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Beans-n-icewater Protege Contest


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JJJ, Inc., in conjunction with PACT, is proud to announce the first ever Beans-n-Icewater Protégé contest!Are you looking to take your FCP posting to the next level? Do you feel like your current e-persona has gone stale? Or maybe you'd just like to get into the mind of a forum legend?If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the promotion for you!And we're not limiting this promotion to only charter members, volume posters, or people who give us money. No, this is open to everyone!The Beans-n-Icewater Protégé contest is a weekly challenge that will span three weeks.Week One - Story Time.We've all delighted in reading the one-of-a-kind stories by beans. Stories like this one:

Earlier today, I was driving down to the local QuickStop for a few items when I noticed a large group of police cars blocking an older subdivision in the area. Of course, being nosy and all, I turned around and pulled up to the sawhorses blocking the road...(cop walks up)"Hey...whats goin on around here?""Please turn around....streets closed""I can see that....what are you guys doin?""Cant say...move along"(gives cop a disgruntled look)"Well, I hope you guys dont screw around and shoot another innocent gal like a few months back.... I still dont understand how you guys shot five times and hit the woman being attacked every time"(mean cop face)"LEAVE!"I went down to my buddies place for an hour or so gathering intel before changing vehicles and driving back to the scene. The same cop was standing guard...."Roads closed....turn around please""Shoot anyone yet?""I told you to leave....hey....you were here before, right?""Nope...first time""You look familiar""I get that all the time""Leave""Ok, Sherlock"The next time we surfaced at the scene, we were driving another vehicle. This time we parked a few driveways down and toted a cooler to the front porch directly across from the house that contained the hostage situation. The cops didnt screw with us anymore, but directed a few curious looks our way, especially when one of us had to pee behind a large bush. We continued drinking and watching until the suspect was in custody an hour or so ago. Thankfully no one ever came home where we were camped out.

Your first challenge will be your time to show off your chops and write a beansian story. You will be judged in three categories: content, humor, and intangibles. 0-10 points awarded in each category. The person with the most points overall wins the challenge. 1st place - 5 points2nd place - 4 points3rd place - 3 points4th place - 2 points5th place - 1 point(Only 1st - 5th place challenge points accumulate towards the overall contest winner. Individual category points are only to determine the weekly challenge winner.)Week Two - Starring Sal Paradise.Nobody can drop the strikingly handsome head of Sal Paradise into a photo like beans can.popgun.jpgsalorg.jpgWhere would you like to see Sal? Your week two challenge will be to photoshop Sal's head into a photo.Once again, you will be judged in three categories: photo subject, technical expertise, and yes, intangibles.Same scoring system as in the first challenge.Week Three - Toontown.Whether it's a caricature, a multi-panel comic strip, or a single picture cartoon, beans always wins. lolav.jpg--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------dndna1.jpgdndna2.jpgdndna31.jpgdndna5.jpg--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------armweek.jpgCan you live up to the master? You will pick your poison in the week three challenge and try your hand in one of these art forms.The three judging categories are: humor, artistry, and a new category - intangibles.After all three weekly challenges have been completed, the person with the most points wins!(In the event of a tie, there will be a special tie-breaker challenge that will be announced at that time.)Now, you might be thinking, "That's great and all, Joey, but what's in it for me?"I'm glad you asked. Beans has given us a trove of cartoons, photoshops, and pictures that have fascinated and entertained us for years. Unfortunately those images are scattered throughout the forum with no simple way to access them. Well, no longer will you need to spend hours searching the forum for these cartoons. Win the Beans-n-Icewater Protégé contest and receive your very own beans-n-icewater treasury: The Imperative Beans-n-Icewater, authored by me with a special foreword by Shimmering Wang.bookk.jpgIn this book you'll find a collection of beans cartoons, photoshops, and other images complete with notes providing background, reactions, and other insights into the motivation for these special beans posts. And at over 100 pages, it is sure to keep you entertained during those many slow times on the forum.jjjgift2.jpgBut don't take my word for it, listen to what some of these respected forum members have to say.

speedz99: That's incredible. Incredible. I have no idea what else to say.qyayqi: top-notch, sirJubilantLankyLad: really really excellent workvbnautilus: This book was really incredible. I am kind of stunned by both the beans-provided content and the organization of it all.

But wait, there's more!Your copy of The Imperative Beans-n-Icewater will include in it a brand new, specially drawn by beans, caricature of you! That's right, beans will take a photo provided by you and memorialize your victory in the first ever Beans-n-Icewater Protégé contest with a personal caricature.At this point you're probably thinking, "Wow, I can't believe I've read all this." Or maybe, "Wow, I sure did skip over a whole lot of words and stuff."To help ease your pain, PACT has thrown in an additional mystery prize for the winner. Although this prize must remain secret for now, believe me when I tell you that you are not going to want to miss out on this!So grab a Corona and keep an eye out for the Week One challenge thread. We're going be kicking off 2010 the best possible way: the beans way.

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I feel like my complete lack of artistic and photoshoppian skills will keep me from even having a chance at the title. This makes me sad. Can we have a bonus round? Maybe posting an original Corona picture?
I did this one for a Beans road trip thread a few years back. Do I win something ?p1030091mr6.jpg
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Can we have a bonus round? Maybe posting an original Corona picture?
I did this one for a Beans road trip thread a few years back. Do I win something ?p1030091mr6.jpg
You guys are ruining my tie-breaker challenge!
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I have no chance. There's no way I could ever produce the amount of sheer entertainment that is Beans. I can't wait to see the various entries, though.edit: My ass is pretty big in that picture.

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well if you plan on participating in week two you better find a picture where it's at least twice that size.
I don't even think I can come up with a story that will keep me in the running for week 2. I do have pics of my ass quite a bit larger. The one where you are in place of Brett's face was a little more than midway through my weight loss.
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I don't even think I can come up with a story that will keep me in the running for week 2. I do have pics of my ass quite a bit larger. The one where you are in place of Brett's face was a little more than midway through my weight loss.
God, that was a great night.That chick with Sal is smokin hot too!:club:
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Without even thinking about it, I read the entire OP as if it were an infomercial.
So did I!!! I even raised the voice in my head during parts like, "wait, there's more"This is awesome...I have no chance in hell but I'm still going to try!
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