Jump to content

full contact poker on tv? (not what you think)


Recommended Posts

I was watching Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo last night (aka the Phil Gordon Show) :oops: There was Meatloaf (everyone called him Meat, including himself), Howie Mandel and 3 others (to borrow a phrase from Superstars II). At one point meatloaf said something like "it's time for FullContactPoker". He was not refering to this site though. Unfortunately Phil didn't say "Hey, by the way, that is Daniel Negreanu's Website". :evil: That was the highlight of the show in my opinion. All the players were male. What's up with that? Not only did the poker just suck (as usual) but not much funny happened. I would have left out that (true) review but if Phil is not going to plug DN's site then I am not going to hold back either. :twisted:

Link to post
Share on other sites

that show is the answer to beating your average retard playing in a tourney with you.might as well be called "These are the cards i'm usually holding" by Donk

Link to post
Share on other sites

C'mon be fair whats more entertaining than seeing Camryn Mannheim fold her nut flush because she is too lazy to see if she has a diamond?I actually sort of like to veg out to it but my pal compares it to watching retards have sex

Link to post
Share on other sites
C'mon be fair whats more entertaining than seeing Camryn Mannheim fold her nut flush because she is too lazy to see if she has a diamond?I actually sort of like to veg out to it but my pal compares it to watching retards have sex
Clearly, he is a wise, wise man.
Link to post
Share on other sites

It is a fairly poor show.. the play is awful, but the final two last night were pretty good players... Howie was a riot, though...I know they filmed an espisode with the guys from OCC... i want to see that one.. probably already missed it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

First off, I think Howie Mandel started the Full Contact Poker conversation by asking the dealer "Have you ever dealt Full Contact Poker?" Meat Loaf immediately ran with it, giving an example of what the opening tag line might be.Second, I agree with those who felt Phil Gordon should have mentioned that Full Contact Poker is the name of this wonderful site, giving DN a plug. Especially since, after yesterday, we know Daniel isn't afraid to talk about other poker players on his site. (I know the show is taped months in advance, but DN has NEVER been afraid to give props to other players when deserved).Finally, I think, if you put it in its proper place and don't take it too seriously, Celebrity Poker Showdown is a pretty good show. Last week's show with the reality stars (Johnny Fairplay, Omarosa, Trishelle) was ATROCIOUS, the worst one of the series since Dave Foley took over as host. At least this one had its moments, especially Howie with his on-the-spot training. There have been shows that have been absolutely hilarious (Brad Garrett/Ray Romano/Curt Schilling/Sara Rue show comes to mind, as does Wanda Sykes/Jerome Bettis episode). I think the way this show is produced is SOOOOOO much better than those STUPID Hollywood Home Games shot at an empty soundstage from the WPT (I know DN commentated on one, and that was the best one). The crowd at the Palms adds an positive element to the episodes. Again, if you turn it on knowing that you won't be seeing top notch poker and that these people are playing for charity, then I think you will enjoy it a little more.Just my two cents.JRB

Link to post
Share on other sites
Heh turd furgeson i love celebrity jeopardy
I'll take the rapists for $500 Alex.
Alex : Burt reynolds. Burt : Yaa thats not my nameAlex.. ugh.. Turd FurgesonBurt : Yaa what do ya want?Alex : You buzzed in.Burt. No i didnt. Alex.. Yes!.... U didBurt. Myeaa well thats your opinion
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?Alex Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery.Sean Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.Alex Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing!Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait.. are you selling Penis Mightiers?Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not.Sean Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. Connery, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good day

Link to post
Share on other sites
Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. Connery, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good day
that one is gold!!
Link to post
Share on other sites
Alex Trebek: I feel like I want to punch you. Mr. Connery, where are you right now? You wrote: Good, Lord, you wrote "indoors" that's phenomenal. Are we recording this? Ok, let's look at your wager. "I heart boobs." That's beautiful. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. Good day
Thank you for making spew coke through my nose onto my keyboard you ass!!!! j/k. i forgot half of the hilarious things about that skit though. haven't laughed that hard in a while.
Link to post
Share on other sites

hahahah my intramural softball teams name is The Pen is Mightywhen i signed us up the old lady said "they might make you change that name" and i said "why, whatever do you mean" and she took a double take and said "ohhhh my, the PEN" and got flustered

Link to post
Share on other sites
hahahah my intramural softball teams name is The Pen is Mightywhen i signed us up the old lady said "they might make you change that name" and i said "why, whatever do you mean" and she took a double take and said "ohhhh my, the PEN" and got flustered
if you like that sort of entertainment and humor.check this outhttp://www.big-boys.com/articles/mikehawk.html
Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone ever seen Finding Forrester there is a scene where sean connery is watching jeopardy as a shout out to will ferrellAlex Trebek: Fair enough. Mr. Connery?Sean Connery: We meet again.Alex Trebek: Let's see your answer.. [ screen reads "Buck" ] Oh, I'm sorry.. that must be you wager. A Buck. And you answer is.. [ screen reads "Futter" ] Futter. Buck Futter, I don't get it.Sean Connery: Ohhhh.. I think you do, Trebek. I tThink you do, indeed!Alex Trebek: Well, thanks for joining us..Sean Connery: [ yelling ] Buck Futter!!Sean Connery: I bet you've seen your fair share of other men's jockeys crumpled up on your bedroom floor, haven't you Tinkerbell? (Chuckles) Alex Trebek: Sean Connery, just pick a category. Sean Connery: I'll take “whore semen” for 800. (leaves his podium and heads for the board) (Cut to Trebek, who is very confused) Alex Trebek: Wait, What? Wait…Where are you going? What are you… (Connery points to board, the category “Famous HORSEMEN” points to the “hor” first, and then “semen” Sean Connery: See? “Hor” like your mother. And “Semen”! It's right there! (Connery laughs hysterically)(Trebek is angered) Alex Trebek: Yes, I see it. (Connery keeps laughing, Trebek is becoming more frustrated) You're very proud of yourself, aren't you? Sean Connery: Yes! (keeps laughing) Alex Trebek: [ interrupting ] Right, Mr. Connery. why don't you pick? Sean Connery: It looks like this is my lucky day! I'll take "The Rapists" for $200.Alex Trebek: That's "Therapists." That's "Therapists," not "The Rapists." Let's skip "Therapists" and try "Household Objects", for $400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." [ Sean Connery buzzes in ] Sean Connery.Sean Connery: A leather glove!Alex Trebek: It's a freaking hammer!Jeff Goldblum: Well, of course it is!Sean Connery: Now, listen to me! You back off, Trebek! You wouldn't have known that if you didn't have that card in front of you! [ to Goldblum ] This guy reads from a card!Alex Trebek: Whatever. Let's move on Sean Connery: Well, that's the sound your mother made last night! [ laughs ]Alex Trebek: Okay, that's not necessary. [ Reynolds buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds.Burt Reynolds: Who is, ah, Scooby Doo? [ buzzer sounds ]Alex Trebek: No.Burt Reynolds: That was a funny dog, Scooby Doo. He drove around in a van and, ah, solved mysteries.Alex Trebek: That is incorrect.Burt Reynolds: No, that's correct. I remember he had a pal, Scrappy Doo.Sean Connery: Not so fast Trebek. Alex Trebek: I really thought that was going to work. Sean Connery: Well, you were wrong, you mountebank. I pose a conundrum to ya, I riddle if you will Alex Trebek: I don't want to hear it. Sean Connery: What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore. [ Laughs ] Sean Connery: Well, the game is afoot. I'll take anal bum cover for 7,000. Alex Trebek: That's An album cover, not anal bum cover. Sean Connery: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my greatest regret. Alex Trebek: Unbelievable. And finally, Sean Connery asked himself: [ Show half a picture of a horse having sex w/ Trebek ] Ok, I, I think I know where this is going. Let me just see here, [ Looks over podium ] Yeah, yeah, that's a horse having sex with me. Ok. That's beautiful. Sean Connery: Come on, you pansy, let the people see my work.Sean Connery: That's a nice jacket you're wearing, Trebek. Alex Trebek: Why, thank you. Sean Connery: Is that wool? Must have been expensive. Alex Trebek: No, actually, it was quite reasonable. Sean Connery: Really? Where did you get it? Alex Trebek: At a place called Stern's, down on 14th. Sean Connery: Stern's? I'll have to check it out. Alex Trebek: Well, you should. Ask for Gary. Tell him that I sent you. Sean Connery: I'll do that. That sure is a nice jacket. Just one more question... Alex Trebek: What is it, Sean? Sean Connery: Do they make them for men? Alex Trebek: And... shut it! Mr. Connery, still your board. Sean Connery: I'll take "I Have a Hard-on" for $600. [close-up to board, the category "I Have a Chardonnay" is edited to read "I Have a Hardon".] Alex Trebek: I don't believe this. Where did you get that magic marker? We frisked you in on the way in here. Sean Connery: I didn't have it in my pocket. Alex Trebek: That's disgusting. Please. Sean Connery: I bet if you frisked me, you would have found it. Alex Trebek: All right, that's enough. Sean Connery: Because I was keeping it in my butt. Alex Trebek: Okay. We get it. Loud and clear: we get it. It's time for Final Jeopardy... Alex Trebek: All right, Words That Rhyme With Dog, for $400. And the answer is: It's been a "Hard Day's Night" I should be sleeping like a "This." [ Reynolds buzzes in. ] Burt Reynolds.Burt Reynolds: Chinese whore.Alex Trebek: No. [ Travolta buzzes in. ] John Travolta.John Travolta: Chinese whore doesn't rhyme with dog.Alex Trebek: That's why it was a wrong answerAlex Trebek: [ sighs again ] I'm sorry, Mr. Lewis. Time's up. "What is Sailor?" was the correct response. Tough start for everyone. All three celebrities are $800 down.Sean Connery: [ angry ] The hell if I'm gonna pay you a bloody $800!Alex Trebek: Please, be assured, Mr. Connery. This is for charity, it's not your own money. And it is still your board.Sean Connery: Alright, I'll take "Movies" for $200.Alex Trebek: "This racing movie with Dom DeLuise told us that yes cannonballs can run." [ no one buzzes in ] "Cannonballs can run." Burt, you might want to guess this. [ Reynolds buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds.Burt Reynolds: Oh, I don't know.. Shaekespeare!Alex Trebek: [ flabbergasted ] No. [ Connery buzzes in ] Sean Connery.Sean Connery: I'll not pay this fine, you curd, it's unjust!Sean Connery: I had relations this morning Trebek Hope we didn't wake you. Your mother's a screamer. Alex Trebek: For your information my mother's in a nursing home in Alberta, Canada. Sean Connery: Oh she was nursing it alrightAlex Trebek: That's not the right answer. [ Reynolds buzzes in ] Burt Reynolds.Burt Reynolds: That's not my name.Alex Trebek: Okay. Turd Ferguson.Burt Reynolds: [ laughs ] Yeah, what do ya want?Alex Trebek: You buzzed in!Burt Reynolds: No I didn't.Alex Trebek: Yes you did!Burt Reynolds: Yeah, well, that's your opinion.

Link to post
Share on other sites
First off, I think Howie Mandel started the Full Contact Poker conversation by asking the dealer "Have you ever dealt Full Contact Poker?" Meat Loaf immediately ran with it, giving an example of what the opening tag line might be.Second, I agree with those who felt Phil Gordon should have mentioned that Full Contact Poker is the name of this wonderful site, giving DN a plug. Especially since, after yesterday, we know Daniel isn't afraid to talk about other poker players on his site. (I know the show is taped months in advance, but DN has NEVER been afraid to give props to other players when deserved).Finally, I think, if you put it in its proper place and don't take it too seriously, Celebrity Poker Showdown is a pretty good show. Last week's show with the reality stars (Johnny Fairplay, Omarosa, Trishelle) was ATROCIOUS, the worst one of the series since Dave Foley took over as host. At least this one had its moments, especially Howie with his on-the-spot training. There have been shows that have been absolutely hilarious (Brad Garrett/Ray Romano/Curt Schilling/Sara Rue show comes to mind, as does Wanda Sykes/Jerome Bettis episode). I think the way this show is produced is SOOOOOO much better than those STUPID Hollywood Home Games shot at an empty soundstage from the WPT (I know DN commentated on one, and that was the best one). The crowd at the Palms adds an positive element to the episodes. Again, if you turn it on knowing that you won't be seeing top notch poker and that these people are playing for charity, then I think you will enjoy it a little more.Just my two cents.JRB
Ok, you were clearly paying more attention than I was. I basically agree with what you just said. I still think this episode was one of the worse ones, although the previous one that you mentioned was truly the worst. This episode Howie did some funny things, I guess I was hoping for more from him as he is a really funny guy.One good part of the show is when Phil Gordon explains what they are doing wrong/right. When the show first started my short-handed play got a lot better thanks to some of his insights. Some of the WPT final table players (not the pros) could definitely benefit from some of his comments in my opinion. Also, if nothing else I got some lessons (from previous episodes) on how to play vs a total calling station in NLHE. Not a lesson I am likely to get from WPT/WSOP episodes.
Link to post
Share on other sites
I actually sort of like to veg out to it but my pal compares it to watching retards have sex
Exactly! You're horrified, but you cant turn away. It bares a strange resemblence to something near and dear to your heart, and yet it's all so very wrong.Love the show.
Link to post
Share on other sites

If they are going to show these celebrities on TV, can't they at least show a couple who have some idea what's going on....you could still make a decent table with celebrity tables. Throw James Woods, Tobey Maguire, Affleck, Gabe Kaplen, then a couple of lookers like Jennifer Tilly and Shannon Elizabeth or something...at least then I could possibly be moderately entertained with a dash of hope of seeing some decent poker.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...