nhlfan 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 OK, here we go.I got divorced earlier this year. We split up last year for 5 months, gave it one more shot, and called it quits. Have been divorced / on my own for 8 months now. I have been very happy living on my own, seeing my kids (twin 6 year olds) whenever I wanted, just focusing on them and making them happy. Right before the divorced we moved from Indiana to DC, so I have new work friends and stuff, but still miss the midwest and would love to go back.Anyway, I took a week off to go to Michigan (my mom has a lake cottage there) with my buddies from back home. Drink, fish, drink, whatever. Last Thursday we were sitting around the fire, and my buddy had dated this chick one time. They didn't really click (my buddy's quite effeminate, borderline gay), but he thought just as a joke I could text her.Anyway, what turned into a joke has no become something way more! I have always been that guy to make fun of or laugh at people who "fall in love" online or meet once or twice and get married. I was perfectly happy and told my buddies more than once that I could care less about meeting someone, I had my booty calls, and was more than pleased. How can I be this crazy about someone I've never met? We've exchanged pictures, and since my buddy knows her (she's freinds with a mutual friend of ours) I know she's at least halfway normal. We talk everyday for like 5 hours on the phone, text all day long. I mean, I'm freaking 34 years old, not 16!She lives in Ohio and I'm going to see her in 3 weeks. I just have never been in this kind of situation before. My freinds always tell me I'm the least sentimental person they know, but this girl has me nuts! I just really wanted to get this off of my chest and get some feedback. Tell me I'm an idiot or whatever, I just don't know what the hells going on! It's like if I took EVERYTHING I wanted in a woman (and trust me, there is a lot of freaky stuff you wouldn't find in most girls), she has it. I never even felt this way about my ex.Thanks for listening. I'm just really happy and needed to share it with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Jadaki 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 HehGL Link to post Share on other sites
TheWynn 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I don't know if I could talk to anyone on the phone for 5 hrs straight. Link to post Share on other sites
nhlfan 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 I don't know if I could talk to anyone on the phone for 5 hrs straight.Lol, I know, right. We talked last night for 3 freaking hours, and I HATE talking on the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
pezeveng 207 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 just go with the flow don't over analyze your emotions if it works great if not third times a charm. Link to post Share on other sites
hblask 1 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Don't get serious about anyone for a long time after a divorce. Divorce messes with your mind in lots of weird ways that you can't see while you are going through it. I read once that the first relationship after a divorce is always great but never lasts. You will probably always look back on it fondly, but there is very little chance this is "it".So enjoy the ride, it'll be one of your great relationship, but don't even think about making it permanent or making any life changes based on it for years. Some people say 3 years; I would say that's minimum. If it's still going strong in three or four years, congrats. Link to post Share on other sites
TheWynn 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Don't get serious about anyone for a long time after a divorce. Divorce messes with your mind in lots of weird ways that you can't see while you are going through it. I read once that the first relationship after a divorce is always great but never lasts. You will probably always look back on it fondly, but there is very little chance this is "it".So enjoy the ride, it'll be one of your great relationship, but don't even think about making it permanent or making any life changes based on it for years. Some people say 3 years; I would say that's minimum. If it's still going strong in three or four years, congrats. I think was this post meant to say was, have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
nhlfan 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 Thanks guys, yeah, not thinking about marriage or moving in with her or anything, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 DFTPWSHAP Link to post Share on other sites
troyomac 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 DFTPWSHAPAre you implying that he's actually found IQ's perfect mate? Link to post Share on other sites
gooch 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 pics or it didn't happenseriously, i'm in a somewhat simillar situation as you and have purposely avoided anyone i might actually take serious because i know i'm still ****ed upbest of luck though Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 My advice: be extra careful. At the beginning of any relationship both people tend to act based on their best vision of the other person, which is made easy by the fact that you know so little about each other. In a relationship like this one you know even less. You don't even have to look at her when you talk , you can just imagine what she looks like. It's much easier to live in a fantasy.That being said, I live in L.A. and about 5 years ago met this girl who lived in Boston. She was out here on a short trip visiting a friend of mine and we spent probably less than a day together. We started talking over e-mail, then phone, etc. etc., which seemed kind of pointless given how far away she was. But, it got more and more intense and a year later she moved to California. We've been married for a year and half. Link to post Share on other sites
nhlfan 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 My advice: be extra careful. At the beginning of any relationship both people tend to act based on their best vision of the other person, which is made easy by the fact that you know so little about each other. In a relationship like this one you know even less. You don't even have to look at her when you talk , you can just imagine what she looks like. It's much easier to live in a fantasy.That being said, I live in L.A. and about 5 years ago met this girl who lived in Boston. She was out here on a short trip visiting a friend of mine and we spent probably less than a day together. We started talking over e-mail, then phone, etc. etc., which seemed kind of pointless given how far away she was. But, it got more and more intense and a year later she moved to California. We've been married for a year and half.See, this is the kind of stuff I used to laugh at (no offense). I'm not ready to rush out and get married or anything, and I wouldn't swallow a bullet if I didn't talk to her again, but it's not like me at all to be this into a chick. I'll see her in three weeks, so I'll send out an update or something. Thanks for the support, in the old days I would have been flamed like, um, ahhh, something that was flamed, um, really bad....... Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 6 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 My advice: be extra careful. At the beginning of any relationship both people tend to act based on their best vision of the other person, which is made easy by the fact that you know so little about each other. In a relationship like this one you know even less. You don't even have to look at her when you talk , you can just imagine what she looks like. It's much easier to live in a fantasy.That being said, I live in L.A. and about 5 years ago met this girl who lived in Boston. She was out here on a short trip visiting a friend of mine and we spent probably less than a day together. We started talking over e-mail, then phone, etc. etc., which seemed kind of pointless given how far away she was. But, it got more and more intense and a year later she moved to California. We've been married for a year and half.Talk about rushing in! Next you'll be telling us she's PREGNANT or something CRAZY like that. Fool! Link to post Share on other sites
TheWynn 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 pics Link to post Share on other sites
Kuge 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Talk about rushing in! Next you'll be telling us she's PREGNANT or something CRAZY like that. Fool! Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I think this is all fun and games until you actually meet her in 3 weeks. It is going to be AWKWARD.I've done the "talking on the phone" "texting" "e-mails" "msn"-thing. And I clicked with many guys through that. But when I actually met them in person, it was always really awkard, because in your mind you make this image about how someone acts, moves, uses facial expressions, how someone's voice sounds, body language etc etc, but then you meet and it's like: "whow... this really IS a stranger". A picture really isn't much help. Also, the sex always disappoints, because you've had too much time to make it all perfect in your head, but in the end, it's still a stranger and first time sex with strangers is usually again.... AWKWARD.Last thing that I'll say that you won't like to hear is that you probably won't have anything to say to eichother. Because you've been talking about all the "import life questions" and all that stuff for hours and hours, agreeing and being amazed about what she says ("I was gonna say the exact same thing!!!"). But when you meet there's really not much left to talk about."("uhhmm... you look nice. Nice place this, you come here often?") Trust me, it can only disappoint. I'm a girl, I speak out of experience. And if you aren't disappointed, she probably will be Good luck though, let us know how it went. (by the way, if you're rich, I'm still single. I can do the long distance talking on the phone stuff being amazed about how much we think alike-thing too. Really.) Link to post Share on other sites
TheWynn 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I think this is all fun and games until you actually meet her in 3 weeks. It is going to be AWKWARD.I've done the "talking on the phone" "texting" "e-mails" "msn"-thing. And I clicked with many guys through that. But when I actually met them in person, it was always really awkard, because in your mind you make this image about how someone acts, moves, uses facial expressions, how someone's voice sounds, body language etc etc, but then you meet and it's like: "whow... this really IS a stranger". A picture really isn't much help. Also, the sex always disappoints, because you've had too much time to make it all perfect in your head, but in the end, it's still a stranger and first time sex with strangers is usually again.... AWKWARD.Last thing that I'll say that you won't like to hear is that you probably won't have anything to say to eichother. Because you've been talking about all the "import life questions" and all that stuff for hours and hours, agreeing and being amazed about what she says ("I was gonna say the exact same thing!!!"). But when you meet there's really not much left to talk about."("uhhmm... you look nice. Nice place this, you come here often?") Trust me, it can only disappoint. I'm a girl, I speak out of experience. And if you aren't disappointed, she probably will be Good luck though, let us know how it went. (by the way, if you're rich, I'm still single. I can do the long distance talking on the phone stuff being amazed about how much we think alike-thing too. Really.) If you want we don't have to talk first. We can just have the sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur 0 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 If you want we don't have to talk first. We can just have the sex.Neh, by the time you arrive here I've already had too much time to make it perfect in my mind.... Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 You're definitely crazy. Crazy ROMANTIC! Link to post Share on other sites
timwakefield 68 Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 She's going to weigh 50 pounds more than you expected, so just be aware of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Sick Boy 0 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I think this is all fun and games until you actually meet her in 3 weeks. It is going to be AWKWARD.I've done the "talking on the phone" "texting" "e-mails" "msn"-thing. And I clicked with many guys through that. But when I actually met them in person, it was always really awkard, because in your mind you make this image about how someone acts, moves, uses facial expressions, how someone's voice sounds, body language etc etc, but then you meet and it's like: "whow... this really IS a stranger". A picture really isn't much help. Also, the sex always disappoints, because you've had too much time to make it all perfect in your head, but in the end, it's still a stranger and first time sex with strangers is usually again.... AWKWARD.Last thing that I'll say that you won't like to hear is that you probably won't have anything to say to eichother. Because you've been talking about all the "import life questions" and all that stuff for hours and hours, agreeing and being amazed about what she says ("I was gonna say the exact same thing!!!"). But when you meet there's really not much left to talk about."("uhhmm... you look nice. Nice place this, you come here often?") Trust me, it can only disappoint. I'm a girl, I speak out of experience. And if you aren't disappointed, she probably will be Good luck though, let us know how it went. (by the way, if you're rich, I'm still single. I can do the long distance talking on the phone stuff being amazed about how much we think alike-thing too. Really.) I think that would actually make a pretty interesting conversation for the first meeting. Hey OP, just go meet her and dont set your expectations to high. Try to just have fun and not take the whole thing to seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Also, the sex always disappoints.Unfortunately for guys like me, and I'm a guy like me, this is true of any new relationship...so it's really not a negative for this type of situation.Last thing that I'll say that you won't like to hear is that you probably won't have anything to say to eichother. Because you've been talking about all the "import life questions" and all that stuff for hours and hours, agreeing and being amazed about what she says ("I was gonna say the exact same thing!!!"). But when you meet there's really not much left to talk about."("uhhmm... you look nice. Nice place this, you come here often?"This is an interesting point. Usually when you get to that point of a relationship you've spent enough time together to be comfortable with not doing a ton of talking all the time. by the way, if you're rich, I'm still single.And if you're rich, I'm single enough.She's going to weigh 50 pounds more than you expected, so just be aware of that.And 10 pounds more than that, cut it in half, double it, and that's what she'll really be. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I've never been disappointed with sex in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I've never been disappointed with sex in my life.What about her? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now