My Life

[serge 904]

Shit Dale that's alot of BS you are going through I hope all ends up well.One word of advice being the paranoid freak I am, I think this thread should get erased because I am sure your ex knows about this site and if she knows the handle Digital Monkey this thread is even easier to come across.Best of Luck with everything, you're a good guy and deserve better than the crap handed to you.

agreed...you could all strategy and do :...BTW Dale is a great guy and doesnt deserve any of this crap..The only crap Dale should get is from his Habs.

[digitalmonkey 929]

Shit Dale that's alot of BS you are going through I hope all ends up well.One word of advice being the paranoid freak I am, I think this thread should get erased because I am sure your ex knows about this site and if she knows the handle Digital Monkey this thread is even easier to come across.Best of Luck with everything, you're a good guy and deserve better than the crap handed to you.

Thanks!I thought about that, but I'm revealing nothing here that I won't also reveal in the court should it come to that.

[digitalmonkey 929]

agreed...you could all strategy and do :...BTW Dale is a great guy and doesnt deserve any of this crap..The only crap Dale should get is from his Habs.

I'm thinking the Habs are playing like crap because they are all unconsciously sending me Karma.Or there's a Fail for Nail campaign.

[digitalmonkey 929]

Does anyone know of a document that would prove legal guardianship?

[ajs510 122]

Does anyone know of a document that would prove legal guardianship?

Are you named on the kids' birth certificates? I wouldn't think you would need any more than that, but I'm no kind of authority on the matter.

[gruven 530]

Does anyone know of a document that would prove legal guardianship?

Guardianship and paternity are two different things: for paternity, there is a document called a 'certificate of live birth' which SHOULD have your name on it...

[digitalmonkey 929]

Basically, here's the situation:Back in October 2009, my ex was originally willing to settle on Joint Custody with her listed as the Primary Residence. I would not agree then AND I still won't agree. I will agree to Joint and Shared custody. We have always had joint custody, as Joint in this context refers to who makes the decisions regarding the children, and it has always been both of us making decisions for them (Shared refers to time spent with each parent). In her SWORN affidavit she claims she was the Primary caregiver when we were married. This is BS imo and I am trying to secure documentation to support my argument. Wordplay is an association that two of my children received help from regarding their speech issues. I attended between half and all of these and I remember going to the sessions and seeing the therapist note who was in attendance with the children. I would like a copy of this so I can use it to help show that I was involved in all aspects of their life and was, at the very least, an equal caregiver. Wordplay says the files are closed and the only way they can allow me access is if I am a Legal Guardian. Well, of course I am a legal guardian as I am the father and there are no court documents that have removed my guardianship.So it appears I have to prove that I am their legal guardian when the only thing that would prevent me from being a legal guardian would be court papers AND there are no such court papers. How do I use non-existant papers as proof?Here are the options I'm running around in my head:1. Requesting a letter from my ex's lawyer stating that both me and my ex are legal guardians to the children.- they may refuse this (which would look bad on them imo) or they may delay in providing me with any letter. My request might also give them a heads-up as to my intentions.2. Requesting a letter from the kids' school stating that they operate under the assumption of Joint Custody unless notified otherwise by court documents. Getting a letter of this sort would be easy as I have already spoken to the Vice Principal. I don't know if this letter would be sufficient for Wordplay though. 3. Call Wordplay back. I have already spoken to them and asked what they mean by proof of guardianship. Their answer was court papers, which brings me back to having to use non-existant court papers as proof. I have searched for a Court Form to fill out that would prove legal guardianship but I have yet to find one.4. I can't remember this option right now.

[serge 904]

man the law sucks sometime..Why cant common sense prevail

[ajs510 122]

Assuming that the lawyer's office will refuse or at very least drag their feet, I would go with the letter from the school + birth certificates + photo ID showing that you are in fact the person named on the birth certificates and go back to the company with that.

[digitalmonkey 929]

Assuming that the lawyer's office will refuse or at very least drag their feet, I would go with the letter from the school + birth certificates + photo ID showing that you are in fact the person named on the birth certificates and go back to the company with that.

This is my thinking also. Considering custody is the biggest issue right now (she has since changed her mind and is now asking for Sole Custody) I doubt they are going to be cooperative when they don't feel they must, especially when I am requesting they provide documentation showing Joint Custody.

[ajs510 122]

This is my thinking also. Considering custody is the biggest issue right now (she has since changed her mind and is now asking for Sole Custody) I doubt they are going to be cooperative when they don't feel they must, especially when I am requesting they provide documentation showing Joint Custody.

Yeah, my guess is that the only way you're going to get anything that helps your case from her or the lawyer will be by judge's order.

[digitalmonkey 929]

Dear Sir:Re: XXXXXXXX v. XXXXXXXXFurther to our attendance of the uncontested hearing, as you are aware an interim Order was made providing that My client has primary residence of the children and the status quo is to continue as to access. The schedule for access has been as follows:My client’s weekend, your weekend, my client’s weekend, your weekend, my client’s weekend, your weekend, your weekend, my client’s weekend, your weekend. This I understand is the rotation you have been following with the pick up being at the children’s school or daycare on Friday and returned by 6:15PM on Sunday. In addition, you have been receiving the Wednesday overnight whereby you pick up the children from school and drop them off at school the following morning or daycare. The schedule until January 9 would be as follows with a schedule for Christmas below: 
 
Oct.28-30th My client’s wknd
Oct.31- My client trick or treating until 6:45 then drop children off to DM’s for trick or treating and they sleepover at DM's. He drives them to daycare following morning (this is an exception and tradition for halloween)
Nov 2. Children at DM's after school/he drives them into daycare following morning by 8am
Nov.4-6 DM's weekend, My client pick children up at 6:15pm the 6th
Nov.9 Children at DM’s after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am
Nov11-13 My client’s wknd
Nov16 children at DM's after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am
Nov 18-21 DM's wknd *Monday is a P.A. day for school therefore kids will stay over the Sunday evening as an extra day. My client will pick children up at 6:15pm on Monday 21st.
Nov 23 children at DM's after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am
Nov 25-27 My client’s wknd
Nov.30 children at DM's after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am
Dec.2-4 DM's wknd. My client pick children up at 6:15pm Dec 4th
Dec 7 children at DM’s after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am
Dec.9-11 DM’ s wknd. My client pick up kids at 6:15pm Dec 11
Dec 14 children at DM’s after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am
Dec 16 My client’s wknd
Dec21 children at DM’s after school/he drives them to daycare following morning by 8am CHRISTMAS SCHEDULE:
Dec 23-24 children with My client until 8pm the 24th-My client to drop off kids at 8pm to DMDec.25 children with DM until 1pm he will drop them off to My client at 1pm Dec.25
Dec 25th 1pm until 6:15pm Dec 27, DM will pick them up Dec27th @ 6:15
Dec 27th @ 6:15 until Dec 31 @ 8pm children with DM, My client to pick up kids at 8pm Dec 31st
Dec31 @ 8pm until Jan 4th children with My client, DM to pick up children at 6:15pm on Jan 4th from My client’s home
Jan 4th @ 6:15pm until Jan 7th @ 6:15 pm children with DM; My client pick up kids @ 6:15pm and the regular schedule of access commences following the commencement of school starting.I would also like to point out the importance of ensuring that the children present themselves for daycare by 8:00AM so as to avoid my client’s losing her subsidy. On a separate note, I understand there has been communication via e-mail between the parties and would caution you to limit your communication with my client to include essentially information sharing regarding the children, appointments, school, health requests etc…. These can be done via e-mail but note that while my client is working she is not able to respond to your e-mail’s until she has completed work for the day and had an opportunity to review your e-mail therefore it would be preferable that you avoid e-mailing during this period. If the issue is urgent such as an immediate health concern, the need to attend the hospital, clinic or hospital admittance, your own personal crisis and you require a caregiver these situations are to be texted immediately or my client is to be contacted by phone.I am hopeful that this clarification will avoid any further issues. Yours very truly,XXXXXX LAW OFFICEXXXXX XXXXXXXX/xx

[Fenxis 99]

On a separate note, I understand there has been communication via e-mail between the parties and would caution you to limit your communication with my client to include essentially information sharing regarding the children, appointments, school, health requests etc…. These can be done via e-mail but note that while my client is working she is not able to respond to your e-mail’s until she has completed work for the day and had an opportunity to review your e-mail therefore it would be preferable that you avoid e-mailing during this period. If the issue is urgent such as an immediate health concern, the need to attend the hospital, clinic or hospital admittance, your own personal crisis and you require a caregiver these situations are to be texted immediately or my client is to be contacted by phone.

Odd that he wants communication in a format that she can't forward to him for review? Or maybe he's tired of reviewing everything that you send?Call him Mr Luddite in your reply.

[Babying 613]

Dale, that would drive me crazy.Seriously good luck.

[SBriand 4]

I feel bad for your kids having to be be shuffled back and forth Xmas week like that. I say that because I went through it as a child.

[digitalmonkey 929]

I'm almost finish the first draft of my response. Stay tuned. i like it.Also, my ex's lawyer is female. I mention this only for accuracy.

[Zach6668 513]

That schedule looks a lot like what my parents agreed upon when they divorced. Theirs was a lot more amiable, however, I never saw any behind the scenes stuff. I was in maybe grade 7, my sister 2 years younger. I feel like it worked out, although as usual, the father got to see the kids less often than the mother.

[MapleLeafpoker 1,462]

I feel bad for your kids. Thats all I can think of right now. Im genuinely sorry for you too, but your kids....it pains me.Sorry, not trying to make you feel worse, but thats all I got out of that today.

[Babying 613]

I feel bad for your kids. Thats all I can think of right now. Im genuinely sorry for you too, but your kids....it pains me.Sorry, not trying to make you feel worse, but thats all I got out of that today.

I feel the same way. The thing is (knock on wood), if that ever happen to me, I would want my kids with me all the time.

[digitalmonkey 929]

Here is the first draft of my letter. Feel free to comment or advise.XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXX.,XXXXXXX, XX X0X 0X0123-456-7890XXXXXXXXXXXX@gmail.comNovember 10, 2011XXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXX XX., XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX, XX X0X 0X0Dear Mrs. XXXXXX:Re: XXXXXXXX v. XXXXXXXXIn response to your letter addressed to me dated October 26, 2011:With respect to your mention of the uncontested hearing, the interim order and access; I am not interested in arguing with you at this point in time, but frankly, I think you mislead the Court as there never was a previous order regarding the primary residency of XXXXX, XXXXXX and XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX. The current Order of His Honourable Justice X. X. XXXXXXX dated October 13, 2011 states, “The children shall continue to have their primary residence with the Applicant.” I’m unclear how something that never was ordered in the first place can now be ordered to continue?” [emphasis added]In my opinion, this is not the first time you have intentionally mislead the courts as you had two motions of contempt brought against me for what you claimed was a failure on my part to abide by the Order of Her Honourable Justice X. X. XXXXXXXX, when, in fact, I had filed a Financial Statement on October 30, 2009. I see now that you have finally added this financial statement to your Continuing Record but have neglected to include the Date of Document and the Date of Filing. For your records, the date of both is October 30, 2009. As for the tax info requested of me in the aforementioned order, I was unable to provide this information as I required information from the Applicant in order to acquire the requested tax information. I requested this information from the Applicant on numerous occasions. Attached is a copy of electronic mail messages between me and the Applicant. I invite you to read the following messages:October 25, 2010 @9:51 AM email from Applicant to RespondentOctober 25, 2010 @1:40 PM email from Applicant to RespondentNovember 23, 2010 @ 1:00 PM email from Respondent to ApplicantNovember 24, 2010 @ 8:45 AM email from Applicant to RespondentNovember 24, 2010 @ 9:02 AM email from Respondent to ApplicantI have also included a letter from Mrs. XXXXXXX X. XXXXXXX from XXXXXX Bookkeeping Services in which she indicates that the Applicant did not provide her necessary tax information until “the end of December 2010.”With respect to access, you chose to reference only the September 2011 calendar in your claim that the children were with me only 33% of the time? Had you gone back even two months you would have seen the children were with me an average of 44% over August and September 2011. Had you gone back three months you would have seen they were with me an average of 43.3% over those three months. Go back 4 months and the average is 41.5%. This is yet another example of how you have intentionally mislead the courts. I find this deception to be a waste of the Court’s resources and I consider it anything but in the best interests of my children.Anyhow, I have been requesting equal time with my children for over two years now and your client has continuously restricted my children’s access to me and my access to them during that time. Therefore, I don’t really think a schedule dictated, for the most part, by the Applicant should matter much to begin with.In your letter you indicate the access schedule has been as paraphrased:“Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend.”Over a nine-week period this would see the children spending five weekends with me and four weekends with the Applicant.This is incorrect.Please see the following email message:January 7, 2011 @ 8:42 AM email from Applicant to RespondentIn that message you will see the Applicant suggests the following rotation:“Respondent’s weekend, Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend, Applicant’s weekend, Respondent’s weekend.”Over an eight-week period this would see the children spending five weekends with me and three weekends with the Applicant. If we extrapolate, for consistency purposes given that you have now proposed a nine-week schedule, this schedule would repeat and the ninth week would be the Respondent’s weekend, giving the Respondent six weekends with the children and the Applicant three weekends with the children over a nine-week period.I believe the deception and the attempts to limit the access between me and my children serve only the Applicant’s quest of gaining sole custody of the children. I ask that you provide me with an alternative reason in the hope that we can begin to discuss this case openly and honestly. As always, I wish to resolve all issues stemming from this separation amicably and would like to do so as soon as possible.With respect to your claim that the children must present themselves for daycare by 8:00 AM so as to avoid Ms. XXXXXXXX losing her subsidy: this is incorrect. Ms. XXXXXXXX has not filed a Financial Statement since September 2, 2009, however, to the best of my knowledge her income from XXXXXXX XXXXXXX is approximately $XX,000.00 annually. This would require her to pay a portion of the child care costs in the amount of approximately $150.00 monthly. This contribution amount stays the same no matter how many children need care or how much care is needed. The Subsidy will cover all costs over the contribution amount. Here is a great source of information regarding Child Care Subsidy:http://www.rev.gov.on.ca/en/guides/itrp/occs.htmlGiven the fact that the access between my children and me is already being restricted by the Applicant, I don’t feel the need to drop them off at daycare when it is not required. Extra time spent with each other and extra sleep for them is much more important to me than appeasing false claims of lost subsidy.Should you choose to read the information contained in the link provided above you will notice the following statement under the heading of “The Ontario Child Care Supplement for Working Families application” and under the subheading “About subsidies:”“If your child is in subsidized daycare and your child care costs change weekly or monthly, due to shift work or other factors, attach a note to your application explaining your situation. Your Ontario Child Care Supplement for Working Families will be calculated on a monthly basis with the information you provide.”As you can see, the Applicant is free to attach a note to her application explaining the situation. Rest assured, there will be no loss of Child Care Subsidy as long as the children attend daycare at least one day a month. I welcome any clarification from you should I be incorrect regarding this matter. With respect to the second to last paragraph in your letter, I would like to break down my response into three parts. Firstly, despite your client’s claims that we cannot communicate effectively, there has been considerable communication between the parties regarding the children. I have attached the last 31 emails between me and your client with the most recent one dated November 2, 2011 and the earliest dated October 19, 2011. I believe this is an adequate sample size but please let me know should you require more. It seems to me that my emails have been limited to “information sharing regarding the children, appointments, school, health requests, etc.” For clarification, I request that you indicate which of these emails you are cautioning me about.Secondly, I am of the opinion that your client has, to date, far exceeded her rights with respect to controlling the schedule, access, communication, etc. Ms. XXXXXXXX’s work schedule has no bearing on when I should or should not send an email. She is free to open her emails whenever she chooses just as I am free to send emails whenever I choose to do so. Ms. XXXXXXXX’s inability to respond to emails during her working hours is an issue between her and her employer and is of no concern to me. I believe this is an example of Ms. XXXXXXXX’s excessive need to control others.Thirdly, I have addressed the issue regarding immediate and urgent concerns with your client on previous occasions. These discussions can be seen in the following attached email messages:January 6, 2011 @ 6:16 PM email from Respondent to ApplicantJanuary 7, 2011 @ 8:48 AM email from Applicant to RespondentJanuary 7, 2011 @ 1:11 PM email from Respondent to ApplicantJanuary 7, 2011 @ 2:29 PM email from Applicant to RespondentOctober 21, 2011 @ 11:55 AM email from Respondent to ApplicantI propose we abide by the following guidelines.Communication between the Applicant and the Respondent shall be restricted to email messages with the following exceptions:Any urgent or immediate health concerns concerning the children. This includes, but not limited to, issues where a child is not in attendance of school due to an illness or the need for a child or parent to seek care from a clinic or hospital. Any issue requiring a response from the other parent within 24 hours. This includes, but not limited to, issues where pickup or drop off times need to be shared, changed, requested or arranged; the exchange of information regarding the children; or the exchange of information that can reasonably be assumed to affect the children. Any request for the other parent to provide immediate assistance regarding the children.Any behavioural incidents regarding the children.In these incidents, texting or phone calls are deemed acceptable and the information shared should be restricted based on pertinence.Any face-to-face communication occurring during drop off and pick up times should be minimal and restricted to information sharing regarding the children. I welcome any discussion on this matter, as well as any other issue addressed herein and hope that we can come to a quick and amicable agreement on all outstanding issues.Yours sincerely,XXXX XXXXXXXXEnclosures (3)dmcc: XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

[ajs510 122]

It sucks that you have to get good at this, but you're getting good at this. Very well done.

[digitalmonkey 929]

It sucks that you have to get good at this, but you're getting good at this. Very well done.

My feelings exactly!

[Dread Aidan 8]

I haven't been following any of this until right now, but I would take this line out:

I believe this is an example of Ms. XXXXXXXX’s excessive need to control others.

Unless her "excessive need to control others" is an actual issue at hand.

[mrdannyg 274]

I can't comment on how the communication is back and forth, but it seems to me you are giving the lawyer a lot of ammunition as to arguments you will present in the future. I realize there is a lot of need for the two parties to negotiate directly, but at some point you need to accept that they are negotiating unamicably (not a real word, probably), and stick to concise negotiation points. The part about the subsidy is excellent. Very succinct.Seems to me the whole first section could be made in a more direct way, and in only a couple sentences, complete with a threat. Something like "I acknowledge the judge's orders of blah blah, but I note use of the world "continued" which suggests he was consider improper evidence, provided by you. I will look to rectify this and promote a resolution that provides me shared access based on more accurate evidence that indicates primary residence with the Applicant would represent a revision of terms, rather than a continuation of existing ones."That is not very lawyerly, and just an example. You may not be at the point yet where you have to forget about arguing and just negotiate, but I hope you'll make sure you know when you do get there.Also, I hate to do it, but really think you need to take out "I believe this is an example of Ms. XXXXXXXX’s excessive need to control others."I don't see any good coming from putting that in a letter, other than the lawyer keeping it to make you look unamicable later.

[Fenxis 99]

It sucks that you have to get good at this, but you're getting good at this. Very well done.

Ya sounds like with this sleezeball lawyer you will need to contest everything otherwise he will enter it as fact in court. Or more advanced lawyering: just collect the stats as 'exhibits', don't respond and then blow them away with both barrels in court.