zimmer4141 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 After taking a bad beat, say: Hey, are you lost? Because .05/.10 is down the hall fourth door on the left. Link to post Share on other sites
Marchione 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 when asked by a reporter at a poker torny why i play, my reply ~"I cant sing or act and im not too good at sports, so this is the nearest dream i have of getting groupie sex !!" Link to post Share on other sites
zimmer4141 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Dang buddy, are you Scott Stevens? You're hitting everything tonight Link to post Share on other sites
cokeandtaco 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 It's unlucky to be superstitious- Robert Williamson Link to post Share on other sites
chindi 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Best Internet Poker related quote:Don't tap the fish tank.(cause there are folks that just can't *not* point out that their opponents are donkeys).Movie Poker Quote:''I've got two small pair.... eights and eights.' (though the poker in that movie sucked)Favorite Exchange From a Live Game:(as a brASSh player mucks his hand face up, he says to his fairly old opponent):'I'm gonna lay down this small pair, but I know you're bluffing. That bluff doesn't make you a better player than me.'(old guy rakes his chips, stacks 'em up'No. The fact that you're to much of a puss.y to call with the best hand makes me a better player than you.'The resulting period of tilt was very profitable for everyone else at the table. Link to post Share on other sites
zimmer4141 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Sorry I didn't see the flush.How could you not see the flush?Sorry, I couldn't see over my pile of chips. Link to post Share on other sites
semaj550 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 My favorite from a live game I played.First, the requisite history. Playing 4/8 at Bellagio I flopped top set but on the turn I knew my opponent made the nut flush. I knew this because as soon as the third spade hit on the turn he started saying things like, "You're dead, son. I got you." I was getting odds to call his raise on the turn so I did and the board paired dueces on the river giving me jacks full. We raised until I was all in and he turns his cards over with a huge grin on his face. I flip over two jacks and the dealer pushes the >$200 pot my way. Nut Flush freaks out and yells at the dealer telling him that he gave the wrong person the pot. The dealer calmly replies, "Sir, a full house beats a flush." To which the guy reponds:"F***, I didn't even see the board f****** pair!" Link to post Share on other sites
diabloblanco 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Quote by the late great Stu Ungar..."You show me a good loser, and ill show you a loser."Classic. Link to post Share on other sites
flintsword 4 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 If the Titanic had rivets as tight as this table, ... the iceburg would have sunk.The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!I agree totally with your right to play your hand that way. [twist around to the waitress] I'll take a double honey, the world is coming to an end.How to call a player an idiot without actually coming out and telling him or her. You have a genetic predisposition towards suboptimal performance....and if they ask you what that means, you answer:It's not your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
edingerlaw 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 "Sometimes nothing is a pretty good hand."Paraphrase: You have to pay to play. Lessons are extra!"You're pretty good kid. But as long as I am around, you'll only be second best!" Link to post Share on other sites
angler 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 "you see those two ladies I got showing there, do they look scared."- Kramer"He didn't win the lottery, he had the nut ticket". Link to post Share on other sites
vyrusguy 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on Link to post Share on other sites
smitty 0 Posted June 11, 2005 Share Posted June 11, 2005 "i always have one hand on my crotch and one hand on my cards, that way im always holding the nuts"sorry if it was already said Link to post Share on other sites
avsfan 0 Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 "Everything is permitted because nothing is true. It is all make-believe.. illusion . . dream . . art."- William S. Burroughspoem type thingy;http://www.artdamage.com/wsb/apocalypse.htm Link to post Share on other sites
Landon_McFly 0 Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 After two of my friends split a pot the older guy looks at the college guy and says "You know, they say splittin the pot is like kissin your sister." The college guy decides to be a smartass and replies with "You're tellin me you kiss your sister?"The old timer takes the cake when he says "NO, it's like kissing YOUR sister... I'm an only child." :clap: Link to post Share on other sites
Griff 0 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 A pair of aces with a low kicker is like a chic without nipples. Link to post Share on other sites
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