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From Cardplayer......Overall, Darden is feeling great about his game and says he is primed to take down one of the big tournaments. “The tweak is over,” he said. “I weathered the storm, and now I am the storm.Sick line.

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"Nothing is true, everything is permitted."- Hassan i Sabah"Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. And his hope for other people is that they will also make it exist by observing it. I call it 'creative observation'. Creative viewing."- William S. Burroughs"People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did I hate him. We had mutual respect for each other, even as we both planned each other's murder."-Herzog on Kinski "We are often told that we are incoherent, but into this word people try to put an insult that it is rather hard for me to fathom. Everything is incoherent...There is no logic...The acts of life have no beginning and no end. Everything happens in a completely idiotic way. That is why everything is alike."- Tristan TzaraConsequences dictateOur course of actionAnd it doesn’t matter what’s right.It’s only wrong if you get caught.-tool"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. "- William Shakespeare

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Teddy KGB Quotes"He beat me...straight up...pay him...pay that man his money""Just like a young man coming in for a quickie...I feel so unsatisfied""It hurts doesnt it...Your hopes dashed...your dreams down the toilet, and your fate sitting right beside you""Your money? I am still up twenty grand last time I stick it in you"kgbpic.jpg

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Teddy KGB Quotes"He beat me...straight up...pay him...pay that man his money""Just like a young man coming in for a quickie...I feel so unsatisfied""It hurts doesnt it...Your hopes dashed...your dreams down the toilet, and your fate sitting right beside you""Your money? I am still up twenty grand last time I stick it in you"kgbpic.jpg
caught a hanger sarge
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"I will take down your stack faster than Bobby Fisher takes down opponents in Chess"Phil Papmuth"You've been PAP'dPhil Papmuth"I crush you like stale government rationed bread"Profe$$ional {must be the Russinan Phil Papmuth}"I have moves Muhammad Ali only dreamed about"Phil Papmuth"Hey Fischman I thought I saw you on TV last night, come to find out it was the ladies event of the WSOP"sdouble"I'm pushin you around like a midget at the airport"The_Gee_Man"I am gonna hang you out to dry just like I did with your girl friends panties"Papmuth"Congrats you just paid for my happy meal"KiD[ReD]"It's butcher time"Swingy"You must crap four leaf clovers."LV_GaryD"Maybe you should go to the play tables with yourtissues."'stevesavi"You play looser than a stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving"Papmuth "You keep calling hands like that, you will end up at the stay and pray table playing with my sister." eric 1"What cha gonna do when philpapmuth runs wild on you?" Papmuth"You got a halo over our head or something, explain to me why you would play that?" Rex Dog"I will roll your stack over like asphalt"Papmuth"32 in the waist, cute in the face and hit hard" Table Saw "You keep calling that crap, you'll end up back at the play tables."Papmuth"You learn that move by watching Celebrity Poker?"Papmuth"Your the dumbest chaser since Wile E. Coyote."Goodfella57"Keep hating, I will watch the money pile up"Swingy"Price of gas is going down, just like your stack."TonyTBoss

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"I will break you like a beer bottle on the side of a curb."Swingy"I will crush you like a piece of cereal."PapmuthI will crumble you like a cracker, and put you in my soup.Swingy"If you draw out on me one more time I 'm going to show you how we used to play poker in prison, ...and it ain't with cards beautiful." 50outz"I was running so badly, I swear, if it was raining pussy ...I would get hit by a dick."50outz"If you want to push buttons at random, go play in an elevator" Goodfella57"Even a goof ball can catch cards." Sam Grizzle"I am going to put my evil inside of you." Trutrip151"I'm working on my player notes. Does anyone know another word for "retarded?"Goodfella57"If that kicker was holding up your bike as a kid you would have had alot of skinned knees."Billbinlv"You are easier to read than a Dr. Seuss book."50outz" a straight flush is like a sore d1ck, you just can't beat it"Table Saw"With hands like that, I gather you lose on this site"JerryGarcia"Are you a biologist?" "No, why?" "For awhile, it looked like a chimp took hold of your mouse."Goodfella57"You must be fred sanford's forgotten son playing junk like that."dano42"Poker is like sex for you, you don't know the first thing about it, and you do it alone in front of a computer"50outZ

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On a final board of AA9xx at my homegame, my opponent pushes all in. I call with 99. He says "damn, I only have a 9". I say, "what kicker?". He replies, "Queen, you?"I say, "damn, my kicker is smaller.... only a 9"Maybe it was more funny because we were drunk.

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Player who you just bluffed out of a pot: "What did you have?"You: "A pair. A pair of really big balls."-----Player who just folded a hand to you: "What did you have?"You: "Two cards."-----"When I bet I've either got the nuts or the balls."--Unknown

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"Poker is gross...if you have a flush, someone has a full house. If you have a full house, someone has quads. If you have quads, the lights in the casino will go out and someone will steal you chip stack. " Phil Laak

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not poker related ..."i've come to wish you an unhappy birthday, cause your evil and you lie,and if you should die i may feel slightly sad..but i wont cry.... the smith ..unhappy birthday....poker related.... "must be the shirt"..phil ivey after taking a bad beat by freddy deeb in the wsop.....

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Put down your best poker quote.My favourite quote to date:  quoted from member -  MapleLeafsWhen I go to a fast food restaurant, and my order comes to $6.28, I like to give the cashier $18.71. They look at me and say 'What's this?' and I say 'I'm all in'They usually fold.I love this one!..
This is my favorite. I tried it at McDonalds but the pimply faced cashier didn't get it.Orville
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I like my signature, and of course slim has a bunch of classics to go with that Calling pocket Queens 4 titties is pretty funny,

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