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The Happy Birthday Thread


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I stand with Bynes, btw. Part of it is that I masturbated to her before I really understood porn existed, but more than that, I feel like if I'm going to modernize the premise of being a Winner, I'm g

My friend Frankie is a life long Angeleno, and used to be a delightful, fun filled drunk.hes also a very good blues guitarist, and has played all over town.   Anyway, one day Frankie is on one side

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Charlie Watts and Dana Carvey

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Kenny G

 

My friend Frankie is a life long Angeleno, and used to be a delightful, fun filled drunk.hes also a very good blues guitarist, and has played all over town.

 

Anyway, one day Frankie is on one side of town, and need to get across town by a certain time. No problem. He's from LA, he knows to leave, and drives down Hollywood Boulevard in plenty of time.'

 

He gets stuck in horrible, mind bending traffic.

The kind of traffic that makes no sense for the time of day. The longer you sit in this kind of traffic, the more you want to see a body bag at the other side. You literally want to be rewarded with a grisly story to pay you for your time and frustrations.

 

Frankie is rolling (creeping) in his jeep, the roof and doors taken off. As he inches his way up Hollywood Blvd, he can see that someone is getting their star, and that's what causing the traffic jam. He gets closer and it's , "Son of a bitch! It's Kenny G!"

 

Sure enough, it's Kenny Gorelick (didn't have to google or Wikipedia that, respect please!) prancing around. Frankie is watching this human turd, this traffic jam, this symbol of crappy easy jazz, and he's a few drinks in.

 

He shouts out the jeep, "hey! Kenny!!" And Kenny G looks to see...

 

"Hey Kenny! You suck!"

 

Frankie saw Kenny G's boner fade away, and traffic eventually let him drive on.

 

To this day, whenever I'm stuck in mindbending, inexplicable traffic, I think of it as "Kenny G Traffic."

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Awe, Thanks for remembering!

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My friend Frankie is a life long Angeleno, and used to be a delightful, fun filled drunk.hes also a very good blues guitarist, and has played all over town.

 

Anyway, one day Frankie is on one side of town, and need to get across town by a certain time. No problem. He's from LA, he knows to leave, and drives down Hollywood Boulevard in plenty of time.'

 

He gets stuck in horrible, mind bending traffic.

The kind of traffic that makes no sense for the time of day. The longer you sit in this kind of traffic, the more you want to see a body bag at the other side. You literally want to be rewarded with a grisly story to pay you for your time and frustrations.

 

Frankie is rolling (creeping) in his jeep, the roof and doors taken off. As he inches his way up Hollywood Blvd, he can see that someone is getting their star, and that's what causing the traffic jam. He gets closer and it's , "Son of a bitch! It's Kenny G!"

 

Sure enough, it's Kenny Gorelick (didn't have to google or Wikipedia that, respect please!) prancing around. Frankie is watching this human turd, this traffic jam, this symbol of crappy easy jazz, and he's a few drinks in.

 

He shouts out the jeep, "hey! Kenny!!" And Kenny G looks to see...

 

"Hey Kenny! You suck!"

 

Frankie saw Kenny G's boner fade away, and traffic eventually let him drive on.

 

To this day, whenever I'm stuck in mindbending, inexplicable traffic, I think of it as "Kenny G Traffic."

 

Someday, remind me to tell you the story of when I hung a loogie off David Crosby.

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