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Essay's Top Ten


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I think he really really relates to Home Alone just for the title.

So, instead of doing actual work i need to do I decided to go through and tabulate all the punishments handed down by Essay. Not counted: prelim warnings (1 each) for BigD and Rod. Also, Essay was "

I'm assuming my jokes are valued at .77 of a man's.

Oh no!

 

I apologize in advance, Suited, but we neeeeeeeed his thoughts.

 

 

BigD has my hands tied.

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Whoa, wait. Your 3-hour ban is still in effect. I'm not even sure what to do right now, but I'm definitely scared.

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Brvy, please please please rank Suited's Christmas Dildos. We need to know.

 

That's kinda yesterdays news. I'd rather have his birthday buttplugs ranked, tbh. But Brvy doesn't work blue, so instead maybe brvy's top 10 favorite things about spring.

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Or maybe his favorite 17th century hymns? Or buttplugs. Either way I'll be happy.

 

I'm only interested if they are Calvinist.

 

 

 

The buttplugs, I mean.

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I can't be a party to all of this disgusting sexual nonsense, but I would be more than happy to throw together a spring calvanist hymn list. I just need to find my notes, and quickly get Suited's continued blessing.

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I mean, if we're getting technical, Catch Me If You Can is on both lists.

Sigh. Apparently my reading retention is not great.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Essay's Top Ten Garth Brooks Songs

 

1. Rodeo [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tppP__t-zA]

 

2. The Thunder Rolls [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzE9vgmb0fY]

 

3. Friends in Low Places [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0_der_5hRM]

 

4. Ain't Going Down (Til the Sun Comes Up) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvj0lIFsHz8]

 

5. Much to Young (to feel this damn old) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dulz6QEeqg]

 

6. American Honky-Tonk Bar Association [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ5OZVremGY]

 

7. Callin' Baton Rouge [can't find on youtube]

 

8. That Summer [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOjNanRoYeY]

 

9. What She's Doing Now [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPfpNWncM4s]

 

10. Standing Outside the Fire [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMmbNAtS2-Y]

 

 

BONUS SONG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9G8gqOEu6M

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If my life depended on it, I wouldn't be able to name one Garth Brooks song. Like, maybe I'd get credit for a honky-tonk reference with a gun to my head, but even then, I don't think that's the song I'm thinking of. Gross.

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loving garth brooks transcends time and place, thera. people from new york to mobile to san francisco love and cherish garth and his catalogue. give his ten best, noted above, a solid listen and you will not regret it.

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No "Two Piña Coladas"?

 

 

solid work by garth, but not essay's top ten material. and i'm not sure that youtube video is the garth version. it's really hard to find his work on youtube.

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If my life depended on it, I wouldn't be able to name one Garth Brooks song. Like, maybe I'd get credit for a honky-tonk reference with a gun to my head, but even then, I don't think that's the song I'm thinking of. Gross.

 

If my life depended on it, I think I would be able to come up with Friends in Low Places, but that would be it for sure.

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