrase:"TOO MUCH INFO"anymore?

[jcpoker 0]

i've never been one to use cheesy pickup lines, but this weekend in vegas a friend shared a good one with me..."hey, i like your shoes......wanna f*%k?"__________________________________________________________www.pokulator.com check the odds, raise your game

[kers2 0]

Bump for hilarity

[lolita21 0]

Ok, enough with the religious views and the fighting back and forth.I want to know how many woman who play poker and are on this site.REPRESENT!!!!!!!!!!   I have some questions about your poker games and what it's like being a woman in poker.But first, let's see how many of you are here.

Hand up. Genuine female. Genuine poker player working very hard on improving my no limit game. (From the comments at UB, no I'm not 70 years old, and no I'm not 400#) :)Your question about what it's like to play as a female is difficult to answer, as I've never played as a male. :-) I often get softplayed by tourists, bullied by aggressive pros, and most that I've played with frequently (fellow pros), play me much like the other players. Is it differnet? I dunno; I've never been a guy nor ever desired to be. :)lolita21

[ggriffin 0]

lol, with his latest story diabolical has either reached an all time high or all time low, i just can't figure out which one. the guy is hilarious.this is like an episode of loveline gone bad. but even wth all that i don't know if you can beat the shaved or unshaved comment in the general poker forum

[renaedawn 1]

I have a question.Why do 30 something married chicks get off on attention from 19 year old boys on internet poker forums ladies?Why??

Pot meet kettle.I could say it's a selfless act, that we're here to educate a new generation of young men, to mold their minds and shape the attitude of the future but you and I both know that's bullshit.Probably has a lot to do with the same reasons that mid level poker players come here to get attention from 19 year old boys who want to be just like them when they grow up. We just make it more interesting with a sexual aspect. :wink: And to MrdannyG, I think you are wrong in your generalization. 30 something women don't come here looking for attention. At least not the 4 or 5 I actually know on this forum. We came here looking for poker discussion and the attention is a pleasant by-product. Believe it or not, I (and Nik and Idaho) can all go to a bar and get picked up by younger men if we so desired. That's not the primary reason why we're here. Like I said, it's a pleasant by-product.

[Petoria 0]

I have a question.Why do 30 something married chicks get off on attention from 19 year old boys on internet poker forums ladies?Why??

Pot meet kettle.I could say it's a selfless act, that we're here to educate a new generation of young men, to mold their minds and shape the attitude of the future but you and I both know that's bullshit.Probably has a lot to do with the same reasons that mid level poker players come here to get attention from 19 year old boys who want to be just like them when they grow up. We just make it more interesting with a sexual aspect.

Sex more interesting than poker someone is dreaming....(S/W)

[renaedawn 1]

-would you guys ever consider having sex in a place or situation that upped the odds that you would get caught. Does it turn you on that you "might" get caught-When you talk amongst yourselves, Do you guys talk about who your with and what it's like to have sex with him, measurments, stamina and such.

These are the only 2 questions of that whole post that I am going to answer.yes and yesAnd I'm beginning to think this thread is less about your quest for knowledge and more just your excuse to tell us stories of your conquests. Which is fine if that's what you want to do but let's not try to make it more noble than it really is, okay?

[Petoria 0]

-would you guys ever consider having sex in a place or situation that upped the odds that you would get caught. Does it turn you on that you "might" get caught-When you talk amongst yourselves, Do you guys talk about who your with and what it's like to have sex with him, measurments, stamina and such.

These are the only 2 questions of that whole post that I am going to answer.yes and yesAnd I'm beginning to think this thread is less about your quest for knowledge and more just your excuse to tell us stories of your conquests. Which is fine if that's what you want to do but let's not try to make it more noble than it really is, okay?

Amen....Although you must admit they have been quite funny.

[kers2 0]

This one time I was at my "Home Base" the local townie bar on the upper east west nautical side of Syracuse (daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cuse) when I spotted this beautiful specimen of a womEn staring at me with her only unpatched eye from across the bar. Needless to say she was a -10 so I was hooked.I couldnt figure out how to muster up enough CONFIDENCE to talk to her so I just smiled in her direction. When she smiled back and showed off her 3 beautiful yellow teeth I was instantly aroused, and decided I must have her. That was all the confidence boost I needed, and as I made my way over to her, the sound of love and the crushed peanut shells I walking on was in the air.I vomited a little in my mouth when I noticed a mole on her cheek with Men the Master hairs growing out of it... but I would not be deterred. I know I couldn't just KISS her randomly out of the blue, so I decided to pull one of her 3 remaining teeth out with a pair of plyers and suck on it like a jolly rancher. Let me tell you, if jolly ranchers ever decided to make a coffee stain/cigarette flavored candy it would sell like cakes that are hot!!! It was like an orgy in my mouth. She didnt seem to mind the blood pouring out of her mouth, it actually was an aphrodisiac for her. She clubbed me over the head and dragged me to her car where we made passionate love for about an hour. It took me about 59 minutes to cut through the unshaven junglebush with my swiss army knife (always come prepared!), but the minute I was inside her was well worth it let me tell you!! The subsequent STD's however, not so much. So that's my conquest story. Aaahhh man good times. Would I do it again?In a word, absofuckinlutely

[Petoria 0]

This one time I was at my "Home Base" the local townie bar on the upper east west nautical side of Syracuse (daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cuse) when I spotted this beautiful specimen of a womEn staring at me with her only unpatched eye from across the bar. Needless to say she was a -10 so I was hooked.I couldnt figure out how to muster up enough CONFIDENCE to talk to her so I just smiled in her direction. When she smiled back and showed off her 3 beautiful yellow teeth I was instantly aroused, and decided I must have her. That was all the confidence boost I needed, and as I made my way over to her, the sound of love and the crushed peanut shells I walking on was in the air.I vomited a little in my mouth when I noticed a mole on her cheek with Men the Master hairs growing out of it... but I would not be deterred. I know I couldn't just KISS her randomly out of the blue, so I decided to pull one of her 3 remaining teeth out with a pair of plyers and suck on it like a jolly rancher. Let me tell you, if jolly ranchers ever decided to make a coffee stain/cigarette flavored candy it would sell like cakes that are hot!!! It was like an orgy in my mouth. She didnt seem to mind the blood pouring out of her mouth, it actually was an aphrodisiac for her. She clubbed me over the head and dragged me to her car where we made passionate love for about an hour. It took me about 59 minutes to cut through the unshaven junglebush with my swiss army knife (always come prepared!), but the minute I was inside her was well worth it let me tell you!! The subsequent STD's however, not so much. So that's my conquest story. Aaahhh man good times. Would I do it again?In a word, absofuckinlutely

That boy ain't right.

[superchuck 0]

"yes i agree, preperation H does feel good..........on the hole"

[FlyerFan9 0]

This one time I was at my "Home Base" the local townie bar on the upper east west nautical side of Syracuse (daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Cuse) when I spotted this beautiful specimen of a womEn staring at me with her only unpatched eye from across the bar. Needless to say she was a -10 so I was hooked.I couldnt figure out how to muster up enough CONFIDENCE to talk to her so I just smiled in her direction. When she smiled back and showed off her 3 beautiful yellow teeth I was instantly aroused, and decided I must have her. That was all the confidence boost I needed, and as I made my way over to her, the sound of love and the crushed peanut shells I walking on was in the air.I vomited a little in my mouth when I noticed a mole on her cheek with Men the Master hairs growing out of it... but I would not be deterred. I know I couldn't just KISS her randomly out of the blue, so I decided to pull one of her 3 remaining teeth out with a pair of plyers and suck on it like a jolly rancher. Let me tell you, if jolly ranchers ever decided to make a coffee stain/cigarette flavored candy it would sell like cakes that are hot!!! It was like an orgy in my mouth. She didnt seem to mind the blood pouring out of her mouth, it actually was an aphrodisiac for her. She clubbed me over the head and dragged me to her car where we made passionate love for about an hour. It took me about 59 minutes to cut through the unshaven junglebush with my swiss army knife (always come prepared!), but the minute I was inside her was well worth it let me tell you!! The subsequent STD's however, not so much. So that's my conquest story. Aaahhh man good times. Would I do it again?In a word, absofuckinlutely

FINALLY!! the real story has come out :roll: