you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[Balloon guy 158]

PokerStars Game #11935883161: Hold'em Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2007/09/08 - 03:25:10 (ET)Table 'Herculina' 10-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: HoopsStars ($5.63 in chips) Seat 2: PTBalloon ($20.34 in chips) Seat 4: vbnautilus ($14.68 in chips) Seat 5: tb17 ($8484.98 in chips) Seat 8: WeenieBeenie ($1.61 in chips) Seat 9: Xare ($0.20 in chips) Seat 10: jcr_leafs ($9.71 in chips) vbnautilus: posts small blind $0.02tb17: posts big blind $0.05*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to tb17 [5s 8c]WeenieBeenie: folds Xare: folds jcr_leafs: folds HoopsStars: folds PTBalloon: calls $0.05vbnautilus: calls $0.03tb17: raises $0.05 to $0.10PTBalloon: raises $0.05 to $0.15vbnautilus: folds tb17: raises $0.05 to $0.20Betting is cappedPTBalloon: calls $0.05*** FLOP *** [Qd Jd 2c]VicksPittbul has returnedtb17: checks PTBalloon: bets $0.05tb17: raises $0.05 to $0.10tb17 said, "KABLAMMO"PTBalloon said, "dang"PTBalloon: calls $0.05*** TURN *** [Qd Jd 2c] [Qh]tb17: checks PTBalloon: bets $0.10tb17: raises $0.10 to $0.20PTBalloon said, "DANG IT"PTBalloon: raises $0.10 to $0.30tb17: calls $0.10*** RIVER *** [Qd Jd 2c Qh] [Qc]tb17: checks PTBalloon: bets $0.10tb17: raises $0.10 to $0.20PTBalloon said, "NO"tb17 said, "TRIPLE CHECK RAISE"tb17 said, "HOLLA"PTBalloon: raises $0.10 to $0.30tb17: raises $0.10 to $0.40Betting is cappedPTBalloon: calls $0.10*** SHOW DOWN ***tb17: shows [5s 8c] (three of a kind, Queens)PTBalloon: shows [8h 9s] (three of a kind, Queens - Jack+Nine kicker)PTBalloon collected $1.96 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $2.05 | Rake $0.09 Board [Qd Jd 2c Qh Qc]Seat 1: HoopsStars folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: PTBalloon (button) showed [8h 9s] and won ($1.96) with three of a kind, QueensSeat 4: vbnautilus (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 5: tb17 (big blind) showed [5s 8c] and lost with three of a kind, QueensSeat 8: WeenieBeenie folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: Xare folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 10: jcr_leafs folded before Flop (didn't bet) Afterwards:tb17 said, "How can you call with a 9 high?"PTBalloon said, "I knew 9 high was good."What a couple of donks

[BeaverStyle 1]

here's the hand to preface this:PokerStars Game #12001882122: Tournament #60894372, $4.00+$0.40 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2007/09/11 - 16:49:10 (ET)Table '60894372 2' 9-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: forzagrifone (12950 in chips) Seat 2: gerrydedijk (34655 in chips) Seat 3: WolframS (12160 in chips) Seat 5: air denzil (8600 in chips) Seat 6: jondavis (8303 in chips) is sitting outSeat 7: Great_Xael (12613 in chips) Seat 9: Beaverstyle (4952 in chips) forzagrifone: posts the ante 25gerrydedijk: posts the ante 25WolframS: posts the ante 25air denzil: posts the ante 25jondavis: posts the ante 25Great_Xael: posts the ante 25Beaverstyle: posts the ante 25WolframS: posts small blind 200air denzil: posts big blind 400*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Beaverstyle [Qd 7d]jondavis: folds Great_Xael: folds Beaverstyle: folds forzagrifone: folds gerrydedijk: raises 1200 to 1600WolframS: raises 10535 to 12135 and is all-inair denzil: folds gerrydedijk: calls 10535*** FLOP *** [Js 9h 5s]*** TURN *** [Js 9h 5s] [Qh]*** RIVER *** [Js 9h 5s Qh] [Ah]*** SHOW DOWN ***WolframS: shows [Ks Kh] (a pair of Kings)gerrydedijk: shows [Jh Ac] (two pair, Aces and Jacks)gerrydedijk collected 24845 from potforzagrifone: wowforzagrifone: you win all!gerrydedijk: little bit of luck100% Eskimo: waohforzagrifone: i guess it is not only that....WolframS [observer]: when I saw the call with AJ I knew what would happenWolframS [observer]: why dont u fold ?Dealer: The break will start when the current hand finishesBeaverstyle: lol gg wolfram, crappy beat100% Eskimo: what happengerrydedijk: when you fold you dont win

[barrec 0]

Stage #901197296 Tourney ID 1889861 Holdem Multi Normal Tournament No Limit $40 - 2007-09-15 21:44:28 (ET)Table: 286 (Real Money) Seat #8 is the dealerSeat 1 - LONAMAY ($1555 in chips)Seat 2 - ANDY_WES ($4310 in chips)Seat 3 - DECAPOLIS00 ($1860 in chips)Seat 4 - SPUNKWATER ($4130 in chips)Seat 5 - JBPRE ($3430 in chips)Seat 6 - MUCKTHISONE ($1225 in chips)Seat 7 - TOMCOBI ($1645 in chips)Seat 8 - MOONBABY40 ($1575 in chips)Seat 9 - LADY_JEAN ($1435 in chips)LADY_JEAN - Posts small blind $20LONAMAY - Posts big blind $40*** POCKET CARDS ***Dealt to SPUNKWATER [6c 6d] ANDY_WES - FoldsDECAPOLIS00 - Raises $240 to $240SPUNKWATER - Calls $240JBPRE - FoldsMUCKTHISONE - FoldsTOMCOBI - FoldsMOONBABY40 - Calls $240LADY_JEAN - Calls $220LONAMAY - Folds*** FLOP *** [2h 3s 8d]LADY_JEAN - Bets $40DECAPOLIS00 - Calls $40SPUNKWATER - Calls $40MOONBABY40 - Calls $40*** TURN *** [2h 3s 8d] [5h]LADY_JEAN - Bets $40DECAPOLIS00 - Raises $440 to $440SPUNKWATER - Calls $440MOONBABY40 - FoldsLADY_JEAN - Calls $400*** RIVER *** [2h 3s 8d 5h] [Jd]LADY_JEAN - ChecksDECAPOLIS00 - Bets $1080SPUNKWATER - Calls $1080LADY_JEAN - Folds*** SHOW DOWN ***DECAPOLIS00 - Shows [Qd Ad] (ace high) SPUNKWATER - Shows [6c 6d] (One pair, sixes) SPUNKWATER Collects $4640 from main pot*** SUMMARY ***Total Pot($4640)Board [2h 3s 8d 5h Jd]and then in chat:SPUNKWATER wins ($4640.00) with (One pair, sixes).DECAPOLIS00: wow donkeyDECAPOLIS00: im going go watch u lose puck facePlayer DECAPOLIS00 has finished the tournament in # 1915 place.SPUNKWATER: okDECAPOLIS00: pucking donkeyANDY_WES: Oh wow--a uless argument--loli just thought it was funny he was so upset after losing in a FREE ROLL.

[donk4life 34]

Stage #901790476 Tourney ID 1885473 Holdem Single Tournament No Limit $200 - 2007-09-16 10:56:04 (ET)Table: 16340115 (Real Money) Seat #6 is the dealerSeat 1 - 95HDROADKING ($2185 in chips)Seat 5 - GASMAN07 ($1790 in chips)Seat 6 - HITECH65 ($5025 in chips)95HDROADKING - Posts small blind $100GASMAN07 - Posts big blind $200*** POCKET CARDS ***Dealt to GASMAN07 [5c 10d] HITECH65 - Calls $20095HDROADKING - FoldsGASMAN07 - Checks*** FLOP *** [8d 8s 8c]GASMAN07 - ChecksHITECH65 - Checks*** TURN *** [8d 8s 8c] [Jc]GASMAN07 - ChecksHITECH65 - Checks*** RIVER *** [8d 8s 8c Jc] [2s]GASMAN07 - ChecksHITECH65 - Checks*** SHOW DOWN ***GASMAN07 - Shows [5c 10d] (Three of a kind, eights) HITECH65 - Shows [As 8h] (Four of a kind, eights) HITECH65 Collects $500 from main pot*** SUMMARY ***Total Pot($500)Board [8d 8s 8c Jc 2s]Seat 1: 95HDROADKING (small blind) Folded on the POCKET CARDSSeat 5: GASMAN07 (big blind) HI:lost with Three of a kind, eights [5c 10d - B:8s,B:8d,B:8c,B:Jc,P:10d] Seat 6: HITECH65 (dealer) won Total ($500) HI:($500) with Four of a kind, eights [As 8h - B:8s,P:8h,B:8d,B:8c,P:As] Afterwards...Gasman07: Checked quads?HITECH65: Useless to bet thereGasman07: Why's that?HITECH65: It's not as if I was going to make anymore money

[NonZeroPossibility 0]

What you mean you bet when you hit quads?

[XXEddie 0]

What you mean you bet when you hit quads?

noyou check to the river, then open-farrell so then dont know you slwplayed quads the whole way

[xzanos 0]

In a $5 turbo rebuy satellite:lemonademan: GOING ALLIN COSTS YOU $$$lemonademan: GOING ALLIN IS A MOVE THAT REQUIRES NO THINKING, THUS DONE ONLY BY THE DUMBEST OF PLAYERSlemonademan: ALLIN COSTS YOU MONEYlemonademan: ZERO SKILL REQUIRED

[xzanos 0]

From a guy who is 82/12hunchy: hey i play tight i still get $@$!ed on the river

[Chris E 0]

Blinds: 10/20Marmelada has foldedGEOWIND has foldedChrisE225 has raised $90 (JJ)genemi83 has foldeddoktertje has foldedhnkanakia has foldedkutkaarten has foldedkutie has called $90wbusey has foldedupyalover has foldedDealing flop - (210)ChrisE225 has bet $170kutie has called $170Dealing turn - (370)ChrisE225 has bet $345kutie has called $345Dealing river - (720)ChrisE225 has bet $520kutie has gone all-in for $515Dealer: ChrisE225 shows ( , ) pair of jacksDealer: kutie shows ( , ) pair of aces(Game 20454356) kutie wins pot ($2270) with pair of acesChrisE225: omfgkutie: sorry

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

noyou check to the river, then open-farrell so then dont know you slwplayed quads the whole way

That is the Conditioner

Dealer: ChrisE225 shows ( , ) pair of jacksDealer: kutie shows ( , ) pair of aces(Game 20454356) kutie wins pot ($2270) with pair of acesChrisE225: omfgkutie: sorry

This is a bad beat, the "fish" said nothing funny.

[Roo6339 0]

I knocked a guy out of a $1 18 man sit and go with 5 players left. I gave a polite "gg".He gave an angry:"I'll play you heads up"All I could reply with was: "lol... big man"

[Chris E 0]

That is the ConditionerThis is a bad beat, the "fish" said nothing funny.

Quiet you. I'm going to post another, from the same match, which is even better. Here, actions clearly speak louder than words as villain makes the hero call with 5 high.Dealer: the blinds are 600/1200:75Dealing hole cardsDealer: ipissuoff has foldedDealer: Cashi3r has foldedDealer: KINGRANSOM77 has foldedDealer: ChrisE225 has raised $2800 (45o)Dealer: mggalli has called $2200Dealing flop - A 4 9 Dealer: ChrisE225 has bet $6200Dealer: mggalli has called $6200Dealing turn - Q Dealer: ChrisE225 has gone all-in for $8084Dealer: mggalli has called $8084Dealing river - 6 Dealer: ChrisE225 shows ( 4, 5) pair of foursDealer: mggalli shows ( 2, 5) high card, ace(Game 20455576) ChrisE225 wins pot ($35743) with pair of foursChrisE225: u called with 5 high?

[finztotheleft 0]

ChrisE225: u called with 5 high?

All of the money went in on the turn. He called with a gutshot. Obviously, that's not a good call, but it 's not as bad as a river call with only 5 high.

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

Almost as bad as firing 2 bullets with bottom pair crappy kicker...Edit: There could have been a flush draw too...

[Jambot 0]

Just before we got started at a recent home game my cousin (who likes to think he's a bit of a poker master after luckboxing a few cashes recently) went on a rant about how we shouldn't burn cards. He insisted that because the burn card could be one he (or indeed anyone else at the table) needs to make a good hand that it was foolish to burn them. I thought he was joking at first, but to my horror he was deadly serious. Despite it being explained to him why a card is burned and also that the burn could in fact help anyone, not just him, he refused to play until everyone took a vote on it. He lost this to a unanimous decision obviously.It was one of those moments where you are just embarrassed to know someone, let alone be related to them!

[Cappy37 0]

Just before we got started at a recent home game my cousin (who likes to think he's a bit of a poker master after luckboxing a few cashes recently) went on a rant about how we shouldn't burn cards. He insisted that because the burn card could be one he (or indeed anyone else at the table) needs to make a good hand that it was foolish to burn them. I thought he was joking at first, but to my horror he was deadly serious. Despite it being explained to him why a card is burned and also that the burn could in fact help anyone, not just him, he refused to play until everyone took a vote on it. He lost this to a unanimous decision obviously.It was one of those moments where you are just embarrassed to know someone, let alone be related to them!

WWCD!

[Chris E 0]

Almost as bad as firing 2 bullets with bottom pair crappy kicker...Edit: There could have been a flush draw too...

This play was read dependent, he literally played every single hand.

[timwakefield 68]

noswings [observer]: fat fvcking nigga jewnoswings [observer]: go kill urself and ur family

[onlyme386 0]

hell i had 23os for like 40 straight hands... no reason think Q7 wasnt good

[XXEddie 0]

randlsports: I win tournaments at foxwards dailyKevinJA8FCP: Foxwards, eh? Whats thatrandlsports: Yeah, Foxwards. Its a casino in Conn. moronKevinJA8FCP: Nope, never heard of itKevinJA8FCP: I've heard of Foxwoods, no this Foxwards.randlsports: Thats what I meant.KevinJA8FCP: I won a WSOP braceletrandlsports: bull***KevinJA8FCP: Yeah I did, 6 years ago.KevinJA8FCP: When the WSOP was still held at Benyons

[Shakey90 0]

^^^^----well played sir

[KevinFKHS 0]

randlsports: I win tournaments at foxwards dailyKevinJA8FCP: Foxwards, eh? Whats thatrandlsports: Yeah, Foxwards. Its a casino in Conn. moronKevinJA8FCP: Nope, never heard of itKevinJA8FCP: I've heard of Foxwoods, no this Foxwards.randlsports: Thats what I meant.KevinJA8FCP: I won a WSOP braceletrandlsports: bull***KevinJA8FCP: Yeah I did, 6 years ago.KevinJA8FCP: When the WSOP was still held at Benyons

lol...Maybe he didn't mean Foxwoods, maybe he wins Tourneys at Hogwards daily...

[steve73 0]

any hand is playable

[steve73 0]

vanZijtveld: with this low buy in, you meet the less players, including myselfThats what he said after I abused him after this handPokerStars Game #12617369605: Tournament #64035342, $4.00+$0.40 Hold'em No Limit - Level IV (50/100) - 2007/10/14 - 05:29:09 (ET)Table '64035342 7' 9-max Seat #4 is the buttonSeat 1: tobyfunk (2870 in chips) Seat 2: MEX123 (2770 in chips) Seat 3: 00eina (5200 in chips) Seat 4: Flushmon (1185 in chips) Seat 5: vanZijtveld (1985 in chips) Seat 6: Cathy86 (2780 in chips) Seat 7: haveagoodday (2115 in chips) Seat 8: jlhow (2965 in chips) Seat 9: jdogmc (1050 in chips) vanZijtveld: posts small blind 50Cathy86: posts big blind 100*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to MEX123 [7s 9s]haveagoodday: folds jlhow: folds jdogmc: folds tobyfunk: folds MEX123: calls 10000eina: folds Flushmon: folds vanZijtveld: calls 50Cathy86: checks *** FLOP *** [Ts Qh 8s]vanZijtveld: bets 500Cathy86: folds MEX123: raises 500 to 1000vanZijtveld: calls 500*** TURN *** [Ts Qh 8s] [Kc]vanZijtveld: bets 885 and is all-inMEX123: calls 885*** RIVER *** [Ts Qh 8s Kc] [5d]*** SHOW DOWN ***vanZijtveld: shows [Jc 7c] (high card King)MEX123: shows [7s 9s] (high card King - lower kicker)vanZijtveld collected 4070 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 4070 | Rake 0 Board [Ts Qh 8s Kc 5d]Seat 1: tobyfunk folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: MEX123 showed [7s 9s] and lost with high card KingSeat 3: 00eina folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: Flushmon (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 5: vanZijtveld (small blind) showed [Jc 7c] and won (4070) with high card KingSeat 6: Cathy86 (big blind) folded on the FlopSeat 7: haveagoodday folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 8: jlhow folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: jdogmc folded before Flop (didn't bet)

[biff_goods 0]

"I must have played the hand bad.....I lost it"(after pushing all in for 5 dollars in a limped .05/.10 game with 1010) "I pushed because though tens are a good hand they don't play well after the flop so I wanted to make the most profit for my hand"and My all time favorite after we both turned over our 1-card tied straight, "it's a split.....oh wait....nope you win....you have a better kicker than me."