hilarious espn article

[rsmbox 1]

i'd leave the part about cleaning child piss out of the ball pit a mcdonald's off the resume...don't think its relevant to working for espn...could be wrong though

[Chiggleslap 0]

I'm sure you do. When do you graduate High School again? I'll forward them your resume.

Why does my criticizing him for being bad at his job imply that I think I'm qualified to do it? I don't think Ebert thinks he'd be a better director than Spielberg...

[Chiggleslap 0]

i'd leave the part about cleaning child piss out of the ball pit a mcdonald's off the resume...don't think its relevant to working for espn...could be wrong though

Congratulations on jumping on the bandwagon.

[Chiggleslap 0]

Oh, by the way, the theoretical email I wrote there... not intended to be funny. That's just what I would say to that guy if he were here right now.Ron, I know that the real reason you're upset is because I didn't use any poop or incest jokes. Sorry to disappoint.

[Don Giovanni 0]

You guys should type in green. (envy, for the not too bright) I read that article about a week ago and had none of the thoughts you all had. Most of it seemed true. You guys ever think that you might be hyper critical because you are jealous of everything you see in print and on tv? You guys cap on everything.just my humble opinion.

that guy isnt qualified for his job. he said he doesnt play anything but NL holdem. hes an idiot. he got mad because he couldnt beat low limit players because he tried to bluff them. some poker reseacher. if your job is to write for a magazine or a popular online site you need to know what the hell you are talking about. he should be criticized just like anyone who couldnt do their job correctly should be.

[Lunger 0]

Who is that guy's intended audience? People who've never been to a casino before? There are low lifes there? Seriously? I never would have guessed. I'd never heard anyone make fun of people wearing sunglasses at a low-limit table before. What a novel observation! Aaaargh!

[KoRnholio 2]

"In one of the last hands I played, I got 5-6 suited in the hole. Small suited connectors is not a bad hand to play, just ask Doyle Brunson"You think he'd know enough to realize that Doyle was talking about the implied odds to get someone's whole stack in a No Limit game with those hands... This guy is just about as much of a poser/WSOP wannabe as the rest of his table, as his 6-high bluff points out nicely.

[jarvis5150 0]

he would have been better off getting Caro's book.

[jarvis5150 0]

Maybe he will and we'll get to chuckle at his book review.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

the article wasn't intended for poker pros like yourselves, it was intended for the average joe. Your right, I'm wrong. I'm right about the high school thing though, right? Yeah, I thought so. It shows. bye bye.

[Chiggleslap 0]

the article wasn't intended for poker pros like yourselves, it was intended for the average joe.  Your right, I'm wrong.  I'm right about the high school thing though, right?  Yeah, I thought so.  It shows.  bye bye.

I'll tell you you're wrong, and you'll continue to think you're right.It's like accusations of Lance Armstrong using EPO. He'll keep denying it, but even he knows it's not going to change the opinions of people who are out to get him.Yeah, you're wrong. I wish you had some other means of trying to belittle me. You're cliche.edit: Am I right about you being in college? Yeah, thought so...

[TheCinciKid 0]

My first post and I'm gonna disagree with everyone but Mexico.  90% of the things he said in that article are true.  Come play 3/6 limit in Louisiana and see how po'd you get at what people will call you with, the table etiquette and the dealers.  Obviously this guy said some dumb stuff (what the hell is a max raise in limit? and what's wrong with a fast game?  Otherwise, the tv effect, calling station etc. is true.That brings me to another point.  Someone asked why you would be mad that someone would call with an inferior hand.  The thing is, when 6 people call with inferior hands it is likely that one of them will hit to catch up.  Alright, so now that I've stopped lurking here I guess I get to get flamed here too.  Sweet, baby sweet!

Read SSHE, then come back and try to say the same things you did in this post. Low-limit Hold'em is about pushing edges. If you have AA and six people call with inferior hands, then yes, it is likely that one of them will draw a hand that beats your AA. However, all hands are not created equal. All you need, for it to be profitable (in the long run) for you to play that AA before the flop it to have a better than 1 in 7 chance of winning. If there are seven equal hands out there, each would have a roughly 14% chance of winning. AA is going to have a better than 14% chance and all of the others are probably gonna be lower than that.Get it now? Yeah, I know, the ESPN author doesn't either. He probably should have just said he was addicted to No-Limit Hold'em (like every other person who watches it on tv and read Super/System and thinks they're the next Doyle Brunson).

[keith crime 8]

Is it a brilliant article? NoIs it pretty similar to what most people say after they play 2 4 at a club for the first time? YesIs Chiggle's rebuttal more entertaining or enlightening than the original? Uhh no in fact I couldn't get through it. I'm guessing ESPN poker research guy gets paid -- uh nothing -- he's probably an intern straight out of college. Rag on Mexico all you want but penis and defication jokes are intrinsically entertaining - whereas the 100's of posters here who toss off - you donkey, you idiot, you played the flop wrong forget about the river, here's a cute image i stole from another website to make you feel like an idiot - old and boringWhen Bill Hicks got censored by the David Letterman show out of fear that a few morons would write about how offended they were he said "sane people don't write letters because they know its just television and get on with their lives." Spend some time and write an entertaining article yourself or get out of your parents apartment and do your best to one day kiss a girl. The first song John Lennon ever wrote probably was worse than the worst Styx effort. Luckily he didn't listen to the naysayers without the guts to try to do something creative themselves and make it his last.

[Don Giovanni 0]

Is it a brilliant article? NoIs it pretty similar to what most people say after they play 2 4 at a club for the first time? YesIs Chiggle's rebuttal more entertaining or enlightening than the original? Uhh no in fact I couldn't get through it.  I'm guessing ESPN poker research guy gets paid -- uh nothing -- he's probably an intern straight out of college.  Rag on Mexico all you want but penis and defication jokes are intrinsically entertaining - whereas the 100's of posters here who toss off - you donkey, you idiot, you played the flop wrong forget about the river, here's a cute image i stole from another website to make you feel like an idiot - old and boringWhen Bill Hicks got censored by the David Letterman show out of fear that a few morons would write about how offended they were he said "sane people don't write letters because they know its just television and get on with their lives."  Spend some time and write an entertaining article yourself or get out of your parents apartment and do your best to one day kiss a girl.  The first song John Lennon ever wrote probably was worse than the worst Styx effort. Luckily he didn't listen to the naysayers without the guts to try to do something creative themselves and make it his last.

i have to use this a lot on this forum but: "what in god's holy name are you blathering about?"

[Sushiman 0]

Twoplustwo linked this article a while ago. It was indeed hilarious and aggrevating at the same time. But honestly, who gives a crap? This is the same speech your hear everytime from so called "no limit experts" when they step into limit poker thinking it will be a walk in the park and get their ass handed to them.

[Kaedin 0]

Is it a brilliant article? NoIs it pretty similar to what most people say after they play 2 4 at a club for the first time? YesIs Chiggle's rebuttal more entertaining or enlightening than the original? Uhh no in fact I couldn't get through it.  I'm guessing ESPN poker research guy gets paid -- uh nothing -- he's probably an intern straight out of college.  Rag on Mexico all you want but penis and defication jokes are intrinsically entertaining - whereas the 100's of posters here who toss off - you donkey, you idiot, you played the flop wrong forget about the river, here's a cute image i stole from another website to make you feel like an idiot - old and boringWhen Bill Hicks got censored by the David Letterman show out of fear that a few morons would write about how offended they were he said "sane people don't write letters because they know its just television and get on with their lives."  Spend some time and write an entertaining article yourself or get out of your parents apartment and do your best to one day kiss a girl.  The first song John Lennon ever wrote probably was worse than the worst Styx effort. Luckily he didn't listen to the naysayers without the guts to try to do something creative themselves and make it his last.

i have to use this a lot on this forum but: "what in god's holy name are you blathering about?"

It seemed pretty obvious to me what he was "blathering on about". I think it goes something like this: Being well written (relatively speaking), with thought and effort (even if the thought and effort and results arent liked or agreed upon by all who roam this earth) is a damn sight better than some keyboard commando that thinks he's god's gift to poker, poker literature, poker players, (poker*.*) and makes it known by his each and every post critiquing, criticizing or otherwise proving his superiority with some inane, assinine catch phrase, such as 'what in god's holy name are you blathering about?" when anyone that received a passing grade in 4th grade english was able to figure out what the post was about.Was the article 100% correct? No. Are you ever 100% correct? No. Was it funny? I laughed at times. Could you have done better? Judging from your job as a columnist, I would guess no. Bitching about the writing of an article that you read -for free- is like bitching about the play in a freeroll or about how bad the sex was with a dead hooker. You didnt pay for it, there's probably a reason it's free. Accept it, move on, STFU. No one forced the article down your throat. The fact that he has a job writing this ariticle doesnt steal food from your mouth, or harm you in anyway.

[mobius481 0]

cincikid,His article is aimed at everyday players who get a shot to play once a week or so. multitabling ten tables at 2/4 sure you have an edge but playing at this table once a week it takes the skill out and turns it all to luck. It is frustrating to play at that game. Anyone who has done it before knows that. That's all I was pointing out.

[Don Giovanni 0]

or about how bad the sex was with a dead hooker.

so let me get this straight. me complaining about that guys lack of poker knowledge is like me complaining about bad sex with a dead hooker. ok just making sure you actually said that...and could i have written a better article? uh yes. easily.and another thing, the fact that him writing that article doesnt take food from my mouth doesnt matter, you moron. someone posted a crazy article and i commented on it. you shut the fuck up, this is a forum. you make zero sense and your logic is just retarded.

[TheCinciKid 0]

cincikid,His article is aimed at everyday players who get a shot to play once a week or so.  multitabling ten tables at 2/4 sure you have an edge but playing at this table once a week it takes the skill out and turns it all to luck.  It is frustrating to play at that game.  Anyone  who has done it before knows that.  That's all I was pointing out.

I have to respectfully disagree with you here. If you play once a week or so, you probably won't win every week. You could have long stretches without any winnings, but it's definitely not all luck. If you play well you will see long-term profits. However, playing well can be rather boring in a low-limit game and get rather frustrating as well. If you're just out to have a good time and don't care if you lose some money I guess you can just gamble and call it luck. I'm too competitive for that. I'm not having fun if I'm not giving myself the best chance to win money. If I thought the game wasn't beatable I wouldn't play, but any poker game is beatable, you just ahve to know what you're doing.I was very frustrated the first time I played limit Hold'em. I considered myself good at no-limit, but couldn't figure out how to beat limit. I decided that since every poker game has to be beatable I would learn to beat low-limit so I wouldn't be frustrated by it. Instead of looking ignorant, this ESPN guy should go out and learn how to play limit. It makes ESPN look bad, to have someone who knows so little about anything but no-limit hold'em writing for them.

[Sluggo 0]

How can any of you criticize the writer for using terminology such as "max raising?" Sure, the limit games online are mostly fixed, but head into a B&M and you'll find many spread limit games. In these games, you can bet within a certain range, depending on the street. His article really wasn't that bad.

[Kaedin 0]

or about how bad the sex was with a dead hooker.

so let me get this straight. me complaining about that guys lack of poker knowledge is like me complaining about bad sex with a dead hooker. ok just making sure you actually said that...and could i have written a better article? uh yes. easily.and another thing, the fact that him writing that article doesnt take food from my mouth doesnt matter, you moron. someone posted a crazy article and i commented on it. you shut the fuck up, this is a forum. you make zero sense and your logic is just retarded.

I make zero sense? What are you blathering about? I think if you actually took time off of your busy 'haha dude, i know more than him about poker' tour, and read my post, you'd know what I was saying. Instead, you just hope that if you say 'YOU MAKE NO SENSE, YOUR LOGIC HAS NO PLACE HERE' over and over, people might drop dead from sheer boredom. Seriously, a guy that wrote a free article wasnt the smartest guy on earth, OH NOS.

[mobius481 0]

cinci,It's possible that the games are different in our areas. At the casinos in LA I can make money pretty regularly at NL and 10-20 but 3-6 seems to be a crapshoot and annoying for the reasons he posts. Not a big deal. Agree to disagree, maybe a first on this board though, lol.

[finztotheleft 0]

The author of the article does poker research for ESPN and is a self proclaimed "no limit tournament specialist" and he was just going to "check out'" Caro's Book of Tells ??? It's not exactly a new release.....

[kennyboy 0]

I'm just confused about how he believes NL is such a purer, more professionally played game than limit in casinos.