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you know you're playing a fish when he says...

JaysonWeber

By JaysonWeber,
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iloveplaypokr

iloveplaypokr 0

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I was playing .50/1 shorthanded this morning and I overbet a flush for value on the river - pot was $36 and I bet $50. He called with two pair and berated me for a large bet in a small pot.Him: Large bets into small pots = donk bet. Please.Me: k thx for calling anyway.About a dozen hands later he bet $70 into a $20 pot against someone and the guy had flopped a Full House lol. He had to show AJ for a high card Ace.

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nutzbuster

nutzbuster 7

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Saturday, live cash game.MP2 raises to $75 pre flop.All fold to BB, who then calls.Flop is...I dunno, what ever. BB checks, MP2 raises.BB folds his hand FACE UP, laughs and says, "I had to call because you raised" ... :D wft????!!!lol :club:

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freak2304

freak2304 0

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I haven't read many but IMO "it was suited" is the battlecry of the donkey. Yeah great justification for calling a bet 5 times the big blind preflop with 92 suited. I am also begining to hate hearing "I had outs". Yeah all two of them, great ****ing call buddy.
Yah, I haven't had the time to sift through the hundreds of pages either, but my biggest pet peeve is when somebody beats me out of a pot they had no business being in, then follows it up with a "Yah, I dunno...I had a feeling about that 94, K5, etc.". Also, when they put a horrid beat on you and rather than just being quiet and dragging the pot, they go on to explain their thought process on the hand. PLEASE, just take the pot quietly and be thankful to the poker gods. AAAAND end rant...
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XXEddie

XXEddie 0

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...wowjust....just.....wowPokerStars Game #9343411723: Tournament #47446782, $10+$1 Hold'em No Limit - Level III (25/50) - 2007/04/09 - 22:54:36 (ET)Table '47446782 5' 9-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: nerdbait (6950 in chips) Seat 2: The Boss4656 (4360 in chips) Seat 3: AABrunoAA (2525 in chips) Seat 4: AFink93 (3400 in chips) Seat 5: tazzman21 (3850 in chips) Seat 6: NOLUCK4ME2 (1855 in chips) Seat 8: KevinJA8 (6355 in chips) Seat 9: Sleeper42 (619 in chips) AABrunoAA: posts small blind 25AFink93: posts big blind 50*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to KevinJA8 [Td 7c]tazzman21: calls 50NOLUCK4ME2: folds KevinJA8: folds Sleeper42: folds nerdbait: raises 350 to 400The Boss4656: folds AABrunoAA: folds AFink93: raises 575 to 975tazzman21: folds nerdbait: calls 575*** FLOP *** [3c Qd 3s]AFink93: checks nerdbait: bets 1050AFink93: raises 1375 to 2425 and is all-innerdbait: calls 1375*** TURN *** [3c Qd 3s] [5d]*** RIVER *** [3c Qd 3s 5d] [6h]*** SHOW DOWN ***AFink93: shows [Ad Ac] (two pair, Aces and Threes)nerdbait: shows [8h Jc] (a pair of Threes)AFink93 collected 6875 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 6875 | Rake 0 Board [3c Qd 3s 5d 6h]Seat 1: nerdbait showed [8h Jc] and lost with a pair of ThreesSeat 2: The Boss4656 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: AABrunoAA (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: AFink93 (big blind) showed [Ad Ac] and won (6875) with two pair, Aces and ThreesSeat 5: tazzman21 folded before FlopSeat 6: NOLUCK4ME2 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 8: KevinJA8 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: Sleeper42 folded before Flop (didn't bet)w....t....f?

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Naslund44

Naslund44 0

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...wowjust....just.....wowPokerStars Game #9343411723: Tournament #47446782, $10+$1 Hold'em No Limit - Level III (25/50) - 2007/04/09 - 22:54:36 (ET)Table '47446782 5' 9-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: nerdbait (6950 in chips) Seat 2: The Boss4656 (4360 in chips) Seat 3: AABrunoAA (2525 in chips) Seat 4: AFink93 (3400 in chips) Seat 5: tazzman21 (3850 in chips) Seat 6: NOLUCK4ME2 (1855 in chips) Seat 8: KevinJA8 (6355 in chips) Seat 9: Sleeper42 (619 in chips) AABrunoAA: posts small blind 25AFink93: posts big blind 50*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to KevinJA8 [Td 7c]tazzman21: calls 50NOLUCK4ME2: folds KevinJA8: folds Sleeper42: folds nerdbait: raises 350 to 400The Boss4656: folds AABrunoAA: folds AFink93: raises 575 to 975tazzman21: folds nerdbait: calls 575*** FLOP *** [3c Qd 3s]AFink93: checks nerdbait: bets 1050AFink93: raises 1375 to 2425 and is all-innerdbait: calls 1375*** TURN *** [3c Qd 3s] [5d]*** RIVER *** [3c Qd 3s 5d] [6h]*** SHOW DOWN ***AFink93: shows [Ad Ac] (two pair, Aces and Threes)nerdbait: shows [8h Jc] (a pair of Threes)AFink93 collected 6875 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 6875 | Rake 0 Board [3c Qd 3s 5d 6h]Seat 1: nerdbait showed [8h Jc] and lost with a pair of ThreesSeat 2: The Boss4656 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: AABrunoAA (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: AFink93 (big blind) showed [Ad Ac] and won (6875) with two pair, Aces and ThreesSeat 5: tazzman21 folded before FlopSeat 6: NOLUCK4ME2 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 8: KevinJA8 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: Sleeper42 folded before Flop (didn't bet)w....t....f?
well...he did have runner runner
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Doug

Doug 0

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I have some gold in my hand historys, so just reply and ask for them if you want those posted, I seriously have seen calls with 9 high. Also some classic from a fish today giving me lectures. He drew this picture of a fish at me <@{{{{{{< Or something like that before saying "poker is a game all about luck, we should just love it and get on with this wonderful game"and then saying "What can i say? I like hearts" when his all in with the 95 of hearts made a flush on the turn.I then beat him with a 5:1 Chip disadvantage heads up.

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JesseW316

JesseW316 0

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littlekeed: so this site is rigged?Administrator: $3+R satellite to the Sunday Million starts in 10 minutes. To register see T47146656 under the Tourney/Satellite tab.littlekeed: is that your opinion?grudenman: AJ VS AK OR AQ ON THIS SITE IS A 51% 49%grudenman: ALMOST ANYTIME

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BeaverStyle

BeaverStyle 1

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littlekeed: so this site is rigged?Administrator: $3+R satellite to the Sunday Million starts in 10 minutes. To register see T47146656 under the Tourney/Satellite tab.littlekeed: is that your opinion?grudenman: AJ VS AK OR AQ ON THIS SITE IS A 51% 49%grudenman: ALMOST ANYTIME
Anytime I see someone put statistics into the chat, I remind them:"60% of the time, it works everytime."Usually they don't understand the joke, and I e-giggle.
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simo_8ball

simo_8ball 1

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Anytime I see someone put statistics into the chat, I remind them:"60% of the time, it works everytime."Usually they don't understand the joke, and I e-giggle.
Possible new favourite word.
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troyomac

troyomac 0

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I don't normally post in this thread, but this one I couldn't resist:Seat 1: BrewDinda (2900 in chips) Seat 2: troyomac (6320 in chips) Seat 3: JCDevilD (5880 in chips) Seat 4: deffer_panic (1710 in chips) Seat 5: travi425 (2040 in chips) Seat 6: nodonkhere (3220 in chips) Seat 7: Paradise 46 (3930 in chips) Seat 8: Janhuld (950 in chips) Seat 9: bart3r (2960 in chips) travi425: posts small blind 10nodonkhere: posts big blind 20*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to troyomac [9c 7c]Paradise 46: folds Janhuld: folds bart3r: raises 60 to 80BrewDinda: folds troyomac: calls 80JCDevilD: calls 80deffer_panic: raises 1060 to 1140travi425: folds nodonkhere: folds bart3r: folds troyomac: folds JCDevilD: calls 1060*** FLOP *** [2c 2d 9d]JCDevilD: bets 100deffer_panic: raises 470 to 570 and is all-inJCDevilD: folds deffer_panic collected 2670 from potdeffer_panic: doesn't show hand After a bunch of people were like "wtf" he says:JCDevilD said, "bd feelin"

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HijackedAffairs

HijackedAffairs 0

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Full Tilt Poker Game #2194605424: Table Timber Pine - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 15:53:56 ET - 2007/04/12Seat 1: ssogali ($24.30)Seat 2: HijackedAffairs ($59.40)Seat 3: retarded fish ($12.10)Seat 4: kaialan ($26.20)Seat 5: Tgr0ss ($39.75)Seat 6: ElKoPay ($5.70)Seat 7: Ismalrn ($19.45)Seat 8: EJ666 ($6.35)Seat 9: snowflake14 ($2.50)HijackedAffairs posts the small blind of $0.10retarded fish posts the big blind of $0.25The button is in seat #1*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to HijackedAffairs [9h Jh]kaialan calls $0.25Tgr0ss foldsElKoPay foldsIsmalrn foldsEJ666 foldssnowflake14 calls $0.25ssogali foldsHijackedAffairs calls $0.15retarded fish checks*** FLOP *** [8h 7h Th]HijackedAffairs checksretarded fish bets $0.90kaialan foldssnowflake14 foldsHijackedAffairs calls $0.90*** TURN *** [8h 7h Th] [9c]HijackedAffairs checksretarded fish bets $3retarded fish: put me in dawgHijackedAffairs raises to $11.25retarded fish calls $7.95, and is all inHijackedAffairs shows [9h Jh]retarded fish shows [Ah Ts]Uncalled bet of $0.30 returned to HijackedAffairs*** RIVER *** [8h 7h Th 9c] [6d]HijackedAffairs shows a straight flush, Jack highretarded fish shows a straight, Ten highretarded fish: darnHijackedAffairs wins the pot ($23.50) with a straight flush, Jack highretarded fish is sitting out*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $24.70 | Rake $1.20Board: [8h 7h Th 9c 6d]Seat 2: HijackedAffairs (small blind) showed [9h Jh] and won ($23.50) with a straight flush, Jack highSeat 3: retarded fish (big blind) showed [Ah Ts] and lost with a straight, Ten high/brag post.

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timwakefield

timwakefield 69

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I was probably a little tilted having just lost set over set on another table so I instacalled this, but it's not like I'm gonna let the short stack bluff me there. PokerStars Game #9389500931: Hold'em No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2007/04/12 - 19:31:44 (ET)Table 'Muliphein III' 9-max Seat #3 is the buttonSeat 1: dld390 ($62.65 in chips) Seat 2: bdpna ($52.30 in chips) Seat 3: 16021975 ($22 in chips) Seat 4: xAcesxUpxAA ($19.15 in chips) Seat 5: MMplan ($29.15 in chips) Seat 6: Sweet.kr ($52.25 in chips) Seat 7: Fuchsie ($49.25 in chips) Seat 8: triverd ($72.45 in chips) Seat 9: TimWakefield ($50.45 in chips) xAcesxUpxAA: posts small blind $0.25MMplan: posts big blind $0.50*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to TimWakefield [Jh Ts]Sweet.kr: folds Fuchsie: folds triverd: folds 16021975 said, "special BB lol"TimWakefield: raises $1 to $1.50dld390: folds bdpna: folds 16021975: calls $1.50xAcesxUpxAA: calls $1.25MMplan: folds *** FLOP *** [5d Jc 8c]xAcesxUpxAA: checks TimWakefield: bets $2.5016021975: folds xAcesxUpxAA: calls $2.50*** TURN *** [5d Jc 8c] [Qs]xAcesxUpxAA: checks TimWakefield: bets $6xAcesxUpxAA: calls $6*** RIVER *** [5d Jc 8c Qs] [Th]xAcesxUpxAA: bets $9.15 and is all-inTimWakefield: calls $9.15*** SHOW DOWN ***xAcesxUpxAA: shows [2c 4c] (high card Queen)TimWakefield: shows [Jh Ts] (two pair, Jacks and Tens)TimWakefield collected $38.35 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $40.30 | Rake $1.95 Board [5d Jc 8c Qs Th]Seat 1: dld390 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: bdpna folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: 16021975 (button) folded on the FlopSeat 4: xAcesxUpxAA (small blind) showed [2c 4c] and lost with high card QueenSeat 5: MMplan (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: Sweet.kr folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 7: Fuchsie folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 8: triverd folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: TimWakefield showed [Jh Ts] and won ($38.35) with two pair, Jacks and Tens16021975: omg16021975: nh moronTimWakefield: are u talking to me16021975 said, "yeah of course"TimWakefield said, "what's wrong with me calling a river bet withthe winning hand"xAcesxUpxAA said, "lol i made the right play there were so many hands that beat you"TimWakefield said, "i also made the right call"TimWakefield said, "duh"16021975 said, "never"TimWakefield said, "lmao"TimWakefield said, "never"16021975 said, "right call"xAcesxUpxAA said, "no you were just hoping you had the best hand"xAcesxUpxAA said, "you didnt even think about it"TimWakefield said, "it was right that time dumbass how is that never"triverd said, "lol, ou pushed 9 into like 20"TimWakefield said, "ty triv"xAcesxUpxAA said, "ok i am glade to see you r like that"And yeah I know I sound kinda dumb and also shouldn't tap the tank, but like I said I was steaming a little.

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timwakefield

timwakefield 69

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collusion? Why the hell would the guy with lots of numbers in his name berate you like that?
I don't think they're friends, dude just likes to talk and explain why everybody is stupid except him.
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navybuttons

navybuttons 16

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I don't think they're friends, dude just likes to talk and explain why everybody is stupid except him.
i know what your avatar is.one time i said "i had 28 outs, she only had 12." she responded, "i had a made hand" and started booing at me.
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scottyno

scottyno 0

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when he says you "sucked out" because you turned a straight when you had KQ and the flop was AKT, J on the turn and he had Q4

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Webslinger516

Webslinger516 0

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it was early in a tournament, and this guy was only playing big hands. like he expected to get anywhere sitting on his thumbs. i picked up 69s in the big betty. he limped in from under the giraffe for 200. i felt something, that feeling like a flop is about to be sweet perfection, so when it folded around to me i made it 600 to go.that donkey actually re-raised it to 2000. such a terrible bluff, he already showed weakness limping in. i jammed the rest of my 10k & fired up aim. i wanted to get some friends in here to see this guy go down in flames. he actually freakin' called it!he flipped over AA. i said, "i knew it."neither of them was spades, so flush + straight + 2 pair is alot of outs. he asked, "69?" i said, "no thanks, i already ate. you're the only one going down." i'm smooth like that.the flop was 269, and the 2 was a spade, so i had him dominated and my flush was still good.he rivers a freakin' ace. i told him to learn how to play, and he said, "your retarded." stoopid bahstid doesn't even know the difference between your and your'e. these n00bs are killing the game for good players.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Freakin' excellent post :club:
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DoinSublime

DoinSublime 0

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This is the rebuy hour of my $3 rebuy.PokerStars Game #9418768018: Tournament #47144404, $3.00+$0.30 Hold'em No Limit - Level II (15/30) - 2007/04/14 - 14:27:00 (ET)Table '47144404 332' 9-max Seat #3 is the buttonSeat 1: TeddyKGB AA (2157 in chips) Seat 2: Sealed Deck (2985 in chips) Seat 3: david tuttle (5749 in chips) Seat 4: MiroCats (2807 in chips) Seat 5: Obiwan48 (2897 in chips) Seat 6: bullwinkle25 (4225 in chips) Seat 7: DoinSublime (2773 in chips) Seat 8: tpisano (1470 in chips) Seat 9: Chief Rug (3437 in chips) MiroCats: posts small blind 15Obiwan48: posts big blind 30*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DoinSublime [Qc Qd]bullwinkle25: calls 30DoinSublime: calls 30tpisano: folds Chief Rug: folds TeddyKGB AA: raises 127 to 157Sealed Deck: folds david tuttle: folds MiroCats: calls 142Obiwan48: folds bullwinkle25: raises 503 to 660DoinSublime: raises 2113 to 2773 and is all-inTeddyKGB AA: calls 2000 and is all-inMiroCats: folds bullwinkle25: calls 2113*** FLOP *** [3c Qs Jc]*** TURN *** [3c Qs Jc] [7h]*** RIVER *** [3c Qs Jc 7h] [9c]*** SHOW DOWN ***bullwinkle25: shows [Ac Ad] (a pair of Aces)DoinSublime: shows [Qc Qd] (three of a kind, Queens)DoinSublime collected 1232 from side potTeddyKGB AA: shows [4c 4s] (a pair of Fours)DoinSublime collected 6658 from main potbullwinkle25 said, "never fails, donks suck out"TeddyKGB AA re-buys and receives 1500 chips for $3.00TeddyKGB AA re-buys and receives 1500 chips for $3.00*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 7890 Main pot 6658. Side pot 1232. | Rake 0 Board [3c Qs Jc 7h 9c]Seat 1: TeddyKGB AA showed [4c 4s] and lost with a pair of FoursSeat 2: Sealed Deck folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: david tuttle (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: MiroCats (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 5: Obiwan48 (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: bullwinkle25 showed [Ac Ad] and lost with a pair of AcesSeat 7: DoinSublime showed [Qc Qd] and won (7890) with three of a kind, QueensSeat 8: tpisano folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 9: Chief Rug folded before Flop (didn't bet)Then KGB made me laugh even more.TeddyKGB AA said, "yeah he probably should have folded queens in the rebuy hour of a $3 rebuy"TeddyKGB AA said, "good point"

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