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you know you're playing a fish when he says...


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"Hey guys my name is Jamie Gold"
[x] not funny[x] joke is older than old[x] phil ivey avatar does not make you a pro
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*** RIVER *** [Ts 6h Js Kc] [Jd]HaChaCha: bets $20JLlama: calls $20r10701: calls $20*** SHOW DOWN ***HaChaCha: shows [8c Jc] (three of a kind, Jacks)JLlama: mucks hand r10701: mucks hand HaChaCha collected $287 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $290 | Rake $3 Board [Ts 6h Js Kc Jd]Seat 1: Quality19xx folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: KevinJA8FCP folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: r10701 (button) mucked [8d 9s]Seat 4: Irokez (small blind) folded on the FlopSeat 5: HaChaCha (big blind) showed [8c Jc] and won ($287) with three of a kind, JacksSeat 6: JLlama mucked [Ac Kd]
^^^^^lol. meta-game thinking there. That's a sick overcall.Some men take their pot-odds seriously.....
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^^^^^lol. meta-game thinking there. That's a sick overcall.Some men take their pot-odds seriously.....
He obv put better on 5s4s and the other caller on 87o
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I know this one's probably in here tons of times, but it gets me everytime! I especially like Daniel's response in the WSOP (last year?) when a guy said to him by responding, "No! That's many things, but it's definately NOT poker."PokerStars Game #17111854448: Hold'em No Limit ($0.01/$0.02) - 2008/04/30 - 20:50:20 (ET)Table 'Fornax III' 9-max Seat #3 is the buttonSeat 2: freak2304 ($4.51 in chips) Seat 3: Takez0Kensei ($3.03 in chips) Seat 4: avione ($1.79 in chips) Seat 5: foxcat38 ($1.98 in chips) Seat 6: qsdfqsdfqdsf ($1.90 in chips) Seat 8: zepiii wins ($7.18 in chips) Seat 9: ChipsOrGTFO ($5 in chips) avione: posts small blind $0.01foxcat38: posts big blind $0.02ChipsOrGTFO: posts big blind $0.02McPorck: sits out *** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to freak2304 [Kd Kc]qsdfqsdfqdsf: folds zepiii wins: calls $0.02ChipsOrGTFO: checks freak2304: raises $0.10 to $0.12Takez0Kensei: folds avione: calls $0.11foxcat38: folds zepiii wins: folds ChipsOrGTFO: folds *** FLOP *** [6h 9d Ts]zepiii wins leaves the tableavione: checks freak2304: bets $0.22avione: raises $0.48 to $0.70freak2304: calls $0.48*** TURN *** [6h 9d Ts] [5h]avione: checks freak2304: bets $1avione: calls $0.97 and is all-inmuck__you123 joins the table at seat #8 *** RIVER *** [6h 9d Ts 5h] [8h]*** SHOW DOWN ***avione: shows [Ks 7c] (a straight, Six to Ten)freak2304: shows [Kd Kc] (a pair of Kings)avione collected $3.49 from potfreak2304 said, "lol...what a joke"avione said, "that's poker"*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $3.64 | Rake $0.15 Board [6h 9d Ts 5h 8h]Seat 2: freak2304 showed [Kd Kc] and lost with a pair of KingsSeat 3: Takez0Kensei (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: avione (small blind) showed [Ks 7c] and won ($3.49) with a straight, Six to TenSeat 5: foxcat38 (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: qsdfqsdfqdsf folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 8: zepiii wins folded before FlopSeat 9: ChipsOrGTFO folded before Flop

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Just had this conversation with a guy and I immediately thought of this thread. First, the hand. I probably played it bad, but whatever. I know you're not supposed to berate fish for bad play (not that i was since he was trying to justify his play) but anyway...PokerStars Game #17218788264: Hold'em Limit ($0.10/$0.20) - 2008/05/05 - 11:47:10 (ET)Table 'Alsuhail IV' 10-max Seat #8 is the buttonSeat 1: Roo6339 ($5.70 in chips) Seat 2: Sir-Krokette ($9.94 in chips) Seat 3: heimgmbh ($3.69 in chips) Seat 4: The_ICP ($4.41 in chips) Seat 5: twlucky66 ($3.12 in chips) Seat 6: FunnyGames ($6.80 in chips) Seat 7: Justin_Haze ($1.90 in chips) Seat 8: baddogg099 ($2.48 in chips) Seat 9: rululu2 ($2.76 in chips) rululu2: posts small blind $0.05Limper27: is sitting out Roo6339: posts big blind $0.10*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Roo6339 [4s Ad]Sir-Krokette: calls $0.10heimgmbh: calls $0.10The_ICP: folds twlucky66: calls $0.10FunnyGames: folds Justin_Haze: folds baddogg099: calls $0.10rululu2: calls $0.05Roo6339: checks *** FLOP *** [4c 4d Jc]rululu2: bets $0.10Limper27 leaves the tableRoo6339: calls $0.10Sir-Krokette: calls $0.10heimgmbh: folds twlucky66: calls $0.10baddogg099: calls $0.10*** TURN *** [4c 4d Jc] [5d]rululu2: checks Roo6339: bets $0.20Sir-Krokette: folds heimgmbh is sitting outtwlucky66: calls $0.20baddogg099: calls $0.20rululu2: calls $0.20*** RIVER *** [4c 4d Jc 5d] [8d]rululu2: checks Roo6339: bets $0.20twlucky66: raises $0.20 to $0.40baddogg099: calls $0.40rululu2: folds Roo6339: raises $0.20 to $0.60rululu2 leaves the tabletwlucky66: calls $0.20baddogg099: calls $0.20*** SHOW DOWN ***Roo6339: shows [4s Ad] (three of a kind, Fours)twlucky66: shows [Kd 2d] (a flush, King high)MartinFN joins the table at seat #10 baddogg099: mucks hand twlucky66 collected $3.52 from potRoo6339 said, "wow"him: "i was scared of the ace, or else i raise the house"me: "you actually chase backdoor flushes?"him: "here people play crazy cards, betting all-in (please note this is limit holdem) with A5 offsuit. In real life much different."me: "but you're behind A5o."him: "i have KJ before flush comes."me: "yes, but A5 has AJ... you're still behind. But whatever, keep doing it please."It went on like that for quite a while... I gave up. Unfortunately I flopped a set of fives against his flopped straight (47o no less) and am trying to win my money back.

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PokerStars Game #17230832498: Hold'em No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2008/05/05 - 21:24:26 (ET)Table 'Lotis' 6-max Seat #1 is the buttonSeat 1: springerpig ($23.55 in chips) Seat 2: BenGb ($31.95 in chips) Seat 3: MEC2210 ($8.70 in chips) Seat 4: peris31 ($6.85 in chips) Seat 5: 2 ACES hmm ($22.70 in chips) Seat 6: Dudeman IV ($10 in chips) BenGb: posts small blind $0.05MEC2210: posts big blind $0.10Dudeman IV: posts big blind $0.10*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Dudeman IV [Jc 9d]peris31: calls $0.102 ACES hmm: folds Dudeman IV: checks springerpig: calls $0.10BenGb: raises $0.50 to $0.60MEC2210: folds peris31: raises $0.50 to $1.10Dudeman IV: folds springerpig: folds BenGb: raises $5.90 to $7peris31: calls $5.75 and is all-in*** FLOP *** [7s 8c Ah]*** TURN *** [7s 8c Ah] [7d]*** RIVER *** [7s 8c Ah 7d] [8h]*** SHOW DOWN ***BenGb: shows [Qc Qs] (two pair, Queens and Eights)peris31: shows [Ac 4c] (two pair, Aces and Eights)peris31 collected $13.30 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $14 | Rake $0.70 Board [7s 8c Ah 7d 8h]Seat 1: springerpig (button) folded before FlopSeat 2: BenGb (small blind) showed [Qc Qs] and lost with two pair, Queens and EightsSeat 3: MEC2210 (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: peris31 showed [Ac 4c] and won ($13.30) with two pair, Aces and EightsSeat 5: 2 ACES hmm folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 6: Dudeman IV folded before FlopBenGb said, "rofl"Dudeman IV: folds peris31 said, "idiot"peris31 said, "all in with qq"peris31 said, "?"Dudeman IV said, "ill correct this convo."Dudeman IV said, "All in with A4?"Dudeman IV said, "Idiot."BenGb said, "lol ty"Dudeman IV said, "yeah, dont mention it man"peris31 said, "you just came so you cant speak"peris31 said, "****head"Dudeman IV said, "what?"

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...when THIS is what his sharkscopegraph looks like:displaygraphiv7.pngseriously...a buddy of mine played a random HU match against this dude last night, and he is by far the worst player I have ever seen...I thought it wasn't new-thread-worthy...but has anybody ever seen someone with worst stats(?):Games played: 4,842avg. Profit: -2$avg. Stake: 7$avg. ROI: -28%Total Profit: -9,797$Form: Tilt (lol)this is so sick, isn't it!????

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i played a live tournament 3 days agoboard readsAc Ah 7c Ks 7di have As Kh on river i feel like he has an A or maybe a 7, i bet the flop, bet the turn .......so i just go all in........he thinks about it for probably 45sec and finally says :"I CALL, I PLAY THE BOARD":club:

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...when THIS is what his sharkscopegraph looks like:displaygraphiv7.pngseriously...a buddy of mine played a random HU match against this dude last night, and he is by far the worst player I have ever seen...I thought it wasn't new-thread-worthy...but has anybody ever seen someone with worst stats(?):Games played: 4,842avg. Profit: -2$avg. Stake: 7$avg. ROI: -28%Total Profit: -9,797$Form: Tilt (lol)this is so sick, isn't it!????
I played one the other day and try the same graph with DOUBLE the negative profit. Then, I can't remember who exactly pointed it out to me, check out Nemo234 but a lot of you probably have seen this.Oh and playing a fish when he check/calls you down on every street with 35 on a 367TJ board and when you hit your J holding AJ he calls your all in and says "Fish, you are the worst poker player ever". Sharkscope actually had the cute little fishbowl icon for this guy. I laughed.
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i played a live tournament 3 days agoboard readsAc Ah 7c Ks 7di have As Kh on river i feel like he has an A or maybe a 7, i bet the flop, bet the turn .......so i just go all in........I say, "You caah, and it's aww ovah bay-bee!"......... he thinks about it for probably 45sec and finally says :"I CALL, I PLAY THE BOARD":club:
FYP...c'mon, how can you miss a golden opportunity like that one?
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i played a live tournament 3 days agoboard readsAc Ah 7c Ks 7di have As Kh on river i feel like he has an A or maybe a 7, i bet the flop, bet the turn .......so i just go all in........he thinks about it for probably 45sec and finally says :"I CALL, I PLAY THE BOARD":club:
lol i liked this one!!!
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I was playing a home game once, and my friend's cousin had just moved to town. He's a little younger than most of us that play, but he's a good guy, so we asked him if he wanted to play. He did. He has a little experience. Enough so that inviting him wasn't taking advantage. He gets into a pot, holding A7h, calls a bet from 1 other player - everyone else has folded. Flop comes down 8h,Kh,As. Some betting ensues and River and turn come down *blank* and another heart, finishing his flush. He bets it. Other player calls and the showdown. Other player has K8o. My friend says "Awwww" and mucks his cards. As the other player rakes in his chips...I lean over and whisper to my new friend that he just folded the nut flush.His face was just about the funniest thing I've ever seen.

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Certainly no one can be this stupid right?PokerStars Game #17234310090: Hold'em No Limit ($0.01/$0.02) - 2008/05/06 - 00:27:49 (ET)Table 'Tirela II' 9-max Seat #9 is the buttonSeat 1: ChrisE225 ($2.62 in chips)Seat 2: copeton ($2.88 in chips)Seat 4: Wattda ($0.49 in chips)Seat 6: base72588 ($4.33 in chips)Seat 7: beatrice2201 ($2.82 in chips)Seat 8: connrod50 ($6.37 in chips)Seat 9: cjf2008 ($2.80 in chips)ChrisE225: posts small blind $0.01copeton: posts big blind $0.02jeffr0ck: sits out*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to ChrisE225 [8d Th]Wattda: calls $0.02base72588: foldsbeatrice2201: calls $0.02connrod50: foldscjf2008: foldsChrisE225: calls $0.01copeton: checks*** FLOP *** [3c Qc 9d]ChrisE225: checkscopeton: checksWattda: checksbeatrice2201: bets $0.34ChrisE225: foldscopeton: foldsWattda: calls $0.34*** TURN *** [3c Qc 9d] [5c]Wattda: checksbeatrice2201: bets $0.12Wattda: calls $0.12*** RIVER *** [3c Qc 9d 5c] [5s]Wattda: checksbeatrice2201: bets $0.10Wattda: folds (FOR 1 MORE CENT)beatrice2201 collected $0.95 from potbeatrice2201: doesn't show hand

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Certainly no one can be this stupid right?PokerStars Game #17234310090: Hold'em No Limit ($0.01/$0.02) - 2008/05/06 - 00:27:49 (ET)Table 'Tirela II' 9-max Seat #9 is the buttonSeat 1: ChrisE225 ($2.62 in chips)Seat 2: copeton ($2.88 in chips)Seat 4: Wattda ($0.49 in chips)Seat 6: base72588 ($4.33 in chips)Seat 7: beatrice2201 ($2.82 in chips)Seat 8: connrod50 ($6.37 in chips)Seat 9: cjf2008 ($2.80 in chips)ChrisE225: posts small blind $0.01copeton: posts big blind $0.02jeffr0ck: sits out*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to ChrisE225 [8d Th]Wattda: calls $0.02base72588: foldsbeatrice2201: calls $0.02connrod50: foldscjf2008: foldsChrisE225: calls $0.01copeton: checks*** FLOP *** [3c Qc 9d]ChrisE225: checkscopeton: checksWattda: checksbeatrice2201: bets $0.34ChrisE225: foldscopeton: foldsWattda: calls $0.34*** TURN *** [3c Qc 9d] [5c]Wattda: checksbeatrice2201: bets $0.12Wattda: calls $0.12*** RIVER *** [3c Qc 9d 5c] [5s]Wattda: checksbeatrice2201: bets $0.10Wattda: folds (FOR 1 MORE CENT)beatrice2201 collected $0.95 from potbeatrice2201: doesn't show hand
Math much?
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Hint: Look at Stacks.
Touche!Unconverted hand histories are the work of the Devil.
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I honestly can't figure out what is worse... him limping in with Q8o then calling an extra 900 or the river check.......2008/05/09 - 17:57:31 (ET)Table '87045163 187' 9-max Seat #7 is the buttonSeat 1: RoniSan (3750 in chips) Seat 2: johnwartique (20710 in chips) Seat 3: stebaird (4340 in chips) Seat 4: coollivi (10660 in chips) Seat 5: stroke88 (13395 in chips) Seat 6: Caetana (26045 in chips) Seat 7: KevinJA8FCP (5360 in chips) Seat 8: atownpwn (20495 in chips) Seat 9: pjb88 (5547 in chips) RoniSan: posts the ante 25johnwartique: posts the ante 25stebaird: posts the ante 25coollivi: posts the ante 25stroke88: posts the ante 25Caetana: posts the ante 25KevinJA8FCP: posts the ante 25atownpwn: posts the ante 25pjb88: posts the ante 25atownpwn: posts small blind 150pjb88: posts big blind 300*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to KevinJA8FCP [Qs 9c]RoniSan: folds johnwartique: folds stebaird: folds coollivi: folds stroke88: calls 300Caetana: folds KevinJA8FCP: folds atownpwn: raises 900 to 1200pjb88: folds stroke88: calls 900*** FLOP *** [Th Jh Kh]atownpwn: checks stroke88: checks *** TURN *** [Th Jh Kh] [Ah]atownpwn: bets 2222stroke88: calls 2222*** RIVER *** [Th Jh Kh Ah] [5c]atownpwn: checks stroke88: checks atownpwn: shows [7h As] (a flush, Ace high)stroke88: shows [Qh 8d] (a Royal Flush)stroke88 collected 7369 from pot

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  • 3 weeks later...

This hand occurs:PokerStars Game #17745726505: Tournament #89799109, $5.00+$0.50 Omaha Hi/Lo Limit - Level XII (1000/2000) - 2008/05/28 - 04:41:47 (ET)Table '89799109 2' 9-max Seat #1 is the buttonSeat 1: brittaabby (9626 in chips) Seat 2: soxnation420 (6744 in chips) Seat 4: Aracun (21181 in chips) Seat 5: Rombo4 (1978 in chips) Seat 6: Phantasma (52358 in chips) Seat 7: Vismund (23470 in chips) Seat 8: ko8e34 (23124 in chips) Seat 9: TWO44 (13400 in chips) soxnation420: posts small blind 500Aracun: posts big blind 1000*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to ko8e34 [5d 4d 3c 4s]Rombo4: raises 978 to 1978 and is all-inPhantasma: calls 1978Vismund: calls 1978ko8e34: calls 1978TWO44: folds brittaabby: folds soxnation420: folds Aracun: folds *** FLOP *** [Kh Ks 4h]Phantasma: checks Vismund: checks ko8e34: bets 1000Phantasma: folds Vismund: calls 1000*** TURN *** [Kh Ks 4h] [5c]Vismund: checks ko8e34: bets 2000Vismund: calls 2000*** RIVER *** [Kh Ks 4h 5c] [7h]Vismund: bets 2000ko8e34: calls 2000*** SHOW DOWN ***Vismund: shows [2c Ad 3h Js] (HI: a pair of Kings; LO: 7,5,4,2,A)ko8e34: shows [5d 4d 3c 4s] (HI: a full house, Fours full of Kings)ko8e34 collected 5000 from side potVismund collected 5000 from side potRombo4: mucks hand ko8e34 collected 4706 from main potVismund collected 4706 from main potko8e34 said, "why are u calling my flop bet"*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 19412 Main pot 9412. Side pot 10000. | Rake 0 Board [Kh Ks 4h 5c 7h]Seat 1: brittaabby (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: soxnation420 (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: Aracun (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 5: Rombo4 mucked [8h Kc As 8d]Seat 6: Phantasma folded on the FlopSeat 7: Vismund showed [2c Ad 3h Js] and won (9706) with HI: a pair of Kings; LO: 7,5,4,2,ASeat 8: ko8e34 showed [5d 4d 3c 4s] and won (9706) with HI: a full house, Fours full of KingsSeat 9: TWO44 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Then this chat: ko8e34: why are u calling my flop betVismund: i had a good feelingko8e34: lmfaoDealer: The break will start when the current hand finishesVismund: and then on the turn i was thinking the gut feeling is coming trueko8e34: well played

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  • 4 weeks later...

There was no chat in this hand... but I laughed and felt it deserved to be posted here. The BB folds facing a raise of 2 into a 1100 pot with blinds and antes.PokerStars Game #18253719733: Tournament #92701758, $75+$7 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/06/19 - 23:25:35 (ET)Table '92701758 1' 9-max Seat #7 is the buttonSeat 2: sharkattac3D (7244 in chips) Seat 4: ldw1971 (427 in chips) Seat 7: BongBob (1814 in chips) Seat 9: QuasiFiction (4015 in chips) sharkattac3D: posts the ante 25ldw1971: posts the ante 25BongBob: posts the ante 25QuasiFiction: posts the ante 25QuasiFiction: posts small blind 200sharkattac3D: posts big blind 400*** HOLE CARDS ***ldw1971: raises 2 to 402 and is all-inBongBob: folds QuasiFiction: folds sharkattac3D: folds Uncalled bet (2) returned to ldw1971ldw1971 collected 1100 from potldw1971: doesn't show hand *** SUMMARY ***Total pot 1100 | Rake 0 Seat 2: sharkattac3D (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: ldw1971 collected (1100)Seat 7: BongBob (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: QuasiFiction (small blind) folded before Flop

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There was no chat in this hand... but I laughed and felt it deserved to be posted here. The BB folds facing a raise of 2 into a 1100 pot with blinds and antes.PokerStars Game #18253719733: Tournament #92701758, $75+$7 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/06/19 - 23:25:35 (ET)Table '92701758 1' 9-max Seat #7 is the buttonSeat 2: sharkattac3D (7244 in chips) Seat 4: ldw1971 (427 in chips) Seat 7: BongBob (1814 in chips) Seat 9: QuasiFiction (4015 in chips) sharkattac3D: posts the ante 25ldw1971: posts the ante 25BongBob: posts the ante 25QuasiFiction: posts the ante 25QuasiFiction: posts small blind 200sharkattac3D: posts big blind 400*** HOLE CARDS ***ldw1971: raises 2 to 402 and is all-inBongBob: folds QuasiFiction: folds sharkattac3D: folds Uncalled bet (2) returned to ldw1971ldw1971 collected 1100 from potldw1971: doesn't show hand *** SUMMARY ***Total pot 1100 | Rake 0 Seat 2: sharkattac3D (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: ldw1971 collected (1100)Seat 7: BongBob (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: QuasiFiction (small blind) folded before Flop
He knew he was beat :ts:club:
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