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need help from anyone who is funny or clever.


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For any Napoleon Dynamite fans there's about 1000 quotes in that movie.The best one possibly being, "Back in '82 I could throw a pig skin a quarter mile."
I like..."Whatever the heck I feel like I wanna do!!"
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"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.""If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.""If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns""If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?""When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.""Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.""Cheer up, the worst is yet to come."

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First things first...You can start off by encouraging everyone to greet each other with "pogue mahone." It's a Gaelic phrase that means...ah...."have a good day." LMAOshhhh....quiet rkard
Isn't it actually "thoin," with an accent over the i? Just to be nitpicky...
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i got one, borrowed from the classic spaceballs: first you must write really really small and write the following: if you can read this you dont need glasses. cant beat that and then catching the jackass squinting at it later on.

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a poem by some comedian I saw once entitled, "I miss her sometimes"the other day I ran into my ex-girlfriendthen I turned around and ran into her againI miss her sometimes
That sounds like Jeff Ross the curly haired Jew.He had another poem once that was something like thisTitle: "Barbara, I said""Barbara", I said, "I really love the way you look""Barbara", I said, "I realy love the way you smell"."Barbara", I said, "I love everything about you.""Jeff", she said, "My name's Karen."lol.
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yes, it was Jeff Ross...thanksAnother one went sort of like this...When I said hello for the first time she just smiled, and giggledWhen I asked her out on a date she just smiled, and giggledWhen I asked her to marry me she just smiled, and giggledthat's when I realized...she's retardeddon't know if that's in good enough taste, but it's funny nonetheless

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Hey Guys,This is my first post to the forum, (love it) although I've been reading for a while. Thought this phrase might be cool especially since it just came up today from a co-worker..."It's not how many times we shoot ourselves in the foot that surprises me... It's the speed at which we reload."Another good one I've heard..."Some days you're the hydrant. Some days you're the dog."

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"I really like bumper stickers, they tell me...hey we should never hang out"" I really like cake, when a baby is born I just think, man that's just more cake in the world. But how about negative cakes, like surprise...your adopted."-Demetri Martin

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- I have a circle driveway, I can't get out.- Sponges are always growing in the ocean, now we'll never know how deep it really is- Computers are like girlfriends, when you first get its the best thing on the planet, after 3 years you want a new one

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The good old times--all times when old are good-- Are gone. - Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron), Age of Bronze

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