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Pokey In The Pokey

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Warning: the following may be deemed offensive. If Bob or other powers that be view this as inappropriate, let me know. Johnny Hughes has his poker stories and I have mine. I hope u guys find this entertaining. I just want Ron Mexico to comment. That's all I've ever wanted l . . .


Location: unit j3, Mci concord, 2011

Game: 11 max nlo/nlhe (dealers' choice) cash errrr canteen

Stakes:$2.00 for 50 chips (a "bank")

Players: Mostly laggy blacks, a couple passive Spanish guys, another white guy who doesn't play all that much, and me half Chinese half Irish (yes I've been blessed)


While inside, you take sides according to race, unless you are affiliated, and I'm white but I maintain friendly relations w everybody unless something got to be done. The table is very friendly and everybody knows one another. These observations are crucial to understanding table dynamics/hand ranges/placement of weapons, etc.


Everybody dealing Omaha as usual except new white guy who doesn't seem to understand the rules of Omaha that well and seems reluctant to ask. Preflop raises are frequent and most everybody calls but 3 bets are rare.


Spanish guy deals Omaha and I'm dealt AA/xx ds somewhere in late/middle position. Lag raises in ep, most call, and I 3 bet big to buy button,thin field, more money in pot, bla bla bla. Everybody folds but initial raiser and his buddy who both have big stacks and good canteen in their locker (honey buns, chips, soda, meat sticks, cheeses, and chili). Second caller mutters something under his breath about me buying pot like last time (???). They are homeboys so while I like my hand,position, I don't have a great read on their hands pre. Neither are suspected cheaters so I'm not worried about that.


Flop: Ac 9d 8d (I got clubs but no diamonds) ch, ch, I bet 1.5x pot to try to take down pot and rep exactly what I have, hoping to fold out everything but wrap/fd combo but I'm SHOCKED when they both almost insta call.


Turn: Ad Tying to contain excitement, thinking about chili meal I'm about to have cellie cook up w my winnings. At the sight of second ace on board the pre raiser laughs and snorts,"damn Toby, u trying to do us like that?" as he thinks I never had two aces pre and tried to buy pot w big 3-bet. He casually checks and next guy pots. I call and shrug, "whatever bro, maybe I got nut flush now."


Pot now has like 50 bux in it and guys are hanging over tiers checking out the action. Even one of the screws comes over to take a look.


River: random broadway card. At this point I know guy has flush and I don't even think he's considering me filled up, let alone quads. He bets small( for value I think) and I think for about 2 seconds and shove my last five or six banks on top and stare right at him, "whattya wanna do, jimmy?" I'm trying to make it look like I'm frustrated even though I know he has to call. Sure enough, he calls and I quietly turn over my hand. Two dozen "oh shit" s ring out simultaneously and I put two fake guns in the air and yell out "Heath street!!!" which is where my opponents are from. Most everybody laughs, my guys clap, but surprisingly, one of the gentlemen from Heath street isn't happy, dare I say hurt, by my antics.


He yells out "************" at me, the cards, the cop, etc. I get paid w/o incident as money is on table but there is grumbling from the blacks. When we hear about it, we approach an older black guy who didn't play but is respected. We confer w him and he assures us that while he was upset and guys heard about it in other blocks, he can guarantee nobody going to set it off over some trash talk in poker, even if it was a huge pot. But if the guy stil feels a certain way, he might want a fair one. I speak up and say, "c'mon I don't want a problem w him, we're cool, but if he wants a fair one, then fine." Everybody agrees, shakes hands, and it gets dropped.


Not all the hands worked out so well for me. If people want to hear more crazy/interesting/funny/revealing stories then let me know itt. Until then, lets go Ravens straight up! Get it done! One time!


Ps I am looking to be staked for this years wsop main. I will take up to 15k. Serious inquiries only (always wanted to say that)


Thank you Annie dookhan (google it)






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Location: FCI Talladega, Satellite Camp (Federal) 2011

Game: 13 max nlhe cash

Stakes: .05/.10 $5 Max Buy-in ("Macks" for chips. .05,.10, and $1 Denom.)


Congrats on catching "Poker" (Never knew why they called it that. Never heard of "Quads" called "Poker" before). For someone who has not been "in", when you tell them those kind of stories, they are like "WTF". Actually, what you described is pretty standard. I'm actually surprised you did not have 3-4 more people call the 3-bet and go to the flop. The 2 big guys must have been the cigarrette/contraband guys. They play every hand and will hang in too long, but also seem to be the luckiest and catch every fu%$*ng 2 outer on the river. Also, guys will team up and softplay each other, and bulldoze others. No full-on colluding. To me, it seemed more like "BINGO", but at one time I had discussed it here with a few people, and came up with a decent strategy that might work. Hopefully won't need to try it in that enviornment again. ;)


Definetly plays like a home game where comments are made and most of the time are laughed off, but from time to time you will have that one guy that will take it the wrong way. When this happens and you are "in", it definetly adds an extra dynamic to the game, especially in a state joint.

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