you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[realdeal515 0]

I submit Exhibit A and Exhibit B.

IM actually pretty upset that u put that link up there. I spent about 1 to 2 minutes reading jferrell's post.Thank alot

[funplyr9 0]

In a tourny I organized, started with 31, down to about 15. Im in bb with J6 off. 2 limpers and i check. I<m short stacked, blinds are raising and i hope for a good flop. J37 I figure I could take this down now (table image is tight, dont screw with my big bets cause im a rock) I go all in for 880 to a 700 or so pot, FOLD, suckout queen to my right looks at me, looks at her chips, she has less than 1000 if she calls, looks at me again, CALLS, I turn over my JACK, she turns over A3 off. Turn ....A. Im out , then she says >call it womens intuition, i knew you had me , but i knew my hand would win> men cant win in poker either i guess

[SiliconSlim 0]

playing on a $1/2 NL, $100 max tableraise to 6 with AA, get reraised to 12 by a huge stack, i make it 42, get calledflop KQ4, i've got $80 left, I bet $40, he puts me all in, I call.I flip over my aces, he has KT. turn K, river T. fine, i lost, it's poker. but then he says "I put you on aces".

Just had one like that... "thought you hit your set on the turn."

[otnemem 0]

"I get all of my poker strategy advice from Full Contact Poker's forums."

[dms26 3]

"I've got the nuts"when they don't. Sometimes it not even close like when they have "two pair" with one pair on the board. Some of these guys just cannot read all the possibilities on a board. Not so funny, but one I see a lot.The most often comment I see is "lucky bast%rd!". that seems to be the most common thing I see fish say.

Lol, me and a few friends have a saying "two pair is the nuts". If 90% of internet players have 2 pair they won't fold under any circumstance.Eddie where the hell do you play?

[iveyfan30 0]

they ebt 5000 into a 100 dollar pot and brag about blufing

xxeddie..seems like you run into an awful lot of these kind of players...what is it about you that attracts these guys? i just sayin,cause you have like 40 posts in this thread lol...

[SiLi 0]

I hear this one quite often in the NL100 game at Commerce. A K blank on flop and the person with the AQ or better leads out with a potsized bet. The fish next to me picks up his cards which are usually some low pocket pair that missed the flop and the fish next to him says "its only 25$ to see one more card, you might hit it and then you're good"or pocket Aces will lose to someone with 88 with all the money going in before the flop and when the 88 cracks the Aces that fish will say "Justice!"

[Nutcracker 0]

A couple months back, I was at our homegame when it was just starting up, so the players were pretty new to poker. It was towards the end and I pick up AA. Guy raises all in preflop and I call. He flips over his cards (KcTc) and says "flush draw". I flip over mine and say "boat draw".

[augmented 0]

how is this. my friend laying even money odds on my AA vs his 99. its too bad we dont have any real money, but we ran it for a quarter at a time. he tells me, "i believe, against KK or AA, that 89 is basically a coinflip".and i'm like, ok, lets do it then. what an idiot. oh and then he tells me he's a better player than I am, because he won an NCAA bracket to total more winnings than me. "gambling is gambling."i now always jizz myself when he asks to play heads up.

[missIdaho 1]

"It doesn't matter if I show you my cards because the probabilities change everytime you shuffle the deck." - from my brother the poker god

[elkang 0]

... I don't get this thread?

then why are you posting on it

Personally, I think "I don't get this thread" is what a fish would post if they saw this thread.

[elkang 0]

humour police...I think Pebbles has taken over Fred's account...

Listen dumbass, just because you make a bad joke doesn't mean you get to complain because people don't get it. if someone (me) has to explain the joke then it probably wasnt a good one. this retort to XXEddie is even worse.also, learn how to post. no one would understand this post without the context. also, your one potential good post is actually not even an example of what fish say. Just someone who sat at the wrong table and got a snappy answer.you may not be a fish, but you are clueless.

[bourbenz 0]

MYfavorite was when a guy called all inn with a gutshot against a set, the one guy says nice 22-1 shot , the fish says how could you possibly know that (meaning the odds). :shock:

[fryer98 30]

bigUPSguy [observer]: i always say if u dont love the river your scared of water or u just got beat

[econ_tim 0]

When he starts talking about how everyone at the table is a fish, and complaining about all the things fish do.

[jeff_536 3]

I think this will get very very fun

"Hi. My name is Jayson Weber. Mind if I sit down?"Woohoo!! New page, suckers!

[Guest XXEddie]

they ebt 5000 into a 100 dollar pot and brag about blufing

xxeddie..seems like you run into an awful lot of these kind of players...what is it about you that attracts these guys? i just sayin,cause you have like 40 posts in this thread lol...

Pacific PokerI do have a lot most of them come from 2-3 years ago

[Guest XXEddie]

I think this will get very very fun

"Hi. My name is Jayson Weber. Mind if I sit down?"Woohoo!! New page, suckers!

BBBBBBUUUUUUURRRRNNNNN!!!.....Sorry Jaysonbut it was funny, huh?

[tlane 0]

Actual situation in the poker room of the Atlantis Hotel/casino in Reno, NV:Out loud to the table during a 3/6 limit game -After complaints from players followed by a warning from the room manager about how long he was taking to make his decisions on every street on every hand (nearly 30 to 45 seconds), this player raises his voice with authority and says,“…I know what I’m doing….I watch ESPN..” Again…a true story

[Guest XXEddie]

Actual situation in the poker room of the Atlantis Hotel/casino in Reno, NV:Out loud to the table during a 3/6 limit game -After complaints from players followed by a warning from the room manager about how long he was taking to make his decisions on every street on every hand  (nearly 30 to 45 seconds), this player raises his voice with authority and says,“…I know what I’m doing….I watch ESPN..”  Again…a true story

You should stood up and said"I KNOW MORE THAN YOU, I WATCH THE WORLD POKER TOUR!!!!"

[DJ_Chaps 0]

earlier tonight in one of those lil FTP tourny chip sng's:I look down (err at the screen) at QQ.Mr Loose Aggresive to my right makes his typical pre flop raise (blinds were 100/200 if i remember right). he makes it 500 to go, and i then get all my chips in the pot. 2500ish roughly. of course he calls, as he had a big stack as a result of (no lie) at least 4-5 underdog coinflips/suckouts.he flips over A7os.flop gives him a 7, turn blank, river A.he then says: hahah stupid fish.

[kindofblu 0]

glub...glub...(come on, that's gold. man, I gotta go to bed.)

[Scott31 0]

JFarrell left? When did this happen? And for what reason? That guy was the heart and soul of this forum...I loved his posts. I also haven't heard from Smash in a while, did I miss something?

[Guest XXEddie]

JFarrell left?  When did this happen?  And for what reason?  That guy was the heart and soul of this forum...I loved his posts.  I also haven't heard from Smash in a while, did I miss something?

JFarrel got banned for countless offensive and stupid postsSmash just doesnt post anymore....and Im glad about that frankly

[Guest XXEddie]

board KJ65(two spades, J, 5)one guy goes allin with AKfish with A7 callsriver; 2 of hearts(not really....but its the common "blank"fish-"@%&$ing river"