you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[Awol77 0]

Playing in pretty loose 1/2 NL on a riverboat in Iowa (1st mistake). I threw in my last $24 with Jd Jc in mid position.Guy calls from the big blind and turns over Jh 9c. Nobody else entered the pot.Me - "J9 off, nice call."Guy - "You implied my odds?"M - "I did what? You mean you had implied odds?"G - "Yeah. After you implied them I had to call."board came Js 9h 8h 4h 3h... Kinda saw that coming after that response.

[The President 0]

Once, when i was playing with mates from home, i wasnt even that short stacked, but went all in with KK preflop when there were four of us left. The guy to my left thinks for a long time, before finally folding his cards face up, showing 10-4o and says"im only folding this because there are still two people left to act" (who by the way, both called)i said to him: why would you call such a big raise with 10-4o anyway?reply: you dont know how good your cards are until you see the flopme: so you dont mind going into the flop as an overwhelmnig underdog?him: theres no way to tell if your an underdog until you see a flop.i said nothing, as i was too astounded as to what he just said.I then loose the pot when called with 9-4s and it hits the flush. i wasnt that annoyed that i was out, but just to have a little jab i saidnice call preflop with 9-4s.reply: if you have two suited cards, there is a good chance you will hit a flush.me: what if the flop comes with more cards that are of the other 3 suits?reply: thats less likelyi laugh and go and play gamecube. the 10-4o guy won the tourney

[Canary3 1]

playing in a home game and one of my friends calls an all in with jack six offsuit and after he loses says, "I was just trying to bluff there" P.S. My friend had no money in the pot when he called the bet.... but he was trying to bluff!

[XXEddie 0]

bump

[XXEddie 0]

bump

[stealfromblind 0]

after i push in on the flop he says in the chat "well, i have to call", if that 10 didn't hit on the river i probably would've jumped out my window and done a swan dive head first into the concrete. come to think of it maybe i still will. Seat 1: TKRMT ($17.50 in chips)Seat 2: moneytomb1 ($25.10 in chips)Seat 3: kenster07 ($49 in chips)Seat 5: bigralph11 ($56.85 in chips)Seat 6: Cobben ($38.10 in chips)Seat 7: --gamble-- ($49.25 in chips)Seat 8: rawdogg044x ($78.65 in chips)Seat 9: black ninja ($38.90 in chips)Seat 10: STYLES G ($48 in chips)ANTES/BLINDSbigralph11 posts blind ($0.25), Cobben posts blind ($0.50).PRE-FLOP--gamble-- calls $0.50, rawdogg044x bets $2.50, black ninja folds, STYLES G folds, TKRMT folds, moneytomb1 folds, kenster07 folds, bigralph11 folds, Cobben calls $2, --gamble-- bets $10, rawdogg044x calls $8, Cobben folds.FLOP [board cards 9D,7S,6D ]--gamble-- bets $38.75 and is all-in, rawdogg044x calls $38.75.TURN [board cards 9D,7S,6D,8C ]RIVER [board cards 9D,7S,6D,8C,10S ]SHOWDOWN--gamble-- shows [ AD,AH ]rawdogg044x shows [ 3C,5C ]rawdogg044x wins $50.15, --gamble-- wins $50.10.

[timwakefield 68]

Playing in pretty loose 1/2 NL on a riverboat in Iowa (1st mistake). I threw in my last $24 with Jd Jc in mid position.Guy calls from the big blind and turns over Jh 9c. Nobody else entered the pot.Me - "J9 off, nice call."Guy - "You implied my odds?"M - "I did what? "

hahahahahahaha

[ice4804 0]

ice4804: hey temelce do you ever fold?temelce: nopeice4804: probably a pretty good strategytemelce: for the first 30 min

[Phlatline 0]

so what do you reccomend

Sorry if this is a little off topic.There are two ways to go about getting your feet wet. This is assuming you will be playing limit holdem.1. Purchase the program Turbo Texas Holdem and the book "Small Stakes Holdem" by Ed Miller, Sklansky, Malmuth. Read and study the book, especially the preflop starting hand guide for tight games. Try to commit to memory all starting hands from all positions. Set the TTH program to as close as possible to the game you will eventually be playing for real money. Keep the book open as you practice to refresh your memory of starting hands and for referencing when you come to a difficult situation. After 5000 to 10000+ hands, go to the analysis screen in TTH and look for the chart that shows every starting hand possible and the amount of money won or lost with that particular hand. Hands you are misplaying should stand out as losers when they are strong enough to be winners. The best thing I like about this method is the low starting cost and the ability to stop the game and study up whenever you get lost in a hand.2. Again, purchase SSHE and study/keep open. Buy in for a few hundred dollars at the site of your choice and play around the .50/1 level. (Yes, it will be a little loose but much more realistic than the play money games. Its been my experience that whenever real money is involved, even the smallest amount, players tend to atleast try to play well.) Spend $50 and purchase Poker Tracker or similar hand tracking software. After several thousand hands, analyze the various stats, including how profitable every hand played is, and look for leaks in your game. These forums are great for helping to analyze these stats. You will be amazed at which hands you are profitable and unprofitable with. Real exp with a honest critical review of your stats will probably provide you with the quickest path to profitability.Phlat_________

[Mercury69 3]

This is an out of control monster thread. Nuclear lockdown could not stop this thread. Ph34r.

[21gambit 0]

SnG that just happenedpick up 95 in BB checkA92, I check MP bets minimum, I callturn 9, I check he bets minimum again, I raise he goes allin, I callhe has 33, river 3Later, heads up, against same guy.QJ on button, raise, he re-raises minimum, Icallflop QJ2, He moves in I call he has AK, turn, Tnext hand, he lips I check with 68 flop 976, he bets, i raise he calls. Turn, T he goes allin, I callhe has 97, river 9afterwards "wow, the way you play you must lose a lot"

You obviously got outplayed son...My favorite quote, after a guy in a 5-10 game cold calls a raise with A6o and rivers a 6 high straight and I ask him what hes doing in with that hand"I had an ace draw"an ace, draw........I didnt pay him off with my queens btw, some other donk did.

[21gambit 0]

If someone offered you even money that he would roll a six using a normal dice, then after a few rolls claimed that the odds of rolling a six are the same as rolling either a one, two, three, four, or five would you attempt to prove him wrong?

Old post, but I like his gooberosity...Careful, your roots are showing.EDIT:NM, I misread, thought he was talking about rolling 6 sided dice and what not, figured we had a DnD transplant.

[21gambit 0]

River rock right?! Buddy raises to $10 I make it $40 to go with KK. He calls with AQ offsuit. Funny story, he told me that he pu me on aces. I had double his stack. He nails AQ on the flop. I bet once he calls. I check the rest of the way, and have to fold to a bet on the river with another caller. Right on. I love it that you draw to three outs and bend me over the felt while your doing it.

Yeah, fish caught a 3 outer on the flop.....This one time, this fish was playing 2-5 NL at the local harrahs. Max buyin is 500, but he built his stack to 1.5K somehow, luckbox fish... Anyways, in this game was another player, old man rock tight overbet was his name, or omrtob as I like to call him(aka little dirty jesus)... So dirty jesus makes it 30 pre-flop in UTG+1, he got around 600 behind. Kid fish calls behind 1 other caller, flop comes 832 rainbow, approx 90 in the pot and dirty jesus bets $250... into a 90 dollar pot, kid fish tells dirty J that hell bet whatever hes got left, old man insta calls. Kid fish says, wow that was fast, you dont have pocket eights do you? No, but Ive got pocket aces... Kid fish flips up pocket 3s and takes down a nice pot....What a fish, he caught a 2 outer!!!Im not saying calling that big of a raise with AQ is smart, but youre complaining about a guy flopping an ace with aq like its a bad beat?!One more story,****ing fish complaining about bad beats, this one happened to me today...JJ short handed 5-10, I pop it UTG+1, 3 players call, one cold behind me and both of the blinds... Greeeaaatt, JJ 4 ways.. Flop comes AJ2 with 2 clubs... bingo bango bongo. Check to me I bet, call behind and from the bb, turn is the 2 of clubs, Im loving it, the flush got there but Ive filled up. They check to me and I bet, a nice check raise comes from the bb and I 3 bet, I figure hes got a deuce or the flush... Im already counting my money. Rivers a big fat deuce and he bets out into me, I think of raising, wondering if hes getting retarded with an ace but just call. He tables Q2o and takes down a nice pot...STFUthis stuff happens daily, if you ***** about a 3 when AQ FLOPS an ace, then I hope you dont take poker very seriously

[Jam-Fly 8]

''Its the cards you get and the face you put on''After my QQ getting cracked by his 52 on a board of xxx25, thats right he called me down with 5-high, then bottom pairAJs versus AK, all in pre flop''Its a coin flip''''Your such a good player, how did you make that call and then hit heart-heart to beat his trip 8s''''I gotta fold, i know you have it'' on board of 666A6 or even better missing out on a four split on a board of TAKQJ

[Beerfly 0]

Yeah, fish caught a 3 outer on the flop.....This one time, this fish was playing 2-5 NL at the local harrahs. Max buyin is 500, but he built his stack to 1.5K somehow, luckbox fish... Anyways, in this game was another player, old man rock tight overbet was his name, or omrtob as I like to call him(aka little dirty jesus)... So dirty jesus makes it 30 pre-flop in UTG+1, he got around 600 behind. Kid fish calls behind 1 other caller, flop comes 832 rainbow, approx 90 in the pot and dirty jesus bets $250... into a 90 dollar pot, kid fish tells dirty J that hell bet whatever hes got left, old man insta calls. Kid fish says, wow that was fast, you dont have pocket eights do you? No, but Ive got pocket aces... Kid fish flips up pocket 3s and takes down a nice pot....What a fish, he caught a 2 outer!!!Im not saying calling that big of a raise with AQ is smart, but youre complaining about a guy flopping an ace with aq like its a bad beat?!One more story,****ing fish complaining about bad beats, this one happened to me today...JJ short handed 5-10, I pop it UTG+1, 3 players call, one cold behind me and both of the blinds... Greeeaaatt, JJ 4 ways.. Flop comes AJ2 with 2 clubs... bingo bango bongo. Check to me I bet, call behind and from the bb, turn is the 2 of clubs, Im loving it, the flush got there but Ive filled up. They check to me and I bet, a nice check raise comes from the bb and I 3 bet, I figure hes got a deuce or the flush... Im already counting my money. Rivers a big fat deuce and he bets out into me, I think of raising, wondering if hes getting retarded with an ace but just call. He tables Q2o and takes down a nice pot...STFUthis stuff happens daily, if you ***** about a 3 when AQ FLOPS an ace, then I hope you dont take poker very seriously

"We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say. "Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

[pbwl11 0]

Playing at B&M over the weekend. 3/6 game on kill (now 6/12 this hand) I have QQ utg, raise, get called in 2 places. Flop 2 6 9 rainbow. Bet, one drops, other calls. Turn 4. I bet, get called. River K. I bet--get raised! Old lady by the way--somewhere between 90-125 years old. I look at her and shes just smiling, so I call. She turns up K2o!!"You called a 12 bet and called me down with that?!?"She goes "Son, I've been playing this game alot longer than you, and seen way too many younguns (yes, younguns) try to bluff people."

[theomen 0]

Sorry if this is a little off topic.There are two ways to go about getting your feet wet. This is assuming you will be playing limit holdem.1. Purchase the program Turbo Texas Holdem and the book "Small Stakes Holdem" by Ed Miller, Sklansky, Malmuth. Read and study the book, especially the preflop starting hand guide for tight games. Try to commit to memory all starting hands from all positions. Set the TTH program to as close as possible to the game you will eventually be playing for real money. Keep the book open as you practice to refresh your memory of starting hands and for referencing when you come to a difficult situation. After 5000 to 10000+ hands, go to the analysis screen in TTH and look for the chart that shows every starting hand possible and the amount of money won or lost with that particular hand. Hands you are misplaying should stand out as losers when they are strong enough to be winners. The best thing I like about this method is the low starting cost and the ability to stop the game and study up whenever you get lost in a hand.2. Again, purchase SSHE and study/keep open. Buy in for a few hundred dollars at the site of your choice and play around the .50/1 level. (Yes, it will be a little loose but much more realistic than the play money games. Its been my experience that whenever real money is involved, even the smallest amount, players tend to atleast try to play well.) Spend $50 and purchase Poker Tracker or similar hand tracking software. After several thousand hands, analyze the various stats, including how profitable every hand played is, and look for leaks in your game. These forums are great for helping to analyze these stats. You will be amazed at which hands you are profitable and unprofitable with. Real exp with a honest critical review of your stats will probably provide you with the quickest path to profitability.Phlat_________

thanks man

[21gambit 0]

"We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say. "Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

The point of the story is that you cant complain about people FLOPPING 3 outers or 2 outers. Its the nature of the game and its all in the name of implied odds. I went into a bit too much detail on the story side because it was a nice night for me that I wanted to brag about, but I felt the gist was there, provided you arent braindead.

[76clubs 0]

I love this thread

[Kangaroo 0]

After PM got busted today with KKvAA in the stars 55k rebuy Donk: trapped.......

[AceyDucey 0]

Old people will literally call down to the river with any face card...regardless if they made a pair.They will call you on the river with K high, just to say they wanted to keep you honest.I love it...its one of the reason's i think Sams Town is a F'n Gold mine, cause there are so many of these table police that play there constantly.

[Phlatline 0]

Old people will literally call down to the river with any face card...regardless if they made a pair.They will call you on the river with K high, just to say they wanted to keep you honest.I love it...its one of the reason's i think Sams Town is a F'n Gold mine, cause there are so many of these table police that play there constantly.

So do you play at Sam's Town regularly? I live about 2 miles from it. Let me know if you want some FCP company one of these days.Phlat________

[pbwl11 0]

Playing live 3/6 this morning. Guy gets AA cracked by bb holding 75o flopped straight. Very next hand gets KK cracked by bb holding pocket 3s flopped a set.Next hand, HE'S the big blind, cracked another guys AA with 94o when flop comes 994."Since I can't win with the good hands, I'm just gonna play crap hands from now on." True to his word, he was playing every hand, chasing everything down. Busted out about an hour later, but did take down some monster pots here and there.

[Vick12 0]

I think this will get very very fun :DI'll start it out with a few quotes I've heard the last week."I never win with Aces, Honestly 1-10 times I win with them..." "If you don't think Poker is Gambling you're an Idiot It's all Luck" "I knew that (put any random 1 outter card here) Was coming, So I just had to call, sometimes you just get that feeling you know?" "I had a Flush Draw." - When there is three suits on the board on the flop, and he catches 2 to make his 8 high flush. "Yeah, I'm a semi-pro, but I don't like to brag" - While Nutbarring a $10 NL table.

Jayson...Where ya been?We miss u!!!You know you are playing a fish when...Your opponent intoduces himself as....Billy Bizzle!!!

[XXEddie 0]

After PM got busted today with KKvAA in the stars 55k rebuy Donk: trapped.......

blinds 300/600, I raise to 2400 from the button with AJBB, whom only had 3200 left callsflop A22, he bets 600, i raise allin he callsflips over 42o"This game is so easy, all you gotta do is flop a big hand and sucker the fish in"....