JubilantLankyLad 1,957 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I remember when we actually did have "secret" forums.Deeply sorry that isn't the case any more. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,352 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Deeply sorry that isn't the case any more.For some reason, your apology seems shallow to me. Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 39 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 With one that big, you'd think there'd be a lot more in itArms stretched over a strong envious crowd. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry" uttered on a seemingly endless loop which makes Canadian Bacon seem like the truth. Coffee in the hand but lime on the mind. Harry Lime.Pack on the ground, the last cigarette in the mouth. Grumbles over the expected. Shhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. Harry Lime? He's past that.Barely described as awake, a house cat is on his second life. Harry Lime? Not yet.Arnold is late. His car shows up at the crime scene. Proctor steps on his cigarette. He mutters as the car pulls up.Proctor: Where’s my coffee?Arnold: Oh. Uhh.Proctor: making me wait...And no coffee! Shhee Arnold: well you have my deepest apologies sirProctor: Fuck. DAT.Arnold: What did you just say?Proctor: you heard me.an attempt at a fight occurs between the two men. Instead officers hold them back and the two men are effectively reduced to a rather aggressive paddy cake session. It comes to an abrupt end as they can't a-fforde to delay any longer. Arnold hands Proctor the coffee which was sitting on the passenger seat. The two men make their way to the body. As they arrive looking at the body, a man wearing a Gecko outfit passes themGecko: hiArnold: w-what the hellProctor: That’s ChrisArnold: oh my god. He’s lost a ton of weight. Arnold's surprise is further revealed by his bunny ears (which are sticking out of holes in his detective hat) going erect.Proctor: Tae-boArnold: Wow that Billy Blanks really knows what he’s doing huh?Proctor: oh. No. sorry. Bow-tie. Death by strangulation.Roses are red. Violets are blue. This is the last we'll see of you. The scene wraps up for these two. Proctor receives a text. It's their favourite snitch CI. They take their own cars.The back of a crusty man's head is shown. A tearful woman in front of him. They awkwardly sit.Clown Captain: BECAUSE YOU'RE MY WIFE DAMMIT!Wife: MM or MN?Giant Chicken Man?: Actually, I'm a fat man in a chicken suit, but that's not important right now. Officer down.Arnold is no wife to a clown. He's no wife at all. His butt is on the sidewalk. He sits as well. It's been raining on his face. Proctor is dead. Procedure was to take one car. Why? Because it sets up the next joke. It was a gamble. It's no Secret that the Tide is Nice 'n Easy. It's quite the Bounty when there's a Fusion of Gain and Braun. I'm really Head & Shoulders above the rest. TAG. I'm it. I'm not going to Pampers to the world but let me say this. Did you know I'm riding this horse backwards? Olay. Sorry (no pun). Let's get back to the story. I had a to Pringle it there for a bit.The snitch was nowhere to be found. Gold they called him. Low level man for Lime. Quite the Quaffle they were in now. Another bludger for the police force. That's not a cliche. Arnold was off the case. Cliche. He'd be back on it later. Double cliche. With a new partner he didn't trust. TREBLE CLICHE. On the one hand, I've got too many cliches. On the other hand, maybe it's not like two negatives not making a positive. But, on the other hand. Oh wait. I've got three hands there.Despite improper counting, you've got to hand it to me. I've gotten us to the next point.Brian Doyle Murray (I couldn't get Bill for this post on short notice) is awakened by a bright shining white glowing sunny in philadelphia light which unbeknownst to BDM is covering the clown captain’s face. He hears a voice telling him that he’s going back into the field after years of being a “house cat”He used to be good Po-lice before...the incident. He had been lost. Now I don't know if it was all the Jacobian derivations of his previous life (or maybe that was just partial) but I do know that if it was determinant that the integral part wasn't just about throwing together somewhat related phrases to appear smart.Just like a bad story (see this one), Arnold was back on the case. BDM was his partner. BDM didn't care at this point. Barely awake from his stupor. Arnold too fresh from his partner's earlier demise was livid. Their only lead was the meeting with Goldy which apparently ended badly. But how did Proctor get there so fast? And, why was Harry Lime's business card (Do No Gooder) in his pocket?The Gold rush came to an abrupt end. He was found dead on 2nd. Right near a Lime club. BDM was asleep at Proctor's desk. The 20 foot walk had been all he could muster apparently. Arnold didn't want help on this one anyway.No leads at the crime scene. Just how Arnold wanted it. Time to find Lime.Arnold: LimeBDM: LalalalalalaalalalalalalalalalalaArnold: Wake up. What’s the story on the file on Lime's club on 2nd?BDM: Lalalalala-confidentialArnold: oh jeez. Hey, Danny, you know something?Danny: Very...Hush HushHooker walking by: hey cutieDanny: Lime's too well connected for us to find anything helpful from a city fileBDM: Who’s He? You’re the third. Ahem. The third man to mention that name today.Danny: Well he’s a dope dealer with a club on 2nd. Connected to quite a few homicides is the rumor round here. He’s a tragic figure. Wanted by the law which isn’t strange for a criminal but in this case it’s for a crime he did not commit.BDM: Isn’t that giving away too much information?Danny: It’s called fore-shadowing.Arnold: Sounds more like you’re fore-king the story.Arnold backs away slowly from his horrible joke. Hoping no one noticed. He moseys to his car.BDM fell asleep with his face on Proctor's desk. As he awakes, a paper sticks to his face. He hits it off but it falls into a halfway opened drawer. Sillyly fearing retribute, he reaches into the desk to put things back to how they were. This, of course, leads to BDM seeing something which changes the story. He is awokened. Awakeneded. Killed some guy. These young Hot Shots! might'f had something on old BDM but he still had Lloyd Bridges in the tank. Mandelbaum!At this point in the story we need a woman. Just for sex. Well. maybe some cleaning. And a sandwich.Please.Woman: What do you want?BDM: We've been through that alreadyWoman: You haven't changedBDM: I'm tryingWoman: I don't careBDM: give me a chanceWoman: You don't even know where you're goingBDM: maybe. but I'm going. And, I'm halfway thereclap. clap. the screen goes black (and white). BDM grabs her forcefully by the shoulders. or. really the. umm. upper upper arms. CLOSE UP. and kisses her. forcefully. Not wanting to be a poor salesma...woman, she doesn't mention Paris.SEX SCENEGRATUITOUS NUDITYBDM was going to stay with a friend that night but he died. Goodness was that awkward. In both transition and reference and something else. Instead, he was following a man. A man to a lime. Not that he knew. But he suspected. He didn't suspect how tart it was going to be.BDM off his game a bit allows Arnold to get quite a ways ahead of him. But, if this post THE MOVIE was correct, then he knew exactly where to go (PIZZA THE HUT!)Arnold shows up. His ears twitching ever so slightly that only a narrator could notice. The writer had no control over that and expressed his displeasure but Lime stepped out of the shadows of the super curvy (scurvy?) building before them and before protest could be made. Not wanting someone to go back and re-read that previous sentence, the two men quickly came together.It was not an ecstatic embrace. There was a gun. There was a struggle. Lime rolled away. BDM only heard the shot but he knew.The Mercury could only help tell Temperature. It couldn't help with all the hiding spots in Hollywood. Especially after dark. BDM had hit a dead end. He knew that Proctor and Ga..Arnold had struck gold on Lime. The lead was solid and also conveniently vague for this story. As lead detective (wait. what?) it was his job to be present at the identification at the autopsy (wait. what?) of his partner (even if it was only for 30 minutes (quick in the sack, eh?)) who had died 10 minutes ago (these guys work fast). It was hard to believe that this whole story had started 1 hour ago (no more waiting. what?) and it would be over in about fifteen minutes.The coroner had something to show him. He warned the wife "it's quite...disturbing". They came off. An officer threw up. The wife fainted. BDM went back to work. All ears to the truth, BDM had been blind to a trick.As BDM dug, he realized the folly. Lime was a criminal but no mastermind. Murderer? doubtful. He knew just where to go. see cuz. umm. just go with it.The bell rang. The door opened. Lime reacted. His truth would probably never come out. BDM was done. Two heroes? How about none.Remember what we were talking about earlier?SureWell at least he's got a good chance at getting ahead.lolaka don't worry about it, b-diddy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,352 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Lavrov and the Stock Wizard levitate over tothe blackened dogmatic catwalk and you eat them. Now swapbuy for eat, then fuck for buy, then ruminate for fuck,phlegmophrenic, want to go to the windfarm,Your * kids menu lips swinging in the Cathex-Wizz monoplex;Your * face lifting triple its age in Wuhan die-cut peel lids;ng pick Your out the reregulated loner PAT to to screw whitechocolate to the bone. The tension in an unsprungr trap cock QUANT unpruned wing: sdeigne of JOCK The tension in an unsprung trap. of how I together grateful anyway I was Its sacked glass, Punto What isbe done on the sly is manic gargling, toto blacken the air in hot manic recitative from a storm throat,WLa-15 types to Tungsten electrodes Aaron Zhong,feazing that throat into fire / under itshot life the rope light thrashes in its suds, [is] Your chichi news noose/ Dr. Unicef Cheng budget slasher movie hype on Late ReviewI keep dreaming about you every single night lastnight I you making love Stan, I didn't know him thenit hurts, and I disappear but the nights stick.Abner Jon Louima Burge Cheng. [right arrow] Ab ... etc.I am adaptable for Binzel and Lincoln and Panasonicmy swan neck my shielded arc, my gap of hot fireLavrov sidesteps in the long arabesque of equivalence. What isbeing this lids clampdown, being this cheek slantonto something, being this duck breast implantbut what is there to eat in a specific fang, defecation being otherwise a welding helmet, being a gas lens, being this hot skit spilt on glasseat all of me like a dispassionately incinerated fish cheek,I want being phonic into your intestine, to cryinto my own blistered eyes on the inside of your stomach,not dead as the sea but cracking; disjunctive partlives will then cancel the asymmetry of self-inclusion,each of them will have the whole of love in it.You witness protection flourish as autonomy, CPA OrderNumber 22, Camp Bermel, hot white Vietnamization et. al.Things change. Outside, people are different.Lavrov becomes fraudulent. He and JohnsonLee no fuck you. Then everyone necks the gouache todream her own acid scavengers, dream his own blood geyser knotted to cream tied out horizontally as a tripwire between foot-spas. WANT HOT ANDY CHENG? Want the enormous tragedy of the dream? Last night I of you very hard and real I have put my fingers on you and your fa ce if you were here Russ ChengI mocking the crap Peisistratidai at reflector Ningbo,into dead right crunch up your debit virtu Baode,we present a fist with the power of law. Poetic soundbites down hard into the fire blanket.The enormous blackened air strives on toward productionof the zirconiated stable arc, the price war in the mouthof: * a stupid inflatable thing "like to a bear." (pw symbolised by 3 gummy ribs: check http://lion.chadwyck.com/) * Andrew Cheng (pw is the passion of the non-identical in metre)Do not leave me for Stan whom you make love with.Each time they manage to levitate back what happens is youlose a life Hyundai and make the art screen go black.Beyond all this the city glows in natural repose,listening to Winds of Change or Kindertotenlieder. In an empty window love dead to the frame recapitulates its stare, you push it wrong flat lips to the dewy basin of tin and hang there, come wrong. You soften inside when it is all ok, mimicry of the subaltern love droid voice initiates longing beyond its own fallacy this time. The forward ruse, the bright air reflected in water, the calling features all defy lazy song in astriction and flick away the cumulus. Hallucinate the glass to push your best face through, making up with anything basin of tin and hang there, not gone. You harden inside as really virtuosic as wrong, avenging it the small hurts like cutting water, like blind eye curfews.The tack hammer is infinitely merciful. Spread out in thecarpark on the seabed your part lives throw frisbeesabout and unblock their genital oblativity; butthe repulsed foetus still in character fastidiously vomits. Link to post Share on other sites
GOCUBSGO 77 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 oh god, how did I miss out on this epic thread. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ Vu 176 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 This was amazing. Link to post Share on other sites
Mercury69 3 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Run and BigD C&P major word play trump you and meIt's like they tore up some screenplays by David Simon and Shane Black and pieced them together with some semblance of coherency... Link to post Share on other sites
donk4life 34 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I think Mercury should start his own bad bead thread again. Those will spark the forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Mercury69 3 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I think Mercury should start his own bad bead thread again. Those will spark the forum.The only bad beads are anal ones that get stuck. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,352 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I don't think Run C&P'd. I certainly did. Hot white andy is god. Link to post Share on other sites
TwstdWrstr 10 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Somehow DN didn't list "post more in my own forum" in his top 10 2012 goals!Good thing Rose left so she wouldn't have to stomach such awful news. Link to post Share on other sites
lurbz 2 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 whats going on in here Link to post Share on other sites
lurbz 2 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 oh and **** you tanner Link to post Share on other sites
bat 0 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Never fear guys! I just joined FCP. Mods can I change my avatar name to 'The Second Coming'? (sarcasm of course---look forward to joining the resurge tho!) Link to post Share on other sites
serge 904 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Never fear guys! I just joined FCP. Mods can I change my avatar name to 'The Second Coming'? (sarcasm of course---look forward to joining the resurge tho!)Welcome..Where you from?Do you like hockey? Link to post Share on other sites
bat 0 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Welcome..Where you from?Do you like hockey?Thanks. North Carolina....yes, but I'm no expert. Just a token "Canes fan. ha. Link to post Share on other sites
cemo76 0 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I think Daniel should Post more and have more Incentives. remember when he used to have the " Weekend in Vegas with Daniel " Give aways. Or the Protege Event.He needs to create a competition like that to get all the old members to jump back on board.Come on Daniel, have something special for the Loyal FCPers man.Another protege Comp! Link to post Share on other sites
BillyPilgrim 1 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Thanks! North Carolina....yes, but I'm no expert. Just a token "Canes fan! ha!lets not get to crazy with the exclamation points new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
bat 0 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 lets not get to crazy with the exclamation points new guy.edited for your viewing pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,352 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 edited for your viewing pleasure.Listen, the first thing you need to learn is never back down to anyone! Particularly that lunatic Billy Pilgram, kid's a Shia Lebouf fan, for christs sake!!! If you want to litter your posts with exclamations, do it!!! Throw in a couple smileys too, of the spirit moves you!! Link to post Share on other sites
bat 0 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Listen, the first thing you need to learn is never back down to anyone! Particularly that lunatic Billy Pilgram, kid's a Shia Lebouf fan, for christs sake!!! If you want to litter your posts with exclamations, do it!!! Throw in a couple smileys too, of the spirit moves you!! Hey thanks for that...your right!! I'm not taking no lip from some Shai Leboooof fan!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
DJ Vu 176 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Hey thanks for that...your right!! I'm not taking no lip from some Shai Leboooof fan!!!!The second thing you need to learn is never do what BigDMcGee tells you to do. Link to post Share on other sites
bat 0 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 The second thing you need to learn is never do what BigDMcGee tells you to do.Jeez. Now I'm thoroughly confused. I can see it's going to be tough being both compulsive and naive on this forum. I'll try and tough it out! Link to post Share on other sites
lurbz 2 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Jeez. Now I'm thoroughly confused. I can see it's going to be tough being both compulsive and naive on this forum. I'll try and tough it out!Just follow my lead. Everyone will like you. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
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