The Polling Place

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

You feed your cats food that costs $25/day, but you beat it with off brand hand lotion?

 

This orgasm was had in 2009 or 2010, back when I was a cheap, horrible ****. The Lord only knows how good the orgasm would have been with the high-end, boutique lotion I would use today.

[NickCave 194]

 

 

This orgasm was had in 2009 or 2010, back when I was a cheap, horrible ****. The Lord only knows how good the orgasm would have been with the high-end, boutique lotion I would use today.

 

Here's to sweet ass jack lotions. And being so straight and manly, you guys, you seriously have no idea how manly and straight we are.

[NickCave 194]

Speaking of beating it and being 100% not gay, I was watching Bravo, and then I fell asleep for a few minutes, and when I woke up Mario Lopez was hosting an infomercial. He looks really good, you guys. Pretty sure he's shifted the weights/cardio balance to like 25/75. Always thought he was Mexican, but for some reason I'm pretty sure he's secret Asian. Maybe he's from the Philippines? That's like the Mexico of Asia.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

I read "I have too much lice" and "what is the right amount of lice" in front of a girl I'm trying to stick it to at a bar and burst out laughing. She asked what was so funny. Pretty sure I shouldn't tell her?

 

Edit: told her I got a funny text from a friend. Then I read "homeostatic lice." Back top square one. No way this broad is coming home with me. Thanks, Obama

 

I used to always be on a desktop in another room while I was on here, but now I'm usually on a laptop in the livingroom or in bed with my partner. It creates such a weird problem, because there is literally no way to accurately explain why I'm laughing about some obscure troll/level/flame that's based on a combination of several decade-long relationships built entirely on an anonymous internet forum without it sounding at least as crazy as it is.

 

I was rereading that thread about the drift race the other day and responded to "what's so funny?" with "math puns on Reddit. Go back to sleep, kitten." No girl/twink is ever going to probe deeper about a math pun. Unless you're banging the chick from Wonder Years, in which case she's a loser geek anyway so who cares what she thinks.

[The Machine 210]

David Sklansky is voted off the forum by an official vote of 11-6. (Please don't leave.)

 

Ron Mexico is the FCP Survivor Champ.

 

[The Machine 210]

I'm going to leave the vote up there for now because that's an amazing collection of names that voted against Ron.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

**** right off. I don't accept this outcome. I clearly won. I motivated my voter and compensated for my own wild unpopularity with cunning, guile and intimidation, the same way all my heroes have taken power. But the fix was clearly in from the start. You complete losers couldn't handle the idea of someone better than you coming in here and making waves. Suck my dick you sexless, penniless, friendless drunks. Go post on Reddit about girls being bitches and teases for not being attracted to you. I certainly can't understand why they wouldn't be.

[The Machine 210]

 

 

Ron Mexico - 6 (InternetExplorer, TommyGavin81, Essay21, Misti Blue, BigDMcGee, David Sklansky)

 

David Sklansky - 11 (Napa Don, JubilantLankyLad, Tiltinagain, ShakeZuma, Theraflu, Ron Mexico, The Ocho, iBeaver, The Machine, brvheart, NickCave)

[iTommyGavin81 288]

I never voted in the finals. The entire poll should be invalidated

[The Machine 210]

You voted for Ron. I wrote it down.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

I miss you TG81.

[The Machine 210]

Did he ever tell us about his special birthday surprise? Was it even for his birthday or was it just a special surprise?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

First off, I would like to thank the machine, also known as God. Also like to thank Sklansky and his many followers.

 

Cant forget the people who voted for me. Dont remember their names right now, but it'll come to me

[The Ocho 970]

Well actually, people didn't vote for you, that's why you won.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

In theory

[The Machine 210]

I thought you meant you weren't going to forget them so you could crush them later.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

I just want to put one last thing out there: Ron, I have no hard feelings toward you. You voted for yourself, like a Winner does. I also believe given your athletic background that you and Cobalt are the only other true Winners left in OT, and game recognizes game.

 

 

For the rest of you bankrupt, overweight, virginal brother-types, there are plenty of hard feelings. Some of you snakes ended a friendship that goes back to the beginning of this forum. I never thought I'd see the day that I have to copy Wang and Brv's names into the same ledger as JJL and JJJ.

[Essay21 2,385]

We're good though right?

[hank213 1,823]

We're good though right?

 

sure. he'll only rape you a little bit.

[Essay21 2,385]

Long as he's gentle.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

For the rest of you bankrupt, overweight, virginal brother-types, there are plenty of hard feelings. Some of you snakes ended a friendship that goes back to the beginning of this forum. I never thought I'd see the day that I have to copy Wang and Brv's names into the same ledger as JJL and JJJ.

 

whew, dodged a bullet there!

[The Machine 210]

Whatever, JubilantJankyLad.

[TommyGavin82 1]

You voted for Ron. I wrote it down.

 

Nah Bro, it was me (Tommy's younger brother, Tommy) who voted for Ron.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

So much for saving the poll. You couldn't have just copied the names and put a line through the ones you didn't count or something when you put the final tally?

[CaneBrain 95]

A lil something from Sklansky.

 

@ratemyginger on twitter. A personal favorite.

 

A good line from Pitch Perfect. "I'm going to get a drink. This ginger needs her jiggle juice."

 

I like the Anna Kendrick reply: "make good decisions..."